Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or SNL unfortunately

This is based on the Ronnie and Clyde skit featuring Shy Ronnie and Rhianna who plays Clyde. In this story Shy Ronnie is Ron (R) and Clyde is Hermione (H). I changed very little of the original so it could fit in the Wizarding World.

H- "We done the work. We know the system. We have the fire power and we have each other. You ready?"

R- mhmhm… smiles then nods.

Enter Gringotts.

Sings

H- "Yeah ey ey ey ey ey we at it again. Everybody now hands the air it's a stick up (stick up). No funny business or you'll get lit up lit up. You test I (I), you gonna die and at your funeral your momma gonna cry. So customers kiss the floor (floor) and goblins open vaults up slow (slow). If you don't wanna end up dead I'll do everything Shy Ronnie says tell 'em Ronnie.

R-(mumbles)

Everyone is trying to hear what Ronnie is saying.

H-"No one in the back can hear you."

R-(mumbles)

H-"Shy Ronnie use your outside voice." Nudges him.

R-(still mumbles)

H- "We don't have time for this."

R-"HaHaa"

H-"Let's go. So stay on the ground it's a stick up (stick up) your wallets and jewels we'll pick up (pick up). Unload the cash move your ass. We're gettin money tell 'em Shy Ronnie."

R-(mumbles)

H-"Please, please use your words.

R-(mumbles)

H-"Just imagine that everyone's naked."

R- Stops mumbling.

Everyone looks at Ronnie

H- Looks down. "Uh oh Boner Alert he really pictured them naked."

R-"HaHaa."

H-"Why did I think you could do this."

Hostage runs.

H- "Ronnie hostage on the move."

Blast

R- Cursed himself in the foot.

H-"He cursed himself. And why is your wand so small."

Sirens are heard outside.

H- "The ministry is on the why."

Ministry person outside- "Come out with your hands up."

A Goblin comes out with 3 bags of Galleons.

H- "Good luck Shy Ronnie." Grabs 2 of the bags and tosses it over her shoulder.

R- Looks at her.

H- "Bye bye." She leaves.

Silent

R-"HaHaa."

Silent

R-raps "Ronnie mother fucker and I'm back from the dead prank war with the Verdi so I shot my own leg. Don't forget the name twisted cause I'm crazy as shit. I'll tie a giant ass noose of my giant ass dick."

Hermione come back in

R-sees Hermione coming in and goes back to mumbling.

H-"Hey, I forgot this money and also this guy."

Grabs money and Draco Malfoy's hand and puts it on her shoulder.

H-"Come on we're gonna have sex."

Hermione just made Draco's day.

H- "Too-Da-Loo."

She and Draco leave.

R-raps "And you can hang from it cause you don't wanna see my real wand. Curses threw the sky put your face and real fun crock."

Authors note: I think I got Shy Ronnie's entire rap correct. But if I got some of it wrong then I'm sorry. If you haven't seen this, then go watch it on Youtube it's hilarious.