Preface
It was kind of funny, actually.
The first thing that a corner of my mind had vaguely registered when he'd said that was how much his voice had changed. Sure, it had that same quality of sounding as if it had been shaped and molded by sights and sounds that shouldn't be experienced by someone of such a ripe age. Admittedly, it still had that special something buried deep within it, that could evoke such varying reactions from anyone and everyone.
It was rougher than before, I'd absent-mindedly thought. The note that spoke of naiveté no longer rang within its confines. It was mature. It sounded mature. Amazingly enough, the genuine innocence, mixed with his usual slyness and playfulness, and that darned 'I-know-something-you-don't tone, could still be detected, but with a strange, unwavering awareness that I could perhaps see him acquiring all those years ago— but never believed I would actually hear it outside of my imagination.
Yes, his voice had changed, I noted abstractedly.
Looking back on it, it's kind of funny how, despite those differences, it never occurred to me even once to actually turn around and see for myself who that voice belonged to. I'd just pushed back the bubbling warmth spreading with alarming rapidness inside me— the indescribable rush of relief, elation, joy, euphoria, anticipation, solace, comfort, contentment, bliss, pure intoxication—and smiled, ever-so-slightly. Because if it widened even a little, I knew that the tears would start slipping out desperately, without even a moment's delay. So, I smiled a ghost of a grin instead.
No turning around. You don't need to turn around, because he's there. You know it. He's there.
And I felt my vision becoming clouded anyway, felt the dampness of tears clinging to my eyelashes.
He's there. He's there, he's there, he's there.
Because I can't doubt you. No. Not you. Never you.
"Let me tell you a little secret. You know, when I first saw you, I said, 'Just who the hell is that girl, sitting over there like she owns the whole damn world? It pisses me off,' but I could still feel a tiny, little part of me saying 'You've lived to meet this girl, kid.'"