"My Last Breath"
A/N: This story is inspired by Evanescence's "My Last Breath". I own nothing. Not song lyrics, Seamus Finnigan, or it seems, my OC Kaelyn. Even in her dumber moments of denial, she belongs to Seamus, mind, body, and soul. Always.
SUMMARY: Wounded in a battle she was never meant to be in, Kaelyn begs Seamus to move on without her, knowing in her final moments that here and now, was the greatest fear her love had ever had.
Kaelyn opened her eyes to a burst of color and a world of pain. She had heard the gun go off, but there had been no time to brace for the impact of the bullet. There hadn't even been time to move. Not out of the way at least. Seamus and his mum had been fighting. Arlene had burst into their home in a drunken rage during dinner, swearing and waving things about and throwing what nots she found in her path. Kaelyn had grabbed the children and taken them to their rooms where she told them to stay before returning downstairs to help Seamus with his mother.
Arlene darkened their doorway at least once a month, and always for the same thing. To berate her disgusting, lowlife, no good, failure of a son. Kaelyn was sick of it.
Seamus Finnigan at one point in his life had been all those things. More, even. But almost overnight he had changed, and Kaelyn loved him even more for it. She and Seamus had gotten together their freshman year of highschool, and while Seamus drank and partook in parties and drugs, he never once thought of cheating on Kaelyn. He never hit her, or cursed her, or came round her when he wasn't himself. He even tried to get sober but...the demon he faced at home always set him back. Kaelyn never could bring herself to leave him for it. Then one night, a few months through their junior year, after weeks of being sick, Kaelyn found herself in the bathroom of a football game crying, two pink lines staring up at her from the pregnancy test she had bought at the corner drug store. She and Seamus were going to have a baby and...she had no idea how she was going to tell him.
She had avoided him all the next week until finally he cornered her, tears in his eyes, asking what he had done wrong and...she broke. She told him everything. She apologized for ruining his life. For...destroying everything. Seamus cried too but...he swore he wouldn't leave her and...he never did. Never even thought about it. Seamus sobered up cold turkey after that, dropped out of school, and got a full time job to support them so Kaelyn could graduate and go on to med school like she had dreamed. He had sacrificed his dreams for his family. Kaelyn had never felt more blessed.
Anfisa Nichole was born 15th July, exactly one month before Kaelyn started her senior year of highschool. She opted to homeschool her final year so she could take care of their new baby while Seamus worked two jobs to support them. He made enough money to get them a decent little efficiency apartment and pay the bills, even managing to get them a car held together with duct tape and dreams but...he did it honest, and Kaelyn didn't mind. She worked hard to keep Anfisa happy, Seamus healthy, and her grades perfect. By the time Anfisa turned one Kaelyn had graduated highschool, gotten her Nurse Assistant liscense and landed a job in home health making $18 an hour. She worked while Anfisa slept, and her private employer did not mind her bringing Anfisa with her to work. She could not have been more thankful. A few months after, Seamus' boss at the factory called him in to the office and gave him a promotion. Told him he had never had someone to work as hard and as diligently as Seamus did, and because of that, he wanted Seamus to run the whole floor. Told him he'd give him a solid $16 an hour and free insurance for his family. The boss man had met Anfisa at the company picnic and immediately formed a soft spot for her big blue eyes and pretty blonde hair.
Life was slowly looking up for them. They got married that spring because...why shouldn't they, and Kaelyn went to school year round to finish her degree quicker because honestly, school was not her favorite thing to do. They pinched and saved and in the fall that Anfisa turned two they cashed in their savings for a two bedroom apartment on the better side of town and a car that didn't shake when you drove it.
By their third year on their own, they had established a comfortable life for themselves. They still had to budget and save but...they ate better than ramen noodles and they didn't worry about being homeless or not having running water and electricity. That winter Arlene decided to darken their doorstep for the first time. Seamus had tried to be calm, had stood statue still as Arlene wailed on him with her words and her fists. When she finally passed out, Kaelyn helped load her in their car and Seamus drove her back to the dump she lived in and deposited her in the bed. They did not see the witch for six more months.
As Anfisa turned four, Kaelyn graduated college with the highest honors and got accepted into med school two hours away, and as a graduation present, her millionaire employer bought her a brand new suv with pretty decent gas mileage. Kaelyn tried to return it but, as the man had said many times before, he had no children of his own, and he couldn't take his money with him when he went. Kaelyn smiled a little and admitted a second car would make life a whole lot easier.
When Anfisa turned six, Seamus boss called him in and said that he was retiring, wishing to spend time with his children, and grandchildren. He offered the post to Seamus, who, for $68,000 a year, accepted. When Arlene heard the news of money, she started darkening their doorway more often, screaming at Seamus to be repaid for raising his no good ass. He always gave it to her just to get her to go away.
Kaelyn's employer died that winter, leaving her without an income but...he had already planned for that. He left Kaelyn his beautiful four bedroom home, the quad cab truck he had driven only once in the two years he had owned it, money to pay for the rest of her schooling, and half a million dollars to 'raise that beautiful baby the way I would have raised my own, had I had any.' Kaelyn had gone home and cried, all her worries lifting away for the moment as she called Seamus home and told him to take the week off so they could move. When he asked about renting a truck, she gave him the keys to the truck he had drooled over at her bosses house and told him happy birthday. In that moment, they had never been happier.
The Christmas Anfisa turned eight, she got a baby brother, Mattieus Daire. He was the spitting image of his daddy, and everything Kaelyn had ever wanted. Her little family was finally complete. She took the semester off of school to adjust to one extra person in the home, but it didn't do her any harm as she had already been ahead, and the Dean of her program was very understanding to such dedicated and determined students.
Now as Anfisa was turning ten, and Mattieus almost two; Kaelyn preparing to graduate Med-School in two short weeks, and Seamus at the head of the company that had bought out the factory he managed, their happily ever after, was coming to a violent end.
Hold on to me, love, You know I can't stay long. All I wanted to say was, "I love you and I'm not afraid." Can you hear me? Can you feel me in your arms?
Hitting the floor on both knees, Kaelyn's hands went to her chest where the pain was the greatest. As she pulled them away, coated in blood, she looked at the world around her, her face drawn, trying to figure out what exactly had gone wrong. She had taken the children, deposited them in the play room, locked the door to keep them safe, and gone downstairs to Seamus. She had stopped on the stairs when she saw the gun in Arlenes hand. She had cried out when she noticed it pointed at her husband. She screamed for Arlene to stop when she realized the woman was three sheets to the wind about something that had never even happened. And as Arlene pulled the trigger, Kaelyn ran to Seamus, pushing him out of the way without any warning, and taking the bullet meant for him, for herself.
"Oh," she breathed, tears coming to her eyes as she watched Seamus fight his mother, the gun going off again, and the woman falling dead.
Kaelyn brought her hands back to her chest as she sat where she was, trying to hold the blood in, but knowing it was too late already. Help would not get to her in time.
Seamus hit the floor on his knees, cell phone to his ear, already on the phone to 911, screaming for help, any kind of help at all. When paramedics and police were on their way, he took off his shirt and held it to Kaelyn's chest, holding her as she collapsed into his arms, her strength leaving her as quickly as her blood.
"Just hold on, baby," Seamus said.
"Help is on the way. Just hold on a little longer."
Kaelyn looked up at her husband and smiled.
"I love you," she said softly, her hand going to his cheek, smearing the blood from it on his face as she carressed his jaw.
"Please," he begged, tears already falling down his cheeks.
"It will be okay," she said sadly.
"Don't go," he breathed.
I'll miss the winter. A world of fragile things. Look for me in the white forest. Hiding in a hollow tree.
Seamus and Kaelyn stayed like that for a while before she tried to move.
"The...the children," she forced herself to say.
"You...go check on them. Tell them...tell them it's okay. That...that I'll be there to tuck them in...in a moment."
Seamus nodded, hearing the lie in her voice and wiping his face before propping her on a pillow and going to see the children. He was thankful in that moment to find them curled up sleeping. Softly closing the door, he left them to their dreams. He would let their nightmare start tomorrow, even though his was happening now. He had no idea how he would tell them what the morning would bring. An eternal winter had fallen over their home that night. It would be forever ruined.
I know you hear me. I can taste it in your tears.
As he came back down the stairs, he could hear the sirens coming, but they were still a long way off. If he judged it right, they had just now turned onto the mile long drive. Sinking down beside Kaelyn he took her hand and gave her a smile.
"Help is almost here," he said, focusing on her face...the only part of her body not covered in blood.
"The...how..." she tried, finding it almost too difficult to breathe.
"Sleeping," he said softly.
"It'll...it's okay. Everything...help is coming and...you'll be right as rain in the morning. Just...just a little banged up."
"It won't be okay," Kaelyn said, tears finally falling down her cheeks.
"I'm dying. I can feel it."
Closing your eyes to disappear, You pray your dreams will leave you here; But still you wake and know the truth. No one's there...
Just as Seamus was about to respond, medics and officers alike burst through the door, guns drawn and equipment out. When officers saw the threat was nullified, they put their weapons away and started marking off the scene, one of them pulling Seamus away so the EMT's could do their job. Radios blared and orders were barked as Kaelyn was triaged on their living room floor, loaded up and taken to their front yard where a helicopter was about to land to fly her to the nearest trauma unit they had in a desperate attempt to save her life. But their faces told the story, they were losing the battle and they knew it already. Someone whispered she wouldn't make it through the hospital doors.
An officer pulled Seamus to the side and asked him what happened, taking a brief statement before sticking him in the back of a cop car and slamming the door, telling the occupying officer to drive like no tomorrow to get the man to the hospital with his wife, telling Seamus he would have someone come and watch the kids. The one good thing about the sacrifices Seamus and Kaelyn had made was that while they were still painfully young for the life they lead, they had gained the respect of the members of their community and in times like these, it really showed. He had just admitted to killing his mother, and instead of being carted off to jail, he was being driven to his dying wife to be with her in her final moments. Even though that thought caused him pain, it also brought him comfort.
Say goodnight. Don't be afraid. Calling me, calling me as you fade to black.
Seamus and the officer had taken off 10 minutes before the chopper landed, hoping to get a head start on Kaelyn's arrival. The seasoned cop drove a hundred and ten the whole way there to make it in time but...the helicopter landed long before Seamus would arrive. Almost an hour before his arrival, and definately not according to plan.
'The best laid plans of mice and men, often go awry.'
Kaelyn's favorite saying. She had even painted it on the bathroom wall, right next to the mirror. To remind them both to account for everything that happened when life didn't go according to their plans.
Neither had them had ever planned for today.
As Seamus lie on the concrete of the road, a good 20 feet from the police car he had been thrown from when they were barreled off the overpass of the highway, his body broken beyond repair, he thought about the irony of it all. He hadn't even kissed his children goodnight. Or...told him that he loved them. He had left them sleeping, in the care of a stranger he hadn't stayed to meet, and taken off to be with their mother, who may not have even survived the flight. He had left his kids as orphans, with no remaining family to go to. Kaelyn's parents had died when she was young, and she had been left a ward of the state until she turned 17, and filed for emancipation, which was granted. Seamus' family...had died to him years ago as well.
(Say goodnight) Holding my last breath.
What felt like hours later, but may only have been moments, Seamus heard the sirens of help approaching, and he wondered if it was too late. If this was the feeling his sweet Kaelyn had been talking about. His body was slowing down. The pain fading away as the breaths became fewer and the beats became softer. In that moment he prayed to God for a miracle. If only for his children, he prayed that one of them, preferably Kaelyn, would make it home before his babies woke.
(Don't be afraid) Safe inside myself.
The ambulance pulled up beside him, and it was vaguely like he was watching Kaelyn being treated all over again. Triage on the floor. Orders and equipment and radios everywhere. Urgency. Desperation. Transportation.
'He isn't going to make it.'
(Calling me, calling me) Are all my thoughts of you?
"My...my wife," he tried to ask as they put an oxygen mask over his face.
All they could do was look at him sadly and tell him it would be okay.
Seamus' body became heavy on the way, and his brain became light. He closed his eyes and saw the faces of his family.
Heaven.
Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight
In what may very well be the greatest tragedy this small community has seen in some time, there is hope. After three weeks in ICU, Kaelyn Finnigan, recent graduate of the Medical Program at Duke University, has awoken from a coma and is expected to make a full recovery.
Kaelyn, 27, is the mother of two children, Anfisa, 9, and Mattieus, 18 months; and the widow of Seamus Finnigan, 27, who died last month at the hands of a drunk driver while en route to the hospital his wife had been rushed to on the night of their home invasion.
Many will recall that at approximately 7:15 on the night of 12th May, this year, Mr. Finnigans estranged mother, Arlene Dixon, burst into their home in a wild rage caused by illegal drugs in her system, demanding money. When Mr. Finnigan refused, Mrs. Dixon pointed a firearm at him and discharged the weapon, intent on killing her only child. In an act of love however, Kaelyn pushed her husband out of the way, taking the bullet for herself, sustaining what should have been a fatal injury. Crews were called to the scene, working tirelessly to save the young womans life, and her husband was placed in the back of a cop car and driven to the trauma unit at Duke University. Unfortunately, Mr. Finnigan never made it to his wifes side.
Just three miles from their intended destination, 17 year old Michael Conners sideswiped Officer Lainharts cruiser, both driving in excess of 100mph, forcing the cruiser through the barrier, causing it to freefall 20-odd feet to the highway below. Conners was arrested on suspicions of DUI and is currently awaiting trial on several charges. Officer Lainhart is expected to make a full recovery.
Crews arriving on scene administered emergency treatment on Mr. Finnigan for 20 minutes before stabalizing him enough for transport to University hospital. Unfortunately, an hour after his arrival, Mr. Finnigan succumbed to his injuries and was pronounced dead at 11:45 that night. According to his living will, Mr. Finnigan wished to be an organ donor, and in a miracle from the Heavens above, his dying wife was able to receive the heart she needed to survive this tragedy.
An expense account has been established at Citizens Guarantee Bank to help cover Kaelyn's extensive medical bills, as well as funeral expenses for Seamus, and care costs for their two small children. Donations may be made at any of the six branches or made straight to University hospital in Kaelyns name, or Tolers Funeral Home under Mr. Finnigan.
Private services were held for Mr. Finnigan a week ago Saturday, and he was interned in the SouthWest Chapel's east plot. Markers were donated by the graduating class of Duke University 2017 in honor of their classmate and her family.
For more on this story, and ways you can help, please see page 4.
(Holding my last breath)