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Jack sat on the hard stool and wondered how the hell they had gotten here, glancing over at Owen's desk where the framed picture of Josh sat pride of place and remembered their excitement the day he was born.

OK, maybe I should go back a bit and let you catch up. You see, there was this alien race called Martins…yes. Corny but true and they found the name Martian funny too. So, get it out of your system, have a snigger and focus. OK? I'm trying to explain something to you. So, anyway these Martins lost one of their offspring and Jack and Ianto found it before a bloody dog the size of a tank ate it. They were obviously relieved and grateful, the talk about children not long but long enough for them to know Ianto and Jack were a couple, childless and Ianto could not provide. Anyone could see Jack was the alpha so Ianto was clearly the 'wife' although he seemed to bristle a bit when asked. Touchy lot, the Welsh. Anyway, as a parting gift they…tweaked things….a harmless wee thing really, used frequently on their planet and these humans were similar in anatomy so it should work OK. Of course, the resulting pregnancy had been a shock to all concerned, especially Jack for some reason who had taken an extra long time on a high roof before he admitted to Ianto that he was jealous. Jealous!

Josh was born without fanfare, a replica of Ianto down to his wee button nose and Jack had fallen in love even more with his family, revelling in this new found bonding as Ianto finally set up house and let Jack into his world of cup coasters, sofa covers and shoes off at the fucking door for the love of the goddess!

Coming back to work had been awkward, Jack wanting to smother but knowing that was unfair. Owen and Tosh adored their little nephew, even if Gwen still refused to accept this was not some plot on Ianto's part to trap Jack into marriage. Ianto had invited her to the wedding, a quiet wee affair out on the moors in the long grass, a bit of a relief when she didn't bother turning up. She claimed a tummy bug. Jack still to this day is unsure if that was a jibe but Ianto took it that way, never complaining but letting his displeasure show in his stilted Mona Lisa smile.

Well, that was three years ago, the Martin Baby and although Owen really fought for them to call him Martin, Joshua won. Josh for short. The Owen in the middle seemed to placate the gruff uncle there.

So, back at work, Josh cloistered in a wee play pen when not with a sitter and things seemed to settle into their routine again, albeit with more public displays of affection as Ianto now allowed not only hand holding in public but the rare kiss with minimal blushing as well. A real family, ya know?

Now this had to happen.

A routine Weevil Scoop gone wrong. One minute they were racing around the edge of a copse of trees, the next thing ya know there is a soft yelp in Jack's earpiece that was not welcome in the slightest little bit, then the next…Ianto is laid out cold with a huge Buck standing over him growling. Jack didn't blink, the Webley answering the challenge and the blood seeping from Ianto's head was totally not welcome either.

Fucking stool was uncomfortable as Jack wrestled with it…too high…too low…fucking lever was broken?

"Jack, stop fiddling about with your arse for a minute will ya?" Owen said softly and Jack looked up with surprise. "Is Josh still with his sitter?"

"Mrs Fendy" Jack nodded as he named the lovely old lady, Mrs Fendericks, who lived a few doors down that Josh had befriended all by himself one day and invited home for tea. Lovely lady. A real grandma kind of lady and she had quickly become part of the woodwork with her knitting, baking and most importantly love for their son, "She is settled in for the evening. I told her we were going clubbing so if we came home shattered she wouldn't question Ianto's red eyes. You know night time hunts are a bitch for his eyesight."

"Good" Owen nodded, shifting from foot to foot, "Right. A few things. Firstly, eight stitches. He hasn't bled to death so you can stop panicking, just a clunk to the skull. May have a concussion I bet, look…er…you remember how we talked about the Martins and their wee piece of tech causing us some …er…surprise?"

"Yeah?" Jack grimaced as he noted Owen's discomfort.

"Well…we need to amend that to surprises" Owen finished with a furtive look at Jack who was still frowning.

"Huh?"

"Mate, he's up the duff again" Owen said slowly, "Like…it wasn't a onetime deal. The little tweak was a permanent one and without any birth control for him…well. Shoulda thought of that I guess."

The stool handle broke again and the stool slowly descended as Jack sat gaping at Owen. Slowly disappearing from view.

Definitely a surprise.

Again.

Shit.