When Jun Insults KunKun

Summary: Do not, if you value your life, insult KunKun. This will not sit well with the dolls. Especially Shinku. Unfortunately, nobody warned Jun about this. Possible OOCness.

Yes, I am here with another short story. I know that I still have Chocolate and How to Annoy a Rozen Maiden and Live to update, but I have a habit of starting a story when I still have stories in progress. A bad habit.

Anyway, this is attempted humour, like most of my short stories, and a running gag I hope to continue in each chapter (Still don't know how many I'm going to make. The number 6 come to mind, but so does the number 4) is that Shinku and (an)other doll(s) will join her in the hunt for Jun.

Ps. My OC Marina is in this. This is in Japanese format, so you get a look at Japanese Marina before my Vertrauen Japanese Re-write. I also, since we don't really know it, made up Jun's age.


Sakurada Jun. 12 years old. Death...well, anytime soon. You see, Jun is a boy who is...lacking in the cranial department. Because, he has been stupid enough to annoy Suiseiseki, the doll who calls him a 'stupid chibi human', her original fear of humans contributing. He has been stupid enough to mess up Kanaria's name to the point that she wouldn't stop hitting him with her parasol, then later, her violin. He has been stupid enough, to forget Shinku's daily tea, earning him triple hair slaps. But, what he has done was not stupid, but suicide.

"It's just a stupid puppet. KunKun isn't real and he doesn't really solve murder cases. You dolls should just grow up and accept that KunKun could never meet you." Yes, that is right. The boy insulted KunKun. To a room of rabid KunKun fans. While most of the dolls present at his declaration were merely shocked and angry, nothing, no words, no pictures, no presentation, could explain the anger of the fifth Rozen Maiden.

First, she was silent, shaking unnoticeably, tightening her grip on her little teacup. Then, when the other dolls fell silent, staring at her with curiosity and confusion, she exploded.

"SAKURADA!" All the dolls present, even the brave ones, cowered behind the couch, summoning up their weapons, should their sister turn on them in her furious rampage. Hina and Kanaria held each other in tight grasps. Suiseiseki hid behind her sister, who only waited, holding her scissors close to her with an iron grip while Marina hid behind Suiseiseki. Marina shivered occasionally, but was, for the most part, calm. They all peaked out at the scene, and were shocked greatly by their sister.

"Sakurada Jun, you get your butt down here now!" Jun was cowering on top of the kitchen cupboards, casting fearful glances down at the tiny blonde below him. She was waving her fist in a very unladylike manner, and using such language that could not be printed. The dolls tried to cover the younger sisters' ears to prevent corruption, but some of the damage had already been done.

"Kanaria-onee-sama," Marina turned to the doll trying to stop Hina from listening to Shinku's colourful use of language, "why is Shinku-onee-sama saying this stuff, na no da?" Kanaria tried to act dumb and stuttered, thinking up a good excuse, "I-I don't know, Marina. How about you ask Suiseiseki and Souseiseki? They are smarter than I, kashira!" The twins cast her death glares, but then, Jun ran from the room, screaming like a little girl, while Shinku tried to shake off the empty bag of crisps that had been dropped on her. Shaking it off, and ignoring the cheese dust all over her, she ran out the room. Releasing Hina and Marina, the three oldest dolls shared a look.

"Shouldn't we go and help Jun, kashira?" Kanaria asked worried. Souseiseki shrugged.

"Maybe. I mean, we all know how Shinku could be." Suiseiseki snorted, marching to the other side of the couch.

"As if! We should leave the idiot chibi human to deal with her on his own, desu!" She jumped up onto the couch and huffed, folding her arms.

"And besides," she pouted, "the idiot chibi shouldn't have insulted KunKun, desu. Now, I'm probably going to lose my medium thanks to Shinku being as angry as she is, desu!" Marina jumped up next to her and picked up her cup of tea.

"Suiseiseki-onee-sama, why do you call Jun-san an idiot chibi, na no da?" She asked, before taking a sip.


Jun hid in Nori's room, holding his breath as if it could kill him. Well, in a way, it could. The temperature seemed to drop to -60 for literally a moment as Shinku walked past the room. Jun opened the door a crack, but slammed it silently shut as Shinku's head whipped around in his direction. Hearing the doll throw open and then slam shut his bedroom door in search of him, he let out his breath.

"Geez, what is with her?"

"You bad-mouthed Shinku out loud, that what, kashira." He jumped, but didn't dare scream should he grab Shinku's attention, and panted as Kanaria sat behind him, indifferent to his panic or near stopped heart.

"Oh my God, Kanupo, you didn't have to scare me half to death!" The doll flinched.

"My name is KA-NA-RI-A! Not Kanupo, or Kaning, or Kan-O-Soup. It is Kanaria, kashira! And you don't have to worry about me scaring you half to death, but Shinku bludgeoning you to your grave, kashira." Before Jun could reply, he heard something that made the blood going to his head stop.

"Marina, do you know where that idiot of a servant of mine is?" He heard Marina going 'Um' while she thought about it until she said, "I think he's in his room, na no da."

"He isn't. I've just been there."

"Have you checked the storage room, na no da?"

"Yes."

"The attic?"

"Yes."

"Nori's room, na no da?" Jun literally froze.

"Hm, no, not yet. Thank you, Marina."

"You're welcome, Shinku-onee-sama." Jun started silently panicking, which looked like he was having a fit. He hissed quickly to the doll in the room, "I did not bad-mouth Shinku, I bad-mouthed the puppet!" before he darted beneath Nori's bed. Kanaria sighed.

"Bad-mouthing KunKun is just like bad-mouthing Shinku, kashira," she muttered, not really to the boy. She walked to the door and opened it for Shinku, causing her younger sister to stumble into the room without a door to knock on. Shinku quickly composed herself and turned sharply to Kanaria. The doll jumped at how calm the blonde was acting, despite her anger at Jun's...words. Marina blinked, looking into the room.

"Where is he?" Shinku asked. Kana blinked, once again acting stupid.

"Who?" Shinku's right eye twitched, and she let out a deep breath.

"You should know, Kanaria." She suddenly grabbed Kanaria's clothes and, with every word, shook her, as she said threateningly, "Where. Is. Jun. Sa. Ku. Ra. Da?" Kanaria shook, visibly scared. She glanced over Shinku's shoulder, in such a way that the blonde didn't notice, and saw Jun peaking out, his glasses cracked and face pale. Kanaria actually felt sorry for the boy. She looked back into Shinku's piercing ice blue gaze. She was surprised she hadn't turned to ice right now.

"Shinku-onee-sama?" Shinku turned to Marina, who was standing in the doorway.

"Go downstairs, Marina. You shouldn't concern yourself with what will happen to Jun. Or Kanaria if she doesn't tell me where that lazy slack of a medium is. I know you know where he is," she hissed, pulling her sister closer to her face. There was a sudden gust of air as Jun raced out of the room behind the blonde. Shinku dropped the doll, and looked around in confusion. She narrowed her eyes in anger.

"JUN!"