Hi, this is my first fic in a long time.
I'm really sorry if the formatting is kind of weird...that's really just how I write. >. ;;;
Rated T because I really think you need to have a higher vocabulary to understand some of the phrasing.
So...enjoy!
I do not own Invader Zim
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The world existed in a pink wash this afternoon.
A pink wash of utter madness, and quickly descending DOOM!
But I'm getting slightly ahead of myself, or rather the story.
Prepare yourselves!
----------------------------Battle Cry
It was a normal day, filled with normalcy that comes in the form of cold stares, the horrendous screech of prodding laughter, and, of course, disgusting, flying cafeteria food. The status of society's mentality is overwhelmingly assuring.
Oh. the. humanity.
This pessimistic attitude enveloped more than just the general mood of most high-level intelligent beings. Another felt, feels the same.
He knows far more than the average human child, but not quite enough for him to succeed in most, any of his endeavors.
Zim sits in Ms. Bitters's class as he has for unproductive months, hell, unproductive years, and he stews.
He stews about this botched invasion. This wasted life.
My tallest are correct in penalizing my failures, Zim thought, focusing not upon the current lecture on the gestation period of Ecuadorian fighting crabs, but upon the aged abrasions on his desk top, but now I will work all the harder to have a truly successful and impressive invasion of these homo-sap-iens, with their smelly emotions and their ETERNAL INFERIORITY TO THE POWERS OF ZIM!
He immediately pulled out the insignificant human paper that contained his great plans of glory and honor. These humble pieces of loose leaf were barely substantial enough in awesome-ness to be even in the running for consideration of use for his magnificent, ultimate plan for the swift usurp of human kind's place on the Earth.
But, Gir had blown all of this week's human currency of tacos, and this was easier than actually finding paper worthy to hold his plans.
Zim grinned devilishly and thought that anyone would be hard-pressed to find a planning method worthy of this, his best solution to absolute dominance ever.
He became absorbed in his scheming, pink eyes growing bright behind the masking contact lenses, bright with a fervid insanity that had become familiar to him since the very first day of his smeethood. This was why he was an invader, for this feeling.
Oh, how the senseless quadrupeds displaced around him in their swamp of humanity would beg for mercy when the very realization of their destruction would dawn upon their feeble, pea-brained minds, all brought about by he. No, not beg, how they would wheedle upon him, how they would cry to the heavens of their plight, how they would lament and moan and scream-
Screaming, screaming, ringing, ringing of bells.
The bell had rung.
The bell that dismisses all of the Earthen stink-monkeys to the mass feeding known as lunch.
That bat-like female teacher-human was glaring at him expectantly.
Zim blinked, and then darted out of the empty classroom, heading toward the cafeteria with his plotting in tow.
Lunch began.
Just like lunch always begins.
The brainless student body milling about in their little groups of common interest, before sitting down and shoving all manner of germ-ridden Earth food down their ever-gaping throats into their insufficient stomachs.
Oh. the. humanity.
Zim looked about him at the caterwauling, prepubescent children.
Serious plots of destruction, like the one he was so delighted with now, were usually best left under wraps in the cafeteria room, for the very same yapping human spawn that surrounded him now always seemed to find a way to ruin his planning of plans in the worst possible turns of fate.
But perhaps one peek, just this once, wouldn't do any harm.
No! The risk was far too perilous in this human feeding trough.
But he was so eager to do just a little more planning, to once more immerse himself in that gratifying feeling of malevolence!
His gloved hands twitch in eagerness, and after a few more quick sideways glances, his hand slowly drew out the carefully laid series of actions, captured upon paper from their protective bag that had once only known a scant few school supplies and Earthling fast-food.
Here was his magnum opus, the one plan that would truly impress his tallest and grant him respect among the name of invaders.
His eyes glazed over with a feeling that might have been like an Earth mother's love as he took in the plans once more. The supremacy of this plan to all of his other failed ones was so great, so entirely all encompassing, that he could not help but feel that this plan truly was an act of genius and his one great-
"Hello Zim. Whatcha got there, a plan to destroy Earth?"
Zim's contacts unglazed as quickly as a drop of water disintegrating from thin air at an earthen mile distance from the sun, and his eyes were quickly squinted shut in suspicion and aggravation, for it was that who had interrupted his adoration of the plan, and ultimately himself.
The Dib-monkey.
The human who had plagued Zim every step of the way of his invasion stood before him in those ridiculous dark clothes, with his hair styled in that idiotic way that it had been since the Irken had seen the boy, all agrin because he had "caught-the-alien".
"Leave my presence Dib-filth. I am not in the mood for your cat-and-mouse shenanigans, nor do I have the time," Zim snapped coolly before turning back to his plans, shifting them from the sight of Dib.
"Okay."
"Not! Do you actually think I would leave you alone when you asked? I am not stupid Zim, I know you're up to something," Dib accused. "You keep saying that, and still no one believes you. What, are you afraid that this time my plans for your insignificant school companions will cut their frivolous little lives short?" Zim questioned, cocking an eye and mugging evilly. His Irken tongue longed to jerk out and lick his lips in contempt. But let's not get too cocky.
Dib scoffed, "Please, if I was ever worried about you destroying Earth, it was long ago and for the briefest of moments. You're too dense to even take over a grocery store, much less the world." And all the while the little gnat kept buzzing around Zim to catch a glimpse of his precious plan as if he were a fly.
A human fly.
That had a nice ring to it.
Zim shook his papers straight and, once again, moved them from Dib's sight line with a cool ease, "Even if this was the ultimate mother load of genius-ness that has ever graced my mighty mind that manifested itself into this plan, you would not be able to stop me human."
Okay, that was obviously a sign to act.
Dib knew that Zim's one true downfall would always be his unchanging opinion of his dominance, but this was a different kind of self-assurance exhibiting itself before him.
Dib actually thought he saw malice in Zim's eyes.
This plan was really something.
If he could not have it, research and find a way to reverse it, there was something else he could do that would slow down, if not bring the confident Irken's scheming to complete and utter halt.
He could destroy it.
Dib darted upon the table that Zim sat at, plunged his right hand into a passing girl's cream of artichoke-loaf, and flung it across the room into the back of an unsuspecting foot ball player's head, screeching the age-old battle cry of adolescents and teenagers alike:
"Food fight!"
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So end of chapter one.