At times, Newt Scamander felt that there was something wrong with him. It wasn't a physical ailment, such as a cut or broken bone, but the fact that he cared.
He cared and he felt too damn much.
He had noticed it after he was expelled from Hogwarts. All through his life, he had been the one who always stopped to help people, took care of injured creatures, cared about them. He had thought that was a good thing when he was younger.
Until it started to tear him apart. As he grew older, he noticed more. He noticed how many people were hurting. He noticed how many creatures were trafficked, beaten, left alone. There were countless victims.
And he wanted to help them, he did, and he tried. But he was only one person, and there was no way that one person could fix the whole world.
It drove him insane. He hid it well though, with a crooked smile and false cheerfulness. He let his animals consume his time, focusing all of his energy upon them. They were his distraction, as well as his best friends, family, children.
But even though he tried to help as many people and beasts as he could, some of them were lost, to death or other ends. These losses had destroyed him, rendered him motionless for days, silently cursing the fact that he felt so much.
But that girl. Oh god, that girl.
He had promised her that it would be okay. He had promised her that he would take care of her. That she would survive. Then her power overloaded her, and she died.
At that moment, Newt had promised himself that she was the last obscurus that would die because of him.
And now Credence was dead. MACUSA was standing to one end of the subway. Graves, who he now knew was Grindelwald, was standing there. Tina was looking at the spot where Credence last was.
Where Credence was. Was. As in past tense, not anymore. Another obscures, dead. All because the wasn't enough to stop it. He would be better off dead, that way he couldn't ruin anything ever again.
Suddenly, he wanted death. It would mean that his beasts would be alone, but he supposed that Tina and Queenie could take care of them. As for those two, they would be alright, they had each other and Jacob.
The magizoologist hated to leave them, but he could't do it anymore. All the emotions, the people, everything that he couldn't do, Credence's face before he died.
A plan was forming in his head. Yes, he thought, that would work.
He acted on impulse. Without thinking, he turned to Tina. "Take care of my creatures, please. So sorry." Sprinting over to Grindelwald, Newt saw her face, confusion and fear written all over it.
"Revelio!" As Graves' face melted away to reveal Grindelwald, Newt had already tackled him. There was chaos. MACUSA had gone into overdrive, Tina was screaming at Newt, asking him what he was doing.
Before anyone could reach them, Newt had apparated himself and Grindelwald to an alley, devoid of life except for a few mangy rats and a starving cat.
Newt grabbed the front of Grindelwald's coat. "Kill me."
Grindelwald looked blankly at Newt, trying to analyze the situation. The younger man collapsed with a sob.
"Please… Please kill me. I'm so done with everything, just- oh please!" Grindelwald felt a little sorry for the kid, he was considerably young but looked so hurt. He was sobbing on the ground, his small form shaking.
The emotions vanished from Grindelwald's mind, swept up in sadism.
"As you wish, kid. Avada Kedavra!"
Thank you.