Kiss Me, I'm Irish
Disclaimer: Not Mine
A/N – My St. Patrick's Day fic. AU. I know this would never happen on the show but a gal can dream!
JJ sighed despondently wishing for the hundredth time she had not decided to join the team for their annual St. Patty's Day celebration. While watching Reid drink green beer had initially been fun, watching Hotch get hit on by every barfly in DC was not.
"Why so glum, chum?" Garcia threw an arm across her shoulders.
"Unrequited love stinks, Pen."
Penelope's eyes widened. "Oh man. You're sloshed." She accused.
"Little bit." JJ concurred shaking her head. "He sucks; look at him sitting over there all adorable as those skanks continue to circle him." She flung a hand in Hotch's general direction.
Garcia giggled, unable to believe JJ had even said that much. She was well aware of her friend's infatuation with their hunky leader but JJ rarely spoke about it. "Let's get you some coffee Peaches." She steered her slightly inebriated friend towards the bar.
"Just make sure it has a shot of Bailey's in it." JJ mumbled, feeling both tired and sullen.
"What's with the long face?" Derek asked, having left the dance floor to join them at the bar.
JJ lifted her head from her coffee contemplation. "Derek, why are men stupid? Seriously why can they not see what's right in front of them? What am I doing wrong? Do I need to crawl up on your lap to make you notice me?"
Garcia laughed as Derek's expression changed from curiosity to 'holy shit she's not talking about me' as he listened to JJ ramble. "Not you specifically my Chocolate God, she's just using you as an example." She assured him.
Derek's expression changed from one of horror to righteous indignation. "Who's not noticing you pretty girl?" He wrapped his arm around JJ and squeezed and was glad he was sitting down when she rested her head on his shoulder and sighed out his boss's name. His eyes immediately met Pen's for confirmation. At her confirmative head nod he whistled low. "I definitely think you should crawl up on his lap. Just make sure I'm around when you do, okay?" He chuckled and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "That is something I definitely want to witness."
Across the bar Hotch watched the blonde inconspicuously. He frowned slightly when he watched Derek embrace her and kiss the top of her head.
"You know, instead of gazing at her from afar you could actually make a move, who knows, it might even be welcomed." Rossi informed him making him realize that he hadn't been as discreet as he imagined.
Hotch raised a brow then feigned ignorance. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"She looks cute tonight. I especially like the tee shirt." JJ had worn a snug fitting tee with 'Kiss Me, I'm Irish' emblazoned across the front. It inspired a lot of activity. Rossi had been the first to act, going all Don Corleone and kissing both of JJ's cheeks. Garcia almost imitated his actions but she followed up with air kisses. Reid gave her a courtly kiss on her hand that made her giggle. Morgan's flamboyant kiss that bent JJ backwards might have worried him had she not proclaimed loudly that he could use a mint. Emily, vacationing in DC, couldn't resist giving her friend a peck. Even Kevin blew the shapely blonde a kiss. Hotch was the only one that had managed to resist the lure.
Hotch lifted the beer he'd been nursing. "You and just about every other man in the bar." He said with a scowl. He doubted she had to pay for any of the drinks that had been delivered to her all night.
Rossi chuckled slightly at the other man's indignation. "You know, I've noticed that you haven't exactly suffered from loneliness this evening. You've had your share of activity."
Hotch glared at him. "Seemingly everyone in here knows I'm FBI, what did you do? Hand out business cards?"
"Buddy, they're not hitting on you because your FBI," He thought about it for half a second, "Okay maybe some of them are, but there are others that see an attractive single man sitting over here and think maybe that you're looking for the same thing they are." He slapped Hotch's back. "They are willing to risk entering the lion's den on the hope of finding that something special."
Hotch stared at him. "Wow. Maybe your next book should be poetry. Or the Mating Trends of the Single Female."
"Fuck you."
"You're not what I'm looking for either." He returned, his eyes already returning to find JJ at the bar.
"Why don't we head back to the table?" Morgan asked after JJ had a full cup of coffee in her. "Order some food."
"Okay." Her mood shifted from morose to sleepy.
He made eye contact with the bartender. "No more booze." He shrugged as if to say it wasn't on him if JJ had too much to drink and Derek set his badge on the bar to make sure he understood it would be his problem if she was served again.
"Probably a good idea." JJ agreed.
"Can you walk?" The question seemed ridiculous to ask, she was more groggy and sad than drunk but she had definitely hit a funk. The question caused its desired reaction.
JJ's head snapped up and her eyes came into focus. "Of course I can walk." Then she flushed. "Crap. I've been kind of a Debbie downer." She looked over at her friends. "I'm sorry you should have just put me in a cab and sent me home. You shouldn't have had to babysit and coddle me."
Derek grinned. "Are you kidding? Then I would have never found out about you having the hots for Hotch." His smile grew as she blanched.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." She hadn't realized she uttered his name out loud. For Pete's sake could this night get any worse?
"Don't worry, Babygirl, I'm not going to tell your secret." He waited for her to stand and slung his arm around her. "Just so we're clear, I am going to use it against you for all kind of devious purposes, but I won't squeal."
"Gee, you're a pal." JJ said dryly.
"Should I be worried that Derek has been both hugging and kissing you?" Emily asked, joining them on their way back to the table.
"We were thinking of doubling with you and Reid." JJ mocked, making reference to the fact that Emily had actually been able to get their resident genius out on the dance floor.
"Oh, well, alright then." She looked closely at her friend. "Hey, are you okay?"
"Too much liquid, not enough food and maybe a little too tired. Something's keeping our Babygirl up at night." Derek told her.
Emily slipped an arm around JJ's waist from the other side. "Or is it a someone?" She asked astutely.
Hotch watched them as they made their way to the table. JJ looked off. "What's wrong?" He stood up to greet them.
"Nothing really. I just over indulged." JJ said, embarrassed by the whole evening. "You know, maybe I should just…"
"Here you go, Peaches," Garcia announced, putting a tray in front of her that included a fresh cup of coffee, a water bottle, a cup of soup and a turkey sandwich.
"You haven't eaten?" Hotch growled, pulling out a chair and guiding her into it. "Half the damn bar has been sending you drinks. You know better than to drink on an empty stomach." He scolded.
Morgan and Garcia exchanged looks over the fact that Hotch had obviously been watching JJ if he was aware how many drinks were sent her way.
"Well it's not like I asked them to buy me drinks." JJ growled back.
"Really?" Hotch asked, looking pointedly at her shirt. "Because I wasn't aware that Jareau was Irish? And not many a man can resist an invitation like that."
"I always add an O and an apostrophe for St. Patty's day and you'd be surprised." She snarled, angry that the only man whose notice she wanted to attract with the shirt had not only been oblivious, he actually thought she welcomed the unwanted attention. "O'Jareau, it has a nice ring to it don't you think?"
They stood glaring at one another for a full minute before he recognized that she was slightly mortified to be a little tipsy and probably more than a little tired and hungry. His voice softened as he pushed the tray at her. "Just eat."
The table was silent for half a minute before Rossi turned to Garcia and asked, "Remind me why we're celebrating?"
"Duh, it's St. Patty's Day. Green beer." She gave him a curious look. "Do we need a reason?" The exuberant redhead responded, secretly planning her friend's wedding in her head. Because if the Boss Man wasn't as in to JJ as she was him she'd give up the color pink. As if!
"It's Saturday." Reid offered, raising his beer, completely ignorant to the undercurrents all around him.
"Emily is visiting." Morgan added, hugging the brunette to him.
Feeling like a response was necessary JJ lifted her head. "We're not traveling." She threw in, over a mouthful of soup. "I get to sleep in my own bed tonight."
"We should all be so lucky." Rossi said with a lascivious wink, sending a challenging look to his nonresponsive friend.
"Does that line actually work?" Emily wondered aloud.
"It does when he has a copy of his book sitting on the table beside him." Hotch mumbled under his breath, causing the team Dave included, to laugh.
"What's that saying," Dave asked, "Hate the game, not the player?" He glanced over at the bar where a couple of thirty something women were casting longing glances over at their assembly. "Watch and learn my friends."
Hotch shook his head as he watched the older man saunter away.
"How come you're not going with him?" Morgan asked, bringing his attention back to the table. "The little brunette over there has been giving you the eye for the last fifteen minutes. You need to get back in the game, man." He glanced over at JJ.
Embarrassed to have the attention on him Hotch growled back. "When's the last time you've been on a date, Morgan?"
"He's on one tonight." JJ scoffed then looked at him in surprise when his mouth dropped open. "You didn't know?"
He should have known, all the hugs, he had watched Morgan kiss the top of her head. He knew they were close he just didn't realize they had moved on to another level. Although that shouldn't have surprised him, JJ was smart and funny and beautiful, it stood to reason that she wouldn't stay single long. "How long have you been dating?" He choked out.
JJ stared back at him trying to make sense of what he was asking when it finally dawned on her that he thought she was dating Derek. She made a face. "Ew, Emily, not me."
"Sitting right here, JJ." Derek objected.
"No," She cried, laughing at the absurdity of it, "That's not what I meant." She slapped his arm. "Obviously you are beyond delicious, but you are dating one of my best friends."
Garcia giggled. "Nice save." Again, relishing in her boss's reaction when he thought JJ had been the one dating Derek.
"Why am I the last to know everything?" Hotch asked, glad that he could breathe again. Although it did now make sense as to why Emily was staying with Morgan during her visit.
"How could you not know?" JJ asked, the coffee and the food both working their magic on her previously befuddled brain.
Morgan just laughed. "I bet there are a lot of things that we don't know about each other." He tipped his drink at JJ as she narrowed her eyes at him.
"I didn't know." Reid admitted. "But it explains a lot." He looked at Emily. "He talks about you frequently."
"Wow, Reid, that's like the understatement of the decade." JJ half chuckled then caught a glimpse of the devilish expression that Morgan was giving her and quickly added, "Although it is very cute."
Garcia, the only one at the table that understood the byplay, snorted. "Sure it is."
"Why aren't you dating anyone, JJ?" Morgan questioned her as he kept his eyes on Hotch who he could see was avidly interested in her answer.
"Yeah," Emily asked, "Why aren't you dating? You could pretty much have your pick here tonight."
JJ played with her soup spoon and didn't make any eye contact as she gave a slight smile. "No, you'd be surprised; my pick's not really interested." She lifted her eyes briefly and then groaned as she watched Dave making his way back to their table with three barflies following him closely. "Incoming." She barely got the message out when their resident lothario arrived back at the table.
"These lovely ladies would like an introduction." He went around the table with his usual flare glossing over everyone but Hotch and Reid, the other two single men at the table. A fact that he must have shared with his groupies as they promptly seated themselves by the pair.
When Sheila, the blonde that seated herself by Hotch, placed her hand on his jean clad knee JJ had enough. "Excuse me." She stood quickly and made her way to the ladies room.
Hotch tracked her movement as he tried to recall what she said about her pick not being interested. Everyone that she'd made contact with throughout the night was interested and made no bones about letting her know it, even a few women. Except him, he was the only one that hadn't openly flirted or fawned over her. Could she be talking about him? He looked over and noticed Garcia staring at him intently.
"If you're thinking what I think you're thinking you're right."
It was all the reassurance he needed. He stood abruptly and strode away from the table.
JJ looked at her reflection in the mirror and wondered why she just couldn't let it go? Eight years was a really long time to harbor a crush for a man that didn't see her as anything but a coworker. She let out a heavy sigh, finished washing her hands, then dried them and left the ladies room. The hallway was dim. Great, there was a man leaning against the wall loitering. She gasped when he straightened and she realized that it was Hotch. She wondered if he had been waiting for her. His next words cleared that up.
"I was starting to think I was going to have to come in after you." He informed her.
As they had earlier his words aggravated her. "I'm not drunk. I was a little tipsy…"
"Who's the man that's not interested?" Hotch interrupted.
JJ frowned. "I'm sorry?"
He walked towards her. "You said your pick wasn't interested, I want to know which idiot in here's not interested in you. Because I've been watching you all night, there's been plenty of interest."
She looked around hoping for an interruption; it was a bar, where was the steady line of people needing to use the bathroom? "What did Morgan say to you?" JJ bit out.
"We're not talking about Morgan right now. I want to know who it is you think isn't interested in you."
JJ put a hand on her hip. "Well, there was only one man I wanted to take me up on this stupid shirt and you still haven't."
The words were barely out of her mouth when she was pressed up against him, his mouth taking possession of hers. She wasn't sure why but she always imagined he would kiss her softly, sweetly, maybe even reverently. There was nothing soft about this. He was fighting for dominance, taking ownership, staking a claim and she was letting him.
"You were talking about me." Hotch said, against her mouth. He still wanted that confirmation.
JJ smiled. "Yeah, I was."
He leaned back and looked down at her. "Is it too late to start this evening over?"
She shook her head. "I don't think we need to start it over, maybe we can just pick it up from here."
Hotch smiled. "Do we have to pick it up here though?"
JJ laughed. "Absolutely not, you should probably take me home, I've had way too much to drink and need to be put to bed."
He frowned, taking her literally. "I thought you said you felt fine."
JJ sighed and reached for his hand, linking her fingers with his. "I do, but don't take my word for it, take me home and find out for yourself." She led him out of the hallway back towards their table.
They were greeted by curious looks. "Uh, JJ's not feeling so great I'm going to take her home." He told the group as he helped her into her jacket.
"Oh, I was getting ready to leave myself I can give her a ride." Reid offered, standing up as well. "She's closer to me."
Morgan laughed out loud. "Yeah, but Hotch was going to tuck her in kid." He enjoyed the red hue that peaked on both of their cheeks.
"What?" Reid frowned at Morgan then turned to the couple in question, noticing for the first time their closeness. "Oh. OH!"
"And I'm pretty sure he wants to be the only one giving her a ride." Rossi intoned, causing a few snickers from the group.
Garcia cringed at the obvious embarrassment she was sure that JJ and Hotch were feeling. "Don't listen to them." She glared at the two mischief makers. If they ruined this they would suffer her wrath.
Morgan objected, "Hey, I was only teasing, Rossi was the one being crude."
Hotch threw his own jacket on before reaching down and taking JJ's hand in his own once more and shrugging. "That's okay for once you were both right." He remarked, stunning both of them into silence, before leading a laughing JJ out of the bar.
Thank you for reading!