That Feeling
Disclaimer: They all belong to the BIG C.C. a.k.a. Chris Carter, not me.
Spoilers: This takes place after the season finale.
Mulder and Scully looked deep into each other's eyes, starring breathlessly at every crinkle and fold on their faces, the way each other's lips curved up, happily for the other. Scully felt the strong, forceful way her partner gripped her waist and the way his hand clamped tight around her jaw line, holding what would forever be his. His eyes were glassy, squinting to see her in the dark, forbidding hallway. They were there together, for once and aloof from their surroundings; everything concentrated on that one moment. His head moved in, coming surprisingly close to her face and his neck bent down to reach her. He softly kissed her neck; taking his time and working his way up to her redden cheeks. He caressed her cheek in a circular motion and than brought her hand up to his face. This moment felt so strange for the girl that acted so tough, always having to prove her self. It felt strange to lower her defenses and give all of her self. But she knew deep down that this is what she wanted, this is what she deserved. A man that would do anything for her, and who truly loved her in the deepest way possible. Something that ran so deep, something quite possibly written in the stars.
Scully awoke from the dream in the sweaty sheets that clung to her body. The lights were off and all was quiet except her heart that pounded so fast, deep in her chest. She couldn't believe it, it was the same dream she had had the last three nights. She hadn't told Mulder before he had been abducted, and before she had found out about "it." It, she could laugh at thinking that, after all this is something she had wanted for a long time.
She reached for the cross that she thought would be there, but instead grabbed the nothingness off of her chest. The white, silk nightgown pressed firm against her as she got up from the unmade bed and put the coarse robe on tying it tight. The bed sank down under her weight and she sat back down. Soft, salty tears, one, two, three flowed down her cheeks and she decided to just close them from the world. The stupid world that she had always tried to figure out, with science and rules. Well, she cursed those rules now. She bent down and could feel the way her bosom pressed against her quivering legs. Her whole body seemed to quake, but she tried desperately to control herself, gather her composure. But she was tired of keeping everything in, sitting up strait and tall and pretending that nothing affected her. Her tears let out all the rage, the fear, and the tired feeling that consumed her.
Why? That's what she asked her self and that's what she asked the god that she claimed to believe in. Ever since the beginning when she had wandered into that office guided by her superiors to debunk him. Show them exactly what they wanted, that he was crazy and chasing after a lost dream. Who wouldn't think him crazy? Him, with that obsession that drove him on madly and which she had feared might kill him one day. But, she had done the opposite and, maybe even found her self-believing. He had made her question everything, he had challenged her and changed her and then asked her only to believe, to trust him. He was the only one she believed anymore. And now, how could he do that, she thought? Show her everything and then just leave her like that? Going out they're in the dark, solemn woods where the unknown lied. Then never to come back. Where was he? What would happen to him? Would he be broken, would be battered or worse, dead? How could she know if he was okay when she didn't know anything?
She began to feel the queasy knot twisting in her belie. The way there seemed like there was a giant whole in her stomach. She knew she would have to get up, and she knew the familiar sense of disgust. She pushed down on her stomach, bracing it up and hoping the feeling would subside, let her be.
But the phone rang in the midst of her thoughts and her hopelessness. She was tempted to not pick it up. Let it be. Let her life be. Then something she felt told her to pick it up and cradle the receiver. The voice on the other hand began to talk and she recognized the authority, the friend and the enemy.
"We found something." It spoke.
Her heart stopped when she heard the dial tone. She missed him; she missed him so bad.
~fin~