Disclaimer: I don't own, and will not own Bleach. Except in my imagination…
Author: CrazyLoveChild Me
Beta: The wonderful Hearii; GO READ HER STORIES!
Title: Diamond In The Rough
Rating: T
Pairing: Grimmjow Jaggerjack/ Ulquiorra Schiffer
Warnings: Language, Suggestion, Adult Humor, perhaps some Cross-Dressing
Summary: After watching the Disney Movie, Aladdin, Nnoitra and Syazel get back at Ulquiorra and Grimmjow for being so annoying.
Based and inspired on Teenager's prompt; lamp.
"That was a dumb movie."
"Even that statement is a stretch for you, Grimmjow. Wasn't it you who suggested movie-nights anyway?"
"Shut up, Ulquiorra," muttered Grimmjow, slumping into the white couch and crossing his arms moodily. "I wasn't the one who picked the movie, at least."To further his point he purposefully gave Noitra, who was sitting next to him, an intense glare.
Nnoitra threw his hands up into the air. "Hey," he defended angrily. "It said it had something to do with a thief and a princess. And since this was a human movie, it means the princess is hot."
Halibel huffed, disgusted at Nnoitra's indignant behavior. Oh, how the Espada have fallen. "She's an animated character, idiot." Nnoitra responded by smirking and waggling his tongue at her childishly. Again appalled, Halibel threw one of Aizen's new couch-cushions at him with a deadly aim and speed. Instead of it making contact, Ulquiorra intercepted and caught easily.
"These are Aizen-sama's cushions. They should not be tainted by the floor; or any of you."
Rolling his eyes, Stark leaned back into the comfortable loveseat and drifted back to sleep. He felt an argument in the horizon, something he definitely didn't want to involve himself in.
Grimmjow, still miffed from the awful movie choice, decided to vent out his anger on the one person who seemed most unaffected by the hour of crap: Ulquiorra. "So, since you are being the emotionless-black-hole-of-death as usual, what did you think of the movie? I'm sure we'd all love for you to grace us with your opinion."
Ulquiorra made a little inward sigh. When would Grimmjow stop talking to him? Can't he just…die somewhere? Honestly, it would benefit Aizen-sama to dispose of such morons. "Since it was made by trash, for trash, it was obviously something below even that." His answer was harsh enough to put any Disney fan to shame.
"Below what?"
"Trash, you idiot. He was saying that it is even below calling it garbage," reprimanded Syazel. He hated living with these idiots. He was almost tempted to tell Ulquiorra 'I feel your pain'. It was no wonder Ulquiorra was so anti-social.
Thinking back on the movie, he thought of how terribly cliché the plot was. Two exact opposites mysteriously meet in some random place, the one falls in love with the other in a moment, chase them, save their life, and then get married happily ever after. Whoever wrote it was genius, even if they were on crack. It was such experimentation, such a stretch from reality; almost, dare he say it, a discovery.
In turn this gave Syazel an idea – more of a challenge, really. Say if he could, hypothetically, bring someone anti-social together with a social butterfly…
Hypothetically, of course.
And, hypothetically again, say that those two people were Ulquiorra and Grimmjow…
After all, that should be interesting. Would they mellow each other out, or would they become mad with hate and kill each other in fury? This was too exciting an experiment for him to pass up.
But the only problem was he needed a situation to put them in. To force them together, roles to play, per say. Roles that they were somewhat familiar with, and would force the together if they resisted. Even he knew from a foreshadowed idea, resistance would be obvious.
Nnoitra looked over to Syazel, who seemed to be cackling unconsciously. Walking over, and avoiding the thrown objects passing through the air, he sat down beside Syazel to ask what he was possibly doing his Evil Laugh of Doom TM for.
Syazel, wanting an assistant, eagerly explained his idea to Nnoitra.
Grinning, Nnoitra agreed to help Syazel. If he did this, he could totally get any attention off of him and some time to molest Halibel during the chaos.
Walking into Syazel's Laboratory, Nnoitra was almost ready to admit he was disturbed. With a few severed heads here and there, the odd, creepy, empty-headed guys that Syazel used for replenishing his strength were roaming around and a whole wall was filled with surveillance television screens. Nnoitra didn't even know Syazel had his own surveillance system!
Syazel beckoned Nnoitra over to a large table situated in the middle of the room. With a quick flick of a switch on the side of the table, the desktop filled up with light and began to make a low hum.
Pulling out a blueprint from out of nowhere, Syazel unrolled it and laid it out onto the table, leaning over it. Nnoitra walked up to the table, standing across from Syazel, and leaned in as well.
He peered at the head of manipulative pink hair from over the blinding table. "So, what's the plan of action you got in mind anyways?"
Smirking, Syazel set out on his full explanation, whipping out a pencil for plan-formation.
"I want to make a very dangerous, but extremely hilarious, experiment. I want to make Ulquiorra and Grimmjow a couple. But I also want incorporate the human movie you picked out with it, just to make them suffer a bit more than they normally would."
Nnoitra, feeling as if he struck gold, smiled a pedophile-smile and leaned in some more. He watched Szayel's hand fly over the blueprint paper with excitement. "Keep talking…"
Author's Notes: Unfortunatly, this chapter is the only one of thise story, since I have no time until Augest 16, 17, 18-ish. Because of camp. SO pity me for not having my iPod or internet/computer for six weeks ;
Also, I just have to mention, again, that Hearii beta'd my story. I'd like to thank her uber much! GO READ HER STORIES. RAH!