Authors note:
So, I was talking to my sister about how my muses usually start throwing temper tantrums and demand that I write about them, then they get bored and leave before the story is finished and I'm left with the most momentous writers block in the universe...because as the current muse scampers off another takes its place and the process starts again. For instant the first fan-fic I started writing was for Supernatural, which centred around the whole Cas/Crowley partnership and Dean being all heroic...then my Cas and Dean muse ran off into the sunlight together and refused to come back.
Then I was startled to find Canada and Prussia both politely asking for me to write for them- but then Canada threw a bitch fit at Prussia and left me with a very angry and sexually frustrated Prussian who proceeded to drown his sorrows with Reno from FF7. And then Axel appeared with Roxas slung over his shoulder and demanded his 15 minutes of fame, and as Axel stole my chapter of my own story I just had to comply, especially as Roxy looked so cute in that angel outfit. Then Zexion quite casually told Axel that Cloud was looking for Roxas and they scarpered leaving me with a smug Zexion and an overly excited Demyx, who proceeded to down a bunch of Relentless with Zack...
My poor brain is still recovering from the resulting headache.
The point of this is that I decided to write a short drabble based upon what happens in my head with these characters as I write...so here it is.
~~~~Linebreak~~~~
(Isa is currently within her own mind amusedly watching as various characters amble about)
Isa: Well hello there my Lovelies, and how are we all today? (Isa frowns as Dean and Castiel turn their backs) Hmph! Screw you guys too! (Looks over to see Zack surround by a bunch of peeps) Urm? Guys...Why does Cloud look like he wants to kill Zack?
(Genesis is lounging in a huge squishy chair, he looks up from LOVELESS)
Genesis: (smirks) I believe the Puppy (Zack pouts) is telling stories about Cloud's cadet days (he says nonchalantly) Some of the stories are quite amusing actually, isn't that right Angeal?
(Angeal is snuggled in the coroner furiously cleaning his Buster sword)
Angeal: Huh? You say something Gen? Oh hi Isa! (waves)
Isa: (waves back) S'up Geal? Why are you cleaning the sword again?
Angeal: (glowers) Zack touched it...and then Seph' nicked it and ran Dante through, he said that my sword was bigger and better for killing annoying half breeds (Dante mock salutes)
((AN: Go to deviant art peeps! There is a picture of Seph' trying to skewer Dante – it made me lol!))
(Axel glances up from next to Zack)
Axel: (smirking) Heh, you guys all have massive swords coz you all have small di-
Isa and Zack's posse: AXEL! (Sephiroth suddenly appears flanked by Vincent Valentine and Tseng. Seph' is grinning wolfishly)
Sephiroth: Small dicks huh? Oh Axel you poor, poor boy. Those swords aren't overcompensating at all, (he winks) If you get my meaning (Axel blushes) It's advertising...
Axel: (blinks owlishly, his blush deepens) Roxy! Seph's being mean to me!
Roxas: (scoffs) Sure Axel, of course he is (Axel gasps in fake-hurt)
Axel: ISA! Make them stop being mean! (Isa rolls her eyes and goes to sit next to Cloud)
Isa: Hey Cloud, how's it going?
Cloud: Hn...
Isa: That good huh?
Cloud: ...
Isa: (sighs) I swear you and Squall are made for each other (Cloud smirks)
Cloud: Damn straight.
Squall: (growls) My name is Leon. And we're not together...
Isa: Sure, of course Leon. Whatever you say
Squall: Hn...
Isa: OMG! What on earth are you doing? (Zack, Reno, Demyx and Axel are now doing some kind of dance involving lots of hip movement)
Zack: Dancing obviously (Sticks his tongue out)
(A loud bang is heard; the boys stop dancing and everyone turns to look)
Prussia: S'up Bitches! Awesomeness has arrived! (Prussia's grin dims slightly) Err...You're meant to applaud. Mein Gott! Applaud!
(Genesis raises an eyebrow in some kind of amused glare/smirk thingy)
Genesis: Oh? If you don't mind me asking Mr. Awesome, just who the fuck are you? (Seph' sniggers and settles himself on Gen's lap)
Sephiroth: A good question Gen'
Isa: I was wondering when you'd show up Prussia, but I was expecting Canada (Isa blanches) Oh God! Does that mean England's coming? Oh no! (Isa curls up and starts whimpering) Oh no, oh no, oh no!
(Zack giggles and rushes over with Sora, grabbing Isa by her hands and pulling her to her feet)
Sora: Don't worry we'll save you!
Zack: (nods vehemently) Yeah! We won't let anyone upset you Isa! Or you'll never ever finish our stories like you promised! (shudders)
Sora: (Also shudders) Yeah, 'Ku'll get pissed if you don't write that lemon you promised...
Squall: Oi! If I hear you swear again I'll wash your mouth out with soap! (Squall glares) and if I catch you writing anything resembling porn Isa...Well it won't be pretty! Cloud? Back me up here!
Cloud: What he said (cowers from Squall's rather venomous glare)
Demyx: Squall used 'Glare'! It's super effective! (Chortles)
(Everyone except a sulking Prussia, Cloud and an angry Squall, laughs)
Angeal: (Sounding very responsible and mature) Back to the matter at hand, (addressing Prussia) just who are you?
Prussia: (puffing his chest out and glaring slightly) I am the one and only Prussia, the most awesome country ever, but you can call me Gilbert.
(Genesis howls with laughter, Zack cocks his head to the side)
Zack: well your name sucks (Prussia Growls) I mean it's as bad as poor Loz and Yazoo's names...They're just not as awesome as mine
(Loz starts crying and Yazoo just flips Zack the bird)
Isa: Now boys, play nice! And Prussia I have to agree, Gilbert does not inspire visions of awesomeness, but then Zack your name doesn't sound so awesome either
Zack: Hush your mouth! At least Zack sounds more heroic than Cloud! (Cloud yelps indignantly) Or Squall! (Squall glowers)
Squall: There is nothing wrong with my name, thank you very much. And FYI Leonhart sounds better than Fair!
(Isa face-palms, Seph' and Gen' are now getting all cosy together, Isa coughs and raises an eyebrow)
Isa: There are children present ya know! (Isa points and the younger members of the KH cast and Nero who looks incredibly uncomfortable)
Sephiroth: (smirking) Uh-huh, and the boys are totally innocent right? (He gestures at Axel who is stalking Roxas...again)
Reno; (sauntering up to where Isa is standing) Seph is right Isa, nothing in your mind is innocent (he laughs) I mean, we've all seen what you have planned for us, and I have to say (pauses dramatically) I like it!
(Angeal also goes over to Isa and takes her hand)
Angeal: Please don't write anything weird about me, like pairing me with Gen or Zack (makes a face) Gen's my best friend and Seph would run me through if I did anything with him, and Zack's like my little brother!
Isa: Oh don't worry Angeal; I have something better planned for you! (Angeal takes a step back, with a suspicious expression) No yaoi for you! I promise!
Angeal: Ok then...
(Zack is looking confused, Dante notices him staring)
Dante: What do you want Fair?
Zack: Ermm, are you guys related to Seph? (Dante starts laughing, Nero glares and Vergil sweatdrops)
Vergil and Nero: No! (Dante is still laughing)
Zack: But you all have white hair, and Seph has whitish/silver hair too!
(Isa face-palms)
Isa: Oh you poor Puppy, I promise you that they're not related to Seph! (Zack beams gratefully)
Dante: I bet Sephiroth wouldn't be impressed, (looks round to find Seph and Gen have gone and a strange man in green and leather has taken over Gen's space in the squishy chair) Hey, where did they go! And who are you! (Isa looks at the squishy chair and promptly grins with her patented Creepy-Stalker smile)
Isa: LOKI! (Glomps him)
(Everyone that still cares is startled by Isa's behaviour)
Everyone: Loki?
Loki: (pushing Isa off) Eugh human contact... (Sneers disdainfully)
(Isa suddenly shrieks)
Isa: OMG! I have to introduce you to Seph! You guys are perfect for each other!
Angeal: Somehow I don't see Gen liking that... (Zack nods solemnly)
Isa: Shush you or I will write a Zangeal lemon! I swear I will!
Angeal: (blanches) NO! Tell her not to Zack! (Zack looks thoughtful, then grins at Isa, 'Geal doesn't notice the shared grin) Isa listens to you Zack! Tell her!
Zack: (whines) But 'Geal ...don't you think it'd be fun? (Angeal launches into a lecture and both Zack and Isa turn their attention back to Loki)
Isa: So how's it hangin' Loki?
Loki: I am well, and yourself Isa?
Isa: Oh I'm fine, have you met these guys yet? (Gestures at the others)
Loki: (sarcastically) No obviously, otherwise they wouldn't be asking me who I am
Isa: (takes a deep breath) Alright people FRONT AND CENTRE! FALL IN! (The boys appear and line up) Ok then. The guy in black is Sephiroth, the guy in red is Genesis, then there's Angeal, Zack, Sora, Dante, Vergil, Nero, Yazoo, Prussia, and the two emo-bitches in the corner are not important...(Isa sticks her tongue out at their indignant squawk) Fine, that's Cloud (points at the blond) and the other is Squall
(Loki smiles coldly, Sephiroth returns an equally cold smile. Reno pouts)
Reno: Ya know you forgot me, Axel and lil' ol' Blondie. I'm almost offended (gestures dramatically) But I don't mind yo!
Isa: Loki, this loudmouth is Reno, Axel (Axel waves jauntily) and Roxas. Errm, Reno? What's with the 'yo'? (Reno shrugs) Whatever, so as I was saying, Loki you and Seph would be perfect with each other!
(Genesis growls, bares his teeth at Isa and glowers at Loki)
Genesis: (venomously) Oh, would they now? How so Isa?
(Seph laughs and hugs Genesis)
Sephiroth: Well Loki and I have the same mindset, we're both into world domination, but Gen I'm not interested in him, he's like...scrawny and his hair isn't as pretty as mine, or yours of course.
Isa: (relived) Nice save Sephy! (Sephiroth raises an eyebrow) I mean Sephirtoh...
(Loki glares whilst Genesis beams and swishes his hair)
Genesis: Damn straight
Loki: Grrr, there's nothing wrong with my hair, and I'm not scrawny!
Genesis: Sure you are, hell you're scrawnier than Axel!
Axel: Hey!
(Isa pouts feeling a little left out, but then smiles thinking about a new Hetalia lemon she could write)
Isa: (musing) So if I have Canada as a...no, that won't work, how about...no. AH-HA! I've got it! I'll have France terrify Canada and Prussia can be all heroically sweet! Oh I'm a genius!
(Isa notices that everyone has fallen silent and is now staring at her)
Zack: Are you ok Isa?
Prussia: Fuck yeah! Go ahead Isa. I'm totally hero material! And Birdie is sort-of-awesome so it's all cool with me!
Isa: (grins wolfishly) Uke or Seme?
Prussia: Seme obviously!
Zack: Huh?
Isa: Don't worry Puppy! Ask Angeal to tell you, he might even demonstrate for you
Angeal: NO! (Isa is smirking) You're a horrible woman...
Reno: Hey! Not cool 'Geal, not cool!
Demyx: Don't piss her off 'Geal! She'll never finish my story!
Axel: or mine
Reno: And she'll never finish chapter three of mine either, or finish writing that Cleon lemon she promised me.
(The boys look confused)
Genesis: (intrigued) Cleon?
Reno; It's Cloud and Leon's pairing (sees the blank looks) Leon is what Squally likes to be called (sticks his tongue out at Squall)
Nero: (whispering to Dante) What's a lemon? I thought it was a fruit...
Dante: (whispering back) Its porn, kid, good ol' sweaty man-porn
Nero: (blushes furiously) Oh...
Isa: You didn't know what lemons mean in the world of fanfiction? Oh you poor innocent boy! Even Sora isn't as innocent as you!
(Everyone kinda drifts apart and does their own thing, Seph and Gen sneak over to the corner and continue getting cosy, Cloud and Squall have kidnapped Sora and Roxas and are now lecturing their mini-counterparts on safe sex and the like, Reno has also kidnapped Axel and is filling his head with all kinds of perverted ideas. Zack is trying to persuade Angeal that they'd actually be hot together whilst Prussia has left to find his birdie and the Sparda boys have left with the Jenova boys in tow)
Isa: Well then I'll leave you guys then, (Sees that Demyx has been left on his own) Oh noes! My poor Nocturne! Demyx, why don't you come along with me and we'll talk about that little story I promised you eh?
Demyx: (perks up) Sure ok! Is it ok if I bring my sitar? It kinda draws Zexion out from wherever he's hiding
Isa: Sure thing.
(Isa and Demyx leave arm in arm and begin discussing ideas)
~~~~End~~~~
Authors note:
So here it is people, my first Ramble, so...Tell me if you like it and if you'd like to see more. Heh, you never know I might even get the boys to co-operate and update Fly Away or even finish my PruCan and Zemyx oneshots...