Author's notes: well, I was seriously upset when I wrote this and I wrote just the way I feel, adding a CCS twist. It's my first poem, (though it isn't much of a poem in terms of rhyming) so please don't be too harsh with the insults! Thankie! Please R+R!

Meilin's Sorrow

My soul is crushed, 'tis a tough blow; my heart stands frozen and numb.
He always used to be there on my birthdays, no matter how far apart.
He's always made it there on time. He always came with a smile.
A smile was all I wanted, but I have it no more; to his plain excuses my agonized ears are dumb.

Numb, ah, yes, the very word.
Numbness tortures my seething mind, and rips it quick and hard.
I'm numb on the very outside, but it's tough to hide my soul.
A tear trickles down my cheek as I sit there all alone.
Not uttering a word, I mouth a silent prayer of faith and hope to the Almighty good Lord.

I pray that he'll start to care, my best friend, my soul mate, my love.
And that my heart doesn't break, so fragile it seems now.
Loneliness seems to whip my bruised and breaking pride.
I've been rejected, I've been hurt, but never did I think,
That Li my dearest would look upon me as a mere object to be left alone, hurt and shoved.

Exams, he says, in his superior, sweet voice.
He doesn't know he's hurting me, and I can't quite see how.
It's like he's grown apart from me, these short months away from home.
He's turned so cold, so stony, leaving me a single choice:
Put up with this agony, or not let him hear the tears in my voice.

I shake my head and stare at the ceiling but the tears continue to fall.
My best friend is stolen now, by fate, so mocking, so sharp.
He doesn't seem to care at all and that's the bottom line.
Even though I won't say it to a single being, lately my soul's voice has gotten weary of talking to his barrier, his wall.

Intangible, aloof, that always was Li's nature.
But now it's worse, by a thousand fold.
His coldness and uncaring have become sheer torture.

I pray to God that I'll get through to him.
I know in my heart I can.
With an open mind, I vow to try, forget being rigid and prim!

I'll show him that I care,
I'll show him that I love him.
It will take courage, but I know I can.
I'll show him that no matter what, I'll always, forever be there.