AN: Okay, I have to admit, I've been toying with this idea for quite a long time. I've seen so many self inserts now, I thought I should have a go. That and, I wanted to get back into being able to write a first person story for when I finish last November's NaNoWriMo. But because of this, and because I would not know how to write myself into a fic for toffee, my 'self insert' isn't really myself. Buuut, since I've unofficially challenged myself to try every genre at least once, I figured I should do a self insert. So we have a character with a name and a background similar to mine but who actually isn't me. So instead of Lauren, you have Lara.

But yeah, the couple of chapters I've written of this so far have been quite fun to do. I'm definitely feeling more up to that rewrite of NaNo II. ^_^

Also I hate to swear in writing for some strange, unknown reason, so you'll see some interesting phrases. You'll see some interesting phrases anyway because of my weird writing style, but yeah... So please bear with the 3rd person-esque lapses...

But yeah, I hope you'll like it! ^_^

Disclaimer: I don't own ToS, but I do own the 'self insert' character.

I opened my eyes into the ultimate fog of confusion, the world around me a mess of blues and blacks and reds and purples. I thought I saw some green shapes above them but ignored them and closed my eyes again. What was the point in staying semi-awake when the world refused to make sense of itself? Sleep was much better. Granted, it didn't make much sense either, but at least that was what it was supposed to do.

Someone else, on the other hand, had other ideas of what I wanted.

"Look; she's waking up," a guy's voice floated around me. It was a nice voice, deep, velvety and soothing in a strange, baritone way.

Another voice joined the first, a rough hand shaking me out of my nice, possible sleep in the fog. "Hello? Hey, hello?"

I prised my eyes open again, the fog clearing away, my vision sharpening with each shake to my shoulder. And the world still didn't make any sense.

"Hello, can you tell me your name?" the second voice asked. I gawped up at the man kneeling next to me, leaning over me, his blue ponytail blocking out the sun, which shone in the sky behind his head.

"You have blue hair," I blurted out, my eyes most likely as wide as saucers (of the flying variety) as I stared at the cape wearing, blue-haired man in front of me. It had finally happened. I knew it; I'd actually gone insane. I'd never been the sanest of individuals, but I'd just taken it to whole new, dream-tastic levels.

Unless I was still dreaming. But then, dream people don't have rough hands, and you certainly don't feel them shake you, or the cold of their hands as they frown and check the temperature of your forehead while you maintain the stupid stare thing you've got going for you.

The man's green eyes narrowed as he retracted his hand. "Yes, my hair is blue," he responded. "You fancy telling me your name now?"

I blinked. He had blue hair, a definitive scowl and a cape.

He sighed. "She's clearly got a screw loose or some major problem with half-elves. You try."

He faded from my field of vision, a new, spiky haired figure taking his place. An auburn, spiky haired figure with a frown.

It was Kratos Aurion. In my insanity, I was having hallucinations of Kratos and Yuan from Tales of Symphonia. I would never live this down, assuming I ever lived through this at all. Most hallucinating people saw bright lights or haloes around people, or thought they were hearing the voice of God. I saw Kratos and Yuan. And they still both thought I was bonkers. Couldn't I at least have had some semblance of sanity in this artificial world?

"My name is Kratos," he said, patiently. "Would you like to tell me your name?"

I gaped up at him. Kratos Aurion looked back. So that was how his hair looked in three dimensions – I couldn't say the real world, but it was as close as I'd get to Kratos Aurion in the real world. Unless he was on paper or a cosplayer. My thoughts were wandering and he was still waiting for an answer.

He gave up on it. "Alright then," he accepted. "Can you tell me how you came to be just off the battlefield like that?"

Could I? Probably not. Would he accept, 'I've spent way to long staring at that flashing line on the laptop and I'm hallucinating about your existence and your 3D hair,' as an excuse? Probably not.

Truthfully, I barely remembered eating my dinner. I closed my eyes, furrowing my eyebrows in a bid to remember what I was doing before the mandatory 'You're insane!' hallucination had snatched me up.

The line on my blank Word document blinked up at me teasingly. I grimaced, tapping my fingers impatiently on the keys, chewing at my lip. It was so tempting, but no, I was doing coursework, not fanfiction, however much I wanted to – or at least, I would have been doing coursework, if my brain was actually working in an 'I-will-not-fail-at-life' kind of way.

I sighed. I tapped, I chewed. My stomach growled. I grimaced. I tapped. I decided I'd be so much happier if I got up, got myself a fresh glass of water and nabbed a cookie from the kitchen. I went with that plan.

Ah, beloved cookies, how I'd missed you. I took one, not bothering with a plate, instead balancing the cookie of top of my glass of water so I could flick the lights off as I clambered over the baby-gate that was still there to keep the dogs out of the living room. I plonked myself back in my chair, staring at the laptop that I'd balanced on the arm of it. In doing that, I'd only managed to waste five minutes.

And that blinking line was still mocking me.

I took a ferocious bite out of my cookie, wondering why I couldn't be a genius, and rich, and not have work to do for this particular subject. I came to the conclusion that life, sadly, wasn't some video game, however awesome that would be, and that I clearly wasn't going to get anything productive done tonight. I made an executive decision to switch off the laptop, pick up the manga next to it and retreat to my bedroom, where I threw myself onto the bed and began to read the starting speech of Tales of Symphonia yet again.

What? It was mildly educational; I was reading it in French.

The next thing I was aware of was the room darkening in front of my eyes and fading with my consciousness as I fell asleep.

That was why Kratos and Yuan were in my crazyland; I'd been reading about them. It made sense in a crazy kind of way, though I supposed anything could make sense in a crazy kind of way if you thought about it. However, I hadn't heard of procrastination-induced hallucinations before. It looked like I'd invented them. It didn't look like I'd get to go to the beach the next day though.

I let out a pitiful sigh before chewing on my lips anxiously, wondering how the heck I could get out of this and back on my bed so I could go catch some sun, eat some doughnuts and ice cream and get my backside handed to me at the arcade. I hated missing out on things when everyone else got to have a great time out there.

My eyes flickered open into a pair of frowns directed down at me.

"It doesn't seem like she's all there," Yuan commented. "That would explain how she ended up on the edge of the battlefield in her nightdress."

In my nightdress?

I sat myself bolt upright, Yuan having to jump back to avoid the direct collision of our skulls as Kratos remained perfectly still, his face just out of my way. I looked down to be met with the sight of my beloved sleepwear – a white nightdress that was actually short enough to be a T-shirt, was partially see-through and had threads hanging off it, my oldest one, especially for those nice, warm nights when Mum had had the heating on anyway and my room became a greenhouse. In other words, I discovered that while my brain could conjure up perfect illusions (or should that be delusions?) of Kratos and Yuan, it did not have the courtesy to put me in some actual clothes that I would allow myself to be seen in.

The illusions were both staring at me, Yuan like I'd grown another head (or maybe some clothes) and Kratos expectantly.

"Hello," the latter tried again, clearly assuming I hadn't been completely awake before.

"Hi," I squeaked, subconsciously attempting to cover up the areas I was most worried about showing should the parts of my attire be more see-through than I'd initially thought.

Kratos noticed my discomfort, turning to Yuan and beckoning to him as he suggested, "Give her your cape."

Yuan scowled but begrudgingly honoured the request, dropping the item heavily over my shoulders. I wrapped it around myself gratefully, shielding my body both from their view and the cold I hadn't released was that gripping.

As I happily snuggled in to the warm, cosy cape (my brain had made something right!), Kratos cleared his throat. "My name is Kratos Aurion," he repeated. "And my companion is Yuan Ka-Fai."

"I'm..." I began, deflating rapidly. Should I give them my real name? Or should I make one up? Why was I thinking about this? I could've called myself something ridiculous like 'Lampface' or something and it wouldn't have mattered. I was clearly insane.

But then, my name was one of the few things I definitely wasn't imagining. Unless I'd been insane all along, and that didn't bear thinking about. "I'm Lara," I decided, firmly.

Kratos nodded, his expression serious. I had the sudden urge to poke him to see if he was real, even though I knew he wasn't and my mind was only making things up to entertain my crazy impulses.

"And do you know how you came to be so close to the battlefield?"

I shook my head. "No," I answered, honestly. I knew where I had been before this whatever-this-was had happened, but I had no idea how I got from there to here. Crazy people were generally usually crazy. Weren't they? There were signs, surely. Someone would've noticed something off about me.

I mean, sure, they said I was crazy for actually eating that bread that got dropped in the vinegar, but they dared me to do it!

Yuan somehow managed to look unconvinced. Should I have made up some excuse? Spun some tale about being attacked or something? That I didn't know how I got here was one of the only things I did know, and I wasn't backing down! And that really didn't make much sense...

"I see," Kratos responded.

Well if he saw, I wanted to know what he saw. If he understood what was going on so much, I at least expected him to share that knowledge. I stared, hoping he was going to elaborate, maybe spout some theory of how I got here or at least that someone would say something to break the silence. But Kratos merely stared back in a staring contest I would never have stood a chance at winning.

Then he sighed, lifted a hand to rub at his temples and looked over at Yuan.

"Well, we can't just leave her here," he concluded.

"We can," Yuan argued. He had been one of my favourite characters of the game, mostly for the blue hair and cape, I'll admit, but still, I had liked him. I was liking him significantly less in this made-up reality.

Kratos sent a withering glare in his direction. Based on that, I was liking him and his 3D hair so much more. "Yuan..." he began.

Yuan made a slight 'tsk' noise. "No," he denied, shaking his head disapprovingly and folding his arms in the exact posture of his game self.

Kratos continued to fix him with a stony stare.

"Oh come on, Kratos," Yuan protested. "We don't have time for this. You know full well that town is a four hour walk in the direction we've just come from. Mithos and Martel are waiting for us; you know they'll think the worst if we don't show up." He shrugged off Kratos' visual objections, turning back to me and grabbing my shoulder to point behind Kratos' head. "Look, if you walk that way, you should start to see some houses in about three to four hours."

I couldn't even think of a response. Was I supposed to go along with them or should I go to the town and wait to become sane again? What were you supposed to do in this situation? Funnily enough, it wasn't something I'd ever considered before now.

Kratos was having no such problems. He was folding his arms now, wearing a frown identical to Yuan's. "I don't like this," he said harshly.

Yuan retorted, "Tough. You've got the facts. That's how it is. It's enough that we've taken her away from the outskirts of the battlefield and carried her here. You can't go playing knights anymore, Kratos."

"And you can't really have become so bitter that you can't help people when they need it," the auburn haired man responded. "How can we save the world when we can't even help those in front of us?"

Yuan groaned, his shoulders slumping as he realised he was beaten. I inwardly smiled, watching the exchange in front of me avidly. Not only would this determine which path this hallucination was going to take, but it was kind of like watching a show. I didn't belong here, so I didn't feel involved in this at all. I was just an observer, even if I was one whose bum was starting to feel damp from the grass that carpeted the little clearing we were in.

"It'll take us eight hours, Kratos," he moaned. "Eight hours. We won't meet Mithos and Martel until well into tomorrow. And Martel will worry."

"I know," Kratos replied with a small smirk. "That's why I think we should take her with us."

Go with them? Where were they even going? This wasn't the game I knew; how was I supposed to know if I should go with them or not?

"Take her with us?" Yuan spluttered. "That's insane! She'll slow us down."

"She'd slow us down more if we took her back to town," Kratos reasoned.

"It's a long journey," Yuan listed, "We have to go around the battlefields. It will be dangerous. Kratos, we don't even know where we could take her!"

"You said we can't take her back to town," Kratos argued. "With the war, she'll be in danger wherever she is, more so if we leave her here-"

"I meant dangerous for us," I heard Yuan mutter darkly under his breath.

"- and we'll reconvene with Martel and Mithos then we can drop her off in the nearest village," Kratos finished. "Now is there anything else or can we move out?"

Yuan sighed, awarding Kratos with a resigned look before shaking his head and standing, looking strangely naked without his cape now his posture wasn't hiding the lack of it. "Alright, we need to leave. She'll need a break so we'd better get started. I hope she's used to travelling."

He stalked over to a pair of packs and rummaged through it, appearing to check the stuff inside before my attention was switched to Kratos, who offered a hand to help me up, now standing himself. I took it, strangely surprised by how tall he was compared to me. But then, I'd never been particularly tall. I was supposedly average height for a woman, but in reality I was shorter than most of my friends, except the ones who were really short.

"Thanks," I said, prompting a nod from the tall swordsman in recognition.

I was going with them. I didn't know how long I would be with them, probably until my brain decided a change of scenery was necessary in this dream-like world, but I would get to tag along with half of the team who would save the original world. If I was lucky, I might even get to meet the other half before they decided to palm me off on the locals.

But either way, even if I didn't know where I was, what I was doing, where I was going, or even why all this was happening, it was sure to be an adventure. For a little while at least.

I watched Yuan huff impatiently as Kratos retrieved his pack, pulling Yuan's cape tighter around my body to block out the cold, taking a step in their direction. The damp grass prickled at my feet as I moved unsteadily towards them. They watched my progress with matching frowns on their faces.

"She doesn't have any shoes," Kratos observed.

Of course I didn't. I looked down at my cold, wet feet in distaste. This was going to be a long journey.

AN: And that's the end of the first chapter. Thanks for reading! ^_^

And as always, your reviews feed the author and are much appreciated even if they just say 'hi', and constructive criticism is equally welcome because I'm always up for improving my writing.

Until next chapter (hopefully),

~ThePurpleRose