"Why do they always make the girl so helpless?"

"Huh?"

You turn to look at Eridan, both of you with Laptops in hand, sitting on the floor. "I was wondering why in every story and movie, the girl's always the one standing on the sidelines while the "daring hero guy" goes off to fight the giant monster." You repeated, looking back at your screen. "Wwell maybe they think guys are bravver and better fighters?" he suggests. "Hey! None of these guys can say they've faced SGRUB and fucking made it out alive! Girls are tough!" Eridan chuckles. "I did only say maybe ya knoww." He sets his Laptop on the ground and you do the same with yours. "Givve me an example of a movvie." "The original Clash of the Titans? That princess or whatever the hell she was."

"That one's obvvious. Back then girls wweren't trained to fight an shit."

"They didn't have to leave her with the old guy though! She could've been, I dunno, a supportive cheerleader?"

"I don't think they had cheerleaders back then either."

"She could've stabbed the Kraken in the eye with a stick."

"Zer seriously wwhat the fuck do you givve about it? Are you tryin' to prove somefin?"

"I'm trying to prove the bullshit that's been spewed about girls throughout the years. It's unfair, and for once I'd like to see one of those damsels smack their knight in shining armor in the face and go fight that dragon themselves." You retort, crossing your arms. He doesn't respond, but he smiles and finds a way to grasp your hand. "I'd let you savve me any day Zer." You remain unimpressed. "Really? You just don't quit do you? Every conversation is a chance to flirt for you- you're probably not even fucking listening to me, let alone taking me seriously." He sighs, and slowly lets go of your hand, returning to his laptop. You can't help but glance over, and your expression softens when he looks the tiniest bit discouraged and sad. Placing your Laptop on your knees, you see that your friend Phiabi has been pestering you feverishly- you were talking to her before you started to chat with Eridan- but you ignored her. You send him a message.

~rebelliousTimeturner [RT] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] ~

RT: Were you really listening to me?

It takes a few moments, but he responds.

CA: yeah

RT: Sorry I said that about you.

CA: …I guess I'm sorry too

CA: for makin' it seem like I wwasn't listenin' to you

You smile the tiniest of smiles.

RT: Just so you know

RT: I would save you if you needed me to.

You glance over. He's grinning.

CA: thanks zer.

CA: I bet you'd make a fuck of a heroine

CA: bloww those otter posers right outta the wwater

RT: Maybe when I reach God Tier I'll think about it.

CA: noww that I think about it you'vve savved me before

CA: in extreme roleplayin'

CA: you're already kinda like my heroine eh zer?

RT: Fuck you.

But he can hear you laugh.

CA: hey I got a laugh outta you

CA: see I'm don't always flirt

CA: givve me some fuckin' credit

RT: I suppose.

RT: But you have yet to catch that I was subliminally trying to flirt with you.

Really, you were just trying to be nice. But the look he had on his face was priceless.

CA: reely

CA: zer you're not fuckin' around wwith me

RT: Nope.

RT: Give me some fucking credit.

Now both of you are laughing.

CA: you knoww you can be funny when you want to be

CA: maybe wwe could do somefin later?

CA: see a movvie or wwhatevver?

RT: Perhaps.

CA: cod wwhen will you stop being difficult?

RT: When you aren't a douchebag.

CA: Maybe wwhen I reach god tier I'll think about it

"Hey, only I'm supposed to do that." you say out loud, facing him. "Wwell I directed it back to you." he says smugly, a toothy grin on his face. "Wwater you gonna do about it?"

"I'll take that 'movvie' proposition."

"Cod don't mock me."

"I'll mock you if I fucking wwant to."

"Howw about wwe see that human movvie Star Wwars?"

"Fine but I'm paying."

"I'll get snacks."

"Wwhatevver."

You both burst out laughing after a moment of silence. On the way there he slips his hand into yours. You don't object.