Screw-Loose

Author's Foreword:

Well, boys and girls, here you go, the series my partner and I have been working on is finally posted! For the rest of them go check out Crescent-Moon-Demon's page (link in my profile) and read them ... What else are you gonna do? Buy a few Ick-Yaks from Swindle and teach them how to play the keyboard? Because I will want to join you …

Anyway, Screw-loose is basically our take on the way the transformers' doctor appointments would go (crack, yaoi, endoscopes, no Ick-Yaks). TFA universe.

We basically picked the names out of the bowl (we didn't have a hat) and eventually wrote these tiny appointments. Some of the material demanded a little more expansion so we have written a tiny bit extra as you will see. Also, we didn't do EVERY SINGLE character, why? Because we got other fanfics to write, that's why, plus, some of them are waaaaaaay too one dimensional to write anything about in the first place ... yes ... offense to TFA ...

Some of them will be named, some of them not, I hope you enjoy in either case. Here is the first one!

No Hard Feelings.

"Come in Mixmaster," Shockwave said with a heavy sigh, resting his helm on one of his arms, "what seems to be the problem?"

"Ehm, Shocky, eh, ya think …"

"I would very much prefer if you called me Shockwave, Mixmaster. Please, continue."

"Yeh, eh, so, a few days ago me and Scrapper were workin' on one of them space bridges, all was cool and all 'till, ehm. Hey Shocky, ya think ya could allow Scrappeh in here? Ya know, 'cus ..."

"Shockwave. Sure, why not," Shockwave said, "I dare hope it will speed up this disheartening examination."

The Decepticon doctor walked up to the door and asked the other construction to come in.

"Uh, hey buddy. How ya holdin' up?"

"Th-thanks Shocky!"

"So, Mixmaster, what happened? Please do hurry. I still have Lugnut and Blacharachnia to tend to." He decided to give it up. Primus! Those Constructicons were incorrigible! Always with their nicknames!

"Yeh, so like I was sayin'. Me and Scrappeh were workin' on that space bridge when the the Autobots attacked…"

"Hm, you did come in close contact with them a number of times I understand."

"Yeh, then after all that stuff happenin', that is when Scrappeh noticed it."

"I didn' know what that stuff was and it was small at first but …"

"Eh but like a few days ago it turned all red and got biggeh and stuff. Would ya mind lookin' at it Shocky? It gets real itchy sometimes!"

"All right," with another sigh, Shockwave grabbed some tools and approached the two, "lie down on the berth and let me take a look at it."

"Ehm, Shocky, it is in … ehm … my 'downstairs' area if ya catch my drift …"

"Where is it located? Is it on your …"

"IT'S IN BETWEEN MY LEGS, OK?" Mixmaster begun shying away, "Ya dun have to drag the info outta me ya know."

"Indeed. I am afraid your barely existent intellectual prowess and inadequately developed brain in combination with your meager education would provide the data over to anyone who so desires for it."

"'Ey! Wuzzat supposed ta mean?"

"Yo, Mix! Chill! The sooneh he looks at it, the sooneh we leave; the sooneh we get ta work and get the oil."

"Nye, all right," Mixmaster said after staring for a few seconds at Shockwave's lone optic, "Just help me out here Shocky, will ya? No hard feelings, right?"

"If you could please lie down on the berth," Shockwave looked at Scrapper, "Are you sure you want Scrapper to be present during these procedures?"

"Yeh, I do."

"Indeed. All right then, let us proceed."

Shockwave began expecting the constructicon's crotch and thighs.

"Indeed there is something here. Oh! I see it spreads on your aft plates too. If you would be kind enough to get up, turn around, now bend over …"

"Hey, Shocky, ya sure ya know what ya doin'?"

"I performed open processor surgery with my bare servos -I assure you, you have nothing to worry about, Mixmaster."

"Ya hear that Mix? He's good!"

"I still got shivers goin' up my back struts."

After a few more minutes of investigation the red formations on the constructicon's aft, Shockwave with another sigh approached his desk and accessed the console.

"So, eh, Shocky, what's up? It ain't nothin' serious, is it?"

"Oh, it …" Shockwave paused for a moment. You could see the gears and circuits inside his head moving for a second there. The whole atmosphere around the Decepticon changed as his lone optic malevolently glinted, "… it is challenging to tell for certain without closer inspection."

"Wh-whaddaya mean? Shocky ya scarin' me!"

The acting medical chief approached one of the many cabinets, opened the doors and took out a huge device. It had a very long and thick cable attached to it.

"Eh, what the slag is that?"

"This would be an endoscope," Shockwave stood there for a few seconds, unwrapping the cable.

"An endo-wha?"

"An endoscope, Mixmaster. I require further inspection to identify your malady and understand how to treat it."

"So what does it do? What's the big wire fo'?" Mixmaster was quickly getting more terrified with every second.

"Oh, there is no need to worry, it will only hurt a bit. You are a tough Decepticon, aren't you?"

"Thank Primus I do not possess visible mouth components," Shockwave thought to himself.

"B-b-b-but Shocky …"

"Would you rather have me perform the procedure with my servos?"

When he said that he put the endoscope on the table and extended his arms as close to Mixmaster's aft but still in his range of vision, spreading his sharp claws as wide as he could for the constructicon to witness their potency.

"N-n-no tha's all righ'! Do it with that endo-thingy." Mixmaster felt a little coolant leak in between his legs.

"As you wish," Shocwave picked up the endoscope and approached the constructicon, his red optic twinkling from excitement of what was to come. "If you would be kind enough to lie down on your side, we shall begin."

"Eh, Shocky? Eh, have you ever used that thing?"

"No hard feelings, right?" The Decepticon said with the biggest grin in his mind.

Meanwhile in the hall.

"Will you stop doing that?"

"Are you nervous too?"

"What do I have to be nervous about? I take care of my body!"

"But your organic half has a greater tendency to get sicknesses. Are you not afraid?"

"Three-face, I don't need you to care for me!"

"Even if you don't, if there is something wrong, Shockwave is probably the best out there. I heard he performs his treatment procedures with little to no pain …"

"AAAAAHHHHH!" the hellish scream from medbay had both Decepticons jumping up in surprise.

"… to the patient."

Author's Notes

There you have it! The first one! Hope you enjoyed it, as you see there are more.

In order to read the full series you WILL need to go to Crescent-Moon-Demon's profile, link is in my profile. GO READ THEM!

Thanks to C.M.D. for reviewing and editing.