A/N: Yes I know I haven't been in touch in WAY too long. And I'm sorry. But I don't even have a computer to work on right now. I'm hoping to get a laptop for my birthday in just less than two months. Hopefully that goes as planned, because I miss writing probably more than you miss reading my work. But anyway, this is just a little oneshot/songfic that I'm writing on my brother's computer while he's at work. If it sucks I'm not really surprised I'm writing this at 4:00 and he's gunna be back by 6:00 so I don't really have a lot of time to work on this. Sorry about not writing in so long, but I seem to have developed a crushing writer's block on top of things now…. But anyway, enjoy I guess. Hope I can update my other incomplete stories soon.
Disclaimer: Of course I don't own the characters or I would already have a laptop to work on these things… actually if I owned them I'd simply write another NOVEL and make some MONEY XD
The stage lights are bright, and I can hear my name being chanted as all my fans await my presence on the stage, under those bright, hot lights. I don't know why I bother anymore, really. I don't need the money; I have millions. I don't want the popularity; I have had enough of that. I don't particularly enjoy the performances; I'm bored with it. So I really don't know why I bother.
Could it be some kind of subconscious desire that they will notice me eventually, maybe? I don't know.
I step out into the lights, a big smile plastered to my over made up face. I know my eyes don't really math the joy. They don't care though. As long as I sound good, they don't care.
(Say Okay – Vanessa Hudgens)
You are fine
You are sweet
But I'm still a bit naïve
With my heart
When you're close
I don't breathe
I can't find the words to speak
I feel sparks
I don't think they'll ever even know. He didn't. Though I don't know why; that's supposed to be his thing. Always knowing when people are upset. I don't even know what to think anymore. Why would he leave too?
But I don't wanna be into you
If you're not lookin for true love
No I don't wanna start seeing you
If I can't be your only one
So tell me
When it's not alright
When it's not okay
Will you try to make me feel better
He always did
Will you say alright
Will you say okay
Will you stick with me through what ever
Or runaway
Say that it's gunna be alright
Say that it's gunna be okay
Say okay
When you call
I don't know
If I should pick up the phone
every time
I only wish I had the ability, the decision not to answer the phone when he called. No one left me that option. Not one of them. Not even him.
I'm not like all my friends
Who keep callin up the boys
I'm so shy
But I don't wanna be into you
If you don't treat me the right way
See I can only start seeing you
If you can make my heart feel safe
When it's not alright
When it's not okay
Will try to make me feel better
Will you say alright
Will you say okay
Will you stick with me through whatever
Or run away
Say that it's gunna be alright
That its gunna be okay
Don't run away
Don't run away
I want nothing more than to be able to ask him to stay. I want nothing more than to have him back. Even though he's not, and never will be, mine.
Let me know
If its gunna be you
Boy you got some things to prove
Let me know that you'll keep me safe
I don't want you to run away
So let me know that you'll call on time
Let me know that you'll help me shine
Will you wipe my tears away
Will you hold me close and say
When it's not alright
When it's not okay
Will try to make me feel better
Will you say alright
Will you say okay
Will you stick with me through whatever
Or run away
I want him to come home. I wonder if they know what I've been through. She should've seen it. She should have known every single, god forsaken thing I went through. So why wouldn't they come back? Why wouldn't they help me? Why wouldn't he come help me again?
Say that it's gunna be alright
That it's gunna be okay
Say okay
Don't run away
Say that it's gunna be alright
That it's gunna be okay
Don't run away
Will you say okay
Say that it's gunna be alright
That it's gunna be okay
The cheering is louder than most other concerts. I wonder why. Not that it matters, but for curiosity's sake. The lights are flashing, the crowd is screaming, the band is fixing a minor problem with a guitar, a stage hand brings me a bottle of water, I don't pump up the crowd.
I start the next song.
(When It All falls Apart – the Veronicas)
I'm having the day from hell,
It was all going so well
Before you came
And you told me you needed space,
With a kiss on the side my face
Not again
And not to mention
The tears I shed
But I should have kicked your
Ass instead
If he only knew what he left me to become, what he left me to deal with. Did he really think I would be safe?
I need intervention
Attention to stop temptation to scream
'cause baby
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
'cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
I don't have anyone left to turn to anymore. Not one person. Did they think I would be okay because he left? Did they think I would be okay because they could watch me if they needed to? Did they honestly think our past wouldn't catch up to me?
Don't know where I parked my car
Don't know who my real friends are
Anymore
I put my faith in you
What a stupid thing to do
When it rains it pours
And not to mention
I drank too much
I'm feeling hung over
And out of touch
I need intervention
Attention to stop temptation to scream
'cause baby
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
'cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
Can it be easier?
Can I just change my life?
'cause it just seems to go bad everytime
Will I be mending?
I don't know how to fix this. I don't know how to make my life bearable again. Vampires don't touch me; I'm too well protected for now. Humans don't come near me; they fear the vampires that keep me safe. It's a very lonely life.
Another one ending once again
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
'cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
'cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
'cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
When it all falls apart, No
When it all falls apart
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
I bow and head off the stage. Two song sets are shorter than usual, but I don't want to deal with anyone tonight.
"Angel? Your backstages are here. They are wait-"
"Give them a refund, free CD and t-shirt, a poster or two, I don't care. I don't want to deal with any little screaming fans today."
"But-" I glared, and he stopped talking and walking and went another direction.
I slammed the door to my dressing room open and stormed to my travel closet. I grabbed a short black leather micro mini skirt, a tight black corset top with neon pink laces and six inch black knee high stiletto boots. I quickly stripped out of my stage outfit and pulled on my other outfit, not wanting to spend any more time here than I had to. I want to go dance.
"Angel? You ready to go?" One of the stagehands poked his head into the room, "Jeff said to tell you that he's ready when you are."
"kape." I didn't even glance back to him as I did up the zippers on my boots. "He's out front?" the boy just nodded and took off, probably had a lot of his own work to do.
I strutted out to the front, the chauffeur opened the door of the limo and I crawled in, a real smile finally starting to make its way onto my face.
"You ready to get drunk, dance stupid and pass out in an expensive suite again tonight?" Jeff grinned as my eyes lit up at the mention of drinking and dancing. We almost always went out dancing after one of my concerts. Ah, that's the reason I'm still doing concerts. Free booze and lots of dancing till my feet ache and I don't remember where I am. I love that feeling; the complete exhilaration of knowing that you should care, but the freedom of not caring in the least.
"Hell yeah!"
My driver dropped us off at some random bar, I think Jeff planned this one, I'm not sure. I don't care either.
"Let's go sweetheart. I owe you booze and music, and here it is." He walked us up to the doors, his hand on my lower back. The bouncer didn't even hesitate, and just opened the doors for us without caring about I.D or anything like that.
"I'll be in the dance floor. I'll get a drink later." "Blow" by Kesha was on as we walked in. I pulled away from him and immediately headed towards the dance floor, towards a cute dark haired guy.
"Well hey there, darlin." I could feel his cool breath against my ear, his hands landed on my hips, his chest pressed against my back.
I turned my head to look at him, but he started kissing down the side of my throat. I sighed happily and went with whatever he was doing. I wrapped my hand in his shaggy hair and pulled his mouth to mine as my index finger on my other hand grabbed a hold of his belt loop.
I could feel another guy step in front of me and press himself to my body and I grin against the dark haired guy's mouth. I heard the music change to "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO and laughed. It was so perfect.
The guy in front of me had shaggy blond hair and was about the same height as the dark haired guy behind me. They were both taller than me. I arched into the hand that grabbed at my chest. I could feel the stings of the corset being pulled at. I took my hand away from the brunette's jeans and pushed my fingers through the blonde's hair and jerked his face closer to mine.
I heard him hiss as he pulled my bottom lip into his mouth. He released my lip, much to my disappointment, and asked, "Why don't we take this somewhere a little more… private? We could have so much fun with less between us." He placed kisses from behind my left ear, down across my left shoulder, while the brunette did the same on the other side.
"Yeah." I threw my head back, "Sure."
They both pulled away and started walking, obviously expecting me to follow; which of course I did.
They led me out into the parking lot, to a couple motor cycles. Who do you wanna ride with darlin?" The brunette asked as they both started their bikes. I hopped on behind him.
The blond handed a hundred dollar bill over to the brunette. "Shut up man." I just laughed as we took off with a roar. I didn't even have a drink yet. Hmh.
We sped down the highway and they pulled off on a dirt path that led up to a big two story house. I didn't have much time to admire the house with two guys kissing, nipping and sucking at my throat and shoulders and lips. The door slammed open and they started pulling clothes off of all of us, leaving a trail from the door. I don't know if the door even got shut. We collapsed into a bed in one of the rooms on the first floor.
I gasped as one of their chilled fingers started pleasuring me in ways I didn't think were possible. "Names?" I manage to get out.
"I'm peter, darlin." He nipped my lip, "And this here is Jazz." I froze, then jerked away and really looked at the blond.
"Jasper?" My eyes went wide, and I sat up on the bed. "What about Alice?
Jasper frowned, "Do I know you?"
"So much for perfect memories." I paused, "Bella. Ring a bell, by any chance?"
Peter laughed, "Holy shit this is Edward's little toy. Why in the hell did he leave a treasure like her?"
"Ugh. Don't even go there. I don't even want to think about that ass. Seriously, am I gunna have some super pissed off vampire pixie come after me hell bent on revenge if I have my way tonight?"
"No, we-" Jasper started
"Good enough." I threw myself onto him again, pulling myself as close to him as I could, Peter moved behind me. I could feel Jasper heighten the lust in the room, and everything turned into a blur of pale bodies, kissing and pleasure beyond belief.
They were both gone when I awoke in the morning.
A/N: So? It turned out WAY longer than I had been going for, and I got in trouble for not starting supper yet, so I hope you're all pleased lol. Anyway, that's the first almost lemon for me. I think I would have done a lemon if I had my own computer, but that's just something I don't want on my bros computer lol. Anyway, reviews are amazing :D