A/N: An old Haven fic (...obviously. :) )
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He'd actually managed to take a step away.
And then her voice, soft and mournful, "Why do I always go for the shy ones?" and he froze as a million thoughts sped through his mind.
She wasn't Audrey; he was with Jordan; he was in 1955 for Christ's sake, and if kissing Sarah Vernon wasn't doing something that would impact the space-time continuum, he didn't know what was. But she was vulnerable, and deeply alone in the core of her, just like Audrey (like Lucy? like all the incarnations before Sarah?) and Nathan wanted her to know he understood, that he wanted to do whatever was necessary to soothe that loneliness.
Except he had to get back to 2010 without damaging his reality - or what Audrey said was his reality - and kissing Sarah would not help that. At all.
Only...she wasn't just Sarah Vernon. She was, beneath the surface, the strong, compassionate, funny woman he knew - he knew her, somehow, in the heart of him; and no matter what she was called or the memories she had, he knew the woman underneath it all, and loved her just the same.
He turned to face her, to give Sarah some explanation. He didn't want to leave her feeling like he'd rejected her; like he didn't (love) want her. He simply couldn't do this to her because he had to go back to 2010, and leave her behind in 1955. He could resist her, because he had to resist her. It wasn't fair.
He met her eyes, and thought he was a good man, a better man, a stronger man than this, but he knew, even before he fell to his knees beside her, before he cupped her face and kissed her (her, not just Sarah or Lucy or Audrey, but the person she was beneath all of them), that he was lying.
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