Hey, so anyone that read my story Safe Haven, I did delete it because I've been away for a while and after much thought, I decided to publish this. It's along the same lines but this goes from series 3-5 and I'm going to change the ending to one which I'm sure we'd all prefer (Reddie, hint hint). This is a little like the fic If I Wrote You a Love Letter. I can't remember who it's by but it's a favourite of mine so if I remember, I'll tell you. Also, this fic is going to be very long so hold on there. I hope you enjoy :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Waterloo Road. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this

Eddie Lawson- Deputy Head and Mathematics teacher. About early 40s. Possibly a problem in terms of attitude, refuses to cooperate, but cares very much for teachers and students. Hard worker.

Grantly Budgen- Head of English. In 60s. Lazy, incompetent, sarcastic, and possibly the least enthusiastic member of staff. Needs to be involved more with the school, shall make note. Can be rude to both teachers and students. Review.

Stephanie Haydock- Head of Pastoral Care and French teacher. Late 40s maybe? Questionable as to whether she can speak French well, or even teach it. Not enthusiastic either, prone to gossip, and has a worrying eye for men. Good with the kids sometimes, is determined to help them succeed despite her failings. Has an adoptive daughter in school: Maxine. Review also.

Matt Wilding- Head of Music and Drama. 20s. A good, hardworking teacher but close friends with Steph? Evident gossip, can easily be led astray. Good teacher.

….

Tom Clarkson- English teacher. Early 40s, late 30s? Very good with the children, brilliant record, works hard, and receives outstanding results in the classroom. Possible promotion? Could be good for head of English or pastoral care. Has two children in school, Mika and Chlo. Unprofessional?

Jasmine Koreshi- An NQT English teacher. 20s. Hard working, eager to please, a little too eager. Strong opinions, steady character, overall fairly pleasing.

Davina Shackleton- Teaching Assistant. 30s. Mainly cares for Karla, has plenty of potential, eager to please. Could train to be a teacher if wanted, would be good candidate. Rumours of potential relationship with Tom. Works frequently with him, may be unprofessional. Review later.

…..

Bridget Morley- School Secretary and School Bursar. 40s. Pleasant, welcoming, good secretary, valuable skills. No issue there.

…..

Candice Smilie- Senior Canteen Assistant. 40s. Works well and fast. All food is provided healthy. Quick judger, loud, has a way with the kids, keeps them in line at lunch. Son in the school, Bolton Smilie. Not questionable as she does not see him within working hours unless necessary.

Lewis Seddon- Canteen Assistant. 18 years old. Has a questionable past, works hard, keeps himself quiet. Dating Maxine Barlow. Good idea? Review.

17th November 2007

Dear Eddie,

If someone asked what had possessed me to write this then I wouldn't be able to formulate a coherent answer. You see, I am not entirely sure myself. I haven't known you very long. A week, in fact, and the truth is that you are driving me crazy. These past five days have been fuelled by petty arguments and irritation. In all my professional years, I have never known anyone like you. You are stubborn, resilient, and downright annoying, but I know there is more to you. There must be.

Jasmine Koreshi and Tom Clarkson are two perfect examples of respectable members of staff, and they regard you in the highest esteem. Most members of staff do, despite you not being here very long. So, there must be something I'm missing.

I am highly aware that you care about this school. Waterloo Road seems to mean as much to you as it does to me. Odd, considering neither of us have been here very long. It's endearing to say the least. At times, I almost fall for it when you protest strongly against my recommendations because you care so deeply. Then you give me that all so familiar glare and your mouth downturns in a horrible way, reminding me that we don't get along at all. There hasn't been one conversation yet where we can agree, where we can find common ground. I want to. Every time we have our enigmatic debates, I want to believe it will end in peace rather than another silly disagreement. I want to believe we will become a strong force of nature. The dream team.

Either way, I can't help but become increasingly frustrated with you. Do you remember my first day? You must do. Firstly, I should like to apologise on behalf of not only myself but for Rhea Cheetham. I know for a fact that your hostility grew from your competitiveness. You wanted that headship and I can't blame you. So, I suppose I wasn't a welcoming sight when you entered the office, thinking you had a whole day of playing boss to do. Miss Cheetham had stopped your chance at progressing in your career and so had I. So naturally, I understand why you were a little irritated at my being there.

But then you had to ruin it. I had heard so many great things about you. I even mentioned that when we shook hands. You just stared at me in that grumpy manner so well-known to me now and said nothing. I had been told about your previous teaching assignments, about all the good things you had done for the schools and the students, about the wonderful and talented mathematician you are. I didn't see any of that on the first day. I didn't see the amazing Mr Lawson that I had heard so much about. Rhea told me you were kind, caring, funny, and a man of integrity above all. You were the perfect teacher, she assured me. Honestly, I did not see that side of you on the first day. I know I'm partly to blame for that. You made a good sparring partner nevertheless.

To make it worse, you questioned my ideas and plans, accusing me of being a fleeting mark on Waterloo Road, unable to fulfil what I had planned. Of course you are going to doubt me, that is only natural. We don't know each other. I just wish you'd trust me more. When you asked about my plans, I could see the way you flinched when I told you, the way you stood up straighter as if to be intimidating instead of hurt. Trust me when I say making these changes will be good for the school. I wasn't labelled a 'Super Head' for the sake of it. In fact, I'd like to think I earned that name through my own hard work. A new curriculum is needed. Sure, you don't agree but think hard about it. A business and enterprise status! Vocational courses, specialist staff, a new I.T. infrastructure, dedicated facilities, and a new extended school. Why can't you see it the way I do? You asked about money as if it would catch me off guard. Everything had been carefully planned for weeks, ever since Jack Rimmer had left. They had phoned me immediately after his resignation. I didn't take the job to sit back and enjoy it. I had always planned to hit the ground running, knowing it would upset some staff, and even pupils. Being a senior member of staff, I thought you would have been more enthusiastic about it. All you did was accuse me of not knowing the kids well enough. It did hurt a little, even as I came across as quite curt.

'We have no one to teach it'; 'the kids won't want to be taught numpty courses' and my favourite 'I suppose it isn't hard to teach kids how to carry a rucksack'. I have to say you put up a spirited defence and I quite enjoyed it. Nobody has given me a run for my money in a long time. You then sarcastically applauded me on knowing the children in the school with all my 'ten minutes experience'. If only you'd believed me when I said I was a fast learner. And I'm learning fast about you.

It probably didn't help that I removed all of your belongings from the office, dumping them in a black bag. After having that unpleasant conversation with you, it was a nice feeling to do that to you. A little rude and unprofessional of me but it felt good at the time.

Also, when you assured me you would deal with Mr Budgen in terms of him being caught gambling on school computers, I didn't refuse you that because I didn't trust you. I did it because I wanted to prove I was good at something. I'd only arrived and I was still trying to figure out the staff, who were fine and who needed to be kept an eye on. Grantly was one of those teachers. I think I did scare him a little, however, when we had our meeting. He had sauntered in, evidently displeased at being called away in the first place. I stated the fact that he was not an enthusiastic member of staff, which even you can agree is correct. He promptly responded that I 'had it in for him'. Not particularly true, but I will keep him on close watch. After I told him I didn't approve of his attitude, he started to leave, claiming it was the end of the conversation. I didn't let him go just then. There was still his issue of gambling. He tried to lie his way out of it but I stopped him, taking out a copy of the school teacher's log in accounts, added with a note of the websites he visited. He was shocked to be sure. He did have two warnings from there. One from you, which had been his verbal from earlier, and one from me. Just to keep him in check, I told him I would probably find a third by the end of the week, even if I had to make it up. The look on his face was priceless. Safe to say, he has been fairly amiable with me since.

Then there were our little arguments. You followed me into my office after I grilled Steph Haydock, telling me you'd seen enough. If only you knew what I had in store. I was given a job to do, one to assess the school and its staff. I cannot have lazy, incompetent professionals on my management team or even at all. Surely you should agree with that. When you couldn't win the argument, you warned me that I should know what I'm doing. Believe me, I do. I am absolutely confident in what I am doing.

'You're doing all this bum up the backside stuff as if it means something to you. You're an associate Head. You'll be gone in six months."

I could see how much I had upset you. I could also see how much you wanted me to be gone, not in six months but right then.

I briefly mentioned that I had dated a maths teacher once and he was dull. I mean, you are hardly dull. You've been keeping me on edge since I got here and you're exceedingly hardworking and dedicated to your job. You made a dig in response, something about my failing as a head teacher. It isn't my system, I had pointed out to you. You told me even so, it suited me pretty well. That caused a reaction in me, something I usually try to avoid. It seems a little funny now that of all things I could have called you; a dinosaur seemed a little strange. The word fit you pretty well, to be honest. The teaching system you believed in was prehistoric and was what made Waterloo Road fail in the first place. It is my job to fix that, you seem to forget. I must apologise, however, for saying there was no wonder why you weren't offered Jack Rimmer's job. Of course, a week later I can see you are perfectly suited to a headship, even if you don't agree with my conditions. You followed me to remind me I had only been there a day and I had managed to upset staff already, something I had been prepared for. Last of all, I told you I will give my all to this school, no matter how long I stay. And I mean it, Eddie. You can quote me on that. There is nothing I wouldn't do for any school I work at. That is why I became a teacher in the first place.

Grantly had then appeared, apologising for his misconduct. He had surprised you and me. To make sure you had the last word, you asked if I was involved in dark magic to receive an apology off Grantly. Honestly, I did not think much of you after that day.

Now I've been here for a full week, I would like to think I have seen your integrity and that you are kind and caring, perhaps not to me, but to everyone else. I haven't seen the funny side of you yet. I should like to think that I will see it at some point. You can't stay miserable forever.

In all honesty, I don't know where I'm going with this letter. I don't know what it was for. All of these things could be said to you in person, to the real Eddie. Yet, I know these words are not meant to be said aloud. I'm not quite ready to express these thoughts so perhaps writing them down is the best option for me. For now, that seems best.

I suppose I should apologise also for the things I said to you, although I'm not particularly that sorry at all. I'm sorry I hinted you were dull, even though, I do slightly believe it to be true. I'm sorry I undermined you and did not believe in your professional abilities. I do believe that I was proven wrong on that and so, I am sorry. I really do hope we will get along in the future. There is nothing I want more. It seems a little strange that I wrote a letter to a man, considering it isn't a love letter or anything of that sort.

So, this will be my only letter to you. I can't see why I should write another, unless you manage to really anger me but I think we're getting there. I can't see that happening now.

Sincerely,

Rachel

Rachel sat back in her leather chair; a little embarrassed she had written the letter at all. She had a journal with her, a plain black one that should be used for work. Since purchasing it, there was hardly anything in there, apart from brief notes on several occasions.

With the clock ticking by and the precarious amount of paperwork that needed doing, Rachel had been uncharacteristically distracted by a certain someone. Eddie Lawson was not a man she was attracted to, nor did she think she ever would be, but she thought about him a lot. She couldn't help but wonder what she had to do to please him so they could make a better team. It was not a known quality of hers for wanting to please staff, yet it made sense to her that Eddie and she had a healthy working relationship, something that had not yet occurred.

Looking down at her letter, she closed the journal hastily, leaving it in the top drawer. It was something she never wanted him to see, nor anyone else for that matter. He humiliated her enough without needing to add extra reason. As if on cue, Eddie stormed into the office, papers in hand.

"Blake Chapman," he declared darkly. "Thrown another table across the room. Sent him to the cooler but he's having none of it. He was calling me all sorts of names."

Rachel glanced down at the papers, silently questioning if they were for her.

"Oh." He looked at them. "These are for Steph, nothing to worry about."

Rachel stood up, her hands running along her skirt as she often did. "Right, well, I will go deal with Blake. Do you want to come with me?"

He thought about it for a moment, slightly conflicted. "No, I should give these to Steph but I'll be there as soon as I have."

She nodded, leaving her office with him close behind. They said nothing and soon he turned down another corridor to Steph's office. Rachel had found she sometimes enjoyed his presence; he had a certain air of authority about him. She had only started to appreciate that. Stopping outside the cooler, she could see Blake sitting with his head in his hands. He had been a particularly hard student to deal with recently. Nobody knew what the matter was. Blake could never be known as a high-flyer, nor was he always well behaved, but his recent behaviour definitely exceeded his usual cheeky comment and late homework. Rachel stepped into the room, almost holding her breath. She wasn't sure how to deal with him. Blake looked up at her, rolling his eyes.

"Mr Lawson couldn't handle me then, miss?" he sneered.

"Mr Lawson is busy elsewhere. I, however, am not."

Blake sat back, evidently deciding how he could proceed from there. Rachel reasoned he didn't know her well enough to make a reasonable assumption at how she would react to his behaviour.

"What did you do wrong?" she asked, giving him the benefit of the doubt.

"I ain't done nothing, miss, I swear. It was Mr Lawson. He was being well rude to me."

"So you knocked a table over."

"No, I didn't do that."

She hadn't seen Eddie's class. Then again, neither had Blake for the past ten minutes.

"Well, that's funny, because I spoke to your class and they seem to all think you did it. In fact, they know you did. Why don't you be honest with me, hm?"

Blake didn't seem to take that well. "What part of I didn't do it, don't you understand?"

Rachel stood up, sighing heavily. "The part I don't understand is your complete and utter disregard for the school rules, and your lack of respect for teachers and your fellow classmates."

Blake rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

She obviously wasn't going to break through to him just yet. Deciding to personally read his file and speak to Steph, she moved to the door, stopping as her hand touched the handle.

"You can stay in here until lunchtime. Think about what you've done. If you don't, I'm afraid you'll be missing out on lunch."

"What?" Blake slammed his hands on the desk. "You can't do that."

"I'm afraid I can." As she stepped out of the cooler, she noticed Jasmine walking past with a folder. "Oh, Jasmine," she called, "Do you mind?"

Jasmine rushed over quickly, eager to impress the new head teacher.

"Yes?"

"I was wondering if you would mind sitting with Blake Chapman. Only until the end of the period. I don't know who is meant to be in there now but they will most definitely hear from me."

"Sure," Jasmine nodded.

Rachel watched her sit down at the desk before she made her way back to the office. On her way, she bumped into Eddie, who she guessed was looking for her.

"I was on my way to the cooler," he explained.

"I know. I left Jasmine in there for the moment. According to him, he didn't do it. So I left him in there, maybe even over lunch if he doesn't admit to it. This kind of behaviour needs to stop. Perhaps I can contact his parents."

Eddie followed her down the corridor. "It won't be much help right now. I spoke to Steph about him just. He was taken off his mother a couple of months ago and is living in care at the moment."

"Oh." Rachel halted, frowning up at him. "Well, that will explain his current behaviour, wouldn't it? Surely Steph thought to say something."

"Evidently not," he grumbled.

"Right, then I'll make an exception this time. We should really figure out the best strategy to help him. Steph should have done that. She's head of pastoral care, for goodness' sake."

As they entered the office, the bell rang. Eddie looked out of the window over the playground. "I should be going. I have duty."

"Of course," she nodded. "I'll see you later then."

"I suppose."

He stared at her for a moment. She was unsure of what he was thinking but before she managed to ask, he had left the office. Rachel watched him go; a little disappointed he had to leave. Turning, she sat down at her desk, calling through to Bridget. She needed to speak to Steph about another error she'd made.