A/N: Well, this is the add a line: NCIS style story, me and some others created on the NCIS Fan wiki. I wanna thank everyone who has been a part of this: #1hotchfan, Sorgiña, NCISlover161, Ziva.and.Abby.Rock, silmann13, ShutterBugg, pmw1, Hoorooblue, MargyW, Scorpio-lay, Gibbs'Understudy, Abbiefan1 and xzivadavidx.. Thanks once again to silmann13 for the title of the story :D

I know it's a little messy and some of the lines have no connection to each other, but what do you expect when you're so many people to make this :D

Enough about that, here's the story

The NCIS Chronicles: Madness at NCIS

Gibbs walked into the squad room to find...
Tony clipping his toe nails, Ziva sharpening her knife and McGee...
Observed them thinking about how to ...
Get them together without...
Alerting Gibbs and drawing attention to rule #12, then it came to him he would...
Enlist Abby's help because he knew Gibbs ...
Would never suspect Abby to be the one ...
So together McGee and Abs began to ...
plan how they were going to get Tony and Ziva together without...
Gibbs realising what was afoot, but Gibbs being Gibbs ...
and he would never suspect Abby to have anything to do with it ...
however, when McGee went to the lab, Abby was...
talking excitedly to Gibbs and ...
McGee froze in horror, his mouth wide open as Gibbs said...
Good thinking Abs. Hope they will get together soon...
Gibbs continued "They make a cute couple and the puppies should be...
really easy to place" turning to McGee ...
he raised his eyebrows and said...
'something bothering you McGee?' ...
McGee swallowed nervously, "No boss, I just didn't expect to...
'Didn't expect what McGee?' ...
'Ummm, for you to be here. I errrr thought that...
'Spit it out McGee!, You thought what?...
That Abby would be alone. I errrr need to...
'Need to what McGee? The head's in the other direction..'
'I need to discuss something important with Abby, boss...
'Well, McGee?! ...
'Ummm, it's kinda personal, boss." Gibbs snorted, "I'm sure Abby's not interested in your...
'Giiiibbbsss!! You're not helping...
"I'm not interested in helping, McGee. If you want to chat up Abby do it...
'Oh, erm, on it Boss. Erm, Abby...
Abby hid a grin as she turned to McGee. Gibbs was still in the lab. McGee looked around...
'McGee! We haven't got all day! I need you...
Go and get Tony and Ziva, oh and McGee, you can just forget about...
Oh, erm, sorry boss. Erm, Abby I'll ...
As McGee hurried back out of the lab, Gibbs whacked him across the head, "That will teach you to...
'Waste my time and Abby's. And one more thing, McGee, never apologise, it's...
A sign of weakness. McGee quickly rushes to the elevator and as he rounds the corner...
Crash! 'Damn Probie! You've just ruined my Armani...'
McGee gazed in horror as cream dripped off Tony's...
Limited edition Armani silk tie, while Ziva...
could hardly contain her laughter at the expression on Tony's face as he...
tried to wipe off the dripping cream using...
McGee's tie. McGee tried not to choke as his tie slowly throttled him. Laughing, Ziva said...
'Ha! ha! I didn't know you and McGee were a unit Tony...


'Ziva..you know we're not..' 'I know McGee now Tony about that e-mail you sent me?'...
'Which one was that Zee-Vah? And it's item not unit Zee-Vah!
"You know... the one about"...
wanting to plan a surprise dinner for Gibbs - he has been so depressed since Director Shepard.. you know..
'Dammit! Zee-Vah! Lower your voice would you...Aha! Hi Gibbs, I was...
uh...just explaining to Ziva and the McGeek, uh...that uh...
'DiNozzo!' (headslap) ' ow! shutting up boss..
Tony rubbed the back of his head and said...
Oh, c'mon boss! I just...Gibbs gave him the glare...DiNozzo! You have 5 seconds to get cleaned up and get your ass back right here, or ...
On it boss. Jeez! somebody steal his coffee or somethin'?
'Another crack like that DiNozzo and you're going to be...
on desk duty for a week, is that clear...
"Yes boss." Tony sighed. "At least he didn't threaten me with...
target practice on my new cap..
"If I shoot at you, DiNozzo, it won't be your cap I aim at. Got it?"
Yeah boss! Shutting up Boss. Jeez!!
Gibbs grinned as he turned away, Tony hastened to follow him as Ziva said...
There goes the boss' domestic mascot...
McGee grinned, "I think you mean house pet, Ziva. I hope he's housebroken...
Yeah! Otherwise there's going to be one helluva a hissing contest...
"Must cost Gibbs a heck of a lot for kitty litter," McGee observed gleefully. Gibbs turned to him...
Did you just say something McGee?!
"Noooo Boss." "Just as well. Otherwise you get to clean the litter-tray."
Oh, erm u-u-u-u-u-understood Boss
Abby came racing out of the lab towards them, "Gibbs! Gibbs! I've found...
What Abs?
"Something really hinky, GIbbs. You'd better come and see."
Good girl Abs (kisses her cheek), glad to see somebody around here is workin'..
Gibbs headed back to the lab, the others following. As he passed Abby, Tony said...
good girl Abs and kisses?....why suddenly he's being nice to her...but me he's whacking on the head the whole morning...
Ziva grinned, "Some people are made to be head slapped Tony, and you're one of them." ...

McGee said 'You want Gibbs to kiss you!" Tony?
Tony pulled a face, "Do you mind, Probie? I've just had lunch!"
Gibbs: You homophobic Tony? No of course not Boss! It's just that I've got a migraine coming on ...
Tony mumbling to himself: '...probably from all your headslaps you gave me...
You say somethin' Tony? No Boss!damn I'd forgotten how good his hearing his

McGee's phone rang 'McGee, dowm here. ASAP or more specific NOW!' abby almost yelled through the phone..
Erm, I dunno Abby, Gibbs is kinda angry right now. Erm Boss Abby wants me down in her lab now, so, erm...
Go McGee NOW!! Tony, Ziva you go to that restaurant where the petty officer was last seen ...
On it Boss! Now that reminds me, Zee-Vah are you or are you not going to make me dinner tonight?
At the restaurant: ' Petty officer shouting: Get down! Give me your...
"NCIS! Put your legs down!" "Arms Zee-Vah, it's put your arms down. Right you heard my partner.."
(A little while later after a fist fight, a couple of rather large bruises and a petty officer in custody) So Tony what movie do you want to watch tonight?...
Tony's phone rang: Gibbs: 'What's going on...
"Going on where Boss?"
"The crime scene, you stupid, do I have to give you a wake up call again?...
Right Boss! We've got the petty officer in custody and I got slightly injured so..


So, what DiNozzo?.. . Get your ass here, Ducky will check you out!...
Drive carefully Zee-Vah! It's an injured agent you're carrying...
Gibbs, for someone who was acting like Magnum, Magnum would not have made it in Mossad!
Is that need to know...?
Uh, Gibbs, Tony got hurt, don't you care?, I mean, he's like a son to you, yes?...
Of course, I care Ziva! That's why I want Ducky to check him and not some trainee at Bethesda
Okay, that's fine, but there is something bothering me, I can swear I have seen you with that petty officer before...
Be careful Ziva! Are you sure it was me?
I thought it was you, but if it wasn't, maybe you have a twin brother, yes?
Damn!Gibbs thought"What the hell has my twin been up to now?"Ziva! Hold the fort for a couple of hours...
Hold the fort? How does one hold a fort? Do I pick it up and...
"Ziva, Gibbs means you're temporarily in charge, OK?" "Why didn't he just say so...?
Gibbs went to the interrogation room and discovered that the petty officer is an under cover FBI agent named 'Alvin' who was investigating ...
Gibbs' identical twin brother . "Now Alvin can you explain why you attacked Special Agent DiNozzo?"
I didn't really mean to hurt Tony, but I had to attack him otherwise I could have blown my cover, I knew Gibbs' brother, Stanley was standing nearby...
And what exactly has Stanley done now..?
Stanley wants revenge because Gibbs is successful in life and Stanley was always the blacksheep of the family and...
McGee get DiNozzo back up here, then go down to Abby and stay with her until
Ziva can can get down there to relieve you, not even the world's biggest idiot would...
Damn! McGee be careful! only Tony and Ducky can tell my twin and I apart, so you better look after Abs or..
I'll tell her about that sweet little blond whose lips you were autographing at your last booksigning. And you weren't using a pen..
There's no need for threats, Boss. McGee turned and raced towards the lab, behind him he heard...
footsteps...
McGee turned, "Boss... what's wrong?" Gibbs smiled sweetly at him and McGee knew...
his boss has to be hiding something...
McGee looked closely at Gibbs and realised that...
maybe Ziva spoke the truth about their boss and asked: 'Boss, is that true about your...
Gibbs cut in abruptly, "Don't ask personal questions, Mister." More footsteps sounded and...
Suddenly Stanley stood before him and peeped at Gibbs...
Jethro looked sadly at his twin. "What the hell have you done, Stan?"
He looked at him with horror in his eyes: "It's all your fault Jethro, you were always the lucky one, since mom and dad died, I was the one in the foster homes, not you...
That's not an excuse Stan! Tony was abused by his parents and disinherited, and I couldn't have wished for a better son..
"Yes, maybe, but how could this 'Tony' be more important than your brother!" When Mom and Dad died I was the one that had to take the abuse and whippings from the so called loving foster parents while you ...'
Jethro cut across him, "I took crap too, Stanley. The Corp straightened me out. You could have...
"Dad, er I mean Boss can I speak to you a minute it's very important..?"
"WHAT!"
"Your brother's escaped from a mental asylum in Wichita and is very dangerous.."


"Ya think, DiNozzo?" Tony looked from one Gibbs to the other...
Damn! Ziva get Duck up here double quick time! Double what Tony?
"Tell him to shift his butt!" "Got it Tony." Jethro was watching Stanley...
"DiNozzo's going to die in front of your very eyes Jethro" said Stanley
"Don't be too sure about that, Stanley," Jethro said softly, never taking his eyes off...
Stan while signing to Tony (the best kept NCIS secret - Tony knows ASL): "kneecap him when Ducky injects the sedative" "Twitchy fingers Jethro?"...
McGee grabbed Tony's arm... "That one's the evil twin. He called me Mister... the Boss NEVER calls me Mister!"
"Well done Probie! We'll make an agent out of you yet. Now where the hell is Ducky?"
"I'm here. What seems to be the ? Oh My!" Ducky stared at the two Gibbs' in front of him.
"Jethro...?...uh...(Ducky looking a bit to his left side)...Jethro?...
Both Gibbs' answered "Yes". Jethro glared at Stanley. McGee nudged Ducky and pointed, "That one is our Gibbs...
'Oh, uhm Ducky, don't be fooled by my brother, you know me, I'm you're friend!...(Abby came running towards them) Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs! I have...uh, Gibbs?? (Abby suddenly saw the two) ...uh... whaaat iisss ...
"Always knew you were a bit hinky Bossman" (playfully punches Stanley on the arm, who turns on her) "You little...
'hey, my silver haired fox, a little grumpy today?' Then, Agent Fornell and Alvin came in...
'So Gibbs trouble at NCIS I presume AHH Double Gibbs!
"Knock it off Fornell!" (meanwhile Abby's hyperventilating) Tony: "It'll be Ok Abs, Gibbs and I'll sort this out"
Abby: 'Butsomuchiswrongandthingsaren'trightand...''It's fine Abbs really let me and Tony..'But Gibbs!! It's not fine becausetherearetwoofyuoandstuff..'Come'on Abby let Ziva sort you out...
Abby: "B-b-b-but G-g-g-gibbs.." Ziva: "It's OK Abby, you want to squeeze Bert to feel better, yes?!
uh, okay, but why is...the other Gibbs looking at me like...hey..., that is a really nice tattoo on your hand...uh, Mr Gibbs..., uh, sir...
Ziva ' C'mon Abby lets go back to your lab..
Then Stan pointed a gun at Tony and said: "Today you're gonna feel how it is to loose someone you love, Jethro"...
"Nooo!" Click, click Tony :"Relax da..Boss! I emptied his gun, -aarggh! you miserable son of ..." (Tony staggers backwards bleeding profusely)
"Tony!!, no, no, please, I can't lose you also...(flashing through his mind, Shannon, Kelly, Kate and ...Jenny), can you hear me son?"...
"Dad, don't leave me!" "Duck!"
'Stop the bleeding Jethro!!'...Gibbs reaches for his gun and shoots at an off guard Stan 'AHHHH how could you?'...
"How could you dare ask me that! You came here to hurt the only family I have left, why? What did I do to make you hate me so much?"...Stan in an almost inaudible voice: "I, ...I'm sorry...just...just..."
"I don't want to hear it Stan - just pray Tony gets through this, or you're gonna find out why am I bastard.."
While everyone's attention was on Tony, Ziva suddenly noticed: "Hey, where's Stan? He was just right here a moment ago, but now there's only a pool of blood left!..." "Leave him..., our main concern is DiNozzo"...
(Bethesda ICU): "Hey son! How're you doin'?" "I'm fine Dad, but don't leave me" "Don't worry not goin' anywhere"
uh...boss...I mean Dad...uhm..., why did you never tell us you have a twin brother?...


I don't... I don't know why I didn't tell you. But I ...
"Don't sweat Dad! It's no big deal, honest, you'll me when you're ready.."
Abby rushing in: "Tony, Tony, Tony! you're okay! Ducky said the doctor said you could be released the morning!"...
"Yea, I'll be released tomorrow Abby." "Thank God you're Tony. We would be lost without you, I think."...
"Hey, Abs, how's the McGeek and our Israeli doing...I guess they are a little bored there at the office without me..."
"Well, McGeek and the Israeli, aren't bored right now." McGee said coming through the open door together with...
...Alvin and Alvin said: Tony, sorry about that swing at you at the restaurant man, I was undercover and...
"Relax man! No harm done" "You find out where Stan went..?"
"No, and it's kinda strange though, he has been badly wounded, and there is no sign of him in any hospital either." "What about Special Agent Gibbs, how is he dealing with it?"
"How do you think? It's his twin and..."
"...I think deep down he would like them to make peace again, I mean, it's not like Gibbs has a lot of family and ..."
No matter how big a screwball he is, Stanley is still...
Alvin froze by the sight of Gibbs walking in the room again. He heard a lot of this man and his rules and always thought Fornell was over-reacting when talking about his 'bastard' friend, but after ...
Seeing the determination and stare on this man's face he decided not to disagree with Fornell for once!
"You done annoying my son here, so get that butt of yours outta here now! Do I have to repeat myself? (Alvin flees from the room). How're you doin' Tony? You look like could do with some rest. You just close your eyes an' I'll keep watch.."
(Que song) Man on the moon, promise that soon...sleep,sleep,sleep will come calling, animals here hush disappear. leave him to dream a-lone (end song) 'Gibbs, Gibbs is Tony ok??' 'Yes Ziva he's sleeping,'oh my god poor Tony! Gibbs do you mind giving us some time alone?? 'No Ziva go ahead' (Gibbs goes to get coffee...
(Ziva)"Was Gibbs really singing you a lullaby?" (Tony) "Yeah! That a problem for you Zee-Vah?" (Ziva) "No, it's just...
"...that Gibbs...being Gibbs, I mean, a headslap I can understand..., but singing a song..."
"Dad knows I feel better when he sings to me, of course he can't do that in that office, and besides the headslap is a wake-up call. You jealous Zee-Vah?"
"No...it has been a long time since he headslapped me, and you know how he prefers to deal with us, but are you pulling my arm or something Tony, I thought Abby was his favorite, yes?"
"It's pulling somebody's leg Zee-Vah! And, yes! Abby's his favourite girl, and I'm his adopted son, but we're all family at NCIS, including you"
"How can you tell Tony, I never really had a great relatonship with my dad, well, I have to say, sometimes Gibbs really scares the hell out of me, and you know, I'm a highly trained Mossad officer, I just can't help it, but he kinda feels also like a dad to me..."
"There you go! Gibbs is dad to you, Probie, Abby and me - then there's Duck who's like a cross between grandad and uncle; and Palmer, well he's the black sheep - all good families have a black sheep, and doesn't mean anything bad. Are you crying Zee-Vah?"
"Yes, well, I had cried in front of Gibbs so often lately. I can't stand the idea of him seeing me so vulnerable and weak, you know, I have changed since being at NCIS..."
"Crying is not a sign of weaknes, if you don't believe me ask Gibbs. But what's wrong Zee-Vah? Who's upset you?


"It's not that I'm upset Tony, it's just, you know, I know something...about you lying to Gibbs and , Jenny told me before..."
"I was following Jen's orders Zee-Vah! I told Da..Gibbs when it was all over and he understood, the only thing he was angry about was the lack of back-up...but that's not the real reason is it?
"No, but we can talk about that later Tony, right now I'm more concerned about Gibbs, he's almost acting like when he went after Ari. He has that look, I can see it in his face..."
"The look of anger and fear. It's the same look he had when Kate died, Ziva" 'No, I can't start thinking about Kate again...
The next morning. Ducky enters the room: "Hello, Tony my boy, how are you doing this morning?"
"I'm fine Duck. What's this about Gibbs behaving like when he was after Ari, Ziva told me yesterday?"
"I don't now Anthony. He's probably just obsessed finding someone who hurt someone he cares about. Oh, and by the way, Abigail has gone to the graveyard with flowers from all of us to dear Caitlin."...
"Ow, boss..., I'm in hospital! (headslapped)" "You were shot in the shoulder Tony, not the head...and did I hear my name and what's it about Abby and the graveyard Duck?"
"Abigail went to the graveyard with flowers, because today it's exactly 4 years since Caitlin died, Jethro. And Ziva is saying you have the same look in your eyes, like you had when you were after Ari...
"That time is behind us Duck". "Jethro, excuse me for asking, but this mood your in doesn't perhaps have something to do with your brother's sudden appearance?"
"My mood is just fine, Duck. I'm well aware of it's 4 years since she died, but that's the past, but it keeps bugging the hell out of me. And every single year, on the exact day she died, I'm like this if you haven't noticed..." 'Why does everybody need to mention Kate today of all days?'...
"I've noticed my friend. We all miss her and I know Ziva will never replace our dear Caitlin, but she's also looking up to you...in fact your whole team's looking up to you, you were always the strong one since Caitlin died..."
"I've not always been the strong one. Right after Ari shot Kate, I was broken. Nobody is ever going to replace her. The team is like my family. Tony, McGee, Abby, Ziva and Kate are like my children, you're like the grandfather to them all. Ari, took one of the family members away from us, and I'll never forget it..
"So what are you going to do about Stanley Dad? Do you want me to kill him for you when I get out? 'Cos I'm not going to let you do it, here's your twin like it or lump it"
"No, Tony. I don't want you to kill him. He's probably dead by now after the bullet he took, he probably dead from all the blood he has lost...
"But I still wish we could have talked, since that accident when we were babies and we lost both our parents, he was the one who was in and out of foster homes, I was the lucky one who was adopted by loving parents. I guess he has reason to be mad at me..."
"You mean you and me are alike Dad, I mean my real family used to treat me badly and my father would beat the crap out of me for the hell of it. Good job I found you, otherwise I might have been another misfit.."
"Well, I'm glad you found me Tony. I'll find a nurse to see if you can leave soon, okay?"..
"Thanks Dad! Don't suppose you could have Probie sneak in a pizza with double pepperoni?"
(Gibbs went out of the room, found a nurse and came back to Tony) "No, I don't need McGee to snuck in because you are coming home...
"So, you buying me pizza for dinner?" (Gibbs): But not a word to Ducky or he'll have my guts for garters. He told me you needed more green leafy vegetables in your diet..
But... But, he knows I HATE vegetables. But if you say I need to, then I will do it, only if I get pizza at least once a week..
"and, uh, Dad...can we first make a quick stop at my place, have to get my Magnum dvd collection, I mean..., maybe you can watch some episodes with me, one or two or three or...


"OK Tony! but we're watching just one episode because we both need to sleep, I should really work on the boat but you're in no condition to help at the moment
I'll just be sitting on the couch and watching Magnum. So Gibbs, what are you going to name the boat this time?...
"I dunno maybe Me & My Son or Family, whatcha think?
"You named the others after someone you cared about. Why don't do it this time also?"..
"and I've been thinking, since it is been 4 years today, what about 'Kate'?
"Tony, you know how much we all loved Kate, but will it make me remember her every single day of my life? It's worth the try. Brilliant idea Tony...
"...or maybe 'Caitlin' like Ducky used to say..."
Sounds even better. I really think the boat is going to be named 'Caitlin'...
"...and Tony, (Gibbs gave him the glare) don't you also dare asking me how're we gonna get her out of the basement, because then I'm for sure gonna ..."
"kill me? I got it. won't even think about asking you."...
"...and while we're at it, there's gonna be some rules if you are gonna stay here son..."
"Rule number 1: No TV after 2300. Rule number 2 : Don't go down into the basement without permission. Rule number 3 : ...
"you don't touch the electrical tools down there, and Rule number 4: No Magnum or James Bond movies on my TV in the basement, you hear me?..."
"Crystal. No Magnum or James Bond movies in the basement."..
"But I can help you with the boat when you're down right? Please Dad"
"I'm sorry, but no. Don't want anything to happen to 'Caitlin'. I'm sorry Tony..
They finally arrived at Gibbs's home. Tony jumped out running towards the frontdoor, but suddenly froze." "Boss...dad...your frontdoor is open, it looks as if..."
...your ex-wives have organised a re-union and they're holding it here. And they've all brought...
He didn't get any further with that sentence, because a young brown haired woman came out of the door. "Geez Gibbs, Learn to lock the door." "Ka...Kate.. you... you're supposed to be.. you know..dead!"...
"Erm, hi Tony, hi Gibbs, erm, uh, well, um, I think I have some explaining to do to you guys,.."
"Ya think..., how about starting right now Kate!..." Looking at her pouting Gibbs said: "Today Kate!..."
"Well, um, it's kinda long, could we sit down while I tell you?"
"Yeah, you can sit in my lazy-boy. It's really comfortable for that looong story of yours!..."
"Okay. Well you, Ari 'killed' me, but it wasn't me, it was an FBI agent who looked like me, and they, or more specific, Fornell wanted to spare my life, he knew Ari would go after me, so they took me and put her in instead. And they wanted me to disappear for a long time and they just gave me permission to come back now...
Gibbs tilting his head to the one side continued: "Yes, and..."
"And I.. I just only expected to see you here. Not Tony... I would have visited him later. Just wanted to see you first, 'cause your like a 2nd father to me..
"Ha! you trying to convince me or yourself about that Kate? Because you sure aren't like a daughter to me, might have been if it hadn't been for this fancy charade you and Fornell pulled, but the fact is, I'm only officially second father to Tony and Abby... so save the bootlickin' for Fornell
"and it's been 4 years Kate, you should have come to me, but you chose to trust Fornell?...
"Erm, well Fornell is my husband..
Fornell is you husband!! Kate, you know what I think of this?...
(Gibbs) "You. Are. An. Idiot!!" (Tony) "That goes for me too Kate, and frankly after this I doubt whether I could ever trust you again, now go! You've upset Dad once too much Kate"
(Kate was now really sobbing like a child) "I said I'm sorry ..."


"And he blackmailed me to marry him, or else he wouldn't spare my life...
(Tony) "...and now Ziva is gonna kill you anyway because she killed her brother thinking he was guilty of killing you!!" "I think only the Probie will feel sorry for you, and maybe Ducky, that's if you're lucky!"
(Kate screaming): ZIVA KNEW, SHE KNEW IT ALL. DON'T THINK SHE'LL KILL ME, BECAUSE SHE WON'T, SHE CAME WITH THE IDEA. SHE PLANNED IT...
"Pull the other one it's got bells on Kate"
Tony: "Dad, where are you going! Gibbs: "I'm going after Fornell. My second "b" maybe for bastard, but that second "l" in Fornell better stand for 'luck', 'cause he's gonna need it...and then I'm going after Ziva!"...
On your six! You can't do this alone - I'll call Probie too
Okay, call McGee, but don't say anything to Abby yet, I can just imagine how she would react..."
On it boss, what about Ducky? This is going to be so hard on him
"I know Tony, but you'll think of something to tell him, right now my first priority is that FBI bastard!"
"On it boss! Just make sure Em's out of harm's way when you take him down"
Ducky: I tell you Jethro, I've never seen anything like it. It's as if his--"
"I know Duck, just how we're going to tell Emily about her father I just don't know, and then there's Diane.. You think they'd let me have custody of her?
Ducky: "I don't know Jethro" "But your situation reminds me of a time when I was with Scotland Yard."
(Gibbs) "To the point Duck this is urgent" (Ducky) "Don't worry Jethro, I've got a few favours I can call in from Social Services, and I know Tony will enjoy playing older brother"
'C'mon then lets get going'...
(Ducky): 'and Jethro, before we go, I know how you feel about Emily, but I also know you my friend,
and you would never have reacted like this if you didn't care, you might as well admit it, you care about Caitlin, she needs you right now...'
'You know Duck...Why should I trust Kate!? I believed her to be dead!' (Gibbs cellphone rings) 'Gibbs it's Ziva..There will be a woman that you believe to be dead... whatever anyway she's an imposter anything she says ...ignore it she's a fake Gibbs save yourself quick!...she's dangerous...
Gibbs replies: All women are dangerous Ziva.. and I had a feeling something was.. hinky here.. thanks for the heads up. He turns to Ducky and says..
but before he could continue, Kate...
Aims her gun and fires (Gibbs) Aargghh!! the bitch! (blood pours from shotwound to thigh) (Tony) "You're not Kate! (bang! bang! - the impostor Kate drops to the ground) (Ducky) "Good shot young Anthony, she's dead"
"yes Ducky, I knew she couldn't be our Kate, she was just too emotional!"...
(Tony) "Hey Dad, how are you doing?" (Gibbs) "Surviving son. Reckon, mebbe we're gonna need some help around the house for a while..."
"what you mean dad?" "And dad, I just want to ask you something, I mean, if it's okay with you..."
(Gibbs) "Yes son" (Tony) "Do you think Zee-Vah could cook for us? I mean she does make the best Ravioli al Pesto - even you liked it!"
"Yes, Tony, but you know I don't like 'Italian' or is it 'Spanish' food?..."
"Erm, I don't think you like either, actually! But Zee-Vah's such a good cook and well I kinda...
"...also thought, eh...I mean, it's been bothering me for a while, but can I invite Jeanne also over?..."
(Gibbs) "Tony, have you got concussion son? I thought you didn't want to see Jeanne again after what she did to you. I mean I really don't think that's a good idea. You OK son, you're looking a bit pasty"
"...Nooo dad, it's just that I really liked her, or I mean love her, although I couldn't say it at the time, but..."
"so, you're trying to set Ziva up with me, is that it?
"Ha?...no I...Ouch! Dad, someday you're gonna slap me right into some brain damage or somethin'..."


(Gibbs) "Well, somebody's got to keep you on the straight and narrow" (Tony) "more like you're addicted to cuffing me round the head..."
(Gibbs gave him another whack.) (Tony) "...uh...thankyou boss...uh..dad...damn, when I'm I gonna get this dad thing right?..."
(Tony) OK! OK! Got the message, we only invite Abby (Gibbs strokes his hair) (Gibbs) You're learning son
"Dad, there's only one problem...or, okay it's not that it is really a problem, but there is this movie on one of the channels I don't wanna miss, sooo...I just kinda wondered... would it be okay if we eat in front of the TV in the living room?" (Tony thinking): I really hope he's not gonna make this one of his rules to always have to eat in the kitchen...maybe I should get Abs to convince him, yeah, he would listen to her!)
(Gibbs) "OK son, just until my leg gets better" (Tony doing high fives!) "Thanks. When's Abby coming?
"Maybe in an hour or so. She was so freaked out hearing about 'Kate', I told her to take something and had to order her to go lie down awhile..."
And right then Ducky came bursting in carrying a...
"...dog collar like the one's Abby usually wears but before he could say something Gibbs phone rang and they saw him go pale. "Hello brother, lovely little lady I have here, not that I'm into the 'Goth' thing. I can't believe how easy she opened her door to me!"
(Tony): "What's up Dad? Boss?" (Gibbs - shaking) "Stan's got Abby"
(Gibbs puts the phone on loudspeaker.) (Ziva) 'Gibbs help it's Ziva! Ahhhh' (Tony really annoyed and upset) 'No Ziva answer us... Ziva please, Theres something I need to tell you, you were always there for me through the Jeanne phase and I ignored you ... I think I ...lo' (Stan) 'If you ever want them back Gibbs you will listen to me!...
"Stan, I will hunt you down if you hurt one hair on their..."
'Oh get over yourself Jethro!' OWWW THUMP (Ziva) 'Ummm.. Gibbs it's Ziva can you come and pick us up? 'Yeh sure Ziva' 'Oh and tell Tony he can come..we need to talk..oh and one more thing tell Tony to grab a family size Chinese I could eat a donkey!
(Gibbs narrowing his eyes) "What the hell is going on Ziva! And where's Abby?..."
(Ziva) Ummm...well I got free and hit Stan on the back of the with a chair he's out cold on the floor and Abby is in a bit of a state...she's scared Gibbs here she is (Abby really quiet) Hey Gibbs please come and get me...Ziva just showed me her ninja skills on Stan hehe..'Okay Abs I'm coming McGee will track the cell...
"and Abs are you sure Ziva didn't kill Stan?..."
'Well he still has a pulse.. but Ziva did kick his butt with her fantastic ninja skills.. it was all like pow,pow,pow ''Alright Abs I'll be right there tell Ziva I'll be there in a sec and I want Stan alive! PLEASE '
(Gibbs) "I mean, you saw what she did once to that Petty Officer, and that was with a paperclip!..."
(Gibbs) " Right Abs we're coming to save you" "Tony you come as well Zeevah wants to talk! (laughing to himself) ( giving Tony a knowing look) " Ok bye bye Gibbsy Wibbsy" " Abby what have I said...'Sorry Gibbs.. Bye sir or would you prefere MA'AM" "Goodbye ABBY!" While Tony and Gibbs are in the car (Gibbs) "look Tony you must take this opportunity to have a proper conversation with Ziva.."Yes Boss ,no sorry dad!"
(Gibbs) "McGee locate the GPS on Ziva's cell, would ya?" (McGee) "On it Boss!" (Tony) "Can I kill Stan?" (Gibbs' headslaps Tony) "Ow! Dad!I'm injured" (Ducky) "Will you two behave or I'll make sure the Director puts you two on desk duty for the next month!" (Gibbs) "Duck!
(Gibbs) "Are you threatening me, 'cause you know I'm not scared of the Director!"
(Duck) "I know, but you're petrified of desk duty..., and believe I could make it imperative for both of you to be like that for a month, so knock it off" (Tony) "Aw! C'mon Duck! Me and Dad are injured here, 

sympathy's what we need" (Duck) "Between the two of you and mother, you'll be the death of me!" (Gibbs and Tony chuckle)
(Ducky) "You know Jethro, maybe I should start smacking you like you do Anthony..."
(Gibbs) "Have Palmer and Lee been at it on the autopsy tables again?"
"I would not know, Jethro, but I always seem to find some underwear in the drawers, and then the young lad always has this innocent look..."
(Gibbs) "oh the innocent look Tony gives me when one of his obsessed ex-girlfriends ring and he makes me answer the phone " (Tony) " Hey they are crazy! (McGee) " Boss right here in this warehouse"
(Gibbs) Well done McGee! Tony, McGee got your weapons ready? (Tony, McGee) On it Boss!
...tic..tic...tic "uh...Boss, can you hear it?, I think there is a bomb!"
"Jeezus son, you're right. Everyone outta here now (boom!!)
(Gibbs) "McGee, you're alright?! (McGee) "Yeah...I think so but, oh no..no...boss, I think Ziva went in to try and disable the bomb again!..."
(Gibbs) Damn the woman! (Ziva) All clear Gibbs, we've got time to get Abby out and everyone back to Bethesda and NCIS
(Gibbs to Ziva) "Haven't I told you previously that if you ever do anything like that again I'll kick your butt back to Israel?!"
(DiNozzo) Dad, our crazy ninja chick was only trying to help, and Abby's fine except for a few scratches. So maybe you could let her off the hook, please (Gibbs) Say thank you to DiNozzo, this softheaded son of mine...
...has saved your ass for now, which reminds me son, wasn't there somethin' you wanted to talk to her about?"
(DiNozzo) "uh, erm, ya, you think you could cook Dad and me a meal, Zee-Vah? But no pasta - Dad hates Italian food" (Ziva) "Why should I want to do that Tony? (DiNozzo) "Because your Boss and favorite special agent are injured" (Ziva) "Big business!" (DiNozzo) "Deal, ZeeVah, it's big deal; and if you're not interested then that's your loss not ours" (Gibbs whacks Tony on the head) "What was that for?" (rubbing his head) (Gibbs) "For being an ass son. Now who's going to cook us dinner?
(Ziva) "It's okay Gibbs, I'll cook, then Tony can help me and at the same time he can tell me what's bothering him, but I'll do the knife-work, Tony might just cut off his arm..."
(Gibbs) Oh god.. I just forgot... I told Ducky I would look after his mother tonight! Sorry Tony you and Ziva will have to eat alone and... (whispering to Tony ) NO sleeping in my bed! Or anything else for that matter!
(Tony) Can't promise anything there dad (winking at Ziva).
(Ziva) 'Come on Tony let's go I'm driving...' (Tony) 'I'm not even gonna complain! There might be much more DANGEROUS activities to do later hey Zee' 'come on we are leaving' (taking Tony's hand and walking to the car.)
(DiNozzo) Watch out for Ducky's mother Dad, you know she fancies you (winking) (Gibbs) You looking for another headslap? And you two behave! (DiNozzo+Ziva) Yes, Dad/Gibbs, ha!ha!
(In the car) " So Tony there was something you needed to talk about..." " Yeah umm Ziva I really like you..lets' talk after dinner then we will be able to make an easier decision than in here..." "Oh yeah that's fine Tony I'm starved!'
(Abby) "Hey you guys! You just gonna leave me here? (DiNozzo) "Abs! I'm sorry I-I-I forgot, I thought McGeek was with you. Hey Zee-Vah give me a hand with Abby to get her to the car, I think we need to take her to Bethesda
(Abby) "Noo..I wanna go home with you guys, I'm fine, look Gibbs!...only a few scratches, Ducky can patch me up...I mean... I'll be good, you won't even know I'm there!"
(DiNozzo): "Erm, Abby could I have a quiet word with you a minute? (he whispers something in Abby's 

here)" (Abby) "Oh! well on second thoughts I'd better stay and help Ducky, I'd forgotten Palmer had to study for his exam tomorrow" (DiNozzo) "Must have been quite a knock on the head you had there Abs to forget that, maybe Ducky should check you for concussion" (Winks at Abby) (Abby) "Yeah! mebbe. See you guys tomorrow then."
(Gibbs) "Yeeaahhhh...can we go home now, before I start kicking butt!!. With you guys here I'm never gonna finish my boat!"
(DiNozzo) "Dad! You said you were looking after Duck's mother tonight" (Gibbs) "Yeah! but Duck's bringing her to my house (Ziva) "It's Ok Tony, we can have dinner in my apartment, yes? (DiNozzo) "Thanks Zee-Vah!
"And how about we just get some pizza on our way, no worry at cooking, yes?"
"Whatever you say Zee-Vah' You got any beer or wine at home?
(Back at Ziva's apartment) "So Tony there was something you wanted to talk about?...Talk" "Well ummm.. Look Ziva I kinda noticed you acting like you have feelings for me and everything, but I ignored it..but now I can't stop thinking about you and (!! c'mon someone help here!)...
(Ziva) What kind of feelings Tony? (standing in his personal space) (DiNozzo) Um, well you know, as in boy+girl feelings Zee-Vah (Ziva) What about Rule 12?
"I don't think Dad would mind us breaking Rule 12 this once, I mean he likes you also, anyway, since that day we were locked up in the container and thought we were gonna die...I mean something happend to me...I never felt the same again..."(Ziva) "Oh...just say it Tony, it's only three words!!"
(Tony) I love you Ziva I really do! (Ziva) I love you too Tony..now for the more dangerous activities!
(McGee) Hey! Tony, Ziva are you busy? (DiNozzo) Jeez Probie you're timing sucks you know (McGee) Wh-why? What's up Tony?
"Uh...I've just got a message from the boss...he said to me to tell you to remember Rule 12. Why would he say that Tony? Tony and Ziva's eyes widen. (McGee) "Ha...got you, just kidding!"
(DiNozzo) That's not funny Probie. Zee-Vah what shall we do to him?
"Okay, now Ziva, just stop right there! I love my new white teeth...don't wanna loose them...so I'm going, also have a date!"
(Ziva) You know Tony Tim's getting to big for his socks (DiNozzo) Boots Zee-Vah! Too big for his boots. Now, before Probie interrupted you and I were...
...well, ...uh...dangerous activities...what exactly did you mean by that Zee-Vah??
(Ziva) C'mon Tony! I didn't think you needed that kind of thing spelt out to you (DiNozzo) Naughty, naughty
(Tony) "Hey, sweet cheeks, you think the McGeek knows what we're up to?" (Ziva) "Uh, well...do you really care, my little hairy butt?..."
(Tony) So am I spending the night on the couch or have you got somewhere more comfortable?
(Ziva narrowing her eyes) "Where do you think Tony?..."
(DiNozzo) Just making sure honey, didn't want you killing me with a paperclip before we got onto the good stuff (wink, wink)
Don't worry Tony, I'll go easy on you. Tony and Ziva looked deep into each other's eyes, turned around and closed the door behind them...
(Next morning) (DiNozzo) "Ah! What the..? Zee-Vah wake up!" (Ziva) "What's up Tony? (DiNozzo) "You're lying on my bad arm" (Ziva) "I'm sorry" (Phone rings) "DiNozzo! Yes, Dad I'm awake and so's Zee-Vah. Where are you? (Gibbs) "Bethesda! Stan appeared last night. We had a fight and Mrs. Mallard's in the ICU. Get Ducky!
(Tony) "Ziva's calling Ducky right now, but where is Stan now, dad." (Gibbs) "Fornell called me early this morning, word is that he tried to flee to South Africa."
(DiNozzo) "Are you OK Dad?" (Gibbs) "More or less son. You settle everything with Ziva?" (DiNozzo) "Um well, we kinda broke Rule 12, that's not gonna make you mad, is it? (Gibbs) "Not if she's the right 

one"
(Tony) "oh yeah she is!" (Gibbs)"Great... now...
(he was cut off by his cell.) Gibbs...Okay thank you.. (he hung up) Fornell and the rest of his team caught Stan in the airport. So tony go get Ziva and go home. (Tony): Dad, I have something to confess. Weel, Ziva is the right one, I would sacrifice everything for her. And you know, when Kate was alive I loved her, then she died. I failed her. Now, I love Ziva and I won't let anything happen to her. I love her dad. (Gibbs): I know Tony, I know.