Disclaimers: As always, JKR/Bloomsbury/WB et all own the rights. Prose is the only thing I claim. Written for fun, not profit. Let's go.

12 Years

"Hey Remus."

"Hey Sirius."

"Sorry I couldn't get new clothes."

"Oxfam's fine. Don't worry about it, Remus. It's not like I had anything better in Azkaban."

"I know. But still.."

"You worry too much over small things. Did you give Harry the package?"

"Yes. What was in that package anyway?"

"Uh. Just an overdue present."

"How overdue? And what was it?"

"Just a present. Let's just go to sleep. It's been a long day and-"

"What was in that package Padfoot?"

"..."

"Pads!"

"Alright. Fine. But promise you won't laugh when I tell you."

" Fine. Fine. Just tell me what the hell it was already!"
"A sweater."

"A what?"

"A fucken sweater all right! A SWEATER! Yeah, It took me twelve fucken years to knit him a sweater!"

"Wait..You mean to tell me it took you TWELVE years to knit a sweater!"

"Yeah. Isn't that what I just said! Seriously, Moony. I mean come on, didn't you ever wonder why I didn't escape before then?"

"Twelve years? Twelve years? Twelv- I mean how in the hell did it take you twelve years to knit a sweater?"

" Hey! That's a pretty decent time-frame if you had to learn to knit! Besides, YOU try knitting without opposable thumbs and see how far that gets you!"

"...You mean to tell me that Padfoot was knitting the sweater all this time?"

"...Well...Yeah. I spent most of my time there as a dog or else I would have gone completely mad!"
"...BWAHAHAHAHAHA! HA! HOO! HA!HAHA!"

"Moony? Why are your shoulders shaking? Oh Merlin's sake! Moony! Stop Laughing! You bastard! You said you wouldn't laugh!"

"...I'm sorry...It's just that...a dog...knitting...Bwahahahaha!"

"..."
"BWAHAHAHA!...snort...snicker...HA HAHAHA!"

"You know, if you didn't give such great head, I would have no problem feeding you to Buckbeak."

-O-O-O-

"This just came for you Harry."

"Thanks Ron."

"Oh...how nice."

"What the hell is that Harry! It looks like a doily gone crazy! Is it some kind of joke?"

"It's a sweater. From Sirius."

"Oh. Uhm... Well, you know they say that it's the thought that-"

"Ron?"

"Shutting up now."

Ende