Disclaimer: I own only the plot line and the words of this story. The characters, etc are not mine.
A/N: Just a random inspiration that came to me on Christmas Eve. Hope you like it!
The Bright Side of Loss
When Appa ascended into the air from the fire nation with a group of teenagers on his back, none of them knew what would happen next. They knew they had just been through hell and were thankful to be alive. They also knew that they needed to depend on each other if they were going to make it to see their parents and loved ones again.
The unexpected occurrences began when Prince Zuko appeared. He began spouting rhetoric about seeing the error of his ways, and wanting to help them. He wanted to teach Aang fire bending. He wanted to help them defeat the Fire Lord, also known as his father.
Most of them had a hard time accepting their former enemy for what he had become, but Katara and Sokka had difficulty in particular. Katara because of Zuko's actions in the crystal caves, and Sokka because Zuko was related to Azula; and Azula knew what had really happened to Suki.
Sokka scarcely went longer than a day without thinking about the auburn haired earth kingdom warrior. Not knowing if she was okay was like having a constant stomachache with no cure. He worried if she was safe, and swore vengeance if she had been hurt. Then, the day Zuko appeared at their campsite, he resolved to use the banished prince to unearth information about the girl he had fallen for.
Katara immediately froze him to a tree and began yelling angrily. Sokka patiently- or perhaps not so patiently- waited until she was done, then approached their captive. He stopped halfway there, though. All of a sudden he lost his courage and could no longer face the prince. He hung his head ashamedly and walked off in the opposite direction from their campsite. As much as he hated not knowing what had happened to Suki, to find out could end up making things even worse.
He finally got his courage back two weeks later, after the fire bender had more or less been accepted by the rest of the group. He waited for the cover of a starry night before he brought up the potentially depressing topic, approaching the banished prince as he sat before the fire.
"What happened to Suki?" the sentence was terse and succinct, devoid of his usual sarcasm or joking mannerisms as he sat down in the dirt.
"What happened to whom?" Zuko seemed to be both confused and telling the truth, but he couldn't be sure. And for once Toph wasn't around to ensure it.
"She's the leader of the Kyoshi warriors." Sokka failed to keep the note of pride out of his voice as he spoke. "Your sister and her psychotic friends captured her not too long ago. During the eclipse, Azula taunted me about her…saying she used to believe I would come. Now I have to know…what happened to her?" He hated the way his voice sounded so desperate; he was always supposed to be the strong one.
The former prince's dark head fell sadly. He was quiet, then he looked up and met Sokka's gaze, his normally pale face golden in the fire light.
"If Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee captured her, she's probably dead by now. Those three are ruthless."
He sounded deeply regretful, but didn't break their eye contact. Sokka took it upon himself to do that, then stood and walked away from the fire. Only when he was safely behind a tree out of sight did he allow the tears to fall.
After hearing the news, Sokka was lost in a fog of depression. Suki's face now scarcely left his mind, and he was tormented by nightmares of her unknown fate when he slept. They were gruesome, and often involved deaths so horrible that he would be forced awake, barely keeping himself from screaming and waking everyone around him. On the worst of those nights he would be unable to go back to sleep and instead walk away from the campsite to find a place to cry in private.
He had never been one to cry before, but thinking about Suki's death caused his eyes to cloud over and tears to spill down his cheeks. When the tears became unstoppable, he would curl up somewhere private and let his sobs out. His cries rent the night air around him, but only rocks and trees heard. Sokka knew he would be unable to deal with it if anyone else overheard him, especially his sister.
For several weeks after they left the fire nation, the group found a safe place to camp, and Zuko began to teach Aang fire bending. While they trained, Sokka would find his own area and work with his swords. He would go over and over what Suki had taught him, the memories of their time together bringing fresh tears to his face that mingled with the sweat as he moved. When the memories became too much, he would try and build onto what he already knew, practicing techniques and methods he had learned while training for the raid on the fire nation.
The night of the full moon found Sokka again sitting alone on a cliff in the moonlight. Tears dropped slowly from his eyes as he thought about Suki. Searching for some distraction, he looked up at the moon. Its light seemed to shine down more softly than usual, like a long lost lover was gazing down on him from above.
'Looking at the moon was a bad idea' He thought as more tears fell down his face. He remembered Yue, who had died during the fire nation's attack on the southern water tribe. Her dead body had felt small and frail in his arms as he tried to bring her back to life. She was the first girl he had had real feelings for.
Sighing heavily, Sokka tore his gaze away from the moon and noticed something moving below him. There -in a small lake almost directly under where he was sitting- stood his sister. He watched curiously as she took a deep breath, and then began moving in a graceful, elegant way as water swirled around her. Sokka realized Katara was bending, which made sense as water benders were strongest at night, and even more so during the full moon.
He continued to watch his sister practice, taking a base sort of comfort in observing something he knew very little about. Every move she made was unknown to him, so instead of watching and thinking about something entirely different, he was able to watch and wonder at the agility and style of water bending.
Then something happened that he never expected. Seemingly out of nowhere, Katara stopped practicing. She left the lake she had been standing in, paused to bend the water out of her hair and clothes, and then walked onto the sandy ground where a small fire had been lit. She reached the edge of the fire and sat down.
Curious as well as confused now, Sokka scrambled down the hill he had been sitting on, intent on figuring out what was going on. He wound his way through the surrounding trees so he approached where Katara was sitting from one side.
The sight that met his eyes nearly made him scream. There was Katara, sitting in front of a small fire, in the arms of none other than the former prince Zuko. Her head was on the older boy's shoulder, and it sounded like they were talking, though Sokka couldn't make out their exact words. Moving extremely cautiously, he crept closer to hear what they were talking about. He was still deciding how to react when Katara's voice reached his ears.
"I'm worried about Sokka," her voice was sad, and her eyes never left the flames. "He seems so depressed lately. I want to help…but I'm afraid to upset him by asking about it."
"I think that's my fault." Zuko's eyes were fixed on the fire as well.
"What do you mean?" She turned her head as if to get a better understanding of what had been said.
"A little while ago he asked me about a girl named Suki. At least I think that's what he called her. He said she'd been captured by Azula and wanted to know how she was. I honestly have no clue who the girl is or was. But I told him she was probably dead."
"Oh no…no wonder he's been so depressed. That's the second time he's lost someone he had feelings for." His sister's voice was deeply regretful now as well as sad.
"The second?"
"When the fire nation attacked the South Pole last year, the attack resulted in the death of their Princess, Yue. He's never admitted this to me, but I'm pretty sure she and Sokka were in love."
Sokka didn't know how to react. On the one hand, he was enraged with Katara for revealing one of his deepest secrets to their former enemy and apparently her current love interest, but on another he was relieved that someone else knew the truth about his depression. He was considering leaving the two alone and going back to camp when Zuko spoke again.
"That's awful. I had no idea when I told him about the girl. If I had…" the fire bender trailed off, still looking horrified.
"I hope you would still have told him the truth. Sometimes lying to protect a person's feelings hurts them more than being honest would have." It amazed him how wise his little sister could sound when she wanted to.
"I know…but now I feel like this is my fault. Like I could have done something to prevent it…I don't like the idea that I hurt him." Sokka's eyes widened at the outpouring of emotion from the normally stoic and angry former prince.
"No. Zuko, listen to me." His sister put her hand on the older boy's cheek and turned his face so their eyes met. "This is not your fault. No one and nothing is to blame here except the war. I need you to understand that, and not start blaming yourself for things that are out of your control."
Sokka succumbed to a rush of mingled emotions as he watched the couple kiss. He was outraged that Katara would kiss someone who had tried to kill them, but also strangely grateful to her for explaining his situation. He felt a grim sense of satisfaction that Zuko understood how badly he was hurting, but still pitied the fire bender for the guilt he was undoubtedly feeling, regardless of what his sister said to convince him otherwise. He crept away from the couple when their kiss ended, and didn't hear what Katara said when her eyes resumed staring at the fire.
"I'll talk to Sokka tomorrow; I don't like seeing him so sad."
The next day passed in its usual rhythm until the sun had set and Sokka was sitting in front of the campfire. His mind wandered, but ended up settling on Suki like it normally did. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Katara approached, sat down next to him and met his gaze.
"I know what Zuko told you about Suki." She said bluntly.
He blinked once and said nothing. He wasn't sure if he should reveal he had overheard her last night or not. She continued before he could decide what to say.
"But I want you to know that you shouldn't be so sad. Remember, Zuko said she's probably dead. That doesn't mean she is dead. And I know she wouldn't want you to be so sad because of her."
He considered her words for a minute, and then found his voice. "That's very easy for you to say, Katara. You haven't lost two people you cared about as soon as you let your guard down. You've already got someone."
"What are you talking about? I don't have anyone." She looked at him in disbelief, one eyebrow raised.
"I saw you with Zuko last night. I know you two have something going on. And while I'm glad you told him the real reason for my depression I'm not glad that you're sneaking around with him. But don't worry, I won't tell Aang or Toph."
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It's a really recent thing. I still don't know what's going to happen. But this isn't about me. This is about you feeling better." He noticed her decision to ignore what he said about Toph and Aang.
"You're right…I know…I just need some time." Feeling angry and not wanting to talk anymore, Sokka stood from the campfire and walked into the woods.
It was nice of Katara to try and cheer him up, but right now that wasn't what he needed. Deep down, he knew the only thing that would was seeing Suki again. Though it was unlikely that would ever happen.
What upset him most was the knowledge that he'd lost two people he cared about. First he'd failed to keep Yue from dying, and then he let Suki be captured and probably murdered by Azula and her psychotic friends. What would happen to the next person he cared for? Perhaps it would be better if he repressed all his feelings in the future. That way no one would get hurt.
These depressing thoughts were rolling around in Sokka's head as he walked slowly through the forest around their campsite. His steps traced the path they had followed earlier, and as he looked ahead he saw a figure coming towards him. The figure drew closer, staggering as if in pain, and then fell to the ground.
Cautiously, dagger in hand, he approached the fallen figure. It appeared to be an unconscious woman, who looked like she'd tripped, but he couldn't be sure. She also looked badly bruised and scarred, with a burn stretching from her chin to her collarbone; she was emaciated as well. He guessed she'd been tortured, but he couldn't figure by what.
Still moving cautiously, Sokka bent down and placed his hand on the woman's shoulder. He shook it gently in an attempt to rouse her.
"Are you okay? Are you hurt?"
At the sound of his voice her eyes opened wide and she rolled away, ending up not too far from him in a crouched stance. Her dirty hair obscured her eyes and one arm held a weapon out in front of her as she fixed him with an angry, frightened look.
"Get away! Don't touch me! I mean it, I'll kill you!" Her voice was hoarse, it sounded like something had damaged her throat.
Sokka stowed his dagger and stood up slowly, his hands raised in front of him. The girl was watching his every move, panting heavily, and looked ready to attack at a moment's notice. He looked closely at the weapon in her hand. It was a golden fan. His gaze traveled from her weapon to her clothing. It was dirty and ragged, but the dark green color was still apparent.
"Suki?" The name sounded foreign on his lips, like a strange and beautiful word.
Still not taking her eyes off him, and continuing to move cautiously, she stood. Their eyes met as she lowered her own weapon and he knew he was right. He had only seen those sparkling green eyes a few times before. They continued standing, staring at each other, neither wanting to make a move. It was his fear- and probably hers- that moving would break whatever magical spell the moment had cast over them. At last, she spoke.
"Sokka?" Her tone was one of disbelief and heavy with emotion. He nodded once, still unable to believe what was happening.
Tears fell from her eyes as she limped forward and suddenly he was holding her. To have her close again was almost too much, and soon he was crying too. She was skeletally thin and shook in his arms while they hugged like to separate would kill them both. Her hands locked around his neck while one of his hands wound into her hair. He didn't ever want to let her go; it didn't matter if fire nation soldiers or all manner of horrible creatures found them. As long as they were together, everything would be okay.
-Fin
A/N: I think I like this, though I'm not totally sold on the title. I have very little experience writing from the male P.O.V., so I just did my best. Hope you liked it too!