Disclaimer: If only the Harry Potter series was mine, but alas…

Little Girl

She doesn't keep a diary anymore.

She did a few years ago when she was a naive young girl, but Ginny is now a young woman. Since then she has grown old of such childish acts like keeping a diary.

Sometimes she picks up a notebook instinctively. She opens it with the intention of writing her thoughts, but she stops before writing her first word. She stops remembering that she is not a little girl.

She doesn't write on walls anymore.

When she was three, she had drawn a family portrait for her mum on the living room wall. Instead of pleasing her mother she had upset her. After a terrible scolding from Mrs. Weasley, the girl was made to scrub the walls clean. This punishment convinced Ginny that she had no such plans to do it again.

However that was until he encouraged her otherwise. He had his own plans that disregarded hers. What he had in mind consisted of her doing acts that she had been taught was not acceptable. Even so Ginny was impelled to please him. Making him happy was all that mattered to her. She loved the tender tone that his cold voice became as he complimented her obedience. Besides she was young and was not through with childish deeds like writing on walls.

Sometimes when she sees the chickens which are kept at the school, she fights the urge to slaughter and paint their blood in the hallway. Because she is no longer a little girl.

She doesn't cry anymore when he does not answer her pleas for him.

She used to weep longing for his voice and rough touch though he had long since abandoned her. Bitter tears fell stinging her cheeks because all she had left were memories of them together. She needed him.

Sometimes she yearns for hands to caress her, his hands. Sometimes she wishes to hear his voice whisper her name. Yet she is older now. She has lived so long without him she does not need him anymore.

She lost her childhood when she no longer was provoked to behave like a "silly little girl". She lost her innocense when Tom forsake her.

She does not search for him in the darkest rooms of the school anymore.

There was not a corridor that her green eyes did not leave unchecked. She never gave up hope that she would find him standing in the shadows with a smirk on his venemous lips asking her why she had taken so long. She never gave up the dream until she grew up realizing it was only a girl's fantasy.

She knows he isn't there...if he was he would have called out to her by now.

Sometimes she searches in the Daily Prophet for what the Dark Lord has accomplished. As she reads the article, her heart will clench in sorrow because he does not need her to aid him in his victories. The desolation of being tossed aside overwhelms her. Then she understands that a part of her will always remain a child.

She cannot shake how helpless and dependent she feels because he is not with her. She is weak to vanquish the childish impulses which had brought her so close to him. She wonders if she acts on the impulses if she will feel close to him once more.

Because of Tom she will forever be a foolish child.

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