It had been the happiest moment of their lives thus far. The storm had settled. The sun had shone from behind the clouds. And finally, for the first time in forever, Anna and Elsa were together, outside the castle walls, for the whole world to see. It was Elsa's first time performing magic for Arendelle's denizens. She had felt nervous until she remembered that Anna was there, right by her side. Elsa transformed the grounds of the castle's courtyard into smooth ice, and raised her hands in joy as she created a gentle snowfall in the cloudless blue sky.
"I like the open gates," Anna exclaimed as she made her way closer to Elsa, nearly slipping on the ice and stumbling forward. Elsa caught her hands and pulled her close.
"We are never closing them again," Elsa replied reassuringly as she helped Anna steady herself.
Anna smiled brighter, a look of appreciation and affection crossing her radiant features.
And Elsa, all those years ago, had truly believed she could keep the promise she had made.
Change happens slowly. Change, real change; the kind of change recorded in history books for years to come, doesn't just happen overnight. It's not sudden and swift. It's slow and heavy. It adds up over time. It's something that's painfully recognizable only in hindsight. Change isn't like an unforeseen avalanche; it's like one weightless snowflake after another, falling down to pile up, gradual and silent, until one day the world outside is white, and the windows and doors are barred with a snowfall that is so much heavier than it should be allowed to be.
If Elsa had to be honest with herself, she guessed that it must have started after enacting her restrictive trade agreement with Weselton. Money meant so much to so many people. They would do anything for it. Anything at all. If Elsa weren't so sick with anger, she might have pitied these poor people, who had spent the better half of ten years plotting and conspiring against her.
Ten years, and that summer day in Arendelle's courtyard was still so wonderfully fresh within her mind. The people of Arendelle had loved her, then. They had cherished her. They hadn't yet been fed, one bite at a time, the lies and secrets and truths of who their Queen really was; of what she did, with her very own sister , behind closed doors.
Even after her redemption, there were some doors that had to remain closed.
Love will thaw, and it certainly had. Love had thawed Elsa's frozen heart, and then love had thawed the frozen, budding flower of desire. That was a slower thaw, and nothing would have ever changed if Anna hadn't made the first move. It was their first Christmas together. That soft embrace, by the fire. Comforting and delicate and pure. Before Elsa knew what was happening, the moment blossomed and everything changed.
She would have been lying to say that she didn't think there would be any consequences in allowing herself this one thing; allowing herself to be happy; allowing herself to just be. There was always a consequence, and the time had come to face it, head on. One thing was certain. She would protect Anna, and see her dutiful love through 'til the end, wherever that end may lead.
Elsa takes one last look out upon their kingdom; upon Arendelle in the throes of winter. One last look, before the gates would be closed, and the windows shut, and the doors locked with that sickeningly familiar click. One question keeps repeating in her mind.
How had it come to this?
She already knows the answer.
She presses her fingertips against the window's clear glass. It feels cool against her skin. She presses harder. Her eyes narrow, only half concealing the luminously intense sapphire blue of them that shone in the reflection of the glass. She tries to brace herself. They would storm the gates by night fall. She imagines herself, out on the bridge leading to the castle, alone. The storm inside her, free to rage. Spikes of jagged ice, destruction in defense, splitting Arendelle apart.
Her bottom lip wavers, and she can feel her teeth pressing down upon the inside of her lip. She might draw blood, but at this point she can't find a reason to care.
"Elsa?"
Anna's voice breaches the cold silence. The beautiful tone of it, equal parts strength and concern, crosses over the abyss. The single word; the sound of her name upon her sister's lips, clears Elsa's mind. The violent tempest that had been developing within her dissipates like a fine mist. Her sister is here. Anna is here.
"Anna," Elsa responds, voice soft and fragile, as she turns away from the window and takes a step towards her.
Anna has already hurried forward to cross the gap between them, and it's not long before the two remaining members of Arendelle's royal family find each other in a powerful embrace.
"Are you okay-?"
"Are you okay-"
They ask the question in unison. Anna lifts her head off Elsa's shoulder and looks up at her with the brightest smile, and then she laughs.
"I guess that means we're okay enough to worry about each other," Anna's words drift out through Elsa's bedroom. Their bedroom, Elsa reminds herself. After all, considering the circumstances, why not call it what it truly was?
"I guess you're right," Elsa confirms warmly, but her voice sounds strained, and Anna, the one person who knows Elsa better than anyone, doesn't miss it.
"I.. um, Kai and the rest of the servants left, like we planned," Anna vaults into a rambling one-way conversation, as she tends to do when she's nervous, "Staging the escape was actually kind of fun? It was like a play. We got to dress everyone up. They practiced their lines. I was just like, wow, why are all these people working here at the castle?"
Elsa listens to her little sister smilingly, but her eyes hold a sadness that punctures Anna's heart.
"What I'm saying is, we should have started a theater troupe," and then, Anna lowers her voice, "Sorry, I'm rambling."
"We used to put on plays when we were little," Elsa replies encouragingly. This moment is all that matters to her. Talking to Anna. Listening to Anna. Watching Anna's eyes light up as she remembers. Holding Anna steadily in her arms. This was everything .
"Oh! I remember that!" Anna exclaims, voice rising and cheeks flushing pink with her excitement.
"We had Kai build us a little theater and we made puppets out of socks and gloves. We were both viking warriors; fighting dragons and eating chocolate. We'd make mama and papa watch. The plays dragged on forever. We had no idea how to end it," Anna fills the cold, dark room with the warmth of her voice.
"We didn't want it to end," Elsa's voice comes in, and what she had meant to say in mirth comes out with hopeless heartbreak.
Anna's eyes soften as she lifts one hand up to Elsa's cheek. Her fingers trace the arc of Elsa's jaw, descending to rest behind her neck and sending warm tingles up Elsa's spine.
"I'm sorry, Elsa." Anna's voice breaks the silence.
"Why are you sorry? I'm the one who..." Elsa replies, breath shaking.
"I… well, I mean, I'm sorry it's like this at all. I'm sorry that I couldn't keep us… a secret."
Elsa's hands had been resting on Anna's waist. Now, she pulls them up to Anna's shoulders, holding her steadily.
"Anna, it's not your fault. I'm the only who failed. I'm the one who promised..." but she can't finish. She slams her eyes shut to withhold her tears.
"Elsa," Anna says, and this time it's not a question. It's a command. Elsa feels the sound of Anna's voice pulling at her heart. She opens her eyes, and a tear slides down her cheek.
"Elsa, this isn't your fault, but it's still okay to cry, if you want."
Those are the words that do it. Anna's gentle reassurance sets Elsa's emotions free. The tears and the sobs come, and Elsa leans forward, crying into Anna's shoulder as it hits her. It finally hits her.
"Things won't ever be the same again," Elsa breathes. Her lips press against Anna's neck. Anna reaches up to stroke Elsa's hair, finding a curling strand between her fingers. The tenderness of her touch quiets Elsa's sobs.
"Things don't have to be the same, as long as we're together," Anna replies, and then, finding the courage, "We don't have to stay here. You don't have to try to protect me. I want…"
Elsa lifts her head, looking Anna in the eyes.
"But I'm the one who has powers. If they're going to storm the castle, then I-" Elsa's voice is powerful, but edged with frantic fright.
Elsa's gaze is so valiant that Anna almost wants to acquiesce, to let Elsa, her big sister, the cool one, the magical one, take the lead. A voice deep inside her heart screams at her to keep pushing.
"No! Elsa, please. Listen to me." Anna pauses, searching Elsa's face with hopeful eyes, "This isn't how I want things to end. Please !"
"I swore to never let anyone hurt you. I can't go back on that promise, Anna. I can't-" Elsa's voice is a solid block of ice, immovable; unchangeable. Stubbornly giving up on herself, for what? To save Anna? To prove her love? To keep a promise?
Anna quiets Elsa with a passionate kiss. Anna's lips are hungry and desperate. Elsa's heart is racing, her grip on Anna's shoulders tightening. When Anna finally pulls away, Elsa is breathless. Even after all these years, Anna's lips still shook her to the core, halting all thought.
"Let's just leave." Anna says then, quite simply.
"Leave… Arendelle? Leave it for good?" Elsa says the words in dumbstruck unsurety. She had never considered the thought.
"They don't want us here. Don't you see?"
"But our kingdom, our people…"
"...think we're monsters, Elsa."
"But, my duty. My responsibility. To Arendelle. To you ."
"No, damn it. I'm not letting you get all self righteous right now. You want to do something for me? Come with me. We'll escape,together ," she pauses, and leans in closer, so that their lips are mere inches apart. "Arendelle doesn't need you anymore, but I do ."
Elsa can't help but inch her head forward, pressing her lips against Anna's once more. It's gentle this time, cathartic. Anna feels it too. Elsa's yes. Elsa's final resignation as Queen. Her waning desire to prove her love via self-sacrifice drifting away as she presses her tongue inside her sister's mouth, pulling a moan from Anna's lips.
When they pull away, Anna is nearly shaking. Standing up to her sister takes so much mental energy. She's so strong . And yet, as Anna watches her, she notices that her sister is shaking too. She leans in, hugging her tightly.
"It's going to be okay, Elsa. We'll be okay."
True love. What was it, really? Even after all these years, Anna still wasn't sure she knew how to answer that question. What she did know, was the feeling of Elsa's reassuring smile as they pushed the castle's hidden back door open, and the feeling of Elsa's hand within her own as they approached the edge of the forest.
As the sisters head up the mountain together , Anna comes to a realization. Maybe true love isn't about self sacrifice, or proving yourself, or even keeping promises. Maybe it's just about being able to allow yourself to be happy. Maybe it's about being able to allow yourself to be, with the one person who you knew would be there for you, through it all.
Anna squeezes Elsa's hand. Elsa turns her head to look at her.
"I love you- "
"I love you-"
They say it in unison, returning each other's smiles.