A Christmas party was going on at the WBMA and everyone attended. The kids were having fun with the games and competitions held that night. But there was one person in particular who wasn't having much fun, nor was he taking part in anything.
Samuru stood at the balcony with his usual clothes on, with the addition of a yellow scarf. The season's snow was laid out in blankets, covering everything with a white layer. He exhaled a breath he didn't know he was holding. The warmer air from his lungs looked like mist before it dispersed into the night.
There were just too many events that happened in his life that wasn't supposed to happen. Like Dragold and Rudy going berserk, like Crestland and Kamon and Ryoma's affairs, like his dad being just so terribly harsh on the boy.
His dad.
Many of the problems with Samuru stemmed from his dad. His introverted personality, his inability to take things lightly, him being very uptight with himself, him always being oh-so-careful with his actions and whether he was being a nuisance to others.
Yes, most of them started out with his dad. Being an archaeologist meant that his dad needed to go from one place to another all over the country. And Samuru was forced to go along with him, as he had no mother to take care of him at home. As a result, he had no chance to make any long-term friends; they always moved before any friendships could take root.
But it wasn't like Samuru was born ready to explore caves, kayak down rapids and follow his dad all the way through a whole field of snow. He was just a kid after all. A kid forced to traverse the country by his own dad.
There were times when he'd accidentally screw up while doing something, or when he just couldn't keep up with his dad's pace. When that happened, his dad would harshly, without fully understanding the boy's situation, scold him. The words "You nuisance! You're only going to slow me down like this! I should just leave you behind here to fend for yourself if you screw up again," were etched deeply into Samuru's mind. And he'd do his best not to do anything wrong ever again. But of course he inevitably would have and even when his dad didn't do anything like he said he would to the child, Samuru still, until this day, feared those words.
He was a kid. How could you say something like that and not think that the gullible little child wouldn't take it to heart?
As he thought of those words over and over again, combined with the harshness of his dad's voice, made him almost want to just cry into the night sky. All he ever wanted for Christmas, the same thing on his secret Christmas wish list every year, was a normal childhood. But it was all too late for that, since he had already become who he is today.
The longer he stood there, the more memories of his childhood came to him. As well as his dad's sky-high expectations for him. Whether it was studies, sports, art, even common sense, he was forced to be the best, to be number 1.
It wasn't like he didn't want to be the top either, because he enjoyed the feeling of supressing his classmates year after year, but his dad wanted more than that. For example, mathematics.
Even if he was trained to be the best in everything, and he usually is, he is still human. Making a careless mistake once in a blue moon was inevitable, but did his dad care that Samuru was still using his own mind and not a calculator's? No. Most definitely not.
He was usually scolded by something like "How could you get this wrong?!" or "How could you have made this mistake?!" or even "This question is so simple yet you screwed it up. You're making me sick." And every time he tried to defend himself, he would only get scolded further, so much that eventually, he decided to keep his mouth shut at all times and just let the scolding sink in without a word. And if because of a careless addition mistake, or an accidentally misspelt word that he couldn't get the top score in his class for that subject, his scolding would only get worse. Not that he didn't try lying to his dad about how he was the top-scorer when he wasn't, because he did, but it back-fired heavily when his dad found out all the scores from his teachers. He wasn't allowed to even enter the house for a night, instead he made-do with the mini swing in the car-porch to let his spinning, confused head rest. And his dad only allowed him entry the next morning just before he went off to do research on a specimen he found and placed in his office.
Samuru watched his grades and the words that came out of his mouth extra carefully after a cold night out in the open. If other kids had lied, would they have had the same punishment if they were found out? Samuru doesn't think so.
Yes, his childhood had been cruel. Far too cruel at that. Why couldn't he have a normal life like any other child? Sometimes he wondered if he was nothing more than a test subject for an alien to test out a human's mentality when they were treated unfairly. Everything in his life seemed to point that way.
The questions unanswered seemed to indicate something about his past that might have been quite dark. Something about his mother that he never knew about, perhaps. He remembered asking his dad about it one day when he was younger, and his dad replied, "I know that there are many things about your mother that you want to know, Samuru, but these things that you want to know, you don't need to know. Do you understand?" But when Samuru tried, in the most polite and careful way, to press for more information, his dad only told him to drop the subject in a tone harsher than necessary.
There were only so many things he could talk to his dad about without being scolded. It hurt to know that your loved one is actually hiding a secret or two from you about your other half. How he wished he had a normal life like the others.
The tears came without permission and they decided to fall from his eyes. He was being a baby about his childhood and he didn't know why. It clearly wasn't his fault he was thrust into this life, but he should have accepted it by now. So why was he still crying about unchangeable things?
"Samuru, what are you doing out here all by yourself?" he heard an innocent voice speak. Immediately, he did his best to clean up the fact that he was crying, but more tears just came and ended up falling even more.
"R-riki, I…" Samuru responded to his first and best friend's question, but he couldn't tell him the reason. He cried even harder and attempted to hide his face behind his scarf, turning away as his breathing got considerably heavier. Riki was worried, and walked up to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Samuru flinched and turned away from Riki.
"P-please just l-leave me alone. I n-need some time b-by myself," he managed to stutter through his crying.
"But Samuru, you know me, I'm never going to let go of you when you're like this," Riki replied to his friend's request. Just those soft words made Samuru feel like pushing Riki back inside but he couldn't. He didn't have the strength to do so.
"I t-told you to l-leave me be," he managed to get out in between his crying, still not turning to face Riki. Feeling a little frustrated at Samuru's stubbornness, he spun the other roughly so that he would face him. His left hand grabbed Samuru's face, forcing him to look in his eyes against his will.
"Samuru, I told you, I'm not going anywhere until you tell me the reason why you're out here crying all by yourself," he said, sounding harsher than he wanted to be. Just then, he saw it. A glint of fear hidden in Samuru's eyes. It was hard to detect fear in his friend, what with his ever-serious face, but his eyes were incapable of lying. Samuru was afraid, of what, he has yet to find out.
"I'm sorry," Riki apologized as he let go of his friend. He stepped back, but Samuru made a move of his own. He hugged Riki, burying his face into his shoulder, crying fully. Riki was shocked for a moment, but then quickly wrapped his arms around Samuru, patting his back. Maybe the fear he saw was the fear of losing the people around him. Just maybe, Samuru needed a little support from all the people around him. And Riki was willing to give him all the help he needed.
"I won't go anywhere, so just hold on for as long as you like," he said.
Samuru pulled from his crying to look at his friend, and saw the eagerness in him that showed he was willing to stay by his side no matter what. He was beyond touched, and he felt, for once, that he belonged where he was, with Riki. He stared for quite a while, and finally, he laid lips on Riki after meaning to do so for a long, long time.