Artificial: Love, Friendship and Coffee

by Betrayed Dreams

Haruno likes to waste time in a cafe with three people: Yukino, Yui and Hachiman. (Long Oneshot) (Re-upload) (Complete)

Don't own Oregairu.

Artificial: Love, Friendship and Coffee.

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Hikigaya Hachiman admitted he was afraid of many things and he felt no shame in further admitting that he was utterly terrified of the beauty simply known as Yukinoshita Haruno.

At a first glance one could easily mistake her for a young woman with great features and an aura of elegance and nobility though having a certain easy going character and a getting along attitude which made her a likeable person in comparison to her younger sister, Yukinoshita Yukino. However most people skimmed her outer surface and failed to delve deeper and though they made a wise decision in choosing not to jump into an unknown abyss without needless prodding, Hikigaya Hachiman failed to grasp this luxury like many other things in his life.

Unexplained circumstances and an incidental meeting which increased over prolonged periods of time made him look in vain for a being who was Yukinoshita Haruno and not Yukinoshita Yukino. Former was an embodiment of perfection and a goal to attain by a younger sister with the same blood running in their veins. Related by blood, may be but Yukinoshita Yukino made it her vendetta to surpass her older sister and though her endeavours were mostly limited to herself, over a few months her actions were causing needless trouble in the service club.

Hikigaya Hachiman was less bothered about the service club than his own damaged psyche which begged for a moment of peace and calm. Yukinoshita Yukino had somehow considered Hikigaya Hachiman her enemy after Hiratsuka Shizuka made the mistake of pointing out that most of the requests brought before the service club was solved by Hikigaya Hachiman and not Yukinoshita Yukino and Yuigahama Yui.

Now Yuigahama Yui was a nice girl and she took this piece of information in her stride but one Yukinoshita Yukino failed to remain in a congratulatory mood and thus Hikigaya Hachiman found his serenity utterly destroyed by an Ice Queen who was on the verge of melting like a poorly constructed snow woman on summer.

Yuigahama Yui was made in charge of comforting Yukinoshita Yukino and for the time being Hikigaya Hachiman decided to make a tactical retreat. Their next request would either make or break this situation entirely and for lack of a better word he was trying to fix this situation by fixing the request.

Hikigaya Hachiman employed his means and came to a logical solution. Their next request needed to be artificial, in fact it had to appear like a problem but in reality it would have to be a no brainer. However there was a problem and that problem was none other than the brilliant Yukinoshita Yukino. She could look underneath the underneath and though he had faith in his own rotten mind and his less than desirable methods, he found himself wary about going directly against Yukinoshita Yukino in a battle.

Without a doubt there had to be a battle, maybe a metaphorical one and not a physical one. He had reservations over hitting a girl but he wondered whether Yukinoshita Yukino would give him the same courtesy. She had certain martial arts prowess of her own and he often wondered whether she was only waiting for her chance, waiting for him to fumble, so that she could beat the living snot out of his rotten little body.

Now his rotten brain and his damaged mind could take any verbal insult and let it slide over him like clear water but Hikigaya Hachiman was not certain over his own body and its reaction to severe blows. He barely survived his sensei Hiratsuka Shizuka on a bad day and out of everything unholy in this world, Hikigaya Hachiman had no wish of ever meeting a certain Yukinoshita Yukino out for blood, his blood to be exact.

Thus he needed a solution or as this current situation demanded he needed a problem, a problem which was not real but which could interest Yukinoshita Yukino and make her capable of single handedly solving it without needing any help.

High School life was full of problems and teenagers made it a habit of making everything miserable and with such information loitering around his mind Hikigaya Hachiman hoped he would get himself dragged into a problem in no time.

He mentally laughed at the irony of his situation. Most people tried to run away from trouble and here he was going out searching for it. He took his time finding a vending machine inside school premises and he was about to insert the money needed to buy a can of Maxx Coffee when the final bell chimed a number of times, announcing the end of school.

Hikigaya Hachiman breathed a sigh of relief. He was not looking forward to going back to his little club room and though looking at a heavy chested Yuigahama Yui comforting a flat chested Yukinoshita Yukino filled his perverted mind with certain surreal imagery, he found himself rallying with rationality and thus he decided to head outside for the time being.

He was carrying his school bag when he left the club and he was glad that he did because if it meant returning to his club room once again to find both of them eyeing him with fresh venom in their eyes, he would certainly die a little inside.

Yukinoshita Yukino made him his enemy and he was certain by now that she had forced Yuigahama Yui do join her team. Both of them were good friends and they had singled him out as their common enemy.

Hikigaya Hachiman found his chances of survival dwindling. He could already imagine him getting poisoned by certain culinary dished prepared by Yuigahama Yui. He was worried whether his stomach could digest anymore burnt up charcoal by calling it proper food. Maybe he could make a dying wish to Yukinoshita Yukino and have her cook him something utterly divine before he was forced to consume something utterly putrid.

However chances of having Yukinoshita Yukino cook for him was next to zero. She would rather cook an entire buffet for an army of cats then feed him a few morsels even if he was on the verge of dying of hunger. Now she was his enemy and he felt himself cringe at the number of possibilities available to her to take his measly little life.

Maybe she would strangle him. No, not her style. She preferred a clean and methodical kill, though on a certain level of cold cruelty, she might find it enjoyable to play with her food like the kitten she is before eating it alive.

Hikigaya Hachiman found this very interesting and though his ideas began to grow darker by every step he took, outside on the clean streets, his mind presented him with various scenarios, the next one always worse than the previous one and finally he came up with something utterly simple and fitting for Yukinoshita Yukino.

Castration

Now there was an idea of punishment which made him digress. Hikigaya Hachiman would have to admit this idea had its own merits. Yukinoshita Yukino was always going on about how she was worried about the number of women who could come under his terrible influence and she was also highly sensitive about the perverted things he would do them if he ever had the chance to accost them alone in a deserted street.

Hikigaya Hachiman often wondered what kind of novels she read during their time at the service club, and though he may never know, he was certain her reading made her imagination stray over various dangerous thoughts. For one thing, he kept his perversions mostly to himself and never displayed anything remotely perverted or disturbing during his time spent in the Service Club. He was careful or else he would never here the end of it and though he had to admit that he often blushed at some certain sly comments made by a certain foxy kohai, he always treated all women with respect.

Except Yukinoshita Haruno

Hikigaya Hachiman treated her with absolute apprehension. He avoided her and though their paths crossed several times over several occasions, he was certain she would never find him anything more than a plaything to be pawed at before discarding it like yesterdays garbage. He found her a complete and utter fake, a woman as artificial as robotic automatons but with good behaviour and a carefully crafted façade.

Hikigaya Hachiman was certain Yukinoshita Yukino was behaving in an odd manner because of getting outclassed by him and his methods in solving several requests but he had never looked at this situation from another angle.

Yukinoshita Haruno might be the one causing problems to Yukinoshita Yukino and having no other way to vent her troubled feelings, she was taking it out all on him and anyone who crossed her, which again was limited to him and only him.

Hikigaya Hachiman sighed. He was out looking for a problem and like he expected he had found one without trying too hard. However calling Yukinoshita Haruno a problem would be a gross under valuation. Calling her a problem is like calling a natural calamity a problem. She was something, someone he would try not to interfere with. Someone who could make Yukinoshita Yukino and Hayama Hayato uncomfortable was not someone to be trifled with and try as he might he was thinking about visiting the lioness in her den.

Hikigaya Hachiman had a death wish and for the time being he named her Yukinoshita Haruno.

By some misplaced self delusion fuelled by lack of sleep or plain vaguely explained suicidal tendencies, out of nowhere meeting her seemed like a logical step. The only problem was it was anything but logical, in fact it was completely logical and before he could make anymore stupid mistakes he discovered one thing which would foil his plan before it even began.

He didn't know where she lived.

Yukinoshita Haruno was a being, a calamity and they didn't leave a return address, in fact they gave out no address, they just dropped by when it was convenient for them or when they were in a cruel mood and wanted to mess with people leading dull and ordinary lives like him.

Thus, Hikigaya Hachiman was safe, he could comfort himself by saying he did try and find Yukinoshita Haruno but in the end he was unsuccessful as expected. Now the only thing left was come with a good excuse to escape club activities until Yukinoshita Yukino found her bearings. With the way how things were heading, this might be a while and unless he came underneath another limousine while saving another do, he was certain he would have to return to club room the very next day to face the Ice Queen and her little side kick the Nice Girl.

Hikigaya Hachiman found himself getting thirsty thinking about it and noticing a nearby café which by his experience was a calm and peaceful place where one could enjoy some peace and quiet onto themselves without bumping into anyone annoying. He already had an essay to resubmit and what better way was there to re-write an essay while enjoying another can of Maxx Coffee.

He went by the vending machine, inserted the necessary amount of money needed to take out the canned beverage and afterwards he took a tentative sip while keeping his eyes closed.

"Yahallo Hikigaya-kun! Fancy meeting you here."

Don't worry Hachiman! You are only hearing voices. You know when you are thinking about someone and completely scared to meet them yet out of sheer stupidity you say well what's the worst that could happen, well that is happening now. You are just hearing voice.

"Eh? Hikigaya-kun" he felt a finger poking him in the cheek repeatedly, "Are you not going to say hello to your favourite onee-san."

Hikigaya Hachiman opened his eyes and without a doubt he was staring into trouble. Clearly, some God was having a bad day and they were just making him miserable to feel better. He had set out to find Yukinoshita Haruno, then half way through his aimless wandering he had found he was not nearly brave enough and neither stupid nor self-hating enough to find her and for once in his life he felt like he was in control of everything and was making a wise decision.

And now he was staring at a demoness with a beautiful face and a charismatic smile knowing they were sadistic in nature and cruel in intent.

"Hello Yukinoshita-san." he greeted her emotionlessly.

"Well hello to you too. Oh! Is that Maxx Coffee you are having?"

"Y-yes."

"Well then I would like some."

Hikigaya Hachiman moved away from the vending machine to better accommodate Yukinoshita Haruno but she made no attempt towards taking out her money and buying any beverage. Now Hikigaya Hachiman had learned certain etiquettes while growing up courtesy of his father and mother and during this particular occasion he decided to follow one of their teachings.

"Um, Yukinoshita-san, do you perhaps want me to buy you something?"

She immediately perked up on hearing this and her eyes began to glisten with a new found enthusiasm.

"My, my Hikigaya-kun, who would have thought you would be so chivalrous? I never remember Yukino ever talking about this with me."

Hikigaya Hachiman quirked an eyebrow upwards upon hearing this and he further moved away from her during their little conversation.

"You mean to say I come up during conversation?" he asked with only a hint of sarcasm.

Yukinoshita Haruno smiled and moved closer towards him, "Why of course Hikigaya-kun. Haven't I told you before I find you interesting and no matter how much my little Yukino disagrees, she finds you intriguing as well."

Hikigaya Hachiman was growing slightly worried over the decreasing amount of space between them and though to an onlooker this looked like a perfect distance between two people having a normal conversation, suffice to say none of them had the misfortune of meeting Yukinoshita Haruno or him for that matter.

He took a look around his surroundings. This café contained a handful of waiters and even less amount of customers during the time being. There were a number of chairs and table available for usage outside the store and he felt reassured at having them at his disposal. Running from inside a café might prove problematic but running from the outside was quite easy and though he would make a little scene, he would easily forgive himself for escaping with his life. Moreover he had checked earlier and fortunately Yukinoshita Haruno was wearing a pair of high heels and it was common knowledge that women find it completely impossible to run in heels.

"Hikigaya kun, are you checking out my legs by any chance?"

"N-no."

She had caught him and now she was about to go for the kill.

"It is impossible to lie to your onee-san, you know?" she lightly touched his chest with her manicured index finger and moved further into his personal space "Or is it perhaps, you don't like it when I refer to myself as your onee-san, hmm?"

"No I don't."

"Then would you prefer something a little more intimate." she breathed over his nose and gave a haunting whisper, "would you like me to call myself your Haruno."

Hikigaya Hachiman took another step back and Yukinoshita Haruno took a step forward. He was surprised that no one else was paying attention to them, was this a common occurrence in this café that anyone could intimidate anyone in such an open manner and no one would stand up to save the one getting intimidated. Would he need to scream in order to appear more like a damsel in distress?

Hikigaya Hachiman was clearly out of any fresh ideas and hence he utilised the tried and tested method of changing the topic completely by returning back to a previous strand of conversation

"I wasn't looking at your legs." he said, "I was admiring your high heels."

He realised immediately that he had made a mistake when Yukinoshita Haruno gave him a seductive smile and took a hold of one of his hands.

"Aren't you getting bold Hikigaya-kun? I never expected you to flirt with me."

He shook his head severely, "I wasn't flirting."

She grinned in an equally sinister fashion yet still kept a firm grasp over her natural charisma, "Then perhaps, you were trying to change the topic?"

Her eyes grew emotionless in a fraction of a second and he felt his hands grow clammy with sweat but she still kept a firm grasp on his hand, not letting him get away. Now, Hikigaya Hachiman found himself in a bit of a problem, on top of the larger problem which was meeting Yukinoshita Haruno herself, without wanting to. Well, now that would be a lie, he did want to meet her but then he grew a moral compass and a self-preservation metre, which was telling him he was either drugged to even consider it in the first place or else he was going completely insane.

But now was the dilemma and though he could admit that he was indeed trying to change the topic like she picked up from his conversation but then again Hikigaya Hachiman was worried about the repercussions of his answer. A little lie hurt no one but a little bit of truth could be world shattering and nothing made him more self conscious of his situation then having Yukinoshita Haruno within an inch of his face.

In the end he gave in and went with the truth. Lying to her was futile anyway "Yes, I was trying to change the topic Yukinoshita-san."

She kept her eyes fixated on his, "And why were you trying to change the topic Hikigaya-kun?"

He kept his voice level, "Because we have more important matters to discuss."

"Really?" her voice carried a hint of velvety derision, "And what might that be?"

He swallowed down the urge to gulp, "It is regarding your sister."

She raised an eyebrow in interest, "What about her?"

Now Hikigaya Hachiman might be intimidated by this situation which was going completely out of any formulated plan but even at this moment his rotten brain kicked in and his dead fish eyes saw the underlying message delivered unbeknownst to her, simply by the tone of her voice.

"Something, tells me you already know something about it Yukinoshita-san."

She was trying to make this interesting, trying to have him spell everything out "And why should I?"

"Because you are her older sister and nothing escapes your notice." He found a certain level of confidence in his voice and once again he realised it was because he was telling her the truth.

Yukinoshita Haruno found this entire conversation immensely enjoyable, "Pot calling the kettle black, eh Hikigaya kun?"

He could say nothing to that but then he felt a tug on his hand.

"What are you doing?" he asked confused.

Yukinoshita Haruno had snatched his canned beverage of Maxx Coffee from him and was now holding it firmly by using both her hands.

"I'll take this as compensation for trying to change the subject. You were trying to buy me something before and I decided this would suffice my thirst for now."

He decided to protest by using logic, "But I already took a sip from it."

"So?" she asked flatly while her eyes danced with mirth

"So, so, It-it, would-" he was unable to complete his sentence without stuttering and hearing this she chuckle to herself in a very womanly fashion which to anyone else would seem beautiful but to him it felt incredibly forced.

She brought the canned beverage to her lips, gave him a small wink and then took a sip from his drink. After having her fill, she gave a small sigh.

"It's very sweet."

Again he had nothing else to say and he left it to her to carry out their conversation.

"Let's have a seat Hikigaya-kun. We have a lot to talk about"

And once again her voice changed only by a fraction.

Yukinoshita Haruno was sitting directly opposite to Hikigaya Hachiman in a small sitting arrangement of a couple of chairs and a small circular table outside this café which Hikigaya Hachiman promised to never visit again. Apparently Yukinoshita Haruno could get away without ordering anything and she took advantage of her façade to make Hikigaya Hachiman look pleasant enough to not be booted out from this premise without ordering anything as well.

He did buy something when he first arrived at this café and it was a can of Maxx coffee from a vending machine which was fixed to the outer wall of the café but currently that particular can of Maxx coffee belonged to none other than Yukinoshita Haruno who once again took a small sip that made him cringe a little on his sit.

"Are we a bit uncomfortable Hikigaya-kun?" she asked innocently.

"No, just wondering whether we can get on with our conversation without further ado."

"I'm not stopping you" she replied and he took this as her permission to continue.

"Your younger sister is acting all weird."

She chuckled at this, "What else is new Hikigaya kun? Isn't that why you are attracted to her? Your weirdness balances out her weirdness and make both of you look like a cute couple."

He disagreed, "We are not a couple."

"Due to lack of trying" She took another sip from his canned cup of coffee making him lose his bearing for a while by once again putting him on the back foot.

"We are not trying at all. You have been fed wrong information Yukinoshita-san."

"Hmm? It seems Hayama has become completely useless these days or has he?"

Hikigaya Hachiman realised she was dropping his name to get a reaction from him but sadly he was not completely clueless at least not to that extent. "Was he ever useful before? Our club handled a couple of requests from him which should have been a piece of cake for a guy like him."

"Do I detect a note of bitterness in your tone Hikigaya kun?"

"I'm always bitter."

She smiled, "That you are. Then perhaps a note of jealousy then?"

He snorted "Not exactly my strong suit."

Now she was looking at her intently, "You would be surprised how many people can grow jealous over almost nothing. It makes them hostile and act strange and by the end they make a complete mockery out of themselves."

Hikigaya Hachiman wanted to fully comprehend her but he was finding this hard to believe, "You mean to say that your younger sister, Yukinoshita Yukino, is jealous of me?"

He watched her expression crumble from coldness into joviality like frosting over a Christmas cake and he would have to agree that between the two sisters, she laughed to her heart's content without any reservation.

"I love it when you play dumb." she smiled while wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. Those were hard to fake and he felt completely at ease with providing with fodder for her daily source of entertainment. This was way better than being plain old cannon fodder for her war preparations any day and there was no doubt in his mind that both sisters were engaged in a shadowy war which started the moment both of them had to share an apartment as per their mother's wishes. Only problem was the younger sister was involving him in their little family feud and sadly he found himself, unable to escape this situation, like how he was unable to escape from this very café, even though he was sitting outside and he had a clear advantage over this demoness who was wearing high heels compared to his own school shoes which were more suitable in running away from a potential crime scene then her choice of footwear.

"You are looking at my legs again Hikigaya kun." She said with a brilliant smile, "Now I know my little sister has a fighting chance and here I thought she would lose out to the more endowed ones like myself."

And just to emphasis her point she unbuttoned the topmost button of her cardigan and though she was trying to be lewd in order to make him feel more irksome, sadly he found himself growing more and more enticed by this forbidden fruit.

He shook his head to clear his mind and voiced his own opinion without sounding very confident, "This is not a competition and I'm not some kind of prize."

"But you are." She said firmly, "You already know it otherwise you wouldn't come here looking for me?"

For a moment there he felt like she could read his mind and that particular idea would give him nightmares for many nights to come.

"I didn't come looking for you." He said trying to convince himself while knowing it was a lie.

It was in fact not completely a lie though. He had left Sobu High planning to meet up with her and luckily he never knew where she lived so he changed him mind. Admitting he was about to commit suicide by visiting her willingly in the first place would forever be forgotten in his rotten brain through this particular traumatic experience.

"Didn't you? Then why did you come to this particular café when you already know this is one of my favourite places to hang out."

Now how did he forget about this? This should have been the most important piece of information to remember along with the names of all his family members. He could live without knowing his name but forgetting about the curse of this café, proved to be grave mistake. Was this some form of subconscious and subliminal messaging which made his body develop a mind of its own and replace his more trusted rotten brain? If that was the case then he would get a lobotomy first thing tomorrow but for now he had to convince her of something which he himself was not completely convinced of at all.

"I didn't come looking for you. It was a coincidence."

"Well that's a good thing." she said jovially, "Due to this little coincidence I now know that our Hikigaya-kun has a thing for beautiful long legs." She crossed her legs resulting in her skirt hiking up only by a fraction but he kept his eyes glued onto the table,

"I don't like long legs." He said

"Now that was not nearly convincing. Try harder."

"I was looking at your heels and wondering whether I could run away from you on foot."

She smiled in a manner reminiscent to a carnivore finding a new slab of fresh, raw meat without trying to hard or working too hard.

"You are welcome to try. I won't stop you."

Without needing any further instructions he got up from his seat and took a couple of steps towards freedom.

"Goodbye Hikigaya kun and good luck dealing with your club mates"

She spoke it with so much enthusiasm that he himself believed she was wishing him good luck but he knew otherwise and returned to his seat. This time around she was silent and he knew she was waiting for him to begin their conversation anew.

He started with something already discussed but less understood, "So you think this is some sort of competition where I'm some of sort of prize to be won by the competitors?"

"You already know the answer to that." she said in a bored manner of speaking

"Who are the competitors?"

"Who indeed" she said sarcastically

This was not good, he was losing her attention and if he kept this up then he would surely lose her interest and get nothing out of her. He could already think of one thing to ask which was sure to attract her attention. "Then what are you?"

He was right as expected and the smile she gave him was more than an answer, "I'm the wild card."

Hikigaya Hachiman would find no end to his trouble and Yukinoshita Haruno would see to it in an entertaining fashion. However that didn't mean he wouldn't make the most of this little predicament in the hopes of turning this to his advantage.

"Tell me more about this competition. It is causing me more than enough problems with your younger sister and now I think she has included Yuigahama into her ranks."

"How foolish of her." she scoffed, "But then again, this is so much like your club. Joining ranks and closing in on each other while knowing not everyone will be there for the finale."

Hikigaya Hachiman found this confusing but he decided to air one of his doubts.

"Have you been speaking to Hiratsuka-sensei by any chance?"

"She calls me whenever my little sister gives her worries." Upon noticing his look of betrayal she further clarified, "Shizuka-chan is a great teacher but her worrying can be instrumental in many instances, this one in particular. You will see?"

"Will I?" he asked contemptfully

"Of course, you are the key player in this little act." she took another sip from his can of Maxx Coffee and then pushed the almost finished can towards his direction till his fingers were touching them over the table. He lifted the can and swirled it a little. There was little bit of coffee left.

"You want me to throw this away?" he asked.

"No I want you to drink the remaining coffee."

He looked at him without blinking for a moment and she returned his gaze with an amused expression. He blinked first and gave in.

"Are you serious?" he asked exasperated.

"Absolutely. Finish this drink and you can leave."

"I can leave regardless." He said.

"Can you? Then you would have left a while ago. But here you are."

He looked at the can and never before had a can of Maxx Coffee had caused him this much problem. Without thinking too much he finished the remaining content in one final gulp. After he made sure it was fully empty, he threw the can in a nearby dustbin.

He looked at her with new found wariness.

"Can I leave now?" he asked in a flat tone.

"Oh you can but after you give me a little wave."

He felt this piece of instructing highly dubious but he got up on his feet and moved his hand around in a waving fashion. She looked at him with a big smile which promised something uncertain.

"Do it again but this time turn around."

He was feeling stupid by the second but he did as instructed. He turned around at waved at some random imaginary strangers but after a moment of waving he found one problem. Not all of them were imaginary and certainly not all of them were strangers.

Hikigaya Hachiman could notice Yukinoshita Yukino and Yuigahama Yui anywhere and at anytime and by the looks of their shocked expression they recognised him as well.

"Oh, what a wonderful surprise!" Yukinoshita Haruno exclaimed while sitting on her chair in this café, which Hikigaya Hachiman was planning to demolish in the near future through various unsavoury means, "I wonder whether both of them saw us sharing your can of Maxx Coffee."

By the looks of it they certainly did.

Hikigaya Hachiman had made many bad choices in his entire life but never before did he regret drinking a can of Maxx Coffee, until today.

Maxx Coffee was his first love and compared to most inanimate objects incapable of returning his feelings, a yellow recyclable can containing a caffeine enriched beverage, made his life a little sweeter than expected.

Having to share his can of coffee was an uninviting experience which he chose to never repeat but chances of those happening in his near future were dwindling by the seconds. He licked his lips in dread and found a different taste which momentarily distracted him from his approaching demise. Maxx Coffee, its taste and texture, was imbedded in his memory by repeated intake, throughout his high school life and though times changed, manufactures never found it worth the risk to experiment with the ingredients of this highly marketable product.

However today, it tasted different, there was a hint, a barely noticeable hint, a change in taste, which was difficult to place and his memory found no reference to this sudden modification on his favourite beverage.

"Ne, Hikigaya-kun can you guess the flavour of my lipstick?"

He had forgotten about her but a gentle tug at his elbow made him aware of his situation. Yukinoshita Haruno was sitting in her chair, he was standing before her like a loyal subject and behind him was approaching an army of two consisting of both his club mates namely Yukinoshita Yukino and Yuigahama Yui.

Hikigaya Hachiman was an innocent victim about to be caught in a crossfire between two warring sibling engaged in a blood feud. Yukinoshita Yukino seemed to have recruited Yuigahama Yui in her side and by his lack of judgement and incapability to take in his surroundings, he had given an impression that he has forsaken her and joined her natural born enemy. All misunderstandings rose from a harmless act of sharing and sipping a can of Maxx Coffee which was tainted by Yukinoshita Haruno.

"Hikigaya-kun, are you waiting for your club mates to hear your answer?"

He was trapped between three beauties in a decrepit café and yet there was a feeling of dread coursing in his veins. Many hapless high schoolers might want to be in his shoes but most of them would fail to understand the gravity of this situation.

Beauty is easily mistaken.

A moth flies into a flame upon getting attracted by its heated beauty. A fiery grave waits this winged insect and unfortunately its brethren follow its example. He was a loner, he followed no one and yet his footseteps led him to a demoness and currently he was hoping in vain for two crusaders to forgive him and turn a blind eye towards his indiscretions. He made an oath to reduce his intake of Maxx Coffee and with bated breath he waited for Yukinoshita Yukino and Yuigahama Yui to bridge this distance between them.

Blue eyes placed guilt and crossed arms over a flat chest. Atmospheric pressure was momentarily lowered by several centigrade, "Nee-san, you should refrain from sending me texts during service club hours in near future. Your continued interference is affecting my abilities to carry out several requests."

Yukinoshita Haruno smiled after receiving this cold greeting from her younger sister. She tilted her head sideways and looked passed her younger sister and drifted her gaze over a pinkette with a bubbly demeanour and an outgoing personality, "Is it true Gahama-chan? Was I interfering with your precious club activities?"

Yuigahama Yui bristled a little and her demeanour further deflated but niceties won over and she was back to her bubbly self after choosing to ignore a jibe at her name by methodical mispronunciation, "N-no, no Haruno-san! Not at all." She corrected herself after getting a glare from her club president, "But, your text was kinda scary and it got us all worried. So, you know, we kinda left in a hurry and this is something we have never done. Hiratsuka sensei might get super mad at us for skipping on club activities. Hehe." An uneasy chuckle dried in her throat and she placed her eyes on ground level refusing to elevate them to look at a smiling face full of merriment.

"But Gahama-san, there was nothing scary about the text I sent. Was there Yukino-chan?"

Yukinoshita Yukino stood dormant and ignored this question all together. Her blue eyes darted over a dead fish eyed loner for a fraction of a second before returning back to settle over a middle ground located between her elder sister and her female club mate.

"Gahama-chan, has Yukino-chan showed you the text?" Yukinoshita Haruno asked

"Um, no but she said it was about-" Yuigahama Yui closed her mouth abruptly and once again a loner with an ahoge was responsible for this incompletion in a normal conversation. She looked at Hikigaya Hachiman and then at Yukinoshita Yukino but neither of them seem to be wanting to help her escape from this diabolical demoness.

"Did you forget how to speak Gahama-chan?" Yukinoshita Haruno mused.

Yuigahama Yui opened her mouth but no coherent words escaped her lips. She was reduced to a bundle of downtrodden helplessness.

"…Her name is Yuigahama."

Hikigaya Hachiman spoke with a tint of bitterness in his voice aimed not towards this powerless nice girl but towards this unmatched villainess. Yukinoshita Haruno was waiting for him to turn on her and her own voice carried a liquorice taste to mare the underline overtone of malevolence. "I was hoping you would correct my mistake Hikigaya kun. What took you so long?"

"I was busy pretending to be one with the furniture." he said derisively

"And it seems you were successful in your attempt. It is as if you were almost forgotten in our little conversation."

"I find it better that way."

"You would, now wouldn't you?" Yukinoshita Haruno jested, "But this brings us to our previous conversation. I believe I asked you a question which you refused to answer. But now that you have an audience, I think it would be better to finally settle this matter once and for all." She inched towards him in an unsettling fashion, "What do my lips taste like?"

Hikigaya Hachiman was aware of this disturbing closeness. He flinched and moved backwards, his eyes showcasing a sense of worry and alarm. Yukinoshita Yukino clenched her fists and moved to stand directly behind her elder sister. There was a violent look on her elegant features.

Yukinoshita Haruno carried on unperturbed and continued to get uncomfortably close to our loner "Do they taste like apples?" she said moistening her lips. Hikigaya Hachiman eyed Yuigahama Yui. She was shrinking back into a shell of her own fragility and trying to close her eyes. There was a light tremble running through her body suppressing various outbursts. Yukinoshita Haruno ignored her and ploughed through "Do they taste like oranges?"

Hikigaya Hachiman took one step back and his right foot collided with one of the chairs making him stumble a little which made him lose his focus and blurt out a reply, "Strawberries."

Yukinoshita Haruno halted her progression altogether "Excuse me?"

Hikigaya Hachiman was painted into a corner. He had spoken something he could never take back. A taste which he was unable to place before while finishing his shared can of Maxx Coffee finally registered in his taste buds. "Your lips," he repeated himself, "they taste like strawberries."

Yukinoshita Haruno showed an emotion, an uncommon and untraceable emotion but within a moment a fake smile graced her lips. "Good guess"

She elevated herself and took her position in between both of his female club mates while having him smack dab in the middle of their little skirmish. All of them were standing. Hikigaya Hachiman was the farthest away from this immitigable bunch yet his feet refused to listen to his command and run away. A setting sun and an approaching evening spelled doom for him and his blasphemy yet none of his club mates had spoken a word to him. For once he cherished this level of pretence and he was happy to carry on this façade.

"Disgusting."

Yukinoshita Yukino was silently watching this tomfoolery happening before her eyes and finally she had uttered a word to express her repulsion to this drama.

Hikigaya Hachiman prepared for the moment of truth.

Two sisters squared off and though there expressions differed, an underlying current of hatred imbued throughout this innocent café.

---

(Hikki POV)

A setting sun lost hope, shadows lengthened and I found myself unable to escape yet again. Moments halt and minuscule details etch themselves into psyche. Wind changes and a chill settles over bare bones waiting for an inevitable confrontation. Key characters lose focus and other players emerge. A beginning of a story unravels into a yarn and a kitten like god loosens its strings and before the blinking of a pair of dead fish eyes a whole new narrative rises in arm with an unsettling challenge.

"Disgusting."

One word

One word, a battle cry, a lament, left everyone on edge. One like me, keen towards every possible outcome and every variable takes in this disastrous scenario and predicts an approaching battle. A psychological warfare is about to start and before it began I already know who would be the victor. This is no battle. At best, it's a short skirmish.

Lips curling, smiling, eyes twinkling, an enemy of unknown quantity recognised solely by it capability towards harm and destruction is not a force which she is up against. She is battling herself and this will be a battle she will lose. She is nothing more than a mere distraction and Yukinoshita Haruno likes her little distraction.

"Disgusting? How so?"

She does not even try and she is already twelve steps ahead. Questioning a person without answers, without any chance at a solution, is a terrific ploy. Yukinoshita Yukino needs a better strategy. Exchanging petty insults will get her nowhere. She is not dealing with a person like me. She is dealing with her elder sister and if anyone knows what she is truly capable of, then it is none other than her. I am happy to have escaped such an experience. Imagining myself in her shoes, dealing with such a calamity on a daily basis would make me lose my mind. Yukinoshita Yukino you have my sympathise and though you once asked me to save you, this is a battle which you have to fight alone. My place is on a front row seat to witness this family drama without any popcorn. Looking sideways I see Yuigahama and she is transfixed to her spot. I think she is not even aware that she is standing. Her face is a mixture of many emotions but fear is the most visible of them. I myself am afraid but I have learned through practice to hide it better.

"Nee-san, playing dumb does not suit you. You are perfectly aware what you are doing is disgusting!"

"And what is so disgusting? You have to say it Yukino-chan. Otherwise, how will I understand. "

Repeating, repeating an entire conversation only to save face and lose further ground. Yukinoshita Yukino is unable to say what needs to be said. I know she has a tendency to run circles around the truth but telling an outright lie is not in her character. But I have been wrong before. Matters between siblings, especially matters between sisters are not easy to understand from a foreign perspective.

My relationship with Komachi is different. Both of us are siblings but I am her older brother and she is my younger sister. Moreover there is our family background to take into account and though what is unravelling before my eyes is in poor taste, I find it not in me to intervene. Cowardice is a good friend of mine and right now he has his arms wrapped around my shoulder.

Squirming in my seat I take in the outward appearance and inward manifestation of this entire debacle. A clean table top, two chairs and a family drama unfolds with me and Yuigahama reduced to silent spectators. I stop myself from commenting due to my self-preservation instincts but a high school girl standing a little away from me cannot afford this luxury. Niceness demands a price and Yuigahama is paying it through uncomfortable stutters and mutters which are heard by no one. Had I not been ignoring the two sisters, she would have easily escaped my notice. She is out of place and she knows it and her eyes move back and forth between Yukinoshita Yukino and Yukinoshita Haruno. She opens her mouth.

"Yuigahama you have been standing there for a while now. Why don't you sit down for a moment and relax."

"…thanks Hikki."

I saved her and myself from getting roped into this. She was trying to help but there is no helping in this situation. I have learned to adapt and avoid whenever it is possible. I have faith in myself to lose faith in others when a situation like this arises. I expect Yukinoshita Yukino to act out of character but Yuigahama might be expecting her to remain the same. She is an air head by every definition but even a man with average intelligent might make a mistake regarding these two sisters. I have my rotten brain and dead fish eyes at my disposal. They guide me in my every decision making moment and sometimes one of their best advice is deciding to do nothing.

Mirth filled eyes look down on me and a pair of icy blue ones look at the airhead sitting opposite me in this empty table and vacant café.

If only there were more people than such type of idiocy should not have taken place. But perhaps it is common place to have a heated discussion over a café. These place is a known graveyard of status quo. Established relationships die a quicker death on these plastic chairs and wooden tables. Friends become lovers and lovers become exes in between small servings of coffee and cakes. No one would suspect such a place to have such a grim utility but then there is no one like me.

"It seems you won't be chosen again Yukino-chan. What a pity."

Wrong words, definitely wrong words. Yukinoshita Haruno has petted a kitty too many times and now she has bared her claws. There was a distance between those two sisters both mentally and physically and that distances needed to be kept throughout the entire course of this conversation for it to end in an amicable fashion. There was no way for me to know that Yukinoshita Haruno would spring something like that on her unsuspecting and seemingly volatile younger sister.

Her crumbling exterior collapsed like an iceberg in the Arctic Circle. Both of her fists were clenched and they began to shake, she took a step back and closed both her eyes and then took a heavy breath. When she reopened her eyes and met mine, my pair of dead fish eyes knew what was about to happen and this time around I found my voice and gave a command before nothing could be taken back.

"Yuigahama, stop her!"

Yuigahama understood and like a breeze she ran towards Yukinoshita Yukino and engulfed her in a hug. There was a struggle but Yuigahama Yui was capable of comforting anyone and she was the only one capable of cooling down a berserk Yukinoshita Yukino.

"Yukinon! Calm down! Please, please."

"Let go of me Yuigahama-san. Let go!"

No tears. There were no tears in her eyes. Violence and hatred and maybe, just maybe, a hint of embarrassment and self loathing but this was not the same high school girl I know and acknowledge from those long hours spent in performing our service club activities. This was the high school girl who asked me to save her someday. Sadly today is not that day and neither will it be tomorrow.

I remember sitting on a chair but now I realise that I am standing. There is Yuigahama and Yukinoshita before me but they seem farther away from my reach. An invisible abyss separates both of them from me and neither of us is looking at the other. But the creator of the abyss remains allusive.

My shoulders stiffen from contact. A pair of hands gently caresses my shoulders from behind and my nose picks up the smell of shampoo and perfume. A feminine figure is behind me and her warm breath tickles my sensitive ears with a seductive whisper.

"Thank you for saving me Hikigaya-kun."

Her fingers curl upon me and I feel like an invisible leash has been placed around my neck.

Before my very eyes I see two of my club mates mirror an indistinguishable look and without looking at a mirror I know my expression is the same.

Yukinoshita Haruno is behind me, her arms are around me and her lips are brushing my ears.

Yuigahama made an excuse and left, embarrassed.

Manipulation was a type of skill which could prove immensely helpful for a woman of her stature and by now this had become almost second nature to Yukinoshita Haruno and although I would always be aware of when I was being caught in her web, there were only a handful of moment when I could come up with a plan to escape her evil clutches. I was not a complete idiot by any means but before her I felt like a stupid kid and right now I was not the only one feeling absolutely foolish at falling for her trick once again. Compared to her I was a novice yet compared to me my service club president was a dilettante and considering this scenario both of us were experiencing different kinds of emotions. Looking at Yukinoshita I could easily feel a subdued kind of anger and resentment and like always there would be a small sense of betrayal. By now I was used to her blaming almost everything on her older sister and like always her blame was easily shrugged off with a fake smile and real laughter. Once again I was confused and this time around I was the only one. I know by now her smiles are always fake but her laughter feels authentic to me. She could be mocking us but I feel she is just amused at our reactions. Except mine as like her I was well versed in keeping my dead fish eyes mildly interested regarding this entire situation. Good sense reigned in the end and we settled down like civilized people in a cafe. But, inevitably, after a moment her attention fell upon me.

"So Hikigaya-kun," she asked smilingly "tell me are you remotely surprised of your onee-san?"

"Not really," I said in monotone

"Oh?" she faked her surprise, "Really? Not at all? Not even a little bit."

"Yes," I affirmed, "This was to be expected."

She looked at me and I realised her eyes were genuinely interested with my reply. I can empathise with her because after spending her time with a fake crowd and false people with only facades there would come a time when a person would gawk at someone completely different and real, having no shame and no hidden agenda. There is not much I can brag about myself and I hate bragging on principle but one thing is absolutely certain- I am real.

Yukinoshita Haruno seems to have doubted me and I do not blame her. Real people, men and boys in particular try to emphasis there realness by their acts of bravery and courage. They would face their problems head on and meet there demise standing proud. I admire them immensely but sadly I am not like them and I have no intention of ever becoming them. Everything I have done I have done for myself and my family and although by being a member of the service club had led to me getting my hands dirty on multiple occasions through a number of stupid requests, I have done those only for myself and if I could go back in time and do them again I would do them just like I have done back then. I hate change yet I agree change is inevitable. My repulsion to change is similar to a toddler hating a haircut. I hate haircuts yet I am in no way a toddler. I have grown into a high school student and now a haircut is the least bit of my problems.

"If you are so smart Hikigaya-kun then why don't you explain to your club mates why I called you here? Hmm?"

Like I said, a haircut is the least bit of my problems.

"You wanted to prove a point." I said. My voice was clear and definitive.

"I always have a point," she said pointedly, smile still in place, "But my little sister refuses to listen to me. Pay more attention to me Yukino-chan. Your onee-san knows what's best for you!"

Hopefully, Yukinoshita Haruno might have missed me cringing at her last question when she confesses to knowing what is best for her little sister. I have my doubts but it is not my place to ask how she knows. This is a matter of sisters and yet somehow I have found myself tangled in this mess once again. But her phrasing puts me at unease. I know she is talking to her sister but those eyes which look at me and is amused with my reaction lets me know that she is also talking to me. She thinks she knows what is best for both of us. I don't agree although I have someone else to speak for me.

"…You never know what's best for me nee-san." Yukinoshita mumbles, "You don't know anything."

"Is that right," she asks rubbing her chin, "Then do your friends know what is best for you?"

"I know what is best for me." Yukinoshita states coldly, "My club mates and you are none of my concern. You should stop meddling in my affairs nee-san."

"Back to club mates again," Yukinoshita Haruno smiles tightly, "I see." She pauses contemplating "You can never take a step forward, without taking a step back. And yet you ask why I meddle in your business." Her voice lowers, "Admit it little sister, you want me to meddle in your so called business because you have no idea what you want." she looks at me, "Or rather who you want."

"Stop it…" Yukinoshita pleads.

"You are just too embarrassed to ask for my help." Yukinoshita Haruno ignores her pleading, "I don't know what you are so embarrassed about little sister. This is quite normal. Sisters talk about this stuff all the time and you have to admit I am very interested in your love life." She sweetens her smile while looking at me "Or lack there off."

"…" I lower my head and focus on my cup of coffee.

"You should try drinking it Hikigaya-kun." she advices me, "I doubt your undying love for coffee will lead to an impromptu confession. Fortunately for you, coffees can't start a conversation." She lowers her own head and looks inside my cup, staring at my reflection, "Although it is capable of mirroring your own inner turmoil." She waits for me to speak up. Unsurprisingly I don't and so she continues, "Or would you say you have no inner turmoil whatsoever. That you are absolutely fine."

"…I am fine."

Yukinoshita Haruno looks at me for a moment before breaking into laughter.

"Ha! Ha! Ha! You are so funny Hikigaya-kun." she looks at Yukinoshita "I like him."

Yukinoshita loses her carefully crafted composure and for a moment I am afraid there might be a physical confrontation. If that happens there would be a problem. I am alone with these sisters today in this godforsaken café and like yesterday there are no waiters around to intervene and stop this situation from becoming worse.

"Nee-san you are crossing the limit." Yukinoshita says loudly and she almost gets up.

Yukinoshita Haruno blinks innocently, "Crossing limits Yukino-chan?" she asks, "How? What did I say?"

"You said-You said" Yukinoshita fumble, "You…"

"You like me."

Should have just kept out of this but I hate Yukinoshita fumbling like an idiot. It ruins my image of her which was never perfect but these day I am beginning to feel like I had her completely wrong from the start and I am ashamed a little at getting her so wrong. I am proud of my rotten brain but it seems to have failed me back then or rather there were signs and like an idiot I refused to accept them.

Both sisters look at me and at times like this I often wonder whether both of them thought I am actually deaf. I am fine like I said and my hearing is quite good. Sometimes I just pretend not to be listening to create a false impression of aloofness. Maybe my impression was too good for both of them.

"Care to repeat that Hikigaya-kun?" Yukinoshita Haruno challenges me. "I think I didn't quite here you."

"You like me." I search her face for any obvious signs of discomfort but I already knew she was not the type of girl to grow flustered or blush at such a claim. Good to see I have at least one of the Yukinoshita sisters figured out by now.

"Oh do I now?" her smile become threateningly wide, "Well then tell me do you think I like you in a sexual way?"

Bringing my cup of coffee to my mouth to hide my blushing face was a good plan but unfortunately she had already thought about it and hence when I started to reach for my cup, her hands were upon mine and they were stopping me from saving face. I flinched from the contact. Her hands were small compared to mine, soft and delicate, but they held such power and control over me. It was unnerving as were her questions.

"You can drink that later Hikigaya-kun." she says in a small voice, "But first answer me. Do I love you sexually or not?"

Yukinoshita Yukino could have stopped, could have intervened but she is quite. I also noticed the small change in her question although I doubt anyone else did except her. She changed it from like to love without any hindrance and this just shows how unmatched I thoroughly am compared to her. She is not free yet she can get away with this. She knows she has the upper hand and is not afraid to use it to her advantage. Putting people like me in a corner gives her immense pleasure.

"Neither." I mumble looking up yet I am unable to withdraw my hands from underneath her.

"You have me confused Hikigaya-kun." she says, her hand firmly placed upon mine, unmoving yet distracting me all at the same time "How can this be neither. Then it would mean you neither love me in a sexual sense nor do you don't love me in a sexual sense." She turned her face away from me in thought but a moment later she turned back to me with sparkling eyes full of mischief, "Very clever Hikigaya-kun. By saying neither you made this into an either or question. But you failed to outwit me once again. This is still a question Hikigaya-kun and you have to answer."

"You don't have to answer her Hikigaya-kun." Yukinoshita finally found herself joining the conversation.

Her help would have been more appreciated if she did it a few moments ago but I cannot hold her at fault. She was scared probably. Who wouldn't be scared when a person like her older sister begins to cruelly interrogate one of her victims. She had really said the word 'sex' in the 'sex' sense a lot of times during this conversation. I don't know why but I can't imagine her and me in such a situation. I don't know how to describe it but it would almost be like Naruto having sex with a female Kyuubi which is not unheard of in many fan fiction stories but frankly it makes my skin crawl. I know I am being judgemental and biased but I think I am entitled to it. They don't call me creepy just because I look like a creep, you know although I do in fact look like a creep which begs the question as to why Yukinoshita has finally started to help me. But I am smart enough to keep my mouth shut and let her continue.

"Yukino-chan you were quite for so long." her older sister says, "It was almost like you were trying to hide yourself from our presence even though we are sitting here in the open. You might have seen Hikigaya kun making himself aloof and going into his so called stealth mode but you are in no way as perfect as him. You need a lot of work."

"I am not trying to hide myself nee-san." Yukinoshita fumes, "I thought this conversation you were having with this vile being was below my dignity to participate in and hence I kept myself on semi-mute except for a few timely interruption but it seems you have misinterpreted my silence for weakness. I advise you to watch yourself carefully from this moment on. I will not sit here idly watching you make a mockery of the Yukinoshita name."

Looking at Yukinoshita Haruno was futile but I did see her pat my hand a few time before withdrawing. Guess her sister had finally gotten through to her although it took a near rant about all her dignity and self esteem to make her come to her sense. I would not pretend I was not interested in watching her put her younger sister down a notch or two.

I waited and I waited and sadly it was quite anti climactic although shocking at the same time.

"You are no fun." Yukinoshita Haruno said then made a face and then put her tongue out at her in complete mockery. I was glad this matter was resolved but like always I was getting way ahead of myself.

"Let Yukino-chan bicker." Yukinoshita Haruno said to me, "You don't have to be afraid of her. Just answer my question and let truth have its day."

It was quite unnatural how she spoke of truth while lying with an open face.

"There were no truths to begin with." I said clearly, "All you said were lies. You were just trying to watch out reactions. Yukinoshita fell for it and I didn't"

She smiled at me. A predatory smile, "That's what makes you special." she said, "But not special enough to see everything. Tell me why am I doing this?"

"I don't know" I admitted, "Just because you can."

"No." she said, "Not at all. Look carefully. There is a small difference, a small change. It is almost staring at your face or rather not staring at your face."

Yukinoshita Haruno said her piece and I feel quite. I didn't look at Yukinoshita. She was puzzled and angry and showing a few more emotions which would make me become more confused than I already am.

I looked. This was a generic café, we were sitting out, and it was almost sunset. Nothing was out of place and everything seemed to be heading her way. But after noticing this arrangement I almost slapped myself at not noticing the obvious change.

"You made Yuigahama leave. " I muttered.

"Exactly." Yukinoshita Haruno nodded her head, "But, I didn't need to hang all over you do accomplish that. Do you want to know what else I did? Yukino-chan why don't you tell him, it will be a conversation starter of sort."

I looked at Yukinoshita and she looked upto me with an almost shameful face. She knew she was defeated and right now she would be telling me how she came about to face this loss at the hands of her older sister, "Nee-san had sent a text to Yuigahama-san. After reading that text she told me to meet my sister in the café. I asked her to come with me but she said she would like to spend today with her clique." her voice got extremely low, "But I forced her to accompany me, instead."

"Good job Yukino-chan." Yukinoshita Haruno gave her thumbs up, "But your perspective might not make any sense to him so I will explain it to him a little more" She turned to me and fixed me with her gaze, "I texted Gahama-chan and told her I have you with me and we are in this café enjoying coffee and cake. Then, I asked her to please pass on a message to Yukino, telling her to meet me in the same cafe. When, she asked why I couldn't ask her myself, I told her the truth that Yukino chan had me blocked. " She stopped and sighed," Like I expected Yukino chan emotionally blackmailed Gahama-chan to come long and I worked on her guilt to intrude on a private moment to make her leave. Acting lovey dovey helped too. "

I thought about it for a moment before realization finally dawned on me, "You texted Yuigahama because you knew if you forced Yukinoshita to come alone she would never listen to you, never make it easy. But if you asked Yuigahama to ask Yukinoshita on your behalf, then you will put her in the spot of uncertainty, not knowing, unsure. You knew she would bring Yuigahama, she is her only friend and you used that against her.

"You are incredibly cruel Nee san." Yukinoshita murmured.

"I know." her voice was heavy and only in that second I saw a small glimpse of her genuine self. But I couldn't be certain because her mask was back on before I had the chance to blink, "But no use crying over spilt milk, ne? You should thank me Yukino-chan. Only because of my so-called meddling did you find some alone time with Hikigaya-kun over here." She pulled an innocent face, "Are you not pleased with your onee-san?"

Once again I think she is talking to both of us.

"I hate you nee-san." Yukinoshita blurted, "You make me sick."

Another glimpse, another display of her true self and this time by dead fish eyes are able to capture one small wrinkle in her smile. She is unhappy but she is used to such name-calling and it has stopped registering in her.

"Don't talk to your sister like that Yukinoshita."

Words spill out from my mouth and it seems I have lost control. Both sisters look at me, all their focus, their entire attention is now on me. Yukinoshita is looking at me with a small glare but it is her older sister whose eyes are making me confused. She looks at me like I am an idiot which is a normal look for her but this time around she is not looking through me. My idiocy might have affected her it seems although I can never be sure.

She opens her mouth and I think she is about to say something to me but then once again that mischievous look engulfs her and her smile broadens.

"Thank you for saying such a sweet thing Hikigaya-kun." she says sweetly but then her wickedness appears "But if you keep referring to both of us as Yukinoshita it will get very confusing." She takes a thinking pose although all of us know she has already though this through, "Why don't you call me Haruno, and call her Yukino. That will make everything more easier and less confusing."

"Nee-san you are thinking too much of this oaf." Yukinoshita states, "Hikigaya-kun refuses to call anyone other than his sister by their first name. He knows his place and knows how to keep it."

"Harsh" I mumble.

"I think so too Hikigaya-kun." Yukinoshita Haruno comes to my side, "You know Yukino-chan both of us had a talk and he agreed to be my friend. He even agreed to call me by my first name. Didn't you Hikigaya-kun?"

"…Yes" Lying is futile. This happened and it should be fresh on everyone's memory.

"Pity you haven't called me yet by my name." Haruno mumbles flakily, "I really like you calling me Haruno."

Approaching danger territory and showing no signs of stopping. If this continues I would die out of embarrassment or more reasonably by the hands of her younger sister. Yukinoshita was there yesterday, she saw all this happen then why is she taking such a big offense to it now. I could ask her but I really don't want to.

"Well, nee-san it seems you have cleverly manipulated Yuigahama into having me participate in this circus." she says coldly, "But I am yet to understand how you managed to get Hikigaya-kun to come. I was certain he would avoided places like these."

Yukinoshita Haruno looks at me and puckers her lips, "I promised him a kiss."

There is a limit to lying and it has reached. Like seriously, what would make anyone think a kiss would be enough to have be go through with this again. Unfortunately Yukinoshita seems to be believing her narrative.

"As expected of such a perverted individual." she sneers at me, "A kiss was enough to coax you into undergoing this humiliating experience again Hikigaya-kun." Her eyes grow livid, "Tell me were you paid upfront or did you have intentions of collecting your dues later."

Getting compared to a prostitute in a café during sunset and people wonder why I stay cooped up at home. This is what happens to me when I head out.

"Careful Yukino-chan." her older sister says, "You might not be forgiven later on if you keep talking to him like that. Even though Hikigaya-kun has kept his calm, I think it would be better not to test his limits."

Yukinoshita opens her mouth and closes it after a moment. She has nothing to say, not even an apology. Yukinoshita Haruno expects me to thank her for her help but I am a rotten individual and thanking her is not in my nature.

"Hikigaya kun came here out of his own stupidity." Yukinoshita Haruno states, "He must have thought the service club was at an impasse, he saw an end in sight and thought he could change it. I did gave the impression of wanting you two to become friends but with Yuigahama san, I already knew you would not follow my advice." She looked at me, "And so lightning struck twice."

Indeed, comparing herself to lightening seems befitting. She does seem like a force of nature, capable of changing tides with her whimsical winds but there will always be an underlying motive behind her every act.

"Is Yuigahama such a threat to you?" I ask.

"Not at all." she says, "I just find her out of place in this scenario. She got herself in trouble by being an airhead and playing for both your sides but she should have known this was a different sort of game." She pauses and breathes, "She should only be on her own side."

"Yuigahama-san is not like you nee-san." Yukinoshita says indignantly.

Yukinoshita Haruno snorts, "Good to know."

But this shouldn't be what it seems like. Yukinoshita Haruno did all this to remove only one person. This seems like such a waste.

"I don't believe you." I say to her firmly.

"You don't, do you Hikigaya-kun." she asked clearly amused, "Then what do you think? Why do I do all this?"

I think for a moment, "You wanted to interfere with me and your sister?"

She waves it off, "Already established."

"You wanted to-" saying this aloud seems awkward and I wait for her to help me out a little since her younger sister is doing nothing but staring at both of us with a sour look on her face.

"Yes, Hikigaya-kun" she encourages, "I wanted to-"

"You wanted to bring me and your sister close." I am blushing a little but at least I was able to say this out loud. Hearing this Yukinoshita becomes red and her older sister begins to laugh hysterically.

"You really think so." she says between her laugh, "I never knew you thought so highly of me Hikigaya-kun. See Yukino-chan. Take notes. I am a good older sister trying to make my younger sister fall in love with her prince charming."

"Stop talking rubbish nee-san" Yukinoshita scolds.

I really don't like that imagery but like she said she is not this nice. Only an idiot with romantic notions would think like that. I am neither.

"You wanted to see who controls who?" my voice is low.

"Really?" Yukinoshita Haruno has my attention, "Tell me more."

"You wanted to see whether you could control your younger sister by controlling me." I gather my thoughts then continue, "And you also wanted to see whether you could control me by controlling your younger sister."

She smiles and I know she is relishing this, "You paint such a pretty picture of me Hikigaya-kun."

After everything has been revealed she yet appears unflustered. She is not afraid of both of us but there is one person who has proved to be a hindrance.

"But you got one thing wrong Yukinoshita-san." I say

"Call me Haruno."

And she spoiled my moments.

"Like I was saying, you got one thing wrong Haruno-san." I look at Yukinoshita. She is giving me her full attention and I think she is currently overlooking me addressing her older sister by her first name.

"Did I Hachiman?"

Now this is a problem. No, no. This was going so well but I still might be able to salvage this situation. All I have to do is talk and keep talking while not looking at anyone in the eye. If I am blushing then well, there is nothing I can do.

"Y-yes" Let's just avoid her name altogether, "You see you thought Yuigahama was just an airhead and she is, I don't deny that. But," I look at my watch, "Yuigahama Yui is also a nice girl."

Haruno blinks a few times on hearing this but she is not getting my point, "So what? She is a nice girl. What does this have to do with anything?"

I give her my best creepy smile, "Nice girls never know when to quit. Even when they know, they are about to be get hurt, even though when an intimidating older sister uses her as a dumb tool and throws her away, a nice girl would always worry and because of all her worrying she would do the dumbest thing and just show up again."

Yukinoshita finally knows what I am talking about "Is she-" I ignore her when her voice trails off. My dead fish eyes are looking behind her at the direction of this café.

"The windows of this place are very clean" I mutter almost to myself, "Good reflections all around."

Watching her eyes widen for a moment, I catch another glimpse of her underlying humanity. I know Yukinoshita Haruno is human but after such a long day I must have forgotten that.

"Yahallo!"

And hearing her wince on hearing a loud Yuigahama Yui, fast approaching us might just make it worthwhile.

Yuigahama Yui was a nice girl and I often hated her for being this nice to someone unworthy like me. Her misplaced faith and incorrect trust upon my rotten being was a heavy burden because I was certain I would let her down and when that time comes there will be no one left to pick up the pieces. Girls like her always get hurt by scum like me. I don't deserve her. Yukinoshita might but I am certain there is no place for me around her and at times like these I feel especially worried. Imagining her, diving headfirst into battle with a cheerful war cry of 'Yahallo!' and nothing else to back up her play makes me uneasy. Elements of fantasy are reversed and warped into a twisted reality under this unfolding dramatic entertainment conjured by Yukinoshita Haruno. This godforsaken café has become a heavily barricaded castle where Yukinoshita is the damsel in distress, Yuigahama is her gender bended prince charming, coming to rescue her sans a majestic horse and like always Yukinoshita Haruno is the evil dragon or wicked witch, leaving me to be the faceless peasant, left to narrate this tale when I am close to death or about to be passed out on a shady tavern. Unfortunately fantasy can never become reality and Yuigahama Yui can never be selfish enough to mind her own business and stay away. If caring was a crime then she should be serving multiple death sentences by now.

"Yahallo Everyone!" she greeted cheerfully, making Yukinoshita Haruno wince and I remembered she was a normal girl of flesh and blood and not a fire breathing dragon of mass destruction.

"Gahama-san, it such an unexpected surprise to have you back here" Yukinoshita Haruno drawled, "Tell me, did you somehow managed to lose your way back home."

One decently long sentence was all she needed to convey everything she wanted to Yuigahama but unfortunately her intelligence was a bit lower to appreciate the economy of words in such a speech which was forced to sound unbearably sweet for everyone present.

Needless to say there was nothing sweet about it.

Just for my own curiosity I ran this sentence around my rotten brain and it revealed multiple levels of meaning from subtle sarcasm to a benign threat.

The way she greeted Yuigahama, saying it was unexpected was of course a thinly veiled disdain and lastly her statement like question which asked whether she managed to lose her way home was both an insult to her limited intelligence and also a warning which clearly ordered her to leave from this infernal café.

Of course I doubt Yuigahama got that. Yukinoshita might but she was either shocked or rendered speechless by this unexpected development. Now would be the time to show her support for, maybe, her one and only friend and as expected she was leaving Yuigahama to fend for herself. Yukinoshita was losing my respect by the seconds. My dead fish eyes momentarily landed on her and somehow she decided to it would not exactly be stupid to provide support to her one and only hope

"Yuigahama san? You came back?" Yukinoshita Yukino asked, "I thought you left. I'm sorry for involving you in this mess. This meeting is between me and my sister and…" she paused and threw a glare at me, "…and him."

No need to glare Yukinoshita. It is a truth universally accepted that everything that goes wrong with your life is by very definition caused by someone other than yourself. I am just one of those individuals who constantly torment and bully you with my rotten eyes and warped outlook. I sometimes wonder what sensei was thinking when she entrusted you to change me for better because you have done nothing for me. In fact it is the other way around. Due to my own stupidity I involved myself in your matters and now my suffering has a physical embodiment in the name of Yukinoshita Haruno. Don't know what your problem is other than her being your older sister…on second thought I change my mind. You have it tough. Being the younger sibling off someone like her must make you want to kill yourself. Of course, you could never make my life that easy even if I promise to give a heart wrenching eulogy on the very sad occasion. Of course my eulogy might make matters worse but it would already be a remorseful event so I will be completely justified in making a few more people cry their eyes out over you. At least then you would get there love and affection. I think it would be fitting. Many great people only get acknowledged after they are dead and you could join their rank. But for that to happen you would have to die and I don't think that has any chance of happening anytime soon. Curse you youth! And curse you Yukinoshita!

"No need to glare at me Yukinoshita" I replied offhandedly, "It's not my fault we are in this mess and don't even think for a moment that I texted Yuigahama and asked her to come back. I would have tried my best to keep her away from this."

"How touching." Yukinoshita Haruno giggled, "You care so much about her Hikigaya-kun. If only you cared this much over a certain Yukinoshita." her eyes glided over to her younger sister, "Then she might have fallen in love with you."

At least she was playing it safe and stopping herself from outright calling her out on this. If she said her name then the result would be catastrophic. Now there could be a little deniability. For all I know she could be talking about her very own mother or her younger sister or maybe even herself though I doubt that very much. Hopefully I can exclude her parents, sighting their marriage and their advanced years… My rotten brain really needs a bit of work otherwise it will stray into some pretty weird territory. I should try composing myself and be my typical cynical self. Hence I should make a joke out of it and play it off nice and easy.

I snorted, "A Yukinoshita should have much better taste."

Matter solved. Congratulation Hachiman! You saved yourself.

"You are right about that!" she confirmed, nodding her head vigorously, "We prefer our men disillusioned and disenchanted, preferably with short black hair, rotten eyes and a distinctive ahoge." Much to my embarrassment she gave me an obvious once over from head to toe, "Tell me Hachiman, do you know someone who fits that description."

I'm screwed. Farwell Hachiman! You are doomed.

Blushing profusely I look at Yuigahama pleading her to come to my rescue. Yukinoshita can wait, after all she is doing nothing but taking turns to glare at me and her older sister. While she is busy making up her mind about which one to hate most, Yuigahama could come in, save me and then leave it upto me to think of a quick gateway. Please be my hero Yuigahama and I would gladly be your sidekick for eternity, in this lonely crusade to treat everyone nicely even those who don't deserve such a treatment.

"Um, Hikki," she fidgets a little and I already feel hope draining from my body "Haruno-san just called you by your first name. What's up with that? Aren't you going to say anything to her? When did you two become super close?"

Gods of romantic comedy I have one question: What have I ever done to you? Did I take your underage daughter out on a date to a rave party on your wife's death anniversary, because clearly you are out for my blood and want to take revenge. You turned Yuigahama against me. Like I said, I am screwed.

"My, my Gahama-san! Are you jealous of little old me?" Yukinoshita Haruno shakes her head in disappointment, "Now I understand. You came here to stake your claim on my boyfriend." She gave a sharp giggle, "Well too bad. You are late. He now belongs to me now." she gives me a saucy wink, "Right Hachi-kun?"

Destruction imminent! Destruction imminent!

"Nee-san is just lying Yuigahama-san" Yukinoshita says pointedly, "Nothing special." Her voice is cold, "Despite her numerous talents and vast array of skills, she had made herself much more endearing to my mother simply by telling such lies." She looks at her older sister with unbridled hate, "You could say lying comes easy to her then breathing." Her features relax when she looks back at her only friend, "But you don't have to worry Yuigahama-san." She seethes "Nothing like that happened."

These sisters continue to confuse me even now. At first Yukinoshita was just fuming silently and making herself scarce from most of the conversation except for a few selective rants and bitter insults. But now she decided to step upto the plate. Although it is already too late and whatever damage needed to be done to my rotten brain has already been done but still I am very grateful for her assist. After all Yuigahama will believe her words on this matter more than mine. As expected.

"But, Yukinon, um, then why did Haruno-san." Yuigahama blushed, "Call him Hachiman."

Listening to her say my first name feels odd yet not entirely unpleasant.

Only a few selected people call me by my first name and the reason for this is very simple- I am not close to many people.

Komachi calls me that because she is my cute little sister and I am her older brother. Totsuka calls me that because…well he considers me a friend. Yes, that's the only reason you will get. Are you listening my rotten brain, do not embarrass me by letting others know about my weird fantasises. That my secret. Now the others who call me by my first name are Zaimokuza and I let him get away with it because he is mentally ill and suffers from eight grader syndrome, not to mention he is considerably strong and could punch me to Tokyo if he thinks I am betraying him by straying from our loner ways. He is very adamant about having me stay alone forever and that's why I consider him a fellow sufferer… not that I would tell him that anytime soon. Other than these two there is Rumi-Rumi, but she is in elementary school and she is almost a little mini-version of Yukinoshita, so there is nothing I can do about her except pick my battles careful and then lose every one of those picked battles because even then they are never my choice. These days I don't get good choices. It always bad or worse but right now things are looking good as it is not every day that Yukinoshita chooses to step down from her high horse and pleads my case in favour of me.

"Nee-san calls him Hachiman-"She stops abruptly and it is clear from her face that she lost her train of thought. Wonderful. Just wonderful. Now she is blushing too but at least she recovers quicker than Yuigahama and manages to glare at me yet again, "Like I was saying Yuigahama-san, Nee-san calls him Hachiman because she provides him with a special priviledge."

"Ooh really Yukinon!" Yuigahama looks at her curiously, "What kind of special privileges?"

"Hikigaya-kun gets to kiss her" Yukinoshita replied venomously.

Take a slow and deep breath Hachiman. In and out. There is no need to panic. There is no need to panic.

"EEEHHH!"

Nope. Nope. I was wrong. Very, very wrong. This is the time to panic: All hands on deck Hachiman. Your rotten brain has gone overboard and is currently sinking rather deeply in the high sound waves of Yuigahama Yui. Now's the time first mate, Monster of logic, throw him a life jacket.

"Yukinoshita, stop putting words in my mouth." my voice is straightforward. It takes effort but I somehow manage. I look at Yukinoshita Haruno with clear discomfort evident in my dead fish eyes "Like you said your nee-san is remarkable at lying." As expected Yukinoshita Haruno is able to keep my gaze and only after she acknowledges my defeat, do I turn to her younger sister, "But you Yukinoshita are on another level. You somehow manage to lie about a lie." Now the most difficult part and I have to muster all the courage I have to turn to Yuigahama and make my features slightly believable and trustworthy, which anyone would agree is no easy feat, for someone as rotten as me but unexpectedly I am able to make my appearance match my voice. "Yukinoshita-san, in her lie" I put emphasis on the word 'lie' for her sake before continuing "Promised me a kiss." Yuigahama listens carefully and I only hope she would let me finish before saying her peace, "Yuigahama, she said she would kiss me and that was a lie but even she couldn't tell such a big lie like the one Yukinoshita is saying where I get to be the one to kiss her. Do you understand Yuigahama? Everything was a lie."

Yuigahama stays silent for a moment then tilts her head and looks at me with a puzzled face, "I am confused Hikki." her voice sounds small, "You say every single thing in such a roundabout way Hikki." Her voice breaks, "You know, I am not as smart as you or Yukinoshita." There are tears in her eyes, "I am very dumb Hikki. Like really dumb. I'm a super big airhead." she gives a small sob, "I don't get what you say half the time even though I try a lot to talk to you without sounding like a complete idiot." She rubs her eyes with the back of her palm to give the impression that she is strong when she is clearly not and I immediately start to hate myself for making her cry like this and her shaking voice does not help me, not a single bit. "Just tell me if you kissed Haruno-san or not?!"

"No he didn't Yuigahama-chan."

My ears know this voice belongs to none other than Yukinoshita Haruno but my brain refuses to acknowledge this because it is so unlike her to help me make someone feel better. This is all her fault-her lies, her ulterior motives and her grand schemes. Right now she should be enjoying my utter helplessness but she surprises me yet again. Truly, Yukinoshita Haruno is an enigma.

"Really, Haruno-san?" Yuigahama asks in a small whimper, "You didn't kiss Hikki?"

"No Yuigahama-chan" Twice, twice now she had called her name properly and although I don't think Yuigahama would mind much if she called her 'Gahama-chan' even now but I think she is genuinely trying to help her.

"Then why are you calling Hikki by his first name Haruno-san." Yuigahama asks in a hurt voice

"Because I consider him my friend, Yuigahama-san" Yukinoshita Haruno replied soothingly, "You can also call him by his first name if you think he is your friend Gahama-chan." She was rather quick to test these troubled waters for my taste but she was looking steadily at her and there was no malice in her voice, which was more than I imagined she would bother doing for someone as useless to her cause like Yuigahama, "Isn't that right Hachiman?" And there was the unwavering voice which followed her steely resolve and self-satisfying objectives. She was doing fine by Yuigahama and there was no need for her to say my name but she did and by doing so she let me know that even by shedding a few tears our resident nice girl could not hope to make me change course of this foreboding situation and simply run away from our problems. Nothing was simple and her question would need a proper reply.

"Right indeed…Haruno-san" Children call it tit for tat but when they grow up it becomes an eye for an eye-the way of the world- and right now this situation called for a name for a name. Blushing be damned, she said my name first and she was just asking me to return the favour in kind and I did just that only I think I made an incredible mistake. I look at Yuigahama.

"It's ok Hikki." she says with a quick smile before turning to Haruno, "But only I get to call her Hikki, Haruno-san. No one else gets to call him that." Her voice is bright yet firm, "Not even you."

Haruno looks at her for a moment before breaking into a smile, "You are so easy to cheer up Gahama-chan." Her voice sounds playfully scolding, "But you shouldn't have cried in the first place, you know?" Now she looks back at her younger sister and I realised that there is in fact a person named Yukinoshita Yukino still present in this small gathering. She was silent for a long time and now I realise it was in fact her who made Yuigahama cry in the first place. "Girls your age should never cry before others."

Whatever she says always sounds very simple yet there is always an underlying overtone, a hidden instruction of sorts and even now I think I am the only one to unravel it. Her advice to both Yuigahama and Yukinoshita is that girls her age should never cry before others. If one pays close attention then one would realise the she is not stopping them from crying altogether but instead she wants them not to cry in front of other people. It's almost like she is telling them to show weakness and cry in a very private setting. Upon coming to this conclusion there is a dangerous question which is slowly forming in my rotten brain but I am too afraid to even think about it let alone ask it to her out loud.

"Eh? Haruno-san, don't tell me you have never cried before?"

No Yuigahama, I don't care how much of a big idiot you are, you just simply can't ask such a question to a person like her.

"I cry a lot Yuigahama-chan." My ears are mishearing things and even my eyes must be misleading me but for some reason Haruno looks bitter. There is a look of self-loathing on her face which I am acutely aware of as I wake up to this face every day when I head out from the safe haven of my home but compared to me her features looks handcrafted and self-inflicted. She appears like a girl in pain.

"Really?" Yuigahama looks crestfallen.

"Yes." Haruno admits but then her face instantly brightens and her voice carries an airy laugh, "Whenever I have an appointment with my dentist I cry my eyes out. Ha! Ha! Ha!"

"Oh really? That's super funny Haruno-san. Ha! Ha! Ha!"

A long, drawn laugh fills this café and only I know that this laughter is fake although I suspect Yukinoshita is staying silent because she knows her fake laughter is nowhere near as perfect as these two. Yuigahama is not faking it entirely but she is just being herself and trying to ease the earlier tension caused by her tears. But Haruno-yes I will call her Haruno from now on- there is no point in calling her anything else when she has clearly won the spoils of this little skirmish although I think the real war hasn't even begun yet. I never imagined Haruno capable of crying but she has her moments of weakness. Admitting it before us and then successfully passing it off as a joke about dentist appointments is as artificial as it gets but at least she was successful in her recovery. As expected this day is tiring her out and she almost showed her vulnerability before her younger sister and me. I thought Yukinoshita would use this to her full advantage but she stayed silent and I think this just shows how much of a dangerous topic this could just prove to be and hence it is beyond my capabilities, not that I would used this against her. I may be rotten but I am not yet that rotten to use a girl's tearful tale against them and the last time I checked Haruno was still a girl even though I sometimes forget she is a human being capable of genuine feelings and not just artificial emotions.

Currently all four of us are sitting outside on plastic chairs and our treats are kept one a small circular table. Except for Yuigahama, all three of us have some quantity of food and drinks in our body to get us through this tedious gathering. It has not escaped my notice that Haruno has a sweet tooth and she was the first one to dig into her small piece of cake even when Yukinoshita and I just settled for a small cup of tea and coffee respectively. Unexpectedly Haruno always make it a point to finish her food or drinks during the course of an entire conversation, which just goes to show how much she is at ease when handling such nobodies as us. But today I find her plate has a little bit of treat left. May be there is some truth to her dentist story after all but this laugh is getting on my nerves when I clearly know all this is fake. I try the stereotypical approach often taken by men to stop women from laughing- Cursing. Some people call it uncouth and improper and maybe a little sexist but I just think of it as a way to channel by disapproval of their artificiality while providing them with a better outlet to relieve themselves of all their suppressed fury. Instead of laughing it off, they can be angry at me instead. You see, I am just being nice.

"Would the two of you please stop laughing? This is all bullsh-" I began

"Sshh-" Haruno cuts me off.

Unfortunately, Haruno was neither paying attention to herself nor to me and hence there was a grossly miscalculated contact of skin on skin which made my club mates raise their eyebrows in disbelieve and shock.

Haruno was trying to silence me and she did this by placing her index finger over my lips in a shushing gesture. However, I had already opened my mouth and was about to curse and my tongue was peeking out from between my lips by a small, miniscule, almost negligible fraction.

But despite everything we made contact. My tongue touched her index finger and I was able to get a taste of her skin.

"Orange" I blurted out without thinking.

I would like to point out that like my ears, my tongue is also very sensitive and I am able to figure out tastes way faster than many people. May be if thinks turned out differently I could have been a world class gourmet but in this reality I was destined to die of slow poisoning from Yuigahama's cooking. If only things were a bit different, if only Haruno had kept her finger to herself and if only my tongue had not went out while speaking.

For once I was able to watch Haruno as she lost her composure and jerked her finger away from my mouth. My dead fish eyes caught a small trace of moisture on her finger tip. There was no doubt that my tongue had touched her index finger and blurting out the word 'orange', which was probably the scent of the hand lotion she used, did nothing to improve my chances of survival.

Seriously there is something fundamentally wrong with me. Yesterday I said her lips tasted like strawberries, today I am saying her fingers taste like oranges. If this continues I would be put into a vegetative state.

Haruno appears completely flustered, her cheeks are red from anger, "How dare you!" she yells at me while placing her arm on top of the table with such force that the small circular table we are currently sharing right now gives a small squeak of protest, "You will pay Hachiman!" Absolutely right! I will pay with my life. Please just say off with his head and put me out of my misery, I beg you. "You will pay by treating us to whatever we want from this café. Right now!"

Yuigahama, Yukinoshita and I look at her dumbfounded. She has regained her composure within a few seconds and her smile is back on her face again. I was certain this would be the day I die but I think I was just saved by some form of heavenly intervention. Romcom God have you decided to show me mercy?

"Um, is that all?" I ask hesitantly.

"Well I also want you to buy me an expensive princess cut diamond ring when I marry but for now cake will do." Haruno jokes, I am certain.

"Nee-san are you-" Yukinoshita finally decided to let us know she has not left this godforsaken café.

"Hush Yukino-chan. I was joking." Haruno playfully scolds her, "Take Gahama-chan and go inside the café. Your Hachiman will be treating you to a nice dessert." she looks at me "Won't you Hachiman?"

"Yeah." I nod my head, praying I have enough money with me in my wallet.

"Well that settles it then." Haruno gets up and like her puppets we stand with her as well.

"Get going you two." Haruno says to Yuigahama and Yukinoshita, "Hachiman and I will be coming soon. Don't worry! I don't plan to kill him just yet. Ha! Ha!"

Not funny at all and my paranoid brain is already coming up with many unpleasant questions.

"Why are we heading inside?" I ask tentatively, "We could eat just here"

"We are going because I said so." Haruno said firmly and I was paid a small glimpse of her own inner demons. It was incredibly rare for her to show me this before others. As expected her eyes change back to their twinkling and playful nature, "Plus the tables inside have beautifully white table cloths."

Again, I could ask her about the table cloths but it seems just a useless thing to ask. Right now I am following at least five steps behind her because only an idiot would show her his back after seriously making her lose her composure. I am certain she has plans to torture me inside which will provide a much more secluded setting for her to begin her torments upon my rotten self. Unfortunately there is nothing I could do except follow her to my painfully slow and long awaited demise.

Apologizing for my actions is not out of the question but I am unable to come up with a suitable apology which would allow me to make an excuse for myself. It was an accident and nothing more but saying that would hardly help me get in her good side. My rotten brain has failed me, my sensitive tongue has failed me and hence all that is left is my rotten eyes. Even now my dead fish eyes cannot help but do their job and they let me know what I see with them. Hence I try using them in a different approach to somehow placate this situation.

"Haruno-san, you have a little bit of cake sticking from your elbow."

I have no idea how it got there but maybe it was during the time when she banged the table top with considerable force in an excellent attempt to misdirect our attention from her lost composure. She was successful mostly but nothing escaped my eyes.

I saw a series of unexplainable emotions splayed across her face for a fraction of second but for me it was enough.

"Really?" Haruno looks at her elbow and notices a small piece of creamy topping sticking from her skin, "Thanks Hachiman."

I nod my head and I think she is almost done but as expected I was wrong.

She sticks her wet tongue out from between her lips and slowly begins to lick away the creamy topping from her elbow in a very seductive fashion while keeping her steady gaze fixed upon my expression. Her tongue cleans off the white substance and she rolls it over her lips before giving me a saucy smirk and leaving me with a devilish remark.

"Yummy~"

---

A paradox is better suited to explain my present predicament- A lot has happened, yet nothing seems to have happened-My foolishness to seek out Haruno has reached its crescendo: I call it my doom.

"You are suffering onii-chan. Komachi knows. You should get some help."

"You don't even know what the problem is Komachi."

"I don't have to know onii-chan. And you don't have to tell me. But you should tell someone else."

A healthy interaction between a brother and sister pair had always proved to be a source of epiphany. Komachi was more right then she possibly knew. And as per her wishes I sought out help; only from the wrong place.

"Haruno's hang outs? Why do you wanna know Hikigaya?"

"…because you refused to help me sensei. I'm still open to hearing you out. I would rather not face her, if I don't have to."

"…This is so stupid. She would laugh at your face, I'm telling you. But if you want to know, then I guess there is this café…"

Hiratsuka sensei provided me the name of the café. But it was my choice to come here. I could blame her all I want but it won't do me any good. I took a rash decision based on wrong types of behaviours and insufficient interactions. Maybe my club mates didn't have a problem. Perhaps I was looking too hard. It doesn't always have to be hunky dory around the service club. I'm not much of a cheerful person myself. Unfortunately, it seems, I overreacted.

"Are you okay Yukinoshita?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You seem to be acting a bit weird. That's all."

"You noticed! And here I thought you had turned a blind eye to everything!"

"I didn't-"

"Please leave Hikigaya-kun. Club is dismissed for today. It's not like we are getting any requests."

"…Alright then. I will take my leave."

"…"

There was no reply. We-as club mates- had come a long way. We at least bothered greeting each other, even indulged in talking sometimes. But that day, Yukinoshita gave me a cold shoulder. I don't know what my fault was and I was afraid to ask her. She didn't even say good bye to me. It was slowly becoming a recurring thing with us. One day it could be a good habit. But it seemed more like a bad habit which she outgrew. Now it was loud outbursts.

On the other hand, I didn't do very well as well. Reacting to overreacting was never one of my pleasant traits; it just didn't go with my rotten personality. But whatever happened, happened. Nothing can be said or done about my past decisions. It was simply a bad decision. I should have known: anything concerning Haruno is always bad

But still I was out of options: The service club was crumbling.

Yukinoshita Yukino and Yuigahama Yui were acting weird.

And somehow it had something to do with me; I just knew it. But I was out of luck. I couldn't ask for any insight on their behaviour from anyone else. Hiratsuka-sensei simply said it was easy to figure out. Well maybe it was easy for her, but it was never easy for me.

I'm not really great when it comes to talking about our problems. But I knew a problem existed. Now, I could have talked to members of Yuigahama's clique. But after everything that happened on the school trip… I didn't find the idea quite appetizing. And then there was Miura. She is way too scary for my taste!

"I'm warning you Hikio. Stay away from Yui."

"Why Miura? What did I do wrong?"

"You hurt her with your usual antics. Now you better leave before I sic Tobe and the others on you."

"…they are not really dogs, you know."

"Oh you'll see Hikio. Tobe! Tobe! Where the hell did you go?"

"…"

Needless to say, I didn't wait around to find out whether Tobe did tricks or not. Miura is really very protective over Yuigahama. Are they like estranged sisters or something because I don't have a clue, as to what makes them so close. However, due to her protective nature I don't get to speak to Yuigahama during class. Her clique is always keeping a close watch on me. It's really a nightmare.

Finally, in all my infinite wisdom, I decided to seek out Yukinoshita Haruno for help.

That should be enough to explain my state of mind. Let's just say, I'm also affected by my club mates behaviours. Because anyone can see where that line of logic fails. Involving Haruno would only convolute the mess further. I can't believe my brain came up with that idea. It's probably a virus which keeps on spreading. Like the flu. Maybe I should check a doctor. Or a therapist. Nah!

And now after a long meeting and a lot of talking, we still find ourselves in this godforsaken café. Even the sun seems to be telling me something as it sets slowly on the far horizon. You're on your own pal! Yeah, well thanks for nothing.

Previously, Haruno had told Yukinoshita and Yuigahama to head inside and grab a table. They did as asked. Why? Because no one in their right mind would refuse Yukinoshita Haruno. As they left, I was left standing outside with Haruno. And there she made me observe a magic trick:

She licked some cream off her elbow with her tongue.

"Yummy~"

That's shouldn't be humanly possible! At least I don't think it is? But there it was, right before my eyes. Her tongue peeked out from her mouth and she grazed it across her creamy elbow. Then she rolled her tongue around her lips in a very seductive manner. I could see the white of the cream settling inside and then vanishing in one gulp. And she did everything quite easily. There was no overexertion on her part. It was as simple as licking a bit of cream from a spoon.

"…How?" I croaked out. Any other words failed to escape my mouth.

"I'm extremely flexible" She said with an easy smile, "Perhaps I will show you just how flexible I am somewhere private."

"Nope." I shook my head, "That was something else, Haruno san."

"You're right, Hachiman" She said evenly while wiping her elbow with one of her hands, "I think about only 1% of the entire world population can do what I just did. There isn't an actual scientific number. But it's often claimed by many sources. So in a way…" She paused with purpose. Making me wait was entertaining, I suppose "…I'm special."

"…Yes you are." I found myself agreeing, "With or without that trick."

"I will take that as a compliment." She said before turning around and walking inside the café, "Although some would call it gross."

"Well I'm not one of them." I said coolly.

"No, you are not." She was almost gone from my line of vision. The door closed behind her. But her words carried through to me, "Maybe you're special as well, Hachiman."

Her voice was superbly soft. It had an ethereal quality which I couldn't place. But before I could appreciate it any further, I found myself face-to-face with an opportunity: I was alone. Everyone had headed inside the café. There was no one standing outside with me. I could easily escape…if I want… I hate myself!

Choices are the worst.

Especially when you know you have to pick the wrong one. Why? Because you don't have the right to pick the right one

And when everything is said and done, I am more or less defined by my bad decisions- I think most people are- What more can be said about me that isn't already said and done. I knew what was expected of me. I was expected to run away from my problems, run away from any kind of confrontation.

But like always, I failed to live upto my expectations

I walked inside the café.

Years of bullying and insults finally bore a rotten fruit: I developed a thicker skin.

It didn't help reduce the constant hounding and the verbal abuse in anyway. I was subjected to it on a daily basis. Stuff like that doesn't end in a day. In a way it never stopped. I just traded in one type of people for another. Nowadays I have Yukinoshita and Tobe. They are probably far nicer in many ways. I should appreciate them when I can. Maybe not coming up with a counter response every once in a while is a nice solution. I tried that on Yukinoshita. She hated it, I think. Her insults only got worse. Maybe trading insults is our only way to interact. That's extremely unhealthy. At least I have a thicker skin. Insults bounce off of me like bullets. Tobe and is group of dobes don't even register nowadays. It's getting so old. I think I heard even Hayama call them out on that. Now you know you are lame, when even the king of lame calls you lame…stupid brain. Not functioning well. Getting confused over nothing. What the!

"What was that?"

My voice was loud enough to garner some looks. Yuigahama looked at me with confusion and Yukinoshita narrowed her eyes at me. Haruno simply looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"What was what, Hachiman?" Haruno asked. She was sitting beside me and she reached across to pat my arm. It was all for a false show of affection. I know what she did. Yes; and I know she did it for certain. I just don't know why it made me react like this. It was probably an accident. And she could have easily said 'sorry' and moved on. Well, maybe Haruno had no intention of apologizing to someone like me. Maybe it was beneath her.

"Nothing, Haruno san. " I said to her before gradually removing my hand from her soothing touch. Her hand lingered for a moment and then returned to her cup. I turned my eyes to my club mates. They didn't look too pleased, "Sorry everyone." I said in a small voice. Apologizing to someone or everyone-without really meaning to-is one of my special loner skills. It gets the job done and gets me out of a tough spot on more than a handful of occasions…Yes; I am a horrible human being. Get over it.

"It's alright Hikki." Yuigahama replied and continued to ignore me.

"Indeed." Yukinoshita replied afterwards. She didn't even bother looking at me.

Well their words don't match their behaviour. Any other person would have called them a couple of hypocrites. But to me that's not the case. Maybe they are just not trying hard enough. Or perhaps, they want their displeasure to be shown through their behaviour-curt replies, evading eyes-they are signs of anger. I'm getting all this hate from these two for all the wrong reasons. Get a clue Yukinoshita. Your elder sister is the one at fault.

Haruno is the one who just ran her foot up the inner side of my calf. She had taken off her heels, it seems and even offer the fabric of my pants, I could feel her toes curl over my leg.

"Take it easy you two." Haruno replied glibly from my side, "He said he was sorry. Even though he had nothing to be sorry about."

"It's a sign of a guilty conscience nee-san." Yukino snapped, "Hikigaya-kun should be familiar with that concept"

"I'm well aware, thank you." I replied calmly.

All this over human contact! I don't know what her deal is. It's highly unlikely that Yukino saw what Haruno did. It happened under the table. But it happened kinda slow. I mean, there was definitely a moment of lingering. Haruno's foot just hovered over my foot for a moment before making contact. I hadn't noticed it yet but it made me anticipate it to some extent.

What was this all about? I doubt Yukino would accuse Haruno of kicking me.

Well, it wasn't strong enough to be called a kick. I still don't know why I reacted-correction, overreacted-like that. It was mostly a soothing touch-her foot over mine- it was more of a small, light graze then any actual intent to cause harm.

"Let's go back to our food then shall we?" Haruno said warmly. She looked straight ahead at both Yuigahama and Yukinoshita, "I think we can have a civilised conversation over a cup of coffee, don't you think so, Yuigahama-chan, Yukino-chan?"

"You know very well, I don't like coffee nee-san." Yukinoshita grumbled, "I doubt you have forgotten about it. Nothing escapes your attention."

"Well then, perhaps a cup of lemon tea would suffice." Haruno offered with a genial smile.

"I can order for myself, nee-san." Yukinoshita replied haughtily, "You need not concern yourself."

"I will always concern myself with your wellbeing Yukino-chan." Haruno said, "You are my little sister."

"I'm not little anymore!" Yukinoshita snapped, "I can look after myself."

"…" By the looks of it Haruno had a biting remark on the tip of her lips. But she chose to stay silent.

For once I don't think she means to cause needless trouble, neither psychological nor physical. I really think she just want all of us seated together in an unfamiliar place. Maybe the service club provided a depressing backdrop. Perhaps she thought a change of scenery would do wonders for us.

Because let's face it, if she wanted to cause harm, she could have simply stepped on my foot and admitted to it to everyone. I don't know how she could have made it work, but she would have

She is just that brilliant.

I meant devious.

So for now, I am alright with calling it quits. It was just a small instance of no significance. After all, all four of us are seated together and made to share a small table. We should at least try to be civil while we can; although, if all hell breaks loose, we will all be thrown out. So win-win for me… Nah! I never had great odds; especially when it came to the Yukinoshita sisters.

As I said already, we were all seated together. It wasn't a wise choice. But social norms dictate us to put of a unified front. We came together, so we will sit together and we will eat together. I have never looked at my food with such distaste ever before. To top things off, everything was cake and pastries.

I don't like cake. It's not as repulsive as tomatoes per se. But clearly it's up there. However, desperate times call for desperate measure. It seems, I have to have my cake and eat it too. Oh boy, my brain is really not at work.

All this because of a simple nudge from Haruno. Foot on foot contact is fatal.

Or perhaps it's only Haruno.

Later when it came time to leave, Haruno held me back. Sharing the bill was a good enough excuse to buy a few minutes while we settled our dues on the counter. Yuigahama and Yukinoshita waited outside, a cute cat held their attention.

A bit of luck for took me aside, placed a chaste kiss on my cheek and left me with some free advice.

"High-school sweethearts don't last forever; friendship too as well. But one cannot live life like that. Think about it, Hachiman. At one point, you must have thought when can you leave this place and now you can. All you had to do was settle the bill."

"Settle the bill?" I repeated her words.

"Of course! Nothing in life is free. Not love, not friendship, not even wasting time, having some coffee in some cafe. Everything has a cost. We pay it and move forward. Take care now! Onee-san expects you to be a gentleman and walk those two to their home."

"What about you, Haruno?"

Haruno smiled. It was fake, artificial. "I am a grown woman. I can risk a cab ride home. Now-"

She looked out. Yukino, her sister. Yui, her sister's best friend. She turned back to me. I don't know what she saw, but she couldn't smile no more and her words held a tinge of sadness.

I heard it well.

"- Don't keep them waiting, Hachiman."

---

The End.