More than This
Chapter I
Worse Things
She kissed the boy goodnight and heard him creeping back to his room, silently treading up the stairs so as not to wake anyone up. It was past midnight and she knew she was supposed to be sleeping by now but instead of turning right around and going back to her room, Pansy sat down on one of the over-stuffed green leather armchairs.
It was late at night but the flames to the Slytherin common room still burnt brightly.
She sighed...
Why had she even agreed on staying back with him when everyone else had gone up back to the dorms...?
"There are worse things I could do,
Than go with a boy or two,
Even though the neighbourhood thinks i'm trashy and no good,
I suppose it could be true,
But there are worse things I could do..."
She couldn't help her sighs. Alone, where no one could see or hear her, Pansy Parkinson curled up in the armchair and cried.
What's the point, he wouldn't even know her name tomorrow, she'd pretend she didn't remember either, just like any other time. And just like every other time, she /would/ remember because she /had/ liked him, and, seeking again for someone to love her, and not standing being alone, she knew tomorrow night she'd seek company again...
It's not like anyone would do, Pansy liked a few boys, well not really liked, but, felt attracted to them, she went around with /them/ when she was lonely, nothing serious really..
mostly, she kept to herself..
" I could flirt with all the guys,
stare at them and bat my eyes,
press aginst them when we dance,
make them think they stand a chance,
then refuse to see it through,
thats a thing i'd never do"
Sure, she liked having fun.. after all she was young and life was suposed to be fun, or at least as much fun as it could be for her.. a parkinson, a slythering, a doomed being..
She already had a date for the hogsmeade trip tomorrow. Blaise was taking her, she was one step closer to him, to being noticed by him as a girl, as a woman..
"I could stay home every night
wait around for mr. right,
take cold showers every day
and waste my life away
on a dream that wont come true.."
The portrait hole opened and pansy jumped as she heard a voice, his voice..
"sure, I'll take you tommorrow babe.." a blond sixth year kissed him and hurried up the stairs.
Draco sighed and stretched.. they had obviously been doing it.. most likely in the astronomy tower..
She knew where he'd take girls, even if she didn't want to know she'd know.. girls dorms were full of Draco-related chattering.
She knew more than what she thought was mentally healthy for her to know..
Draco was scanning the room when he saw her, sitting down looking at the fire.
"Pansy?!" he exclaimed, genuinely worried.
He sat down beside he, his best pal was hurting and he wondered what had made her so sad.
"Draco dear, " she said, recomposing herself "had a good night?!" she asked, second-meaningly, a sirk on her face.
She couldnt stand his closeness any longer
She wanted to cry..
Not waiting for his answer Pansy stood up and said:
"Well, sleep well Draco.. I have to sleep, going to leave early for hogsmeade tommorrow."
He watched her go..
As soon as she turned around to leave, tears ran down her face..
She climbed up the stairs..
"/What did virtually every girl have that she didn't ?!?! Why that stupid blonde sixth grader bitch ?!
Why not her..?!?!/"
"I could hurt someone like me,
Out of spite or jealousy,
I don't steal and i don't lie,
But I can feel and I can cry,
A fact I bet you never knew..."
She cried in silence as she walked up the stairs. She had learnt to cry without even making a single sobbing movement...
"But to cry in front of you...
That's the worst thing I could do..."
Pansy lay in bed, numb, staring at the green covered canopy of her bed as the darkness left the skies and sunlight began to filter through the windows.
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O.k.
there will be more chapters, each one as a song fic, I hope you liked this one, plz review and tell me what you think.
Buh bye
LaDy Of ThE mOoN