Demoman takes a swig of his Scrumpy, flourishing it drunkenly like a sword, getting up and picking up his sticky launcher all while stumbling to join his teammates in ready position to prevent those darn BLUs from letting off the ungodly huge warhead. "God, Demoman are you drunk again?" Scout frowns, holding his scattergun at the ready. The new Upward map was a new relocation for the RED team recently, so they needed some warming up to do before they got used to the environment.

"Maybe," Demoman gives a half-drunken smile back at Scout, who rolls his eyes and looks ahead.

"Mission begins in three, two, one!" the gates flip open as everyone lets out a battle cry, holding their weapons up as they rush to the battlefield. The first shot was given by the enemy Sniper, who picked Scout's left leg.

"Medic!" he screams, cradling it like a child. The Medic rushes and gives a quick shot with his medigun before returning back to the Heavy, who was already busy trying to spray the cart from the enemies; BLU pushers hide behind the bomb to stop Heavy's onslaught.

"Don't worry, ladies. I have this under control!" Soldier runs to the battlefield with his shovel shrieking a battle cry, only to be shot in the head by the BLU Sniper, his faint snickering heard at the squeaking rails.

"Wanker..." he mumbles under his breath.

"Come on, fellas. Let's get movin'!" Engineer lays down a sentry box down. "Scout! Go flank them from the right-"

"Yeah yeah blah blah I got this alright?" he leaps in front of the rail, using the cart as a block. Shots were fired, and seconds after his direct jump, the Medic could already hear his cries. "Medic!"

"Should I help ze Scout?" Medic asks Engineer, who was busy upgrading his newly built dispenser. Engie grumbles in resent.

"Let 'em have it..." he says. Medic sits down on a nearby bench, watching the cart nearing the second point. Sniper waiting in anticipation for his next target to walk right in his sights.

"Vell vhat is our battle plan now?"

"Medic, I'm dying here!"

"Let's just hold them off for this point here. Let 'em have the first point, then they'll come here all confident about the next one, and that'll expose them just enough for this good ol' guy right here," Engie explains, patting his Level 3 sentry.

"MEEEDIIIC!"

Demoman, half-walking half-stumbling, manages to get up the stairs before taking a seat down on the bench next to Medic.

"Oh no..." Sniper readjusts his grip.

"Hey what is everyone doing here and not on the battle..." Demoman slurs and falls asleep, snoring conspicuously. Engie just shakes his head.

"Augh. He is drunk again!"

"Well yeah. Wot did you expect?" Sniper looks away from his scope a split second only to be mauled in the face by the BLU Sniper's Machina.

"Medic, Medic, Medic!"

"Here they are," Engie mumbles, arming his wrench. Medic, taking his medigun, sees an incoming Heavy, obviously tired from running so much.

"Medic...I need...healing.." the tired Russian plops down on the bench, breathing heavily.

"Zhere Zhere, we'll take care of zhis, in the zhe meantime, WHY AREN'T VE DEFENDING?!" Demoman wakes up a bit.

A rocket from the BLU Soldier explodes the sentry, sending bits of the metal flying everywhere in the room. Medic ducks down from the shrapnel. 'Where is that Engineer...'

"HAUGH!" Medic recoils in shock, seeing that the Engineer is sprawled on the ground with a stab wound driven into his back. "Demo! Zhere is a Spy around here!" Medic whispers gently, keeping his medigun on the Heavy.

"I'm kind of dying over here!"

"Spy?!" Demo slurs, a tinge of panic in his tone. "INCOMING!" He fires a bunch of his grenades from his grenade launcher all at once, bouncing them all over the room.

Medic frowns, redirecting his healing beam to the drunken Demo. The grenades detonate at once, revealing an invisible BLU Spy. The Spy, nearly dead by the consecutive explosions, loses his balance and falls off the window. Demo, still being healed by the team doctor, looks out the window, seeing the dead Spy on the ground.

"That'll teach ya to not be a smokin' dead blurgh..." The Demoman passes out with alcohol, his arms dangling from the window. The irritated Medic takes his fainted teammate and sits him down on the bench near the Heavy, who was ready to return to the fight.

Demoman wakes up a bit. "The enemy has captured then second point!" The announcer shrieks. His eyes widen.

"Second point!" The Demo gets up with his sticky grenade launcher in hand. "Aye, I'll get 'em!" The whole team was advancing towards the cart, and Medic and Heavy we're king down the stairs to flanks hem from the rear. Demoman stays behind, launching his entire ammo pool drunkenly, every one of them sticking onto the the payload cart.

"Everyone, GO GET'EM!" Demoman banzai leaps from the window, releasing a cracking battle cry. His entire ammo pool of sticky grenades were latched onto the cart. Medic and Heav, rejoined by the entire team behind them, look up to see the Demo flailing his arms, right before he triggers the projectile sticky bombs.

Every grenade explodes, including the cart, sending the RED team flying westwards. With everyone screaming and flailing like the Scottish explosives expert, they sail like birds through the air at an astonishing speed, the landscape below them flying by. After an i ute off panicking and screaming, the team calms down.

"Are-are we flin'?!" asks the Scout, flapping his arms like wings.

"Heavy does not like this feeling..." Heavy is still a bit dizzy and motion sick from the sudden takeoff and loses a dozen sandviches. Everyone groans in disgust.

"Look out below!" Demoman yells at the desert ground below with a half-drunken smile.

And he goes for the kickoff! There's a new story on my archive of stories. Expect this to be a good one, because I don't plan for any unexpected, turbulent procrastination sessions and long eras of writer's block.

Thanks anyways!

-DWalkthroughGuy