......................
.:: Endless Irritation ::.
.:: a fanfiction by ::.
:: Justin Kennedy ::
::........................::

(Hehe, look what I found. You hadn't published it, so I decided to
take the liberty. Don't you just love me? -rainy)
.....................................................................

Blue eyes managed to spark fiery anger at him while she snapped,
her whole face literally contorted into a display of irritation.

"Will you stop that!!"

It was less of a question than a statement; even though this was
painfully obvious, the very nature of the sentence piqued his
curiousity. While it was true that he really hadn't done anything,
saying anything now could only lead to prolonged trouble.

But then again, the smirking black-haired boy had never really
prided himself on being particularly tactful. Momentarily he slowed,
dropping back to resume a mirror position on the girl's opposite
side. Hands behind his head, Ash turned his face toward the clouds.

"What'd I do, this," pausing reflectfully a moment, "this time?"

Once again the irritated girl turned her red head, averting her
gaze.

"You were being so Ash-y..."

Before jumping in with a smart answer, Ash waited a second,
admiring the beautiful mountain scenery. He listened to the chirping
of the Pidgey in the trees, various clicking sounds of Bug Pokemon in
the assorted foliage, and with noticeably less interest, the
grumbling of his companion.

Finally, he spoke over her low-voiced obscenities and violent
threats. Picking his words carefully, he enunciated himself clearly,
making sure she heard everything he said: the way he said it.

"What's wrong with that??"

Scrunching her nose, Misty frowned. Evidently, (not really that
surprisingly, either) he was so dense that he didn't realize his own
inherent irritatingness. Irritatingness, was that even a word,
damnit?

Another pause rang out, longer this time. After hours of
bickering, the silence seemed to echo between the trees and off of
the cliffsides; the assorted Pokemon noises only added to the quiet.

After what seemed like hours, Misty finally vented on an unusually
attent boy.

"Because I liked it."

Eyebrows raised, Ash listened as she continued in an irritated
tirade.

"Even though I didn't want to, I liked it. I really hate you: you
just... irritate me so damn much it's driving me insane. But I don't
hate you, damnit!!"

His eyebrows raised further; whether it was her near-psychotic
frantic speech or what she was actually saying that caused it was
unclear.

"I like you -- damnit, it's so freaking irritating!! I don't want to
like you, you're so stupid and dense and..."

Struggling to keep a straight face, Ash looked at her. Misty was
glaring angrily ahead at the innocent scenery, not even noticing him
trudging alongside her. The incident was bordering on making him
convulse with laughter, or worse, start crying out of fear.

"... and I don't know what's more irritating, you, or the fact that I
like you!! Damn, it's so irritating..."

Still wordless, Ash's eyes widened; she was starting to creep him
out. Nonetheless, he continued staring at her, enchanted by the
absurdity of the situation.

"I don't know what you're doing to me, but you're gonna stop now!!
It's really ticking me off, following a little kid around trying to
get my bike back, and then you're making me like you even though I
hate you and it's so irritating!!"

If her eyes sparked fire at him earlier, her piercing gaze could
have reduced the still-innocent landscape into a wasteland. This was
so incredibly weird. So weird, he couldn't hold it back. Thanking
God that she was still ranting loudly, he laughed a quiet,
near-insane laugh all to himself.

"It's so damn pathetic, I'm an older girl following this little loser
around trying to get my bike back -- and not only am I enjoying this
stupid experience, I'm starting to like the little squirt!! I should
be out on my own Pokemon journey, meeting cool guys and catching
powerful Pokemon, but oh no, I'm tagging along with this stupid
little cretin who's probably just using me and..."

Misty sighed loudly, exasperatedly. Then she noticed the
now-delusional, mostly-insane boy wandering the path alongside her.
When his deranged chuckling reached her ears, she lost any shred of
self-control she had possessed moments earlier.

Lifting him up several inches off the ground by his collar, she
proceeded to scream threats into his face.

"... and after I do that... I'm gonna kill you!!"

Pausing a tense second before dropping him unceremoniously back to
the unforgiving ground, she looked at his wide scared eyes. He
opened his mouth a second, then closed it again. She smirked and
shook him roughly.

"Spit it out!!"

She hoped he would say something mean and hateful, so she could
yell at him some more; it would make her feel better. Because it
wasn't really his fault: though nothing could make her happier than
if it really was.

It took a few seconds for Ash to actually 'spit it out', but
another session of shaking convinced him to say what he had to as
quickly as possible.

"I love you too Misty."

For a dumbfounded moment, they just stared at each other, a blush
growing over Misty's face. Not satisfied with dropping him, she
actually threw him into the ground. Squealing loudly, she stepped a
few feet away from him.

"Get away from me, you little pervert!!"

While he dusted himself off and checked for broken bones, Misty
put on a carefully-rehearsed show of distaste.

"Oooh, I knew it, you were just using me!! What'd you expect me to
do," she posed coquettishly, one hand to her forehead, the other
thrown over her shoulder, "faint or something??"

Satisfied that he was more-or-less in one piece, Ash hopped up, a
happy little grin on his face. Actually it was more of a stupid one,
but it served the purpose.

"Using you?? Faint??"

Ash couldn't help it. He started laughing uncontrollably, unable
to choke back the mirth, even though it would likely lead to a great
deal of pain. Misty looked somewhere between hurt and disturbed.

"Okay now, seriously. What would... ahem... am, I using you for?"

"You know..."

Evidently he did. Ears red, Ash looked quite taken aback. Misty
giggled in spite of the situation.

"I haven't even held your hand, let alone kiss you, or even look at
you sidelong, or say that you're cute, or anything. That is the
most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

Recanting, Misty dug for another way for him to be using her.

"Okay, maybe not that, but maybe it's my vast knowledge of Pokemon
and my valuable advice..."

"One, I'm no Water Pokemon trainer, and secondly, I've never listened
to any of your advice, no matter how wise it would have been."

"So it's not that either..."

"Oh -- my turn, my turn!! I know, I want you around because I want
you to constantly criticize everything I do, and complain about how
stupid I am, and because I enjoy incurring near-fatal injuries from
psycho chicks!!"

Misty pouted, as seriously as such an act could be done. Ash
threw his hands up into the air and commenced hitting his forehead in
an effort to make it all go away. Both dropped to their knees and
averted gazes from each other.

"You're so mean."

"You're the one who's violent here, not me."

Though her face was still flushed from yelling at him, all
semblances of anger had left her: he could swear she almost looked
sad. Probably not; she was just getting her second wind before
beating the hell out of him.

He still looked a little dazed: if she didn't know better, he
might actually be upset. Nah, couldn't happen. This was Mr. Dense
in the flesh here... ahh, whatever.

Shrugging it off, Misty gathered herself and stood up. Ash
accepted her outstretched hand, and they resumed shambling down the
path, bickering in a far more reserved fashion than before.

"Are you okay there, Misty? I thought for a minute there that you
were going to actually kill me right there..."

"So did I."

"... you know I was really just joking when I said that, right?"

"... although I definitely regret not doing it now. You're so
stupid. I really do hate you."

"Lovely. I think you need to seek professional help. And if you
really hated me, you wouldn't care whether I liked you or not."

"Okay, I don't hate you... HEY!! I don't need professional help, you
little..."

"Oh yeah, and what exactly did you expect ME to say when you said you
liked me, hmmm? I'm not exactly falling over backwards, am I??"

"Now that was really mean."

"I agree. You shouldn't talk to me like that anymore. I think next
town I'm buying you a bike so you'll stop being mean to me and go
away. What do you think?"

"Buy me all the bikes you want, I'm not going away."

"Why not? I thought you really don't like me."

"You're right, I don't like you... I LOVE you..."

"Ahh, get-away-from-me... God, don't ever tease me like that again..."

"Who said I was teasing??"

"Well, you obviously can't be serious here, so that pretty much
eliminates anything ELSE..."

"Okay, so you're right... for now..."

"That was way too suggestive for my likings. Please change that to
something like 'forever' and I'll refrain from running and hiding."

"Not a chance, Ashy-boy."

"Don't call me that."

"Ashy-boy."

"I said 'don't call me that!!'"

.....................................................................

Ash sat up, yawned loudly, then settled back into the half-slumped
sleeping position he had assumed half an hour ago. He tried
desperately to ignore the smell of the ramen that Misty was eating.
She had snagged the very last package, leaving him with none.

Admittedly there had been a scuffle over the ownership of the
noodles, but it was a very short-lived one. Misty had threatened
extreme physical violence to him -- he had of course initially
ignored it. If he had actually listened to his better judgement, he
might not have as many bruises as he did now. Ah well. At least the
fire was warming his broken body a bit... wiping a trickle of blood
from the corner of his nose, he shivered a little and pulled his
jacket closer around him.

Slurping the last of the broth from the ramen, Misty discarded the
cup. Tossing it into the plastic bag with the rest of the trash, she
watched the fire out of the corner of her eye. Stupid, incompetent
Ash had got it going, but it didn't look like it'd last too much
longer. How pathetic. Speak of the devil -- the fire gave one last
pitiful flicker and blew out unceremoniously.

Misty rolled her eyes. Ash was shivering in his sleep in a
relatively pitiful manner, too stupid to have actually moved to his
sleeping bag before sleeping. Sighing disappointedly, she stepped
around the now-dead fire and knelt next to him briefly. Carefully
slipping one arm under his shoulders and the other near his knees.

Although she constantly teased him about how much he ate, Ash
really didn't weigh all that much; it was easy for her to pick him
up. This wasn't the first time she had done it either; it wasn't too
uncommon for her to carry him back to his sleeping bag.

Only usually Ash didn't wake up half-way there. Eyes snapping
open, Ash struggled frantically a moment before realizing he was
being carried. As his puzzled face turned up toward her, Misty tried
to ignore him in full haughty form -- nose up, head turned so that
only the profile of her face was visible.

"Please put me down before you drop me..."

"I'm not going to drop you. Don't be getting any ideas about this
either..."

"... I'm really trying not to. Just the thought of being near you
makes me feel slightly ill."

"Let's keep it that way."

"Maybe if you weren't so skinny and violent it wouldn't be so bad,
you know..."

"Cute, very cute," she snapped, dropping him surprisingly gently onto
the sleeping bag. "Good night."

"'Night, Misty..." he replied sleepily, a few minutes later adding,
"... thanks for the thought, anyway."