No Regrets

by Shini'chi Raine

P3P: Shinjirou supposed he shouldn't be jealous; after all, he couldn't physically be with her. Still, even though he had wanted to leave without regrets, there was still one thing left for him to do… Shinji x FeMC

No Regrets

By Shini'chi Raine

Raine: … Actually, I don't really have that much to say this time around. This is a one-shot tribute to Aragaki Shinjirou of the Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 Portable RPG. Love you, Shinji—I hate that they took you out so quickly! One month to play and battle with you, and you're gone, just like that. [weeps]

Categories: Games/Persona Series

Genre: Romance/Drama (Angst/Tragedy)

Rated: T – For Language & Violence, Implied Sexual Scenes

Couple(s): Shinjirou/FeMC

Summary: P3P: Shinjirou supposed he shouldn't be jealous; after all, he couldn't physically be with her. Still, even though he had wanted to leave without regrets, there was still one thing left for him to do… Shinji x FeMC

Note! I decided to throw in the MC in this fic, but he has few appearances, so don't worry too much about that. Just wanted to let you all know ahead of time! I like to think of the MC as the "twin" sibling to the FeMC as their roles are basically the same, just one is male and the other is female. [chuckles] Another thing is that I wrote this with a slight twist—see the spoiler warning below for more explanations.

SPOILER WARNING!
I'm begging you not to read past this if you haven't gotten to this part of the game yet. If you don't care about spoilers, go on ahead, if you do, turn back now and get yourself towards this part of the game. You must have maxed out the Moon Arcana (via romance picks, btw) with Shinji while playing as the FeMC to understand what's going on, though I'm pretty sure this is straightforward anyway.
All right—Read on!

[Persona 3 Portable]

"SHINJI!"

"SENPAI!"

"SHINJIROU-SENPAI!"

"Nooooooooooooo!"

Shouts from various members of the SEES group watched in horror as their suddenly short-term member, Aragaki Shinjirou, collapsed on the ground in front of them, gasping for breath. Two—maybe three?—quickly growing spots of blood were soaking his maroon pea coat darker, and everyone was in a panic. The SEES leader was crying, though she attempted to remain calm in order to calm all of her fellow SEES members. Shinjirou coughed again, spitting out blood, and attempted a smile towards his secret lover's direction.

"Don't cry, Mika…"

Takaya laughed cruelly as he aimed his gun towards Ken. The brunette wiped at her tears furiously as she made a dive towards the young 10-year-old, only to find that Akihiko had beaten her to it, stopping Takaya with his own fists.

"YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!"

Clearly, Akihiko was extremely upset—but so were the rest of them. Mika grabbed hold of Ken who had fallen on his knees next to Shinjirou and was quietly sobbing.

"Aah… Aaaaaaaaaaaah!"

"Ken-kun! Ken-kun! Calm down—c'mon, we have to go!"

"…Ah, y-yes! Quickly, Akihiko!"

She shook the young boy gently as Mitsuru contacted her special ops for an emergency, with Strega vanishing after some words about 'something more important to do' which she mentally noted for later. Akihiko and Mitsuru had moved Shinjirou's body onto a vehicle that had appeared within minutes; and they sped off to who knew where to attempt to treat their fallen member. She was slowly calming her teammates down despite her own tears streaking down her face like a miniature waterfall. This was an utter nightmare. A nightmare she never wanted… and Mika found herself crying harder as she recalled the night before. Her last good memory of Shinji…

[Persona 3 Portable]

He woke with a gasp, only to find himself staring straight down at his own body, hooked up to an IV machine and other various machines—so he was in a hospital. Hearing voices, he finally noticed that Akihiko and Mika were talking quietly, though the two had obvious tear streaks on their faces. He grimaced as he floated closer to them to hear what they were saying.

"He's been like this for the past week."

"Senpai, I don't know what we're going to do…"

"…"

The two fell silent, and he cursed the fact that he couldn't quite figure out what they were talking about. So he'd been unconscious like this for a week. He still was unconscious, in fact, but considering the circumstances, he wasn't surprised it was still taking him a long time to recover. He thought he'd died, actually; come on, he had three fucking bullets go through him as he protected Ken.

"Senpai… Can I… be alone with him for a little while?"

"Huh? Oh, sure, Mika."

Akihiko gave Mika a confused look, but nodded as he patted her shoulder gently if a tad awkwardly. Shinjirou rolled his eyes while growling slightly. Of course Akihiko was on a first name basis with Mika. Then again… only Akihiko wouldn't know how to deal with a girl he so obviously liked. And Inoue Mika, the leader of the SEES group, was very popular. Akihiko soon left after a final glance back at Shinji's unconscious body and an unusually quiet SEES leader. Mika sniffled and made herself comfortable in one of the available guest chairs provided for visitors. Shinjirou floated closer until he was sitting cross-legged in the air, facing his secret-yet-not-so-secret lover.

"Y'know, Shinjirou-senpai…"

The girl paused, suddenly looking unsure of what she should say. Shinjirou waited patiently, since he really had nothing better to do. He used this little momentary pause to memorize every inch of his girlfriend: from her soft, shiny dark brown hair, to her unusual ruby eyes, her lovable pouty lips… The list would have gone on had Mika not started talking again, laughing slightly.

"Heh, I called you senpai again, even though you told me over and over not to call you that. Um… Shinji… I want you to know that I still love you. I don't know… I… I really wish you were awake to answer me and tell me you love me, too. It's been so hard this past week. Everyone is still in shock; in fact, I think the only other people who have taken this as hard as Akihiko-senpai and me is probably Ken-kun and Fuuka-chan. Thankfully, you're not dead…"

Here, the girl grimaced, practically forcing herself to spit out the dreaded word, and Shinjirou found himself reaching out towards her, only to find his hand go right through her. He froze, and then clenched his hand into a fist as he slowly pulled back. Mika took a deep breath as she composed herself once more, and Shinjirou desperately wanted to hug her, to hold her, anything, to make the sad, haunted look in her eyes go away.

"Guess what, Shinji? We got another transfer student at Gekkoukan High. His name's Ryouji… Um, he kinda scares me, y'know. I feel like I know him from somewhere, and he feels the same. Aigis seems to know him, too, but she thinks he's dangerous. Heheh… he's really, uh, "handsy" around me, and it's a little hard to tell him to stop touching me since he's really a nice guy."

Shinjirou narrowed his eyes at the mention of yet another guy making moves on his girl. He had known for a long while that Akihiko had fallen for her and that little Ken had grown a crush on her, and he had heard of some guy named Hidetoshi confessing his feelings to her as well… But damn, this girl really had way too many guys surrounding her. He was only thankful Junpei only saw her as a sister; otherwise he'd beat that idiot's head in for making eyes at his girl besides being his usual stupid flirtatious self.

He supposed he shouldn't be jealous; after all, he couldn't physically be with her. It occurred to him that he had meant to leave with no regrets after promising to meet up with Ken. Ken had wanted revenge, but he had tried to teach the little guy that it wasn't the right way to go about things… And then Strega turned up, and plans just flew out the window. He… the night before, when Mika had pushed and shoved her way into his room—his heart—and they had spent a long night together, she had made him promise not to leave. And it was then he'd made his resolve: to try and convince Ken not to kill him and to avoid having a murder on the kid's conscious. Still, even though he'd wanted to leave without regrets, there was still something for him to do, if his floating spirit was anything to go by.

"Real smart, Shinji, leaving the girl you love behind like that."

He jumped a good five feet (well, floated really high and fast) in the air when an odd yet familiar voice broke through his thoughts. Mika, during this time, had taken his unconscious body's hand and was holding it tightly. He desperately wanted to squeeze back… However, there were more important things for him to do right now; such as acknowledging the strange but familiar voice. He turned to find himself face to face with his Persona: Castor.

"Cas… Castor!"

The Persona seemed to present a smug look; despite the fact that Shinjirou couldn't really read his persona's expression... if the persona even had an expressive way of… well, expressing… its expression. How was this possible? Weren't Personas a part of the soul? How was he communicating with his Persona like this? As the thoughts raced through his mind, he noticed Mika had finally gotten up and wiped her tears. He found himself agonizing over the fact he couldn't return her kisses. She had kissed him first on the forehead, and then gently on his lips before she had left for the night. He returned his attention to his partner, a silent spectator to all that had happened.

"All right. Spill. I'd like to know what the fuck is going on. You're supposed to be a part of me, so I don't understa—"

Castor cut him off, an amused look—or what appeared to be an amused look, or whatever the hell it was but Shinji just knew it was either a smug or amused look—dancing across his face. Shinji shifted slightly, annoyed and somewhat uncomfortable with the look Castor was giving him.

"What you need to know, Shinjirou, is that your little girlfriend is going to be forced to make a heavy choice in the coming months. Without you around, without that straightforward strength your buddies count on, the SEES group is currently in chaos. They are all devastated by your little tragedy—and your little girlfriend is at her wits' end."

"What do you mean by "a heavy choice"?"

Castor had floated closer to his physical body, and now turned to eye Shinjirou. "Aragaki Shinjirou: you left behind lessons people will not forget. However, in your wake, you left a dark burden—and Inoue Mika is the only one of the SEES group who has any chance of defeating the evil to come."

…Evil to come? Castor was hiding more than he was letting on, but Shinjirou figured he'd find out sooner or later—except that he found out much sooner than he wanted to.

[Persona 3 Portable]

Months (or at least weeks, it certainly felt like months) went by where Shinji's floating spirit only saw Akihiko visiting him during those months—er, weeks, and his girlfriend never came again after that first initial time he saw her. At first, this angered Shinjirou, but all of Akihiko's visits kept him updated on the "what's going on's" of the outer world. His persona was a resolute shadow soldier constantly hovering behind him, though Castor's constant "witty" remarks had gotten old after the first month; the first week, actually. He was bemused to how he'd held out so long against his persona's weird personality; but, then again, Castor was simply a part of him that manifested differently thanks to the Dark Hour. …Which meant of course that Castor was a side of himself that "could have been" had he lived a different life. He happened to be staring at the clock when the door to his hospital room opened once more (again, Akihiko ignored the sign of "visitors not allowed") and in walked the boxer himself.

"Hey, Shinji; how're you? This has gone on forever… you remember that Ryouji guy I told you 'bout?"

He sure did. Not that he cared that much so long as this Ryouji guy left Mika alone. Akihiko had an angry and haunted look on his face, his fists clenching on the arms of the chair he sat in. His best friend, the boxing champion, took a deep breath, and then as he broke the news, Shinjirou found Castor holding him back from trying to kill Akihiko.

"That Ryouji guy is the collaboration of the twelve big shadows we all defeated on the nights of the full moon; turns out that bastard Ikutsuki tricked us and manipulated the video recording of Yukari's father… Apparently, Yukari's father originally warned to not fight the big twelve shadows and to leave them alone. Anyway, we suddenly got a new member. Inoue's twin brother, Minato, is our newest buddy… I'll introduce you two sometime. Minato's kinda secluded like you, Shinji, but he's opening up a bit more."

Akihiko paused again as he realized he'd spun off topic, and Shinjirou glared at his persona who was shaking with what appeared to be laughter. He personally didn't care too much, but the information on his girlfriend's brother was interesting. He was beginning to wish he'd get out of his comatose state. Castor simply floated behind him, once again an ever present shadow—he smirked slightly at the irony—to his spirit-like self.

"Minato is every bit Inoue's twin, Shinji; well, except that he can use several weapons, but they can both switch through several personas. Mitsuru seems to really like him, but then again, I think all the girls are in love with him, the way they all act and all. Junpei doesn't seem to like him, but well, this past week or so they've become practically best friends…"

Tired of hearing about Mika's twin, he started to ignore Akihiko's droning until something caught his attention.

"—aining at Tartarus even more now. So, that Ryouji guy told us that 'The End' is basically coming in the form of some god called Nyx, who intends to wipe out all of humanity. He said because he lived inside the Inoue twins, we had a choice—to kill him and lose our memories of the Dark Hour, or don't kill him and face the inevitable with our memories intact. Mika is the only one who can kill him, though … Minato probably can, too, but Ryouji approached Mika first, or something like that, so only she can kill him…"

It appeared that Akihiko couldn't wrap his mind around it. Shinjirou himself had trouble understanding what was going on, especially with the knowledge that their eventual deaths were practically around the corner, and there was no way to stop it.

…At all.

And just like that, Shinjirou suddenly knew why he was like this; he suddenly realized why he was in this spirit-like state, and as soon as he came to that realization, he turned to face his persona, who somehow managed to give him a look, or expression, or something that spoke of approval.

"Well done, Shinji."

Castor slowly faded, and Shinjirou glanced back down at his best friend, who remained sitting with a troubled expression on his face, though Akihiko had stopped talking. Nodding his silent thanks to his boxing-loving friend, he stared down at his semi-lifeless body and smiled wryly.

He had to get to Mika somehow.

[Persona 3 Portable]

He found her, surprisingly, in his room at the dorm, lying on his bed and staring up at the ceiling. Her ruby-eyes were red-rimmed, and he winced. She had been crying. He floated closer when he heard a knock on the door, and he paused, wondering who the hell would know if anyone was in this room of all places except for maybe Mika herself.

"Go away, Minato."

"Minato" sounded familiar; Shinjirou paused as he tried to figure out where he'd heard that name, when the door opened and he was startled out of his thoughts. In place of the door stood a young man with blue hair, blue eyes, a serious if worried expression on his face. He wore a black overcoat that suited his demeanor, which, now that Shinjirou recalled, was indeed similar to the way he, himself, held. He chuckled sourly. Just like Akihiko had said.

"Mika. You can't keep doing this. I can't take your place as the leader forever. Ryouji gave the choice to you. If I could… if I could take your place, I would."

"Mito*, you don't understand. I'm not going to kill Ryouji."

"Of course not. I know you. We're going to fight Nyx, aren't we?"

"…Yeah."

"Then why are you always in here instead of your own room on the 3rd floor, idiot?"

"…This room…"

Shinjirou watched as the bluenette (the guy really was like him, but he didn't take a lot of comfort in that idea) sighed in frustration as the young man approached the brunette. This guy certainly didn't take no for an answer, and in some ways, Shinjirou was glad. It would get his beloved to stop moping and sulking, at any rate.

"Mika. Your boyfriend is in a coma right now, and unless you get up and do something to fix his comatose state, laying here and crying about it isn't going to change a damn thing."

"Mito…"

"C'mon, Mika. You're stronger than this. We're twins—I know. Elizabeth and Theodore are getting worried. They haven't seen you visit in over a week, you know. And we still need to train."

Shinjirou blinked, wondering who the hell this Elizabeth and Theodore were, but decided to not ask any questions. He glanced at the only clock that blinked on the table next to his bed. It read 9:30pm. He still had a bit of time before midnight, but he needed to see her… to talk to her somehow before the Dark Hour tonight. Otherwise, he'd be too late.

"Look, I already told the gang we'd be training tonight, and that for once, you're leading the group again. You've been here longer than me, and even though we're twins, I don't have the same ability and experience as you."

"I know, Mito, I… Just, it's been so hard. Akihiko-senpai won't let me visit the hospital, and I haven't seen… haven't seen him in months."

"I thought Ryouji cheered you up for a while there…"

"I love him, but it's not like how I love Shinjirou, Minato."

The blue-haired boy flinched when Mika said his full name, and Shinjirou took that as a sign she had been extremely serious about her statement. Still, it pained him to see how much she was suffering, and he now wondered why Aki wasn't allowed her to visit his hospital room. That in itself was strange… was Aki trying to protect her in some way? …Strange…

"Fine. Just prepare yourself for tonight. You're lucky Mitsuru is pulling strings for your absences from school."

"I bet it's 'cause you're screwing her, isn't it?"

"Hey!"

Shinjirou raised an eyebrow. The guy certainly moved fast…

"Well, Yukari-chan and Fuuka-chan are jealous like crazy, you know. Aigis is…"

The two fell quiet as they seemed to contemplate the humanistic robot, and Shinjirou decided he'd been patient enough. He wanted that brother of hers out so he could attempt to communicate to Mika somehow. As if reading his thoughts, Mika fluttered her hands at her brother.

"Mito, tell everyone I'll see them at Tartarus."

"Huh? Ah, yeah. Be careful, Mika. And hurry!"

"You know it."

The bluenette finally left the room, and Shinjirou focused all his attention on his girlfriend, who continued to lie in his bed, though she now had an arm thrown across her face.

"Shinji, stop staring at me and say something already."

He started at her words, eyes widening in shock. She could see him?

"Shinji… The only reason I can see you, and know you're here, is because I… well, it's my last chance before the inevitable, I'm guessing. There's other reasons why I know this is my last chance, and why I can see you, but that's beside the point. I love you, Shinji…"

"Mika…"

His whispered words held as much of a loving tone as he could muster. He truly loved her too much; of all things, his one regret was her. And to think, he had planned to leave this world with no regrets. He paused as her words fully registered.

"The… inevitable?"

She gave a rueful smile as she removed her arm, and looked straight at him hovering over her. Her rueful smile was pained, sad… strained. Obviously he was missing some major information, probably during the time he'd ignored Akihiko's droning.

"The inevitable… referring to fighting 'the end of the world' as we know it. The end is some great godly being named 'Nyx', who is coming because the 13 great shadows are once again "one"; Nyx, the very epitome of 'death' for humanity."

He swore as the new information hit him like an avalanche. He should have listened when Akihiko had been updating his comatose body on the going-on's from the outside world—he really should have. But, he was here now, he had reached a realization that he had always known. Since he didn't have a lot of time—the clock now read 10:45pm—he floated closer, reaching out to her, and flinching when Mika reached towards him and her hand went right through his.

"Mika… do you remember what I told you, the night before that incident, when I got shot protecting Ken?"

The auburn-haired girl nodded, remaining silent, waiting for him. She was so good at that; listening and being able to tell when someone needed the simplicity of listening ears. It was one of many traits he just loved about this girl; of course, his favorite was her showing him her vulnerable side that no one else saw, save for probably that brother of hers.

"…You don't have to forgive me," he began, repeating the same words he'd told her on that night. "But forgive everything else. Remember that… and be brave, Mika. Always smile; yeah, just like that, except without the tears, dunce," he teased gently, noting the tears that were forming in her ruby eyes, though they had yet to fall.

"Don't cry, Mika…" he whispered, and watched as his see-through body began to become fainter than it already was.

"…I love you…"

His last vision was of a smiling albeit crying Mika who continued to reach toward him, only to clench her hand into a fist that she slowly pulled her hand back, sobbing fiercely.

The world went white.

[Persona 3 Portable]

His vision burst into black and white fireworks before color finally settled in, and he saw Mika standing by her lonesome in front of some giant… golden egg… thing… with the voices of all the SEES members, and other unfamiliar voices echoing around them, giving encouragement.

He grinned. It was the last fight, wasn't it? Not one to be left out, he threw in his little two cents as well, knowing Mika would hear all the love thrown into his words, despite the short phrase.

"All right… Let's do this."

With tears streaming down her face, Mika brought the gleaming silver gun to her head, and with a shout, cried…

"ORPHEUS TELOS! GREAT SEAL!"

The world exploded again, and he found himself jolting awake in a bright, white room, and a nurse who happened to be checking on him shrieked her surprise, and then quickly contacted the doctor. His room buzzed with activity as the doctor ran in and checked him over while all the nurses ran around doing whatever it was they were doing, with one nurse in the background making a call.

It took him a minute to figure out what was going on; he felt like he was forgetting something; something very, very important. He sat there for a full 15 minutes before he remembered what exactly it was he'd forgotten. He bolted out of bed before bending over at the sudden movement. He'd also forgotten he was in the hospital because he'd be shot. Gasping as he sucked in large gulps of air, he pushed past all the crazy medical people as he made a dash for the open door.

He had to get to the high school—to his Mika, who he just knew was waiting for him.

[Persona 3 Portable]

He grunted as he reached the school after running into practically all the other S.E.E.S. members and finding out where they'd all promised to meet were they to succeed in their final mission. Dashing past them all, ignoring Akihiko's concerned yells, he burst onto the rooftop to find her lying peacefully on a bench, staring at the sky with half-open eyes.

At the sound of his approach, she turned her head slightly to see that he was gasping for breath as he walked towards her.

"You idiot! I can't believe you'd make a sick man do this," he chuckled, reaching towards her. She smiled at him, giggling quietly—he frowned; it was almost too quiet a giggle.

"I can't believe it, but I forgot everything. I'm sorry, Mika… I left you alone for months… but I'm glad I remember now, dunce…" He trailed off as he noticed that she was rapidly losing body warmth, and he began to feel dread like never before.

"I… love you…" She barely spoke above a whisper, seeing as she was growing weaker and weaker. He held her tight against him. Silent tears flowed from his eyes, startling him. He hadn't cried like this since he was a kid. His grip tightened on the cold form of his girlfriend.

"I'm… so glad… I met you…" He told her, knowing that the smile she gave him before she finally closed her eyes told him that she understood.

He'd wanted no regrets when he nearly lost his life.

His one regret had been her…

And now, he understood that he shouldn't regret the fact that he had been unable to be with his beloved throughout the past months; she had saved his life in a strange way—the old pocket watch he had now had a dent in it, thanks to the bullet—and he would live.

He would live for her.

"I won't forget you ever again," he whispered fiercely, though Mika could no longer hear him. "I'll live for you, because you saved my life, and I'll live for us both, because you would want that, right, idiot?"

He paused, his tears drying.

"…I love you…"

[Persona 3 Portable]

Far above the Earth, Mika watched over her close friends from the S.E.E.S. group as Ryouji joined her.

"Your brother will take care of them… he has the same power as you, after all."

She smiled slightly, taking his hand in hers for comfort. She had no regrets about what she had left behind… or at least, she felt that way. She had left parting words for both her brother and her Shinjirou, but still… Ryouji squeezed her hand, smiling at her gently.

"Don't worry, my dearest. They know."

Looking at the human form of "death" with an exasperated grin, she nodded. "I know, Ryouji-kun."

Now, they all had no regrets.

[Persona 3 Portable]

Raine: Er, I said that it was dedicated to Shinji, but I needed to end it just right. I hope you all enjoyed it! Please review! I'll even take flames—so long as they're constructive criticism!