My hands are shaking.

I can't eat.

I can't sleep.

For awhile I was not living. I was surviving. Sometimes you dream about going back to when everything was easy. Funny thing is that I'm not even in bad mood. At this point, I just don't really like my life, but if you can't do something, dream it. And that's what I do, dream. The truth is that my life is awesome. And no, I don't like it, I love it. At least sometimes. I have friends. Maybe even someone I love? I don't know. I have a slight problem with the head. Did I mentioned that I'm a junkie? This is probably the reason for everything that I say. Normally it's not that bad, but this time Shikamaru exaggerated with the stuff. Well, shit happens.

So I'm sitting on the grass and leaning against a tree. My dog jumping around Hinata. She is barefoot and has tousled hair. She has a large shirt and shorts, and she seems to having real fun. She is not a freak, she is, I'd rather say, unique. And she is a girl I may, propably love . And she may, propably loves me. But none of us will start the topic, even if we kissed, even if we fucked. This is fine. I wouldn't hurt HER even as stoned bag. In this case, I guess I'm an altruist. Just hard to forget someone who gives me so much to remember. Hinata really is amazing. Of course there are others, right? Like Shino. Oh, shit, he is a real weirdo. Always sitting quiet and focused, one fuck knows what, but I really love the guy. It is this type which you can sit with quietly and there's no awkward silence. I think he's just a little surprised by his own life. Just like me. The only difference is that I sometimes tendto be hyperactive. But what can I do?

I have a really diverse friends. And none of them is completely normal. Let's say,Naruto. I think he's the biggest jerk with the biggest heart than anybody can have . You know , You'll hear him coming five minutes before he really appears, because he's so loud. Hinata told me once that he is just like a puppy. It's funny thing that she said it to me, huh? But anyway, there was a time when I thought he was gay. Actually, I'm still not sure. Taking into consideration his atachment to Sasuke ,Sakura may be a cover. But somehow I don't want to consider. I could feel threatened. Not that I was anti-gay, but it would be a little ceepy. Going back to the topic, perhaps the most fucked up of them all is Neji. If only he knew that maybe, possibly I'm in love with his cousin he would apologized to me because of our friendship, and soon after that he would smashed my head against the wall. As for Hinata, he can be really, I would say, determined. But that's good. She's so fragile. Neji definitely doesn't like the drugs, but he likes alcohol and cigarettes. He also likes to take care of his hair-no-he has fuckin obssesion with them even higher than the obsession with Hinata. But, damn, I love to play cards with him. Although I had never won.

There is also Shikamaru. Dealer # 1, the genius, the greatest lazy junkie I know. Perhaps if he could he would sit all day on his ass and smoked weed. But I like his jokes, sometimes they are even worse than mine. He sometimes begins to thinking obiut life and if he is really depressing then. But usually it doesn't bother anyone. We are all accustomed to his philosophical lectures. And so they are short. Shikamaru quickly become boring and sometimes quickly gives up. That's the way he is. I think for him it's just too much to do. That's it. There is also me. I am sometimes perverse. I like to embarrass people-they make funny faces. I'm a great liar and a hopeless comforter. I tell poor jokes, but my friends laugh. Sometimes They have to hep me get to my house because I can't make it myself. I have two overgrown teeth and I like meat. I hate coffee and I am afraid of womens like my mother. My life is a series of failures and wins. I wear sneakers and listen to music so loud that the neighbors can hear it. I'm addicted to four things: Hinata, cola, my friends and drugs. I have weird friends. And you know what? I fucking love them.