The secret submissive

Chapter one

Anastasia

I love pain. Ever since I can remember I have loved pain I would always find weird ways to hurt myself. I always thought I was weird like I didn't belong anywhere. When I was a kid I never understood why I liked pain so much but I understand now it turns me on. I found out im not the only person like this there are other people like me known as masochists. Masochists often participate in a lifestyle called bdsm. I've found a bdsm club in seattle but you have to be 21 to join luckily for me I have a sister who's 21 and I look alot like her so I'm on my way to her dorm to see if I can get her drivers licence I'll have to take it with out her knowing and return it when I can. She hardly ever goes anywhere so I doubt she'll notice it missing. I jump in my silver audi tt and head over to the college.

When I get to my sisters dorm I see her car is here. I pull up next to it and jump out of my car. Walking into my sisters dorm I see her roommate kate typing away on her laptop.

"Hey Kate is jen in?"

"Oh hey ana yeah she's in her room"

" ok thanks I'm gonna go see her"

I smile at Kate and make my way to my sisters room and walk in. She's sitting on her bed with earphones in reading some book I'm really glad we look so alike the only real difference is her hair is a lighter shade of brown and her blue eyes are darker then my baby blues. I love my big sister she's always been there for me especially when our parents aren't around they're always away on business or whatever. I feel a bit guilty lieing and taking her licence without telling her but I really want to join that club and this is the only way I can. She finally notices me and takes out her earphones.

" hey lil sis what you doing here?"

"What I can't come and see my big sister whenever I feel like?" I tease.

"Of course you can, I am your favourite sister after all"

"Your my only sister" I roll my eyes and smile I miss my sister.

"So I thought we could have dinner together and kate of course. "

" yeah okay we can order some Chinese food "

" okay"

Jen gets up off her bed and we walk back into the kitchen to ask Kate if she wants food.

An hour later we are sitting in the living room eating Chinese and watching crappy tv, kate is talking about her latest Conquest I swear that girl is dating someone new every week. Jen doesn't date often I know she's had a few boyfriend'sbut they never last she's more concerned with her school work to bother with boys.

It's starting to get late and I need to get my sisters licence before I leave her bag is probably in her room.

"Hey jen can I borrow a book? " that's the only thing I can think of she knows im not much of a reader but if I asked to borrow clothes she would definitely know something was up there's no way I would wear he clothes her style is jeans and tshirts wear mine is skirts and sandals.

"Yeah sure" she looks a bit sceptical but I take my opertunity and head to her room as soon as I shut the door. I look around frantically for her bag. I spot it on her desk and grab it rummaging through it I find her wallet I open it and there's her licence I grab it and stick it in the back pocket of my shorts. I grab a book of the shelf check the cover ok romeo & juliet thats believable. I walk back out to jen and kate to tell them I'm leaving.

" it was nice to see you ana I've missed you make sure you come around more often."

"I will jen I miss you too. Bye Kate"

"Bye ana"

I leave quickly and get in my car. I hope jen doesn't drive anywhere soon. I have my meeting with the woman from the club tomorrow so I should be able to return it before then. I drive home to an empty house as usual and jump in the shower im so excited about tomorrow but nervous as well. What if they know I'm lieing I'll get in so much trouble and everyone will know im a freak. No I can't think like that I'll be fine. I put some pyjamas on and lay in bed. I wonder how tomorrow will go it will be nice to be around people like me who understand me, with that I drift into a comfortable sleep dreaming of a world where I'm considered normal.

I wake the next morning at 11 am. I love having a lay in, my appointment isn't till 2 o'clock so I have plenty of time to get ready. I skip down to the kitchen and pop some toast in the toaster and make some coffee. That nervous feeling is back and its making my stomach tighten I decide to skip breakfast and head back up to my room. I walk into my wardrobe to decide on the best outfit for today I want to wear something that makes me look older but at the same time sexy and sophisticated. I find the perfect outfit a clingy black sleeveless shift dress and red louboutins I keep my make up pretty natural . I curl t ends of my hair and pull it all over my shoulder it falls just bellow my boobs.i put some diamond studs in and walk down stairs and out to my car its only 1 o'clock but I still have to find the place. I put the address into my sat nav and pull into traffic. The club is not that far away from my house but you can't tell it's a bdsm club it blends in with the rest of the street I decide to park opposite the red brick building and sit in my car its only half past one and I don't want to be to early. I turn my ipod on a plug it into my car stereo I scroll through the list and pick a song massive attack teardrop comes on I love this song I find it quite soothing and it helps calm my nerves I press repeat and lean back in my seat. I've already paid the club fees so I'm technically already a member but if they find out my real age they'll revoke my membership and I'll never be able to find a dominant to satisfy my needs. I shake my head to get rid of the negative thoughts and check the time its 5 to 2 that will do I get out of my car and walk over to the red brick building the only door is around the side of the building so I walk around to it a tap on the heavy metal door a couple of seconds later the door opens and a huge burly man steps out and looks me up and down " I'm here to see Elena Lincoln " I say trying not to show how nervous I am. He gives me one last once over and opens the door wide for me and ushers me in. I jump when the door shuts behind me, I'm standing in a corridor that's painted at a deep red with gold leaf patterns. The big man walks down the corridor and I follow him. He leads me into another room that has round table randomly placed. The walls are the same deep red and the floor is a dark hardwood. There's men and women walking around with collars around their necks serving all the other members. The big man leads me to the bar and tells me to wait here.

The bartender walks over to me and asks if I want anything I order a club soda and he makes it promptly. I take a sip and look around the room everyone here looks normal. It feels good to be around people like me I feel comfortable here.

"Uhum" someone clears their throat behind me and I turn around to find a stunning platinum blonde dressed head to toe in black leather.

"Hello I'm Elena Lincoln you must be Jennifer steele" she extends her had for me to shake.

" yes I'm Jennifer but please call me jen its nice to meet you mrs Lincoln"

"Hmm. Follow me" she says, I stand and follow her into a room at the back of the bar. It looks like an office.

"Sit down" Elena commands. I do as I'm told and she sits down behind the desk in front of me. I can see she is sizing me up, so I sit and wait for her to decide if she likes what she sees. She seems happy then proceeds to pull out a stack of papers from a draw.

"This is a NDA its a standard contact that means you can't disclose any information about the club or what goes on here" she slides the papers and a pen to me and I sign both copies. I hand one back to her and keep the other in my bag. She then continues to explain the other stack of papers is a contract , the contract of my hard and soft limits and when im available and such. I read through it and decide my only hard limits are suspension and anal fisting. After the contract is signed I give it back to elena and she starts to read it once she's finished she gets a shit eating grin on her face. What's that about?

" Jennifer I may already have a dom who would be brilliant for your needs . I will see if I can set up a meeting with him"

With that she gets up and leaves the room. I can feel my nerves . My palms are sweating and I feel like im going to throw up. What if this dom doesn't like me what if im a terrible submissive.

" lucky for you he's available to see you now. Before you meet him you have to sign another NDA its the same as the other one you just signed except this one means you can't disclose any information about him. He's faxing it over then we can leave."

Oh god this is all moving so fast I don't know if I can do this. Just then the fax machine came to life and printed out a few sheets of paper. Elena grabs them checks them then gives them to me. I don't bother reading it and sign both copies I keep one for myself and hand the other to elena.

"Come" she says and walks to the door. I follow her out of the club into a underground garage. She walks up to a white lexus and open the door for me. I snap my seat belt on as elena gets into the driver's side then we're off.

My mind is racing a mile a minute. What if I fuck this is up or they find out I'm lieing about who I am I will in so much trouble. Before I know it we are parked in another underground garage and elena is getting out of the car. I hop out quickly and follow her to an elevator. This is my last chance to back out if I leave now I know I won't have the guts to do it again. I have to do this. I can do this. I can do this. I repeat in my head like a mantra as the elevator arrives and we step in, elena taps a few numbers and the doors close and we start to rise. I feel sick and I can't help but fidget. The elevator arrives right at the top and the doors open to a huge man. He must be about 6'4 stocky build and buzz cut. He addresses elena as mrs Lincoln and gives me a tight smile. He leads through some double doors into what I can only assume is the main room. The whole place is white and the wall to the right is made completely of glass the view is spectacular. The rest of the room is dull in comparison, white walls and white floors. There's a grand piano in the far left. To the left is what looks like the kitchen again all white except for the chrome appliances. In the middle of the room is a extravagant fire place and facing that is a large black leather sofa. Sitting on that sofa is the most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on. He stands out in the room as he's the most colour full thing in here. He has copper hair that shines from the light and is wearing a blue shirt and dark jeans. When his eyes meet mine I notice they are a light shade of grey and the intense look he's giving me makes my breath hitch, I lower my head quickly and look at the floor.

"Hello elena" the adonis speaks mmm his voice is like warm honey and sends shivers down my spine.

"Sit down" he commands me I do ad he says still with my head down I don't know how this works so I'm just going to do as he says and hope for the best.

"Has she signed the NDA" he asks elena. I watch through my peripherals as she hands him the papers.

"Good. Now we can discuss the contract and your limits" he must be talking to me but before I can say anything elena chimes in.

" I have a copy of her contract. I think you'll find it fits your requirements quite well" she says sounding smug. Jeez why is she so pleased with herself. The adonis (who's name I still don't know ) reads through my contract. He gets shit eating grin on his face but then composes himself to look impassive.

" look at me Jennifer" he says. I look up immediately to meet his smouldering gaze. I swallow hard and try not to look affected but I can feel the blush creep over my cheeks.

"Have you done this before? " he asks

"Yes sir" I reply, I already came up with a story if they asked about previous doms.

" why did the relationship end?"

" because the contract ended and I didn't want to renew it"

"Why not?"

"Because our needs were different"

" what was it that you disagreed on?" Crap I didn't see that one coming better think on my toes. I say the first thing that pops into my head.

"Punishment"

"And what wad the problem with punishment? ?"

" I liked it but he didn't" I shrug. Adonis has a gleam in his eye almost like excitement. He's looking at me intensely and I squirm under his gaze. He smirks at me then stands and leaves the room. A few minutes later he comes back holding some papers.

" This is my contract read it through then sign it"

He hands it to me and sits back down. I start to read the document. (Same contract from the book). It all looks ok except the exercising part. But I'm not one to complain, so I sign both copies and give one back to Christian grey I found out his name from the contract.

" good now seen as though it's Saturday I thought we could start today" he says.

"I'll be leaving then" says elena , I forgot she was here.

I sit and wait while mr grey escorts elena out of the apartment. A few moments later he comes back and im all alone with the beautiful man.