Hello all! Digi-Girl101 here, yet again. This time, it's a new part in my series and a new beta. My other wasn't taking any because of vacation or something (I can't exactly remember off the top of my head) so I thought I'd give freeflow a try. And, she did an amazing job, if I do say so myself!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Thunderbirds. I dream about it, but that's a dream that won't come true.

Summary: John feels very apprehensive about returning to Thunderbird Five. Can Gordon help his big brother? (Part four of five)

Warning: This is movie-verse; if you don't like that type of story, then please kindly press the back button.

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"Thunderbird Five to Tracy Island! Mayday! Mayd-" John yelled, being cut off at the end by an explosion. Flying back across the room, he yelled, fear extremely evident across his face.

'I'm going to die. I'm never going to see my brothers again!' He thought in horror, as he looked around him. There was fire and bits of the space craft everywhere.

'Oh god...' John thought…

John shot up right in his bed. Breathing slowing, as to regulate his breath, he lay back down and turned to his side to check the time.

3:00am, the clock read. Shaking his head, he lay on his back. Putting his hands in his hands, he looked up at the glow-in-the-dark star constellations he had made when they'd got here.

It had always been a summer home when they were younger, a place that no paparazzi knew of, before his mother had died. She didn't like the thought of buying an island to get away to, at first, but when they attacked little Virgil on a field trip one day, she had warmed to it. Besides the house at the ski lodge, this was their holiday home.

'Until she died,' John thought, morbidly. 'Now, even though we still own one of the best ski-lodge houses, we never go. Mom loved to ski...'

It was very true. The late Lucille Tracy had loved skiing; that was one of the reasons Jeff had bought the house at the ski lodge they always went to, even though it was the place she died.

Looking at the glow-in-the-dark Orion's Belt across the ceiling, John sighed. The stars, as much as he loved them, were not what he wanted to see, he wanted to be in outer space. Up the stars was where he always loved to be. Even now, as scared as he was to actually go into space, he missed it, so much. As lonely as it got sometimes, he never got tired of looking at the stars.

His mother had passed on something to each of his brothers before she left this world. For Alan, it was his ability to understand people, even if they don't think he does; for Gordon it was his pranks and love of water; for Virgil it was his love of the arts and Scott? It was his overprotective nature for his siblings and his, if unnoticeable, love of music.

But John got his love of the stars from his mother. Yes, his father loved them too, but some of his first memories were of him and his mother looking up at the stars. His mother giggling as she pointed out stars, one hand pointing to the constellations, the other on her pregnant belly. His father with his other siblings as John and his mother shared a moment.

But yesterday, when Brains announced that Thunderbird Five's repairs were complete, it just seemed more real. More real then anything that had happened before. And it scared him to his core. He was going to go up in space again, for months at a time. He didn't usually mind; in fact, he loved staying up in space for two to three months at a time. Every two weeks there was a supply run, so he didn't get too lonely, and he loved to read and write. His brothers only had a two week rotation; he was the one that suggested that, because he didn't want his brothers being unhappy in space while he felt utterly happy up there. It made sense to him. But currently, he was upset to even set foot on his Thunderbird.

John snapped out of it as he heard his door open. Sitting up, he saw Gordon enter his room. While it had been a few weeks since his melt down, Gordon still worried him. Whilst Scott kept his eye on Virgil, who kept saying that he'd been fine since the episode in the music room three days ago, and Alan, who was passed annoyed and kept begging his father to let him go back to boarding school ("I've only missed three weeks! And I'll be sure to buckle down and keep up my marks now. Please, just get me out of here and away from the mother hen!"). John had been keeping his eye on Gordon.

Gordon smiled slightly as he saw that was John awake. Sitting on the end of the bed, he shook his head at his other brother. John looked at him, confused.

"Gordy?" He asked him slowly. "Why did you come in my room at," John checked his digital clock, "3:30am?"

Smiling lightly, Gordon looked at him with knowing in his eyes before suddenly finding the ground enthralling.

"Because," he told John, "I know what it's like to be afraid of the thing you love the most."

The quietness of the room was slightly eerie. The only sounds were the crickets and the wind. John looked at his little brother in amazement, as Gordon just kept looking down at the carpet.

"I know that you're scared to go back up into space," Gordon said quietly. "Don't worry, no one else does. But I know what it's like. Remember my hydrofoil accident? After that, even after blowing the minds of doctors and making a full recovery, it scared me to death to even think of going on a boat, let alone look at water. But do you know what got me through it?"

Gordon looked up at John, who shook his head and looked down at his hands, tears starting to well up in his eyes. Putting a hand on the blond man's shoulder, he smiled.

"My brothers," he stated proudly. John's head shot up in confusion. "When I was scared, I just held one of your hands, or hugged you. One of you guys was always with me, and I could have never made a full recovery without you. So that's what we need to do with you!"

"Huh?" Giving Gordon a strange look, John was completely lost. 'What the heck does that mean?' he thought.

As if reading his brother's thoughts, he smiled widely, and pulled his older brother close. "I know you love Thunderbird Five, it's your 'bird, duh. But, right now, you're very scared. So, we need to make some plans. You shouldn't be alone up there if you're scared! Out of us all, you have been the most traumatized. And what have we learned from IR? Never leave a traumatized person alone. You need some comfort for all of those secret panic attacks you've been having. Yes, I know. I've had them too. They're not that bad now, but are they getting worse? Yeah, they happen. So, let's get some sleep big brother and tomorrow make a plan with everyone! Sound fun?"

Shaking his head, yet again that night, John chuckled. "Yes, barrels. Now get back to bed before Scott does his rounds…" he trailed off. Like their father, Scott did rounds too. Around 4:15 he would wake up, check on his brothers and sleep another hour before waking up to get ready for the day, providing there was no rescue.

"Yeah, yeah. He'll live. I mean, last time he only freaked for a little while. And when he realized I was just swimming at four in the morning and not half dead…" Gordon chuckled at the memory and walked towards the door. Halfway out the door, John called to him.

"Hey Gordy? Thanks."

Turning around, Gordon shrugged. "What are brothers for?" And with that, made his way to his room.

Laying back down and closing his eyes, John smiled. Being alone was all fine and dandy, but his brothers were most definitely better.

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A/N: Scotty's is up next, and I'm having a bit of trouble. Before I write one of these, I like to think of two things. The setting and the helpful person. Everyone probably knows that Scotty'll blame himself for his little brothers' problems, that's just his character. But I'm having some trouble with the setting and also with the helpful person. If anyone has any ideas for me, they'd be greatly appreciated.