Chapter One
"Get up already!"
Peter jumped up a foot and landed back on his face, still in bed.
Some voice that he thought was Aunt Mays was calling him. But Aunt May was still in New York, how was she here? Literally climbing out of bed, Peter was already wearing his, his, well his costume. He combed on the wall up to the ceiling. The door was slightly open so he crawled out of his apartment bedroom near a stark tower, to his long time home in New York. He was still climbing on the ceiling and saw Aunt May and Uncle Ben eating waffles.
But over by the stove was a mystery person, making the waffles. Turning around, Peter say Deadpool, making his famous fluffy waffles.
Looking up, Deadpool saw the little Spider-Man staring at him.
"Well why don't you come on down, I got chocolate syrup!"
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
Sitting up Peter slammed his fist into his alarm clock, breaking it. For the third time at least.
Quietly groaning to himself, he got up and grabbed his phone. Looking through the notifications, their was a meeting today and everyone was to where their full outfit. Masks, capes and so on.
He shook his head, wondering why SHEILD was so, so, picky. For lack for a better word. Spider-Man dawned his mask, completely forgetting about his dream. He looked at the text again and saw he's 5 minutes late.
Great, his first actual meeting, and he's already late. Slipping the phone in his hidden pocket, the amazing Spider-Man slid open his window and free fell to the lamppost below his apartment. He swung around a little to distract the photographers. Now he understands how people got so annoyed with him.
Swinging up to the tower, where the meetings were held. He landed perfectly on the side of the building, and started to climb up.
Looking into the window, he saw everyone else in there. He knocked a couple of time and Tony opened the glass.
Stepping in, Spider-Man said "You think we could add a handle or something? I hate to knock all the time"
"Kid, you got a new suit, calm down a little bit" Tony never really wore the suit everywhere as it was a little annoying to keep repairing the floor.
Looking around Spider-Man saw the food table and headed strait towards it. Vision is there, standing ridged as usual. Nodding a hello, Spider-Man grabbed a slice of pizza.
Taking a step over to Vision, Spider-Man had a question to ask.
"Hey, you know what this meeting a about?"
Vision continued to watch everyone but did reply to the spider, giving him a glance.
"Yes, I know. SHEILD invited us to mingle and trade phone numbers so we can become better aquatinted."
"Oh" was all Spider-Man could get out.
Vision was somewhat oblivious to the awkward silence but he did know how to end it quickly.
"I suppose we should exchange numbers then"
"Yeah, I guess we should, that is why we're here"
They exchanged numbers and Spider-Man went back for scones on the pizza.
Right when he reached for a pepperoni slice, and about to lift his mask up, a voice behind him made him jump a little.
"So, you new in town, huh?"
Looking over his shoulder, the spider saw the infamous Deadpool.
"Yeah, actually, I, I kinda am"
He didn't know what to say, usually his spider senses told him about people. But they did have a little bit of trouble with certain mutants.
"Aw," Deadpool sighed, "the new guy, standing quietly in a corner, eating all the pizza, I might add"
Reaching for what seemed to be one slice, Deadpool grabbed five, lifted his mask above the top lip and shoved all five in, taking a massive bite.
Spider-Man just stared and couldn't quite process what he just saw. Quickly trying to find a way to end the strange situation, he pulls out the phone that SHEILD provided him with. He went through and saw that Vision gave him his number and name, nothing more. Scrolling through he added in his private phone number and put it under the name "Mom"
Nobody except Tony really knew about his past, and he assumed that if they found his phone and were scrolling through it, they would leave the name mom alone. But, who really knew.
Out of no where, a red gloved hand grabbed the phone and laughed.
Spider-Man had sensed Deadpool was going to do something, but he assumed it had been something else. Looking up, getting ready to grab the phone, Deadpool put a hand on Spideys head, and held him there, so he couldn't get the phone back.
"Hey! What-"
"Shh, you're going to cause a sene. What's your number Spidey? I wanna send you a shit ton of emojis all night"
"Ugh." What could he say? He was there to get numbers.
He told Deadpool the number, saw him put it in his phone, then his own number into Spideys phone, then hold it out to Spidey.
When Spider-Man went to grab it, Deadpool hung on.
"Now Spidey, I don't expect a goodnight text, but that'd be nice, just at least one convo a week, ok snucums?"
"Whatever, can I have my phone back?"
"Yeah here." Deadpool then threw the phone into Thors pizza.
Thor looked up and shot a warning look to Deadpool, to which replied by putting both hands on his face in faux utter shock.
Thor grabbed the phone, and tossed it to Spider-Man. Spider-Man turned to scold Deadpool, and saw him hanging from a ceiling light.
Shaking his head, Spider-Man used a web to joins Deadpool on the ceiling. Spider-Man hung upside down, and shoot another web into some pepperoni pizza and yanked it up to himself. Deadpool continued to eat.
A hour later, and with a few more numbers, Spider-Man was ready to leave.
When he opened a window, Deadpool was right there.
"Hey Sugar-Plum, ya think you could let me try?"
Spider-Man sighed, but wanted to see where he was going with this.
"Try what?" He asked, making absolutely clear on what Deadpool wanted to do.
"Well what else? Give me a strand"
"K hold on, which way do you want to go?"
"How 'bout Main Street?"
Climbing out of the window and onto the side of Stark tower, Spider-Man shot a web onto the helicopter pad a few stories up, and pulled about 10 ft of the strand out of his wrist.
Before handing the strand to Deadpool, Spider-Man had to know a few things.
"Ok, Deadpool, you hold onto the strand and let loose when you want to go lower but you can't go back up and it won't let go of the helicopter pad, ok?"
"Sure, I got it"
"And one more thing," Spider-Man was alarmed that Deadpool was already about to jump, "try not to hit something, it helps to have all your bones intact"
"Ok mom, I won't stay out to late"
"Whatever, you land b-"
Spider-Man never got to finish as Deadpool jumped and swung to the left, away from Main Street.
Watching him, Deadpool was a natural.
Until he didn't swing low enough to land on the ground.
Then swung backwards.
Into the street.
A bus slammed into him.
He didn't let go of the strand.
The bus slowed down and he fell off the windshield.
Listening, not all to closely, Spider-Man heard a distance fuck come from Deadpool.
Deadpool turned around, and hobbled down the street, a leg and arm broken.
Quickly turning around to look up to the Spider on the building.
"Love you Spidey-Bear!"
"Whatever!"
Blowing a kiss up the the Spider, Deadpool continued on his way.
Spider-Man had enough for the day, and swung back to his apartment to sleep in some more.