Disclaimer- I own nothing
It's an impossible fantasy and Tony DiNozzo knows it, but that doesn't stop it from popping up in his mind.
He doesn't remember when it first came to be. He thinks maybe years ago. When they first met, when they had their undercover mission, when he found out she was 'pregnant'.
He imagines himself as a father. Her as a mother.
The dream evolves when Gibbs leaves and his world falls apart. When he shows up at her apartment and she lets him in. When she's his rock as he tries to fight the waves and pull himself ashore. She believes in him.
He imagines they live together. Go home after work, talk about their days (even if it's the same), and have no secrets.
When McGee puts them into the computer, to see what their kids would look like, it gets worse.
He imagines they have a house, in a suburb, and kids run around their feet in the kitchen while they laugh and laugh.
For a while the daydream doesn't bother him, Jeanne takes up his mind. But even that doesn't last.
He imagines her in a white dress, whispering in his ear how he's finally got his real woman.
It happens so fast, he doesn't even realize what he's doing until he's on the ground and Rivkin's holding out that shard of glass and instinct takes over. Next thing he knows, he's in D.C., she's in Israel, and she hates him.
He imagines the look of reluctant acceptance, the barely-there tolerance, the eventual relationship that develops between him and her father.
After a month without her, it all comes together. He sees a life together with her, a future he knows can never happen, but one he desperately wishes for anyway. By the end of the summer, it's all that keeps him going. He can't focus on the world around him, just goes through the motions, living in his head.
It's a nice world there. The perfect-ness of it all reminds him of The Truman Show. He goes to work and she takes care of their three kids (he likes that number), making sure they get off to school before joining him. They solve case after case, the perfect team.
They kiss each other on the cheek all the time. They do the little things couples do for each other. Their family lives in perfect harmony.
Tony knows it's not real. It's just easier than facing the truth. It's easier to dream, then remember the look on her face the last time he saw her. He fights for his fantasy, ignoring the whispers in the back of his head. She's gone, she hates you, she's dead.
But resistance is futile and one day he can't picture the quaint house, the tan-skinned children with hazel eyes, and when Gibbs orders him to grab his gear, Tony's had enough.
"No."
His fantasy might never be reality. But revenge will take its place to help him sleep at night.
A/N- My first NCIS fic. That's exciting
Review please?