You were looking for a box but instead of it you found something else, something important, something that pained your heart even if you tried to ignore the fact.

Now you're sitting on your bed with a long forgotten photo album in your hands, or you'd like to pretend it's forgotten because it had been in the back of your mind for 10 years now. Since she has left.

You are holding the album for quite some time now, not daring to open it. You are afraid what you might see. Even if you very well know what's in it. The truth is you're afraid of seeing her eyes. Those eyes which you remember clearly after all these years. You are afraid of them because they are the only things which you clearly remember from that day. Her eyes. Glistening with tears as they bored into yours. The last day you saw her.

When she told you that she was moving away with her soon-to-be husband. You didn't believe her, thinking it's just a joke because she would never leave her hospital. But she had been serious and you realized it's too late to do anything about it. To talk her out of it or get rid of her boy-toy. But you still tried to manipulate her but it didn't work. She was too angry with you. You still remember the fire in her eyes when you told her she shouldn't marry him because Rob or Bob or George or what's-his-name is a momma's boy and he would never make her happy. That she needs a man who stands up to her, who dare to fight with her. She said that you described a man you think she needs. She said that the truth is you want her for yourself that the man you had described is you and you are just too much a coward to admit it. And she was right: you were such a coward. You just shrugged it off and told her to go then marry him if that's what she wants. She laughed at you then. You remember that laugh. It was bitter laced with pain. And you knew why. She didn't want to marry him, she wanted you but you remained behind your walls which you've been building since you 've met her. Because you had known then, 33 years ago that she would bring you happiness but some day would also break your heart. And you were right. But you've never thought about the fact that she did what she did because you pushed her away, hurt her and break her heart. So you did what you are the best. Hurt her. And it was the final push she needed. She walked over to you and said "You were right". You just looked at her, blinking, not knowing what she meant . You just looked into her eyes, those piercing blue eyes which glared at you so many times. Blue eyes in which you saw fire, rage, anger, pain, and so many sadness. And they were glistening with tears which she didn't let fall because you know that she had made a promise to herself a long time ago to never cry in front of you again. That time you were grateful for that promise because you are sure that you would have kissed away her tears.

So you just stand there praying to any God that she won't walk out of your life. But you didn't become an ateist for nothing. She broke eye contact and whispered something you 've never wanted to hear from her. She said good-bye. She walked away from you and then you saw as a teardrop escape, rolling down her cheek. But you couldn't brush it away, she was far too gone for you. So you did the only thing you could, you whispered good-bye too.

And now after 10 years you're looking at a photo of a young girl in low cut top with dark curly hair and piercing blue eyes which at that time twinkled with happiness. Now you know what she meant that day, she really wanted you. You close your eyes to stop yourself from crying. A shaky breath escapes your lips which very much sounds like 'Oh Lisa'