Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride.
A/N: Warning - crazy randomness.
Iggy: Ha ha ha! Rocket launcher! I pwn you all!
Gazzy: Me too!
Max: Put that thing down!
Fang: Cool, a rocket launcher!
Nudge: Guys, that thing is really, really dangerous. What if it went off and hit one of us, or backfired, or turned into a giant ice cream cone, or we were attacked by penguins...
Angel: PENGUINS! THEY'LL KILL US ALL!
Total: See, Nudge was actually right. Killer penguins with bazookas and machine guns.
Iggy: Cool. Let's steal a bazooka.
Fang: Yeah!
Max: Since when were you so un-Fang?! And get rid of the rocket launcher already!
(Angel grabs rocket launcher and shoots at penguins)
Angel: Ha ha ha! Die!!! I pwn you all, stupid penguins! Fear the wrath of my all-powerful rocket launcher!
Gazzy: What's up with Angel?
Nudge: How the heck should I know? Shut up and leave me alone. No wait, come back, I need someone to talk to. Wait, why are you hanging around? LEAVE ME ALONE, ALREADY!!!
(Gazzy hides in emo corner)
Iggy: Angel! Give me back my rocket launcher, or I'll hit you over the head with this giant metal orange sculpture!
Angel: WHAT THE –
(is hit over the head with giant metal sculpture of an orange)
Max: Where the heck is the rocket launcher?!
Fang: Augh!!! The killer penguins have it! And they're kidnapping me to take me to Fluffy Happy Smiley Face Bunny Land! NOOOOO!!!!!
Iggy: Ha!
Max: Fang!!! YOU STUPID PENGUINS, GIVE ME BACK MY BOYFRIEND!
(Gazzy runs back from emo corner, now has tank)
Gazzy: HA! DIE, YOU STUPID THINGS!
(Angel smacks him upside the head, knocking him out)
Angel: Get out of the tank, you idiot! I want to drive!
Nudge: NO, YOU MORON, IT'S MY TURN!
(start slap/scratch fight)
Fang: HELP! IT'S TOO HAPPY!!!!
Max: I'm coming Fang!
(whips out giant ice cream cone)
Max: FEAR THE WRATH OF MY ICE CREAM CONE, YOU MISERABLE CRETINS!
Iggy: How's that stupid ice cream cone going to help?
Gazzy: What, are you stupid? Killer penguins are lactose intolerant, everyone knows that!
Nudge: No they're not, they're allergic to milk and stuff!
(Angel punches Nudge)
Angel: You doofus! That's what lactose intolerant means!!!
Fang: WILL YOU JUST SAVE ME ALREADY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD?!!
Iggy: Yeah, whatever. Stop complaining. Where's the tank? Oh there it is.
(drives tank after killer penguins and starts blowing them up)
Gazzy: Wait, you're blind!
Iggy: I am? AUGHHH!!!
(drives tank into tree and blows up)
Nudge: WAAHHH! Now something bad happened to my boyfriend!!!
Iggy: What'd you say?
Gazzy: Hey, you're alive!
Iggy: Yeah, I hired a stunt double for five bucks. Ooh, I think he's running around on fire. And what do you mean, "my boyfriend," Nudge?
Nudge: Uhhh... Look! Max is kicking penguin butt! And, ooh, pretty bunny-shaped clouds!
Angel: HEY! IT'S MY JOB TO KICK THE STUPID PENGUINS' BUTTS! AND WHY CAN'T I BE LEADER?!
Total: Shut up.
Angel: MAKE ME, DOG!
Iggy: Sheesh, Angel, what is up with you?
(Nudge gasps)
Nudge: She's not Angel, she's an imposter! She's Lissa, and she's ticked off that Fang is Max's boyfriend!
Lissa: THAT'S RIGHT, FREAKS! OUT OF MY WAY! Fang, I'm coming to save you from that stupid idiot M-
(is hit over head with giant ice cream cone)
Angel: Sheesh. Twit.
Max: I'm back! I saved Fang!
(Fang is staring straight ahead in terror)
Fang: Bunnies... everywhere... too... fluffy...
(faints)
Max: I think he'll do that for a few days. Oh well. Cotton candy, anyone?
Gazzy: HA HA HA! THE ROCKET LAUNCHER IS MINE!
(is hit over head with baseball bat)
Angel: Sheesh, get over yourself already.