Sensei!
Bang.
"It's obvious. You're in love with me, aren't you Eiri-kun?"
Bang.
That smile, he was always smiling...
Bang.
The stench of blood was still fresh in his nose. He kept hearing the sound of the bullet over and over. He heard the blood splatter on the wood and on his clothing. But most of all, he could still taste the air. He did not think he would ever get the taste out of his mouth. It was not blood. However horrible the flavor of blood was, this was very different. It was very distinct. Betrayal was there, greed, lust and love. Before now, he had never even considered that these things would have a taste. It was cold too. So cold...He kept blowing warm air into his hands, but it did nothing.
"Sensei..." He whispered. That word itself was cold. It must be because he could not cry. The simple word "sensei" somehow made his tears freeze in his eyes. Either that, or there were no more tears left to cry. Oh, he wanted them though. Tears were a sacred outlet. When nothing else can come, they do. Tears helped to erase some of the pain. If there were no tears, he would have exploded by now, he was sure. Instead, his body seemed to be used up. Especially now that he had used all of his sacred out let. All the pain was being bottled up inside him with no release.
He hated it. He wanted to run, scream until his voice was gone. Anything but sit here and feel his heart burn. Anything at all. Even death. Yes, death would be much better than this. Better than sitting here feeling trapped. In death he could end his pain and follow Sensei. He could follow Kitazawa; be with him. He could repent...a life for a life, it was fair. Blindly, he reached for a pair of silver scissors on a nearby desk and raised his peace over his chest. This shining blades cut through the air. He waited for the cool tip to penetrate his heart...
"Eiri-san!" A hand grabbed his, trying to pry the scissors out of his grasp.
"No Tohma!" Eiri cried, holding on with all his might. "I want to be with Yuki, I want to be with Yuki!" But the hand twisted the scissors around; along with his fingers, forcing him to let go.
"Eiri-san, please don't do something like that in front of me." said Tohma, panting slightly from the struggle.
"But...I want to see Yuki..." said Eiri weakly. Tohma didn't say anything, but hugged him firmly.
"You never liked him Tohma, but he didn't need to die, he didn't deserve that! I'm sorry, I drove him to it, then killed him. It's my fault, all my fault..." His eyes burned, but still no tears came. He wanted them...
"Why can't I see Yuki-sensei?" Tohma lifted Eiri's chin with his forefinger.
"Listen to me Eiri-san. It was Kitazawa's choice to do what he did, you didn't make him do anything. You are the victim here, not Kitazawa. You did nothing to deserve this Eiri-san." Eiri buried his head in Tohma's shirt.
"I must have...I-I loved him Tohma..." Tohma ran his fingers through Eiri's hair.
"Go to sleep Eiri-san."
"I don't want to sleep Tohma. I want to see Kitazawa-sensei, I want to tell him..." Even as he spoke, a sudden drowsiness hit him and he slipped from the waking world.
"Kitazawa-sensei?"
"What is it Eiri?" Kitazawa answered lazily.
"Could I live with you?" Kitazawa woke up from his daze.
"What, you're not happy with Seguchi?"
"No, that's not it. Seguchi's fine, he's like a brother to me. I just...wanna live with you..." Kitazawa Yuki laughed brightly.
"You're a riot Eiri! You must be serious about your schoolwork if you want to move in with your tutor." Eiri blushed.
"No, schoolwork has nothing to do with it...you're, I mean..."
"Hm? Oh, I'm just so fun to be around, is that it?" Eiri stared at the ground.
"Not exactly..." Yuki lifted his chin up. Eiri could have fainted out of embarrassment now that those eyes were on him.
"I get it." said Yuki, in that damned smooth voice of his, "It's obvious. You're in love with me, aren't you Eiri-kun? You're so flustered, I can see right through you."
"No! Sensei, I just like you, you're my teacher, my friend, not 'love'! Well, 'love' like friends love each other, but not 'love love'!"
"Chill out Eiri-kun, you don't have to hide. I can't say I'm into younger guys, but if it'll make you happy you can move in."
"Sensei, I told you–" Kitazawa planted a quick kiss on Eiri's forehead.
"Eiri, shut up and study or I'll fail you."
It was Tohma's voice that woke him.
"That's right. As far as the public is concerned, Kitazawa Yuki and the other one were drunk and killed each other. Uesugi Eiri was never there."
"Is this boy really so important to you that you have to buy out a reporter to fake the story?" another man answered.
"Eiri-san will not be touched." said Tohma coldly, avoiding the question.
"NO! Tohma, what are you doing?" Eiri burst into the room.
"Eiri, you're awake. This is Millar Stone, he's a reporter."
"No Tohma! We have to tell them; I have to let them know! You can't just write Sensei off like that!"
"Eiri–" started Tohma.
"I don't want to hear it! You said it yourself! It's not my fault, they'll understand!"
"I know it's not your fault Eiri. But with your DNA on the gun and two bodies on one hand and only your testimony on the other..."
"What about his family Tohma? Can we tell them?"
"No Eiri, you and I will be the only people who know the truth." His head was spinning.
"No Tohma..." his head felt warm. He collapsed onto his knees. Tohma jumped out of his chair.
"Get out!" he yelled to the reporter, who wasted no time obeying. Tohma put his hand to Eiri's forehead.
"You're burning up! You need to get back in bed Eiri-san." There was a sudden pressure on the left side of his chest.
"I-I can't breathe...It hurts to breath Tohma...It hurts Tohma, it hurts so much...how could I kill the person I loved the most?"
"Eiri-san..." Tohma's face was dotting out of view.
"Let me tell someone...let me...me..." He could not see anymore, he felt like he was floating.
Eiri woke in late afternoon the next day. The sun was shining through the windows, he could hear the distant sound of laughter, and even birds. Last night seemed unreal. He wished it had been, but the pain pounding in his chest told him otherwise. He dressed reluctantly and went into the kitchen, even though he wasn't hungry. Tohma left a not saying he'd be back at 4:30. He glanced at the clock. 4:20. Ding-dong. He thought about not getting the door. Ding-dong. Then again, it could be something important to Tohma. Sighing, he opened the door.
A camera flashed in his face. There were people with video cameras and notebooks crowding around the door. Eiri jumped back and tried to slam the door, but a raven haired woman in a black trench coat and a hat hiding her eyes stopped it. She flipped out a badge.
"Are you Uesugi Eiri?" she asked.
"Y-yes..." answered Eiri shakily. She turned her golden eyes on him. He froze. Those eyes felt like they saw right through him.
"Uesugi Eiri," she said, flipping cuffs on him, "You're under arrest for the rape and murder of Yuki Kitazawa, and the murder of Jason Perch. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney..."