Changing Roles

by DesNak

When Zim's machine backfires, He and Dib get their bodies switched, and so do Des and Gir! But there's an unexpected element that makes it worse for them and funnier for us! You won't find out unless you read! Please R/R!

Hi-hi ! Prepare yourself for a really funny fic! This was spawned from an RP! So I'd like to give credit to my fellow RP-er for an awesome job with the parts Zim, Gaz, and Gir. Thankyuu Invader Nak! Also credit to Jhonen, for making the show! Because without the show, well, this fanfic wouldn't exist! And I sure as hell didn't make it! ^_~ The part of Dib was played by yours truly, as was Des, obviously, because Des is ME! ^_^ And yes, I know you're wondering "Who the hell is Des?" Well, in these RP's and fanfics we do, Des is Dib's partner. Now I'll shut up, because you wanted to read a fanfic!

Down in his underground lair, the alien was busy as work, his small pointed tongue hanging out of his mouth, and sparks flying everywhere. Blinking his crimson eyes, Zim stepped back to gaze at his machine, and the wonder it held inside.

Slowly he began circling his masterpiece, checking to see that every screw and bolt was in place, and that there was no way for this to go wrong. with this new cloning device, he would have an army of...himself, and no would be able to stop him on his conquest! Not even.. Dib! He began chuckling to himself at the thought, and that chuckling soon turned into all out maniacal laughter which rang throughout the entire house*

Atop her usual roost on her neighbor's roof, Des surveyed the scene in Zim's house using her handy infra-red contact lens, her short blonde hair flowing in the breeze. She could just about make out Zim, and a machine. She whipped out her analyzing computer and targeted it. An unfinished cloning machine?! She knew she and Dib would have to make sure it REMAINED unfinished. She reached for a walkie-talkie in her back jeans pocket.**

Weeeehooooo!!

Running around the house like a crazed moron was a small little android, arms flung up into the air. He spun in a circle near the fridge, before doing the same by the table, and then crashing into the small waste bin, slipping down the long tube. landing on the cold linoleum below, he finally looked to spot a big..shiny..machine thing.

Oooooo...buttons!

Quickly he hopped upward and over to the machine, making his way directly to the biggest button he could find. mesmerized by its luminance, he slowly brought his hand upward to press it.

Zim had been in another part of the lab to gather some tools he would need to finish his creation, when suddenly he heard his robot partner falling down the tube into the lab. he shrieked, looking up just in time to see Gir about to press a definite 'do not press!' button. leaping in front of him, he pushed the bundle of scrap metal aside.

Gir! Listen to me. Do NOT press that button! If you do, the fate of our entire mission may be in jeopardy! Do you understand?

Gir looked up at Zim as he spoke, not paying the least bit attention. but as soon as Zim asked him a question, he nodded his head.

Nooooo..

Squealing with delight, he began to run circles around Zim.

Dib had hurried over as fast as he could. Meeting Des, they prepared to break into Zim's house. He grabbed up a brick...when he noticed the open door. It seems that little..dog..robot...thing...had made it easy for them. The two walked in, and immediately headed for the trash can.

Des slid down the pipe into Zim's lab, followed by her partner. Des held a handgun, and Dib held...some unknown nifty gizmos. Not wanting to waste time, she hadn't bothered to ask what they were.

One alien is one too many! We won't allow you to finish this machine, ZIM!

Des pointed her handgun at what looked like the main panel. Zim quickly swerved around at hearing Des's voice, and instantly narrowed his eyes.

Earthworms?! In my secret lair?! How..

He raked his fingers into what looked like claws, gritting his zipper-like teeth. suddenly, he leaped in front of the machine, realizing that's probably what they were after.

I, along with my new armies of..meee..will rule this puny planet!

During all this, he did not notice Gir having made himself comfortable staring up at a button on the machine….

Des lowered her gun so that it was pointing at Zim. Then she decided not to waste her bullets. Those were for the machine... Des rushed Zim!

Dib readied his "ultra laser pointer", which was really more like a lightsaber. He prepared to rush Zim too.

Zim's eyes widened upon seeing the female suddenly rush toward him. What kind of primitive move was that?! Quickly he leaped out of the way, kicking her over in the process. rolling to his side, he leapt to his feet, not yet noticing Dib's laser.

Dib quickly saw this opportunity to stab his laser into that stupid alien's back.

Des got up and was about to attack Zim again, when out of the corner of her eye she saw Gir preparing to push a large button. She gasped and ran at him, fearful that it would cause some awful mishap.

By now Zim had spotted Dib's laser, and shrieked, throwing out his arm in instinct, causing it to fly across the room. He grinned mischievously before attacking the human, causing the two to get into a brawl with each other.

Gir was nearly oblivious to the fights going on behind him, mystified by the big button. Suddenly he giggled, reaching up his arm.

Buttoooon!!

Without a moment's hesitation, he slammed his metallic hand onto the button, pressing it in.

Zim, at hearing Gir's sudden cry, stopped; holding Dib's arm, who in return had a grip around his neck, with both their bodies nearly entangled with one another.

Nooooooo!

Suddenly a bright white light engulfed the room……

After the white light was cleared, Des looked around the room. She felt a little wierd, but no matter. She rushed at Zim again.

Dib winced. Suddenly he had a sharp pain in his back, and an arm was around his neck...wait, wasn't HE the one who had ZIM?! He looked at himself. To his horror, he was wearing Zim's clothes...his hands were small and gloved, and...OOF! He found himself headbutted by the little robot.

Des stood back up. Suddenly out of the corner of her eye, she saw her own body. Had SHE, Des, been cloned? It wasn't until then that she noticed her small, metal hands...

Zim tried to pull his neck from Dib's grasp when suddenly he realized, no, he was the one holding..his own neck?! his eyes shot open and he flew back, feeling his trenchcoat fly with him. wait a minute, trenchcoat?! freaked out of his mind, he looked his body over, his fright heightening with every new glance. shakily, he lifted his hand to his head, preparing for the worst. it hit him when he felt a spike of hair on his head.
he let out a cry of horror, in Dib's voice. it couldn't be! no! he had become..his arch enemy! suddenly he began feeling woozy, as if he were about to pass out. he--he couldn't breathe! he began writhing in agony on the floor. wait, wait, yes, he had lungs now! soon precious air came back to him, reviving him--physically anyway.

Doom-de-doomy-doom-doom..dooom..doooom?

Gir stopped singing his past time song as he realized his newfound height, and looked himself over. it didn't take him long to realize….

Wheee! I'm a huuuuuman!

Quickly he began running around the lab insanely, shouting with glee.

I'm a human! I'm a human! I'm a human!

Suddenly he crashed into the side of the lab, falling onto his back, and lifted himself up woozily.

Des's large eyes got larger, and she sat down in shock. Holy crap. She was a robot...she was Gir! And she could see by the frantic action from her own body, that this wasn't gonna be good.

Dib could not help staring at his new body. He had become Zim, his nemesis! His now crimson eyes widened. Thankfully, he had removed his hand from his neck....his hand? Whose hand? Who was in his body?! "Please, PLEASE let it be Des in there..."

Zim finally stands to his feet, just in time to see Des...crash into the wall? he stared wide-eyed in shock at this. he then looked to..himself on the floor, and pointed, ranting in his normal fashion*

You! Or..me..or....

Zim squinted one eye, trying to unconfuse himself.

Puny human..or Irken.....you! You have destroyed my cloning device! You will feel the wrath of my doooom...

He looked up to the machine, which was smoking in one corner, sparks flying.

Dib's eyes widened. NO! The worst thing that could have happened, did. ZIM WAS IN HIS BODY! He glanced up at the machine, definitely ruined. Then he turned to ... well, himself, shocked and, for once, speechless.

Des cringed as her body flew into the wall and thought.

Hooboy. I'm going to have to keep an eye on him.. Oh my god. He can't go to my house. My parents! What'm I gonna do!! Wait, stay calm. You're the levelheaded one....

Des looked up at the destroyed machine.

But I have a feeling I might be in this body longer than I want to be.

Angrily, Zim ran over and lifted Dib's laser sword from the ground, preparing to swing it at his rival. but then he stopped, realizing that if he were to hit him, he'd only be destroying his own body. he threw the sword back down in frustration, and hissed in the way he would in his old body, but it sounded preetty strange coming from Dib's mouth.
All the while in the background, Gir sat..hugging himself in delight.

Des watched Gir enjoy himself in her body. She usually had a fondness for Gir. But NOT when he was her, that was freaky...Des smacked her forehead in exasperation. Then she paused. Hmm, that was kind of fun, wasn't it? She smacked herself again....Ooh! funfunfun....WAIT! Gir's body?! What the hell is this? Was her new body making her want to smack herself repeatedly? She regained control, her eyes practically bugging. This was something she hadn't expected...

Dib stood up. He wanted to finish his enemy up, but he couldn't...that would mean destroying himself. He sat back down in frustration.

Zim spoke up.

Okay, because Gir..

he instantly pointed over to Des's body. it was sickeningly obvious whose body Gir had been transferred to

…..pushed a button on my machine, I will have to stay here overnight to get it fixed, so I don't have to spend on more night as a filthy...huuuman.

He cringed at the thought.

Dib grew hot and semi-angered, as he usually did, by the "filthy huuuman quote." He dreaded the thought, but he knew that Zim couldn't stay in this house all night.

Oh yeah?! Well, you're not going to be able to stay here all night....you're going to have to go to my house at some time!

He grinned. At least now he wouldn't have to put up with Gaz tonight!

Zim's eyes popped open when Dib pointed out the obvious. Yesss ...he would have to spend the night at his rivals'…house, wouldn't he? he knew if he didn't, the humans might become suspicious.

Fiine, Dib. I will spend the night at your...house.

but, what about Dib? he could never trust him to spend even five minutes alone here. he'd have to trust Gir to keeping Dib away from the lab all night.

Gir!

Gir, at hearing his master's voice, he quickly bounded over to Zim, who was actually just Dib in Zim's body.

No, Gir. Over here. He frowned at seeing Gir's confusion. this would be a looong night.

But, my master's right here… after saying that, Gir lifted Dib up from the ground and held him, before suddenly loosing grip and dropping him again to the ground

Zim sighed, but continued on. Gir, he is an imposter! he pointed to Dib. Do not let him into the lab while I'm gone, understand? His eyes again widened to notice Gir had not been listening. instead, he had gone to begun pulling the shirt off his new body. quickly he grabbed Gir/Des's arms and pulled them away before he could pull the attire off.

 

DON'T do that, Gir.

But wait. What about me? My parents would get suspicious too...But, Gir can't be in two places... Des commented, her eyes showing concern.

Zim only halfheartedly listened to Des. Her problem, was not his problem. Right now, he only had to worry about Dib getting into his things.

Des sighed, realizing that he wasn't really listening. Her parents were never home anyway. She was just trying to make it open for Dib to ravage his lab. Damn....

Well....nevermind.

then something hit her. Where would SHE stay? She pondered over this.

Zim was very nervous about leaving Dib alone in his house for a full night. who knows WHAT kind of damage he could do in that time. he only hoped Gir would do his duty in protecting the Lab.

Dib grinned at the thought of him destroying Zim's lab. But sighed as he realized he couldn't, because some of the things might be needed to fix the machine. Dib told his rival this, in the coldest tone he could muster.

As for you..*Zim looked over to Des* You're coming with me.. quickly he flung the dog suit onto her and lifted her by the ears. He couldn't risk having her going over to destroy the lab, either.

Des shrieked as Zim/Dib lifted her by her little puppy ears.

HEY! What do you think you're doing?! Put me down!

Zim grinned at seeing her struggle, suddenly having a strong urge to dismantle the small robot and see what kind of alien technology kept it running. but he quickly shook it off.

Quiet, human.

He was sure to push both Dib and Gir out of the lab, then exited himself.

Well, Dib, enjoy your short time as meeee. I can assure you you'll come to realize why I am worthy as ruler of humans.

With that he left, Des stuffed into one of the pockets of Dib's trenchcoat he had found to be abnormally large.

slowly he walked to his rival's home, planning to head right into his bedroom so as to avoid that human Dib called his 'sister'. quietly stepping inside, he hugged the wall, checking to see that the coast was clear. it seemed void of life, and so he sighed, walking down the hallway he presumed led to Dib's room.

Dib!

Zim shrieked and spun around to see Gaz staring at him with vile hatred. did she know what had happened?! no, she had called him Dib. she knew nothing about the earlier event.

Quickly she stomped up to her brother who had just entered, preparing to grant his death wish.

Where are the batteries to my GameSlave?! I KNOW you took them!

at the last sentence, she violently jabbed her finger into his chest.

Back awaaay filthy human stinkbeast! You are none so worthy to be in the presence of Ziiim..

Cut out that stupid Zim nonsense and just give me back my batteries..NOW...

Suddenly she dumped her glass of water over his head, trying to get him to listen.

Zim recoiled as soon as the water hit his flesh, preparing for searing pain. But his eyes popped back open when it didn't come. water, yet no pain? so there was at least one advantage to being in a human body. he prepared to rant at Gaz again, but then remembered he was supposed to be Dib, not Zim.

I..don't..know..where..your..batteries..are...uhh...siiister. I have some..important..Zim-killing..duties to....do?

He grinned, pleased at his portrayal of Dib, unaware of his complete lack of acting skills.

Gaz stared at Dib, slowly opening one eye wide.

What are you ON?

Zim blinked.

On? Uhhh... the...floor?

He looked at her confusedly, what she had meant flying right over his head.

Gaz again just stared at Dib like he was a complete moron, which he was. Whatever..*suddenly she grabbed his shirt collar

 

You better pay me back for those batteries by tomorrow or feel pain seethe through your entire body...

with that, she slammed him against the wall and stormed off.

Zim gritted his teeth after being slammed into the wall, and watched Gaz walk away. Somehow, he'd liked that experience. maybe it was just the adrenaline of being around someone as utterly deadly as he. he shrugged, before walking into what was obviously Dib's room, what with alien magazines strewn everywhere.

As soon as they got into Dib's room, Des wiggled and hopped out of the big pocket, looking at him with as close to a death glare as she could get in Gir's body. Then she sat down in a corner and sulked, while suspiciously keeping an eye on the alien in Dib's clothing.

Zim caught Des's glare, and glared back

You will be one of the first to go when I rule your planet, along with your filthy 'partner', Diiib..

Pah. You'll never rule, ZIM. Once we get our bodies back, we'll kill you...

Des said angrily, grabbing one of the UFO 'zines off the floor.

Hah! You will never defeat Ziiim..

Des didn't look up. She was getting used to this crap.

Angrily Zim sat on the floor next to the bed, completely missing the point that humans were supposed to sleep ON the bed.
Whatever...

Des said, still not looking up. But when she finally did, she blinked at him sitting on the floor..

What, sleeping on the floor, ZIM?

Of course..

He raised his nonexistent eyebrows and looked defiant.

Your puny earthanoid rituals will not fool me.

With that, he lay on his back, believing in every right mind he was doing things the way they were supposed to be done*

Des smirked.

Fine. Then I'll take the bed.

She hopped into the bed (literally. God, she hated being short. She used to be taller than both Zim and Dib.) **

Zim rolled his newfound 'human' eyes at Des, having learned that to be a sign of anger. suddenly, downstairs he heard the ringing of a phone.

Diiib!

Gaz climbed up the stairs to his room, flying open his door, of course without bothering to knock.

Dib. Phone.

She chucked the device at him, hitting him squarily in the head, and began walking away, before quickly turning back.

And you still owe me those batteries..

Zim rubbed his head in pain as the phone hit him and lifted it to his ear.

 

Heelloo..?

Des's mom talked on the other line, her voice filled with worry and concern.

Dib? Des hasn't come back home..have you seen her? I'm a little worried..

Uhhh..

His eyes widened. what was he supposed to say?! This isn't Dib. It's actually an alien in Dib's body, and Des is right now in a robot's body sitting on my bed?

Sheee's..probably..with a...friend?

 

He grimaced.

She'd always tell us if she were going to be gone. Are you sure you don't know where she is?

I'm sorry I don't know bye.

Quickly he shut off the phone, not risking talking any longer. Des sat up on the bed.

Who was it?

THAT was none of your business, stinkbeast.

He paused for a moment, remembering back to the quick conversation on the telephone.

But if I MUST tell you, that was the female counterpart of your parental units..

Des's eyes widened.

They were HOME tonight?!

She smacked her forehead, ignoring the urge to do it again.

I told you!

Well, that isn't a concern of MINE, is it?

Des sighed, and then picked up the UFO zine again. She shuddered at the thought of what Gir was doing in her body. And as for spending the night with ZIM? This was gonna be a loooooong night.

GIR! Put down that spork!

Dib yelled in frustration. Gir bounced around the house, a small plastic spork gripped firmly in his hand. suddenly he tripped, sending himself sprawling onto the ground. he pulled himself up and looked at his elbow, which he had scraped in the fall, and his eyes became watery with tears. in his robot form, he didn't get cuts and scrapes. this was something new. he began bawling in pain, but soon calmed himself down.

suddenly, he stuck the spork in his mouth and chomped down, finding the taste of plastic to be quite..amusing*

Dib grabbed the spork from Gir's hand, pulling it out of his mouth.

Listen, settle down! This isn't your body, you know!

Gir looked up to who he still believed was his master as his spork was grabbed away.

My food..

He blinked, before quickly wrapping dib around the legs in a death hug, toppling him to the ground.

I like you..

Dib crashed to the floor, being hugged tightly by the taller, Gir-entity of Des.

Ahhh!

Grinning goofily, Gir stuck his toungue out of his mouth. but suddenly as he sat there holding onto Zim/Dib's legs, he got the urge to go up on the roof and gaze at the stars. silently he lifted himself from the floor and stepped outside into the lawn.

He pushed his arms up into the air and expected his jet rockets to take him upwards. when it didn't happen, he tried again..and again...and again...not seeming to get he didn't have any jet rockets.

Dib walked outside after Gir. He knew Des would be...er...well, let's just say really really mad....if anything happened to her body. He watched Gir, just standing there, staring at the sky, kind of standing on tiptoe every once and a while. What in the heck was he doing?

After a few minutes Gir sat onto the grass and pulled off one of his shoes, dumping it upside-down as if expecting something to fall out. of course, nothing did.

Oh..no more fuel..

He leapt back to his feet and began skipping inside, grabbing Dib by the arm along the way.

Dib found himself being dragged inside by Des/Gir.

You know, there's NO way you're going to skool tomorrow....

Skool? Oooo..I wanna go to skool! Take me to skool!

 

Suddenly he lifted Dib off the ground, holding him over his head, and began to run into the streets, as if he were heading to the skool

Ahh! Gir, put me down!

He struggled and whacked him/her a few times, making quite a fuss.

Skoooooool!!

 

Gir ran crazily down the street, the skool building slowly coming into view. but suddenly a light hit him from the side, and he turned to see 247, the store that sold chocolate bubblegum.

OoooOoOooo...

He dropped Dib, of course making him land on his head, and ran into the store. a few moments later he came back out, happily slurping his drink and calmed down for the time being*

Des: I'll just take this handy remote control, because the rest of the stuff is boring here… so hang on ! ^_~ **presses fast forward**
***

Gir slept on the couch, tongue sticking out his mouth, as he dreamed of pig and mongoose, getting married and living happily ever after. suddenly he heard a crash outside, followed by the meow of a cat. shooting up, he looked out the window.

Kitty!

The cat meowed again, and this time he jumped to his feet and ran to the door, swinging it open. looking down, he spotted a small stray cat, digging through a neighbor's garbage can. the cat looked up and spotted Gir/Des and instantly sensed it should run. now. and so it took off into the night's streets, and gir quickly followed.

Kitty! Come back! I wanna plaaaay!

He ran after the cat, arms outstretched, and crying after it, soon rounding a street corner. and then he was long gone, within a matter of five minutes, before Dib would have even realized he had left in the first place.

About an hour later, Dib groaned and sat up. Apparently, Irkens didn't have beds. He heard a crash.

Gir?

He looked around, and saw the 'oh-so-famous squirrel' had gotten into the house and knocked something over.

Oh, it's just a squirrel....Wait, where's Gir?!

Suddenly struck with a sense of panic, he searched throughout the house, and then jumped into the trash can, fearful that he was in there further causing mayhem. But he wasn't...in fact, he wasn't anywhere! His eyes widened.

Des, is gonna kill me.

Nak: Whee! More timewarpy fun!

It was early morning and Zim was just waking from his night of sleeping on the floor. He sat up, and cringed, rubbing his suddenly sore back. slowly he stood to his feet and grabbed Des, whether she was still sleeping or not. at that, he quickly began heading to his house, so he could fix his cloning machine as quick as possible.

Des hadn't ever really fallen asleep. She guessed it was because robots were artificially intelligent (well, or artificially unintelligent, like Gir) they didn't sleep. She had stayed up all night going through old zines, then sat on the bed and looked at the cieling. She struggled again as Zim grabbed her, REALLY disliking being carried around like that. She raised her arm to whack him, but then put it down and sighed at the robot's feeble strength. She would have liked to have set him on fire with her jets, but she didn't want to hurt Dib's body....

Reaching his front door, Zim swung it open and stepped inside. quickly he surveyed the surroundings. everything seemed intact, nothing was missing or out of line. so far so good.

Dib!

Des finally managed to wriggle free, as ZimmyDib walked into the living room. He looked very nervous...Dib fidgeted, looking at Des and Zim.

God, I thought that night would never end...

Des looked around. It was unusually quiet.

Dib? Where is Gir?

Um...er...um...ah..... I-I-I...lost him..

Dib stammered, and then cringed.

YOU WHAT?!!!

Somehow, Zim was not surprised. he even snickered a bit. so, it seems when he finally fixed his machine, Des would not have a body to go back to. and Gir was really more trouble than it was worth. he could easily located the robot when the machine was fixed.

I'm sorry Des!! I'm sorreeeee!

You'll be more than sorry....

Des raised her little arm and then sighed again. Damn these weak arms! Then she turned to Zim, who was snickering.

WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?!?!

Zim blinked and looked down when Des yelled at him, only a bit intimated. but still, to see Gir's body with such an angry expression and looking like he was about to kill you was comical enough in itself. but then he began thinking about the havoc his companion might cause in the city if left to his own for too long, not to mention now being in a human body made him twice as dangerous.

Well, Dib. I do hope your prepared to run from your earthling friends when they realize Des here is actually Gir. Now.. you're the alien, not me.

He grinned. Dib scowled at Zim.

Des blinked, out of pure shock. She never acted this out of control, even when she was furious. She sighed and calmed down, ignoring Zim's comment, which didn't totally make sense anyway. Or maybe Gir's stupidity was starting to get her. She had noticed her body had started giving her Gir-esque feelings....like right now, what a craving for Tuna!

Anyway... we need to find Gir. We need to find him now, before he kills me....kills himself...err....kills...us....agh, forget it, we need to find him!

Zim scowled back at Dib, when suddenly he heard a familiar humming coming from outside.

Gir happily bounded into the house, holding Kitty in a death grip, and his..err..Des's body literally covered in cat scratches and bites. he skipped over to Dib who he of course still thought was Zim.

Des gasped at her battered, catscratched body, her eyes huge. Then she sent an accusing look at Dib.

Dib looked back nervously, but sighed in relief that Gir had come back.

Zim's eyes widened at seeing the condition Gir was in, even if the small used-to-be-robot-but-is-now-Des didn't seem to notice at all. he then sighed.

Well, Gir is back. Now I can get back to working on my machine.

Gir grinned goofily.

Look Master! He followed me home! Can I keep him?

He quickly squeezed Kitty in a tight hug, nearly suffocating him. suddenly, 'Kitty' leaped out of Gir's arms and onto Dib's head, yowling and screaming the entire time and gouging Dib with its claws.

Loook! He likes you!

He flailed his arms and watched as Kitty 'liked' Dib, before jumping off and running out of the house as quick as its legs would carry it.

Noooo Kitty! Come baaack!

He began sobbing as Kitty ran away, but then calmed down a lot quicker than he normally would have.

Des looked at the clock.

Ack! We were supposed to be in Skool an hour ago!!

Just then she was hit with a horrible image of Gir in her body at Skool, and overreacting kicked in.

What are we going to do!? And do you guys have any cupcakes? I've been having horrible cravings...

Zim grumbled under his breath at remembering skool and sighed.

Very well.

He took a step to his lab to put on his disguise, but then remembered he no longer needed it, and instead began heading out the door, having to drag Gir behind him.

Dib began to walk outside when Des grabbed him by the shirt with her little hand.

Hey, let me go, I have to go to Skool!

Aren't you forgetting something?

Oh, right....

Dib put on the disguise.

Thanks, Des.

He walked out the door.

Wait, I'm coming too!

she zipped up the dog suit and ran after him, her little feet making squeaky noises.

I have to make sure you guys don't get into too much trouble!

Are you crazy?!

I'll stay hidden...ooo! Cupcake!

she spotted a cupcake Gir had left on the ground, hugged it, and then realized what she was doing and chucked it away.

Ack! What was that?!

Des: Oh come on, you don't really wanna see them walk to Skool right? ^_^ Good. Because that's another boring scene. **hits fast forward**

Zim sat in Dib's seat, a pencil in hand, and looked around the classroom. he had managed to sit Gir in Des's normal seat which was, thankfully, close to him. he looked over to Dib on the other side of the room, and clasped his pencil tighter, slowly bending it, until suddenly it snapped. he would show them, he'd show them all! he'd get that little alien--no, no, NO! WAIT! why was he thinking like that? he WAS that little alien!

Gir sat in his seat and tried watching Ms. Bitters as she talked, but he soon became bored. suddenly, he pulled out his own pencil and suddenly drew some small sketches working toward an intricate plan on how he'd expose Zim to the world, with the help of Dib, and then they'd know. then--ooo! bug! he spotted a little beetle crawling around on the floor, and stared at it in wonder.

Dib sat in Zim's seat and looked at Zim and Gir. Muahahaha! They'd be the first to become his...WHAT THE?! Why did he just think that?! He was trying to PROTECT the world!

Des stood outside the classroom, jumping up and down to get a look inside. She could see Gir, Zim, and Dib. Gir was drawin' a pretty picture....then she was just jumping up and down because it was so fun to jump, and hear that cool squeaky noise when she landed....wait! Des regained control of herself and grabbed onto the windowsill. The reason she was here was to make sure Gir didn't harm her body any further. She couldn't mess around.

Gir could hear a faint squeaking noise outside, and looked out the window to see Des perch on the windowsill.

Hiii!

Keef: What's that?

Gir: It's me! Hii me!

He began to wave at Des.

Zita: You? You mean..ooohh! You have one of those new robot things that are programmed to follow you everywhere? That's cool, man.

The kids chattered, saying "That's cool, you're cool, Des" and things like that. Gir grinned.

Des gasped. She had been spotted! Then she blinked at the class's seemingly positive reaction, confusedly. She dropped down off the windowsill and hid in a bush.

Dib looked at Des. What was Gir doing here? Wait, no, not Gir, Des....DES, not Gir...

Hearing some chatter behind him, Zim quickly swerved around, only to find everyone twiddling their thumbs and whistling as if nothing had been going on, even Des...Gir. angrily, he turned back around and began to sketch something, not even realizing what it was until it was done. it was a picture of himself..of Zim..being autopsied on. wide-eyed, he quickly shredded up the image and threw it across the room, disgusted.

Dib looked at the air, Ms. Bitters talking about how doooomed everyone was. Yes, they certainly were, heh heh....ack! Stop thinking those thoughts! Stop it now, Zim..er...Dib...aghhh!! You are DIB, DIB!!! Dib was then hit with the paper ball. Opening it, he became enraged and sent a death glare in Zim's direction. But then he blinked, regaining control of himself. He recognized it as something he always would draw...

(Recess)

Zim angrily stepped out onto the playground, a new piece of crumpled paper in hand. during lunch, he had drawn yet another picture of himself being cut open and tortured in every other way humanly possible. he had also gained a new bruise on his shoulder from talking too much during Gaz's game. he was not happy about this. not happy at all.

Gir also stepped out onto the lunchroom, tagging along a few friends he'd made during lunch. he began heading over to Dib, and they left him.

Dib walked onto the playground, very disturbed by the thoughts coming into his head.

Des looked around and ran over to ZimmyDib, her feet making those happy squeaky noises she liked. The four met in the middle of the playground. Des was the first to speak up.

Okay, I'm really getting worried.

We need to figure out what's going on, and how to stop it!

 

Zim cringed out how..Dibbish he was sounding, and quickly threw down the paper he was holding.

We're turning into each other!

I like being Des!

Gir had seemed to figure out who was who at this point, and had by now realized he was not Gir anymore.

What!? Well, I don't like being you!

She had really been bothered by how overreactive she had been lately....and by her constant spacing out. Hey, butterfly...no! Concentrate, Des!

So what do you expect we do about this?

Zim glared at Dib for a moment, for no reason in particular except he suddenly felt like wrapping his hands around that alien's throat and squeezing away his lifeforce..and he didn't even catch himself thinking like until a few minutes later, when he suddenly jerked himself back into reality. Then Gir spoke up.

It's very simple really. We just…..

Gir started saying something that only top-notch scientists would understand. Then he hiccuped and stuck his tongue out in his normal fashion. Des blinked.

What?

Dib returned Zim's glare, and reminded himself that soon he would be his slaaaave...ack! Another Zim-esque thought....

Um, yeah...what Gir said.. all I know is we need to switch back, and QUICK!

Just how *long* will it take to fix the machine?

Des inquired. Zim replied,

If I have all the right materials, and time alone..

he looked to Gir for a quick moment..

..it should take me no more than a day or two, unless the damage is more severe than expected.

Des offered a solution to what could be done with Gir.

Gir, could stay at my house....My parents are worried about me...

Gir suddenly saluted Des, the robot Des anyway.

 

I will beeee..Des!

Snatching the butterfly Des had been looking over before, he began to study its wing structure

Then it's settled. Dib..

Zim groaned

..you will assist me in fixing the machine, taking Gir's place. Des...you will go… run off and do what little robots do..

Des gave Zim a dirty look. Well, actually it was that Sir-esque glare. Then she ran off after something she had seen move....Dib groaned and said,

Fine. Let's get this over with.

(Lab)

Zim sat next to the machine, arms of his trenchcoat pulled up, and forehead perspiring just slightly. he and Dib had been working on the machine for about an hour now, but seemed to be getting nowhere fast.

Magiinkak.

He pointed to a device that looked much like an earthen hammer.

Dib handed Zim the Magiinkak, somehow knowing exactly what it was.

Zim began hitting a part of the machine with it, when suddenly the two could hear a whirring sound coming from the top. his eyes widened when suddenly part of the machine exploded, leaving his face covered in ash and his hair blown back. frowning, he slipped off his glasses and rubbed the ash off them.

Inferior human vision utensils..

he placed them back on and stood, circling the machine and trying to figure out the problem, all the while looking at Zim and wanting to alert the whole world that he was an alien.

Oh boy. That's not good, is it?

Dib frowned at the machine and then at Zim. Stupid...gyaa! He wasn't just about to think what he *thought* he was about to think, did he?!

Of course that's not good. That is very BAD.

He turned to Dib, hand to his chin. when suddenly he realized. the alien was sitting right there! he had full chance to grab him! instantly lunging at Dib, he threw him to the ground and quickly lifted him up by the antenna.

Hahaha! Now I've got you! You'll never get away!

He laughed maniacally, when he blinked, realizing what had just happened, and dropped Dib back to the ground.

We have got to fix that machine..

Dib fell on the ground, and blinked in shock. This was getting BAD. REAALLY bad. Zim had just acted *exactly* like him. And the worst thing was, he had just gotten an urge to act *exactly* like Zim. Dib stood up, and tried to shake off that idea. He had more control, right? He was smarter than that PITIFUL......ahhhh!!!!!!!

Taking a look over the machine, Zim began to realize this project would take much longer than expected, but..they obviously didn't have that amount of time. and trying to juggle both school and fixing the machine..it just wasn't possible. sighing, he turned to Dib.

When Gir pushed that button on the machine, it completely destroyed the mechanisms and internal workings, and the fact that the machine wasn't even finished yet at the time only makes things worse.

He paused for a moment, seeing if there was any other alternative, or quicker way to get this machine fixed. there wasn't.

I'm not going to skool tomorrow. You always go, so my remaining here should not put a dent on your...'absenteee' record.

He wouldn't care even if it did, but he knew Dib would probably put up a fuss either way.

Dib sighed. He would have complained horribly, but this was way more important than his absentee record. This was his body.

Des stood by her house. She looked up at the top. Maybe some stargazing would get her feeling like herself.....she turned on her jet rockets (which by now I guess she had learned to control) and flew herself up to the roof. She looked out upon the vast starry sky, and then....she ran maniacally around the roof, falling down the skylight and landing on her bed. Gir had been sitting on the bed when Des suddenly came crashing in, and quickly swerved around. on top of his head sat a pair of underwear, and in his arms he held a doodle of Zim tied down and frying from being pelted with water.

I. Draw. A. Piiicture.

He blinked.

Loook!

suddenly he shoved the drawing in Des's face.

Des grabbed the doodle and gasped. He drew like her....he was starting to think like her...her eyes widened at what this could mean. Gir didn't know better....Dib could be in real danger, now that Gir was starting to become more like Des.....and...ooh! TV! Wait, concentrate, what am I going to do!

...Gir, take that underwear off your head....

Gir grinned at his drawing and stood, the underwear falling off and onto Des. suddenly she lifted Des by the leg and held her upside down, inches from his face. pulling out her little analyzer computer thing, she began scanning des back and forth...back and forth...back and forth...and didn't seem to expect to be stopping any time this millenium.

Des struggled a little, but then realized it was useless as currently Gir was stronger than her. So she just hung there, upside down, as Gir scanned her repeatedly. Suddenly the door opened and a familiar voice said,

"Des, honey, can we talk?"

Oh crap, it's Dad!

Gir didn't even register the human's voice until a minute later, when he suddenly dropped Des, clonking her on her head, and turned around.

Dad moved over to the bed and motioned for Des to follow.

Gir watched him, and then actually followed, as if he knew what was going on.

 

Des, I know I haven't been there much for you, but I just wanted you to know I was really worried last night when you didn't come home, and I love you. So if there's ever anything you wanted to tell me, I'm right here for you right now..........Des?

Gir stared at the human, saying nothing, and continued to do so when he stopped speaking. instead, he was staring at a spot on the wall that had suddenly become very fascinating. but suddenly he jerked back into reality.

Yeah, okay...cupcake!

Honey are you okay?

He moved his hand to her back.

I'm fine, really.

He spoke as if he was almost sane--temporarily, when suddenly one of his 'kill Zim' urges popped in.

You can go now cause I gotta go kill an alien that is here to take over the world and imprison humanity and so I gotta dump some water on and...stuff.

He spoke really quickly, but then just..stopped. Dad raised an eyebrow.

Haave..you considered therapy?

Therapy is for the feeble-minded..

Well, okay.

he stepped out of the room and began closing the door.

Are you sure you're okay?

I'm fine.

Dad shrugged, before closing the door and leaving. Des got up from the floor.

Great. Now Dad thinks I'm crazy. And I've got one of those crazy cravings again...I don't guess you've got any tuna?

Gir's eyes widened.

I want tuuuuna! No, I don't want tuna. I waaant..

Suddenly he spotted Des's huge Super Soaker, and lifted it up in awe.

OoooOOoOoo.....water...

She grinned, already thinking up plans on how he could use this against Zim.

Des gasped, seeing Gir holding the super soaker. NOT GOOD! NOT GOOD! She jumped on the bed and then used her Jet rockets to fly out of the skylight, landing in front of Zim's house. She burst through the door and jumped down the trash can, landing in the lab.

You guys, we have a BIG problem.

Zim had been inside the machine, fixing some of the wires, when Des came running into the lab. the shock of her sudden voice caused him to violently ram his head into the top of the machine, before slowly pulling out, rubbing his hand along the new bruise.

Whatever it is, it'll have to wait. The machine's worse off than we thought..

Oh GREAT. This is just PEACHY. Gir's becoming me rapidly and now he has my super soaker.....

WHAT?!

Dib was obviously more distraught by this, being that he was in Zim's body. Des spoke again.

I don't know if he can tell the difference, but I'm worried....how bad off is the machine?

Without even saying anything, Zim slammed the hatch he had opened shut, and instantly a portion of the machine shot out a burst of sparks and began smoking. he frowned, knowing this job would take forever.

THAT'S how bad off the machine is. And all because of youuuuu...

He began motioning to both Des and Dib. Des responded angrily.

Not entirely! What were we supposed to do, let you clone yourself and take over, and be all cool with that?! I think not! And besides, *we* didn't push the button.

Des just stood there, glaring at Zim.

Oh, forget it. Just, watch your back and get some paste, Dib….

She stormed out.

Zim grumbled under his breath as Des stormed away, when suddenly one of the alarms in his lab went off.

What was that?! What's happening?!

Dib's lack of knowledge of the things in his own lab had hit him momentarily, and he smacked his forehead in frustration. there was an intruder!

Gir walked into Zim's house, SuperSoaker at the ready. she stepped over the small Gir and headed directly for the trash bin, knowing that was one of the secret entrances to Zim's lair. quickly she shot herself downward, until she was suddenly faced with Zim and Dib. she didn't even stop to think why Dib was there, and only aimed the water gun directly at Zim.

Prepare to die, alien scum.

suddenly she pulled the trigger of the gun, expecting water to come shooting out of it, but with Gir's natural lack of intellegence, she had forgotten to fill the gun up with water, and so nothing happened. d'oh!

but just as she turned to charge Zim, she kicked back into 'Gir' mode, and instantly he slumped over, sticking his tongue out of his mouth. Dib grinned deviously.

Muahahahha! You can never defeat meee!

Dib laughed evilly, then realized what he had just said and clapped his hand over his mouth.

I'm okay....

Zim just stared as Gir came crashing into the lab, prepared to pelt Dib with water. he almost sighed in relief when no water coming out, meaning his body was still safe, even if Dib was as well. he slowly stepped over to Gir, and slowly grabbed his wrist, slipping the gun away. But, as he sat there holding Des's hand, a strange feeling swept over him, something he'd never felt before. quickly he gritted his teeth and slapped himself, pulling away. what were these thoughts taking over his mind?!

Des ran back to the trash can, after getting up from being knocked over by Gir. She jumped down, expecting to see Dib sizzling on the floor.

Dib, are you okay?!

Dib scratched his head.

Yeah, I'm fine...he forgot to load the squirtgun.... Hey, what's with you, Zim!?

Zim had been staring into Des's eyes, mystified. everything around him had become a blue, and he didn't even notice as Gir came back in. but suddenly Dib's voice rang through his head, and he shook himself back to reality.

There is nothing wrong with me, human earthworm.

He took one last glance to Des, before looking to the machine.

Gir soon sat on the floor, and just started staring at Dib. he did nothing, just stared, a frown covering his face. Des took Gir's hand.

Err...sorry about Gir, you guys. Come on....

as soon as Des grabbed his hand, Gir shot up and began skipping out of the lab, of course throwing Des with every movement.

Zim sighed and turned back to the machine, trying to see if he could do any more to it before having to go to Dib's house for the night.

Des: Timewarp!

Zim had remained working in the lab all day just as he said he would, not taking his mind off the machine for a single minute. well, okay, so that wasn't entirely true. he had wasted nearly half an hour of having Des floating through his mind, but had shook it off as quickly as he had noticed. he had also had to spend a few moments here and there remembering what different tools did, his knowledge of Irken technology rapidly fading.

it was almost time for skool to let out, and he had gotten near nowhere in fixing this machine. he just couldn't find the source of the problem! he had fixed many things here and there, but there was just one big problem that he absolutely needed to find and fix, or all hope would be lost. frustrated, he threw the tool he was holding down, and tapped his foot.

Having gotten out of Skool, Dib ran to Zim's house He went down to the lab to help Zim with the machine, to see him standing there in frustration.

No luck, huh?

Zim frowned.

None.

He again began circling the machine.

There's something wrong with it, but I just can't seem to spot it..

Dib looked up and down at the machine, when suddenly he heard the door open, and heard the voices of ...Des, Gir, and someone else...where had he heard that voice? It repulsed him so!

Zim's eyes soon widened. HE instantly recognized that voice. it was the spawn of the devil himself--Keef. quickly he lept up the tube into the kitchen to see the three come in, followed by Dib.

Thank you for inviting me over to Zim's house. He'll be so happy!

Keef clasped his hands together and smiled in his freakish way.

Des stood behind Gir and Keef, and sighed. Then she noticed a roach crawling up the wall and stared at it, fascinated.

Zim shrieked and pointed at Keef.

What is HE doing here?! Gir!

Keef looked over to Zim, who he thought was Dib.

Oh! You already had company? Great! We can have a party!

suddenly he ran into the kitchen, and came out a few moments later, carrying three cups.

Ice water for everyone!

Des directed her attention from the roach to Zim.

Don't look at me...

She went back to looking at a stain on the carpet.

Gir stood in the doorway watching as Keef went into the kitchen.

 It wasn't my fault. He followed me hooome! Ooooo! Water!

He grabbed a glass and chucked it down, spilling water all over the place.

Zim frowned as he watched Keef and silently lifted a glass. He then walked over behind Dib, and suddenly dumped the water onto him.

You deal with him. I've got more important business to attain to.

He began heading back to the lab, ignoring Keef as he called after him.

Dib sizzled from having water dumped on him. The..PAIN!

No water!! Gah....

Des was still fascinated with the stain. But then she randomly ran in a circle, causing Keef to drop ALL the water on Dib.

GYAAAAAAHHH!!!!!

Dib fell to the ground, sizzling like an egg.

Zim turned around at hearing Dib's agonizing scream, and saw him writhing on the floor sizzling, Keef standing over him. he chuckled slightly, enjoying seeing the alien in pain. that would show him. wait, no! stop thinking about that! you have to fix the machine!

he waited for no one to be watching, before quickly heading back into the lab*

Meanwhile, Des leaned over the agonized Dib.

Are you okayyy, Mas-er....Dib!?

She smacked herself. Get a grip! You're DES not GIR! You're the calm, levelheaded one, the one that stays SANE! Oooh, mosquito....

Keef looked down to Zim, who seemed to be in pain.

Hey, my dad's a doctor! Maybe he can fix you!

He quickly grabbed his arm and began dragging him out of the house as Gir watched the entire scene with silent curiosity.Des watched Keef drag Dib off. Oh well, it'd keep em' busy...part of her mind was telling her to go after them, and that it was dangerous, but the other part of her mind was thinking about chocolate bubblegum.....ooooh....

Dib struggled from Keef. No way was he going to let some....fiiiilthy....ack!! He smacked himself again. STOP BEING ZIMMISH! He finally managed to wriggle free. Keef looked at him.

Hey buddy, where're you going? My dad can still fix you!

Suddenly he stopped, hearing a maniacal cackling coming from behind him. turning around, he looked up just in time to see a tall, very skinny man, stare back down at him, a devious grin spread across his face. suddenly the man lifted him, and slowly began to drag him away, his deadly cackling filling the streets. moments later there were a series of pain-ridden shrieks and screams, before all went silent.

Dib blinked his lensed eyes.

Well, that was lucky.

He walked back inside. Des ran around in circles, chasing her shadow.

Zim lay on his back in the lab, utterly at a dead-end with this machine. what was wrong?!

Dib hopped down into the lab, having gotten a new idea.

You know, my sister's not bad with machines; she's fixed her GameSlave several times....

Des chased her shadow down the trash can, landing on her head.

Wheeeee!!!

Dib watched Des act maniacal for about a minute, before she finally regained her control.

We have GOT to fix that machine.....

I will NOT stoop as low as to ask this huuuman for help!

Zim yelled, but then he glanced at the smoking machine.

But I don't think I have the choice. Fiiine. I'll get your puny sister to help.

He knew this would mean she'd find out for sure Dib had been right, but if he judged correctly from his time spent with her the last two nights, it didn't seem she really cared much, and so hopefully she would not become a threat.

Nak: Time warp! Yay!

Gaz was in her room with her stereo turned on, lying on her bed. she was near finishing this level of her game, meaning 'Do Not Disturb!'

Zim stepped inside the house without hesitating. by this time, he'd gotten used to just going right into his rival's home.

Gir looked around the house, mystified. he then began touching things, and ended up dropping a glass vase, causing it to shatter.

Dib walked into his house. he looked around, taking in the familiar rooms. The familiarity seemed to bring him to his senses, and he headed for Gaz's room.

Des looked around hyperly, at all the lizards and bugs and things. Walking inside, she regained control, following the other three....wherever....where were they going? She forgot….

Nervously, Zim moved his hand up to Gaz's door to begin knocking, feeling a little awkward.

What do you want Dib?!

Her voice came muffled from the other side of the door, angered

Gir suddenly grabbed hold of the doorknob and swung it open, slamming it into the wall.

Dib!!!

Suddenly her eyes widened as she spotted not only Dib, but Zim, Des..and some weird dog thing. angrily she flung herself off her bed and shut off her stereo, walking right up to Dib.

What?!

Zim cringed just slightly as she walked up to him, but then looked confused, not sure what he should say. Dib decided to take matters into his own hands.

That's not Dib. I'm Dib! There was...erm...an accident.

Gaz raised an eyebrow and looked to Zim, who claimed to be Dib.

Right, an accident. Well there's going to be another accident soon if you don't leave me alone..

as she said this, she clenched her fist

Dib sighed. He was just going to have to get it out quick.

Our bodies were switched and the machine is broken horribly.

he winced as he said this

Will you help us, Gaz?

You expect me to believe that?

She looked over to Des, who was rolling around in her blanket before she suddenly fell off the edge of the bed. frustrated, she sighed.

Fine.

She let the rest in before closing her door behind her.

Alright, Dib, or Zim or whatever. I still don't believe you, but I think I'll humor you. Okay, so if I help you with whatever it is you need help with, what's in it for me?

Des looked at Dib. Oh god, there was nothing she could think of!

Um...I have a cupcake...

Dib looked at Des in disbelief. That wasn't going to work!

Gaz again sighed, eyes narrowed.

Okay fine. Dib.

She turned to Zim, who she of course thought was Dib. she may be humoring them with helping, but they were still crackpots as far as she was concerned.

You owe me those new batteries and two new games, as well as getting my GameSlave fixed whenever I need it for the next month. Zim..

she turned to him

..assuming you are an alien like Dib keeps saying you are, you must have advanced technology. I get a laser gun. Des, I get your motorcycle thing for a day.

You..

She turned to Gir. then she paused, trying to figure him out.

..I don't even know what you are.

she silenced after this, waiting for them to comply with her deal. either way, she didn't care. Des sighed. She was kinda scared of the image of Gaz on her motorcycle with a laser gun, but she wanted OUT of this body. She reached out her little robot hand.

Done.

The others also agreed. Gaz sighed.

Okay then. What do you need?

Des: Yeah, okay! ^_~ Time-warp, Zim's house!

Zim stood nervously in his kitchen. Gaz was about to find out first-hand just how right Dib had been all along.

Over here..

grudgingly, he made his way to the trash big and flipped up the lid, before calmly stepping inside. Gir followed Zim, but instead he leaped in head-first.

Gaz rolled her eyes. so, we were going into a trash can now? great. but she followed as well, and found herself sliding down a long tube, landing in what appeared to be...a huge arcade! upon further inspection, she realized these were not games, but different computer..stuff. Dib and Des soon came down the tube after them.

It's over here.

Zim led her over to the machine, which was still obviously broken.

After getting over the, well, really very minimal shock that her brother had been right, Gaz followed Dib to a large machine.

There's something wrong with it, but I just--

Gaz cut him off.

Move over.

She stood surveying the machine for a few minutes, before beginning to circle it, to stand in front of it again.

It's very simple, really.

She pushed a couple of buttons, and then suddenly kicked the side of the machine as hard as she could. after only a few seconds of silence, the machine began whirring and the lights flickering, and it slowly rebooted itself to working quality.

There. It's fixed.

Zim stood, jaw gaping, at how easily Gaz had fixed the machine. Des jumped up happily.

yyess!! Ha ha!!! No more weak little robot arms, no more insanity! No more cupcake cravings!! Yeeeesss!!! ahmm... I'm okay....

Dib: Alright, let's get back to normal!

Zim: Yesss..

Quickly Zim ran over to the part of the machine that had begun it all, preparing to push the button again. Gaz looked on skeptically, expecting nothing to happen.

Waiting only mere seconds, he pushed in the button, and another blinding white light engulfed the entire room.

Des looked around her as the white light faded. Yes! She was tall....she looked at her hands and moved them, her alien shirt, yes, it was there....Des smiled, glad to be in her own body. Zim and Gir had similar reactions. Dib didn't look quite so glad though, she wondered why...

Dib looked at his body. Oh crap, something had gone terribly wrong....his violet hair blew in front of him, and a skull necklace dangled from his neck. CRAP! He was ... he was...