To Shinobu-chan on Her 16th Birthday
By Luna Stop Swearing
Disclaimer: Love Hina belongs to Ken Akamatsu and whatever company he works for.
A/N: Be nice! This is my first Love Hina fic, and was inspired by Last Dance With Shinobu-chan by Project Pegasus. AMAZING writing. Best LH fic on FF.Net so far. Go read it, okay?!? As for the title, it's actually from an awful movie from the 90s, entitled To Gillian On Her 37th Birthday. It seemed. appropriate.
Words in ~~ indicate a character's thoughts.
Words in indicate a character's conscience.
{~*~}
Chapter 1: Ki
Ring.
~Shimatta. Good timing. BRILLIANT timing. Why does the damn phone always seem to ring when you're DOING something important and don't want to get distracted?~
"Will someone please answer the phone?" Naru yelled, buried among the columns of university books that she was meticulously poring over and taking notes from. She was already starting on her thesis, despite the fact that they had only been announced just a day ago. Well, now that she was a Toudaisei, there would be no slacking off. She'd rather marry Keitaro than flunk out.
Oi, where did THAT come from, e, Narusegawa?
At the thought of Keitaro and marriage in the same sentence, Naru cringed and copied out Dursell's Fifth Theory of Parapsychology in her neat, flowing script. ~Concentrate,~ she admonished herself, forcing the tiny, idiotic part of her brain that worshipped Keitaro to the deepest, darkest trenches of her psyche. It was embarrassing enough that she had put up with that speck of brain for a long time already, but to be controlled by it? Ugh! But the minute part of brain wouldn't go. It was like Superman. No matter how many times you tried to kill him, no matter how many times you pushed him off the ravine and think you'd won, he'd fly back up and stick his tongue out and taunt you, saying "Nya nya nya nya nya."
Ring.
With each subtle little ring, Naru's nerves felt like a thoroughly-chewed piece of tough beef being sliced through with a Ginzu knife.
~I need a break,~ she thought. She was so tired, even her thoughts were starting to babble. After all, she HAD been working for six hours straight, the routine being research copy, research copy yell at residents to shut up, research copy take a sip of sake and another and another. you get the picture.
She got up and went to the kitchen to make tea for herself and do a little light reading- perhaps digesting a few more theories on ESP and its relations to dreams would do her some good.
~The phone can ring itself out~, Naru decided, shaking out some mint leaves from a container and dipping it into the teapot full of a strange orange tea that Su-chan and Sara-chan had recently invented, which actually didn't taste half-bad. ~Just like my social life~, she added, watching Mitsune and Seta-sensei sitting on a low stone wall on a hill that overlooked the rest of Japan and its beautiful lights. Under the blue blanket that was the sky, sparkling with diamonds, it was romantic. If you didn't have someone to share it with, you'd feel like a total loser, which is what Naru felt like at the moment.
See, even Mitsune is better off than you are. She has someone to love. But you? Your life is a huge comedy, a satire. You work and work, and yet nothing happens. You are just a pawn in a huge chess game that you can't even comprehend. You don't own yourself.
Naru would have given her kidney to anyone who could take her conscience away and send it straight to hell.
~Being alone is worse than being dead~, Naru declared. Another sharp ring jolted her senses as she imagined her death, her funeral, her soul lingering somewhere in Hinata Sou and kicking Keitaro whenever she felt like it.
That did it, apparently. She unceremoniously slammed her teacup onto the tabletop and stalked back to the telephone.
"Are you purposely trying to make me go crazy?" she demanded of the phone.
The yellow plastic vibrated in response, adding a little condescending ring to it.
"Zankusen! I will avenge the women and children!" Motoko Aoyama cried, a mighty flash of wind descending the wooden staircase like an evanescent entity. Thinking it was Keitaro, she leapt from the banister and sent strike after strike in Naru's general direction. "You pervert! You bastard! Step away from Naru-sempai! I will grind your testicles to make my bread! I will use your blood to make tea! I-"
The air cleared, Motoko's shinai raised high above her head, waiting to see Keitaro in the flesh so she could maul him, preferably to death. But all she saw was Naru leaning flat against the wall, breathing heavily.
"Anou. Motoko-chan." Naru smiled weakly.
"Senpai? What happened? Where is Pervy McPerv?"
"Who, Motoko? Ah, Keitaro. He's not here."
Ring.
"But you were yelling." Motoko flushed profusely and looked away. ~Okay, wrong number. Leave. Leave quickly.~ "I must practice some more."
"It was just the phone, Motoko-chan."
Ring, the phone said in Naru's defense.
"Hn," the kendo girl responded before shamefully ascending the staircase, probably to change or ask Su and Sara to accompany her while she indulged herself in her favorite sport: Keitaro Hunting.
"Moshi moshi," Naru murmured half-heartedly into the phone. "Hinata-Sou."
"Is Shinobu there?" a woman's voice asked. "I would like to speak with her."
"May I ask who is calling?" Probably her mother, you idiot. But then again, Mrs. Maehara normally didn't call to check on her daughter.
"Her mother."
See? See? Her conscience was taunting her again. "Ryoukai, please hold."
Naru somewhat felt guilty, sounding like a telephone operator. She always wanted people to hear a homey sort of voice, like your mother's when she puts you to bed. Telephone operators and call centers were always so cold and impersonal, which was why she abandoned her girlish dream of working as one if she didn't get into Toudai. She let the receiver hang from its cord as she ascended the stairs, shouting "Shinobu-chan! Shinobu-chan!"
Probably studying in her room, baka.
She knocked at her kohai's door, accompanied by "Shinobu-chan! Shinobu- chan! Your 'ka-san's on the phone!" Knocking quickly turned into pounding, and pounding escalated into kicking the door open. Opening the door would have been the rational thing to do, but Naru wasn't a really rational person to begin with, so it didn't matter. One quick roundhouse kick did it, and the the door fell on the hardwood floor. She was thankful for her teenage years, practicing judo to strengthen her bones, which had been considerably weakened when she had been bedridden as a child.
"Shinobu! Shinobu! Where are you?" Futon. Desk. Chair. Closet. Poster of Masayo Kurata. Open window. No Shinobu. Naru Narusegawa tried to digest all of this at the same time. She flung open the closet. All of Shinobu's things were gone.
And Hell froze over.
~Uh oh~. Naru wasn't good at panicking-that was Keitaro's forte-so she tried to remain as calm as possible, descending the staircase normally, albeit she was visibly shaking and sweating.
"Na-ru!" Sara MacDougal yelled from the landing. "We caught fish for dinner tonight!"
"Hai!" Kaolla all but screamed from behind, holding up a few green-looking fish that had definitely seen better days. Or better waters. Or at least, nontoxic ones.
Disgusted although trying hard to appreciate the catch, Naru smiled awkwardly. "Wow! Eh.Su-chan, Sara-chan, have you seen Shinobu around lately? Did you see her go anywhere?"
Sara scratched her head. "Earlier, I saw her packing her things in this huge leather suitcase. I asked her what she was doing, and she said she was making room for more things."
"Come to think of it," Kaolla said slowly, "She was in the kitchen a little while ago, getting food from the kitchen. When I asked her who the food was for, she said she was going on a picnic by herself. And since I still had to go to school today, I didn't ask any more questions."
Naru's belly froze. ~Couldn't be. Little Shinobu-chan? Run away? That was even more laughable than the thought of me and Keitaro getting married! Damn, there's the thought again!~ She clutched her temple and cleared her brain of the fog that had built up. "You two, listen very carefully. Round up everyone in the Hinata Sou. Get them to meet me in the living room. EVERYONE, you hear. Mutsumi, Keitaro, Seta, EVERYONE. I'll try to talk Mrs. Maehara into hanging up."
"Shinobu's mom's on the phone?"
The sempai nodded morosely. "Scatter, both of you." She herself, in a show on complete un-feminism, hitched a leg over the banister and slid down with such ease even Kaolla and Sara would be envious of.
"Maehara-sama!" Naru exclaimed a little too peppily as she picked up the receiver again. "Uh.about Shinobu-chan.she's unavailable at the moment, but she'll return your call when she gets here, okay?"
"MINNA-SAN!" Sara and Kaolla yelling at the top of their lungs from some nook of the house. "SHINOBU IS MISSING! MEETING IN THE LIVING ROOM! MINNA- SAN."
Naru mutely begged them to keep it down, or better yet, shut up. Mrs. Maehara was no doubt going to hear it.
"What was that about Shinobu? She's MISSING?" Mrs. Maehara had definitely heard the shouting. ~Nice going, Kaolla, Sara.~
"Ah, iie, Maehara-sama!" Naru laughed nervously. "Su-chan was just saying that Shinobu-chan was missing something.her. her. bra." ~That didn't come out too well, ne?~ "Anyway, Maehara-sama, I have to go, ja!"
She slammed down the phone and started to panic just as Keitaro, Motoko, Mitsune, Mutsumi, Seta-sensei, Shirai, Haitani, Kitsune, Sara, Kaolla, and Haruka returned.
End of Chapter 1.
A/N: Well? Should I continue? Should it be Keitaro/Shinobu or Keitaro/Naru? Give me feedback! Review, okay, minna?
By Luna Stop Swearing
Disclaimer: Love Hina belongs to Ken Akamatsu and whatever company he works for.
A/N: Be nice! This is my first Love Hina fic, and was inspired by Last Dance With Shinobu-chan by Project Pegasus. AMAZING writing. Best LH fic on FF.Net so far. Go read it, okay?!? As for the title, it's actually from an awful movie from the 90s, entitled To Gillian On Her 37th Birthday. It seemed. appropriate.
Words in ~~ indicate a character's thoughts.
Words in indicate a character's conscience.
{~*~}
Chapter 1: Ki
Ring.
~Shimatta. Good timing. BRILLIANT timing. Why does the damn phone always seem to ring when you're DOING something important and don't want to get distracted?~
"Will someone please answer the phone?" Naru yelled, buried among the columns of university books that she was meticulously poring over and taking notes from. She was already starting on her thesis, despite the fact that they had only been announced just a day ago. Well, now that she was a Toudaisei, there would be no slacking off. She'd rather marry Keitaro than flunk out.
Oi, where did THAT come from, e, Narusegawa?
At the thought of Keitaro and marriage in the same sentence, Naru cringed and copied out Dursell's Fifth Theory of Parapsychology in her neat, flowing script. ~Concentrate,~ she admonished herself, forcing the tiny, idiotic part of her brain that worshipped Keitaro to the deepest, darkest trenches of her psyche. It was embarrassing enough that she had put up with that speck of brain for a long time already, but to be controlled by it? Ugh! But the minute part of brain wouldn't go. It was like Superman. No matter how many times you tried to kill him, no matter how many times you pushed him off the ravine and think you'd won, he'd fly back up and stick his tongue out and taunt you, saying "Nya nya nya nya nya."
Ring.
With each subtle little ring, Naru's nerves felt like a thoroughly-chewed piece of tough beef being sliced through with a Ginzu knife.
~I need a break,~ she thought. She was so tired, even her thoughts were starting to babble. After all, she HAD been working for six hours straight, the routine being research copy, research copy yell at residents to shut up, research copy take a sip of sake and another and another. you get the picture.
She got up and went to the kitchen to make tea for herself and do a little light reading- perhaps digesting a few more theories on ESP and its relations to dreams would do her some good.
~The phone can ring itself out~, Naru decided, shaking out some mint leaves from a container and dipping it into the teapot full of a strange orange tea that Su-chan and Sara-chan had recently invented, which actually didn't taste half-bad. ~Just like my social life~, she added, watching Mitsune and Seta-sensei sitting on a low stone wall on a hill that overlooked the rest of Japan and its beautiful lights. Under the blue blanket that was the sky, sparkling with diamonds, it was romantic. If you didn't have someone to share it with, you'd feel like a total loser, which is what Naru felt like at the moment.
See, even Mitsune is better off than you are. She has someone to love. But you? Your life is a huge comedy, a satire. You work and work, and yet nothing happens. You are just a pawn in a huge chess game that you can't even comprehend. You don't own yourself.
Naru would have given her kidney to anyone who could take her conscience away and send it straight to hell.
~Being alone is worse than being dead~, Naru declared. Another sharp ring jolted her senses as she imagined her death, her funeral, her soul lingering somewhere in Hinata Sou and kicking Keitaro whenever she felt like it.
That did it, apparently. She unceremoniously slammed her teacup onto the tabletop and stalked back to the telephone.
"Are you purposely trying to make me go crazy?" she demanded of the phone.
The yellow plastic vibrated in response, adding a little condescending ring to it.
"Zankusen! I will avenge the women and children!" Motoko Aoyama cried, a mighty flash of wind descending the wooden staircase like an evanescent entity. Thinking it was Keitaro, she leapt from the banister and sent strike after strike in Naru's general direction. "You pervert! You bastard! Step away from Naru-sempai! I will grind your testicles to make my bread! I will use your blood to make tea! I-"
The air cleared, Motoko's shinai raised high above her head, waiting to see Keitaro in the flesh so she could maul him, preferably to death. But all she saw was Naru leaning flat against the wall, breathing heavily.
"Anou. Motoko-chan." Naru smiled weakly.
"Senpai? What happened? Where is Pervy McPerv?"
"Who, Motoko? Ah, Keitaro. He's not here."
Ring.
"But you were yelling." Motoko flushed profusely and looked away. ~Okay, wrong number. Leave. Leave quickly.~ "I must practice some more."
"It was just the phone, Motoko-chan."
Ring, the phone said in Naru's defense.
"Hn," the kendo girl responded before shamefully ascending the staircase, probably to change or ask Su and Sara to accompany her while she indulged herself in her favorite sport: Keitaro Hunting.
"Moshi moshi," Naru murmured half-heartedly into the phone. "Hinata-Sou."
"Is Shinobu there?" a woman's voice asked. "I would like to speak with her."
"May I ask who is calling?" Probably her mother, you idiot. But then again, Mrs. Maehara normally didn't call to check on her daughter.
"Her mother."
See? See? Her conscience was taunting her again. "Ryoukai, please hold."
Naru somewhat felt guilty, sounding like a telephone operator. She always wanted people to hear a homey sort of voice, like your mother's when she puts you to bed. Telephone operators and call centers were always so cold and impersonal, which was why she abandoned her girlish dream of working as one if she didn't get into Toudai. She let the receiver hang from its cord as she ascended the stairs, shouting "Shinobu-chan! Shinobu-chan!"
Probably studying in her room, baka.
She knocked at her kohai's door, accompanied by "Shinobu-chan! Shinobu- chan! Your 'ka-san's on the phone!" Knocking quickly turned into pounding, and pounding escalated into kicking the door open. Opening the door would have been the rational thing to do, but Naru wasn't a really rational person to begin with, so it didn't matter. One quick roundhouse kick did it, and the the door fell on the hardwood floor. She was thankful for her teenage years, practicing judo to strengthen her bones, which had been considerably weakened when she had been bedridden as a child.
"Shinobu! Shinobu! Where are you?" Futon. Desk. Chair. Closet. Poster of Masayo Kurata. Open window. No Shinobu. Naru Narusegawa tried to digest all of this at the same time. She flung open the closet. All of Shinobu's things were gone.
And Hell froze over.
~Uh oh~. Naru wasn't good at panicking-that was Keitaro's forte-so she tried to remain as calm as possible, descending the staircase normally, albeit she was visibly shaking and sweating.
"Na-ru!" Sara MacDougal yelled from the landing. "We caught fish for dinner tonight!"
"Hai!" Kaolla all but screamed from behind, holding up a few green-looking fish that had definitely seen better days. Or better waters. Or at least, nontoxic ones.
Disgusted although trying hard to appreciate the catch, Naru smiled awkwardly. "Wow! Eh.Su-chan, Sara-chan, have you seen Shinobu around lately? Did you see her go anywhere?"
Sara scratched her head. "Earlier, I saw her packing her things in this huge leather suitcase. I asked her what she was doing, and she said she was making room for more things."
"Come to think of it," Kaolla said slowly, "She was in the kitchen a little while ago, getting food from the kitchen. When I asked her who the food was for, she said she was going on a picnic by herself. And since I still had to go to school today, I didn't ask any more questions."
Naru's belly froze. ~Couldn't be. Little Shinobu-chan? Run away? That was even more laughable than the thought of me and Keitaro getting married! Damn, there's the thought again!~ She clutched her temple and cleared her brain of the fog that had built up. "You two, listen very carefully. Round up everyone in the Hinata Sou. Get them to meet me in the living room. EVERYONE, you hear. Mutsumi, Keitaro, Seta, EVERYONE. I'll try to talk Mrs. Maehara into hanging up."
"Shinobu's mom's on the phone?"
The sempai nodded morosely. "Scatter, both of you." She herself, in a show on complete un-feminism, hitched a leg over the banister and slid down with such ease even Kaolla and Sara would be envious of.
"Maehara-sama!" Naru exclaimed a little too peppily as she picked up the receiver again. "Uh.about Shinobu-chan.she's unavailable at the moment, but she'll return your call when she gets here, okay?"
"MINNA-SAN!" Sara and Kaolla yelling at the top of their lungs from some nook of the house. "SHINOBU IS MISSING! MEETING IN THE LIVING ROOM! MINNA- SAN."
Naru mutely begged them to keep it down, or better yet, shut up. Mrs. Maehara was no doubt going to hear it.
"What was that about Shinobu? She's MISSING?" Mrs. Maehara had definitely heard the shouting. ~Nice going, Kaolla, Sara.~
"Ah, iie, Maehara-sama!" Naru laughed nervously. "Su-chan was just saying that Shinobu-chan was missing something.her. her. bra." ~That didn't come out too well, ne?~ "Anyway, Maehara-sama, I have to go, ja!"
She slammed down the phone and started to panic just as Keitaro, Motoko, Mitsune, Mutsumi, Seta-sensei, Shirai, Haitani, Kitsune, Sara, Kaolla, and Haruka returned.
End of Chapter 1.
A/N: Well? Should I continue? Should it be Keitaro/Shinobu or Keitaro/Naru? Give me feedback! Review, okay, minna?