Hi folks! This is my first Inuyasha story, and hopefully, if people enjoy this one, it will lead into a much longer story arch I plan to write. This is my take on how Inuyasha and Kagome's relationship developed during her first year after coming back to the feudal era.
Disclaimer, as always, Inuyasha and the other characters aren't mine.
By the Well
By Katelina
Kagome rested her head down on her palms, elbows digging painfully into her thighs. Her legs dangled over the side of the now dormant well, the window blowing the strands of her raven locks in spirals around her head like a crown.
It had been, by all estimates, 365 days and 6 hours since the well had last been active. She had been so happy feeling the warmth of his clawed hand grasp hers to pull her from the well. Despite a slight chill in the air, she had felt nothing but flushed warmth resulting from the glowing smile that crossed her lips.
"Inuyasha I'm so sorry…were you waiting here for me?"
"Kagome…" he'd pulled her so tightly into his embrace that she felt his youkai push against her. "You idiot, what have you been doing all this time?"
She'd felt such love and hope in that moment. She had grasped him so desperately that her knuckles looked like snow against the red of his fire rat. She absorbed his scent like a drug - the woodsy smell that always tickled her nose – and dug her head into his chest, feeling his heart beat rapidly as it often had after a hard fought battle. She felt him squeeze her tighter, and she knew she had made the right choice.
But that had been the last real embrace. He had shown her no true emotion since, appearing impassive when they were forced to talk. By all accounts his life continued much as it had while she was away – he went with Miroku during the days when exorcisms were needed, aiding in farming and clearing trees when requested, and protecting the village from stray yokai. He was never too far away from her, mostly to do with their growing rolls in the community, but still - he rarely touched her. He rarely spoke to her. Sometimes she would catch his golden eyes watching her, narrowed as if he were watching a fragile porcelain doll he was expecting to break – not because he was overly concerned about the outcome, but rather, because he was anticipating it at any time.
The days following her exit from the well had been busy ones – every villager had wanted to make their reunions or their acquaintances for the first time. Kaede had busied Kagome in her training, insisting they visit Jinenji as soon as possible so Kagome could begin her studying of medicinal herbs. While Kagome had reviewed ancient Chinese and Japanese herbs and healing techniques during her three years in the modern era, she still had much to learn – tricks that hadn't made their way onto the pages of textbooks. She had begun practicing with her bow again, and after a year it felt more like an extension of her own body than it did a tool to use. She had only had to use the bow once during the past twelve months – and it had been the only noteworthy time when Inuyasha had shown her any real emotion.
It had been six months since Kagome had left the well. The morning had begun quietly, the sting of the autumn air clinging to her skin as she rolled off her matt. She rolled it up and placed it on its permanent place next to the door of Kaede's home. Since arriving she has arisen every morning when Kaede did, preparing the morning's meal and rituals before Rin first stirred.
This morning was different. She had arisen far before Kaede. The sun had only begun to kiss the sky and the night still dominated the landscape. Dew kissed the grasses and clung to her feet as she stood in the grasses, looking out over the quiet sleepy village. There were only a few fires burning in homes peppering the village, leaving a lonely feeling in Kagome's heart. A feeling of loneliness clung to her chest for the first time since she had spent three days alone in the darkness three and a half years earlier.
She wondered if the loneliness of the morning was the result of Inuyasha's departure. It had been three days since Miroku and Inuyasha had left to aid a village bordering the western lands governed by Sesshomeru. While they had departed before, this was the first time he had been gone for three days.
Three days. Three whole days.
It seemed funny when she thought of it. She had lost him for three years when she had been trapped in the modern era. But she had felt her life renew when she came back to the feudal era. The reality of three days apart brought back the startling memories of the darkness. The loneliness that had clung to her heart and left her wishing for the end. A desperate sadness that ripped apart at her, but refused to let her die.
The feeling in her chest had nearly caused her to miss the faint yokai aura graze against her reiki. The hair on her arms began to stand and she felt a gentle shiver pass through her body. She focused her energies on the town, probing the villagers with her growing purifying aura. She felt nothing, as if the village itself were void of the life that radiated through it every day.
The hair on her head began to prickle as she obsessively scanned the village. After a few minutes she began to relax, feeling her wave of paranoia sweep away from her. Her senses began to recede and she turned to reenter the house. It was only an add chance that she saw out of the corned of her eye a black shadow momentarily pass by one of the few fires glowing quietly in the village.
Her breath catching in her throat, Kagome rushed into the house and grabbed her sacred bow. Tugging gently at the string she took off towards the village as quickly as possible. Kaede called after her, but Kagome did not take the time to respond, running as fast as her bare feet would carry her.
The blackness that hung over the hut blocked the light within. She felt the life within the small hut seep away. Unsure of what was plaguing the small village hut she drew her bow.
"Get away from there."
The best way to describe the yokai was that it seemed a black drift of clouds, wrapping over the roof of the building. It pulsed and heaved as if it were breathing in the essence of the home beneath it.
The answer came low and airy, as if the answer came not in sound itself, but by fluctuating the volume of the noise around her to formulate its words. The shiver in her arms grew more intense, but she held her bow steady in her hands.
"Are you…a…..Miko…" the word was like a whisper caressing her skin. She gripped her bow tighter as she responded.
"Get away from there."
Shifting from the form emerged a white mask, moving as if it were flowing over the waves of the ocean. It stared at her with black unchanging eyes. The mouth, the only other feature on the mask, remained unmoving as the yokai's words flowed through her surroundings again.
"Miko…power…light…"
The words were so broken that she felt herself focusing on every syllable as it pulsated through her mind.
"Kagome! Move away!" Kaede rushed down the hill following Kagome, grasping tightly at her arm. Kagome didn't budge, lifting her bow further and aiming for the mask.
"Kagome – child – there is nothing that can be done now. That is a no-face."
Kagome narrowed her eye brows, her eyes becoming focused slits and she stared down the mask which continued to pulse beneath the home. It slowly grew as if feeding off the energy of the home beneath it.
"No-faces feed off of light during the night Kagome. We can do nothing for this home now. Once the daylight has emerged the light will be too much and it will disappear."
"Disappear…only to reappear tonight?"
Kaede held her breath. "Yes."
"And what will happen to the villagers?"
"The villagers within that hut are most likely already gone Kagome. The no-face will feed off your essence, even your arrow itself. While light from the hut will sustain it – the light of a miko is most fulfilling. It will come after you next!"
Kagome gripped her bow tighter, aiming for the spot between the eyes of the mask.
"Kaede, take Rin and make sure that all the villagers douse their fires immediately. Quickly!" Kaede tugged again at Kagome's sleeve, but she shook her away. "No Kaede, go. I will draw it off."
"Kagome!"
"No Kaede, go!" Kagome lifted her bow and fired above the head of the no-face. The sacred arrow drew the masks's attention and it quickly ripped off the building, giving chase for Kagome who took off as fast as she could towards the Goshinboku. Drawing the no-face away from the village she could hopefully keep it off the village until daylight.
Pain split through her foot as she stepped on a small pointed rock. Cursing, she fought against the blood and the pain and ran as fast as she could, the shifting mass of black lapping at her heals. She could feel her essence be drained away, her reiki tugging at her skin as her purifying glow was drawn away from her. It was as if her purifying powers remained in place, but the soft light the was emitted was being drained away leaving her powers feeling empty and without purpose. It wasn't quite painful, but it was uncomfortable, making her feel like a part of her was sucked away leaving her emerged in darkness.
When she reached the goshinboku she turned, the no-face rapping itself around her. Lifting her bow, she made one final attempt to destroy the darkness that surrounded her. The fear she had experienced awaiting Inuyasha's rescue those years ago tugged at her even harder, but this time, he wasn't coming. She was on her own.
Catching a brief glimpse at the mask, she called again to it. "If you want my light look at me!"
The mask snapped in place, staring down at her. She concentrated, pressing all her remaining energy into a single point and released her arrow, smashing into the center of the mask. The essence that remained pulled back, releasing a scream that sounded much like Miroku's old wind tunnel. Kagome became acutely aware for the first time the noise around her as the restrictions from the no-face receaded. The yokai thrashed and bashed against the ground, its ghostly form for the first time appearing almost solid.
"Meidō Zangetsuha!" black blades sliced through the trashing essence before her, drawing the essence into the void created by tetsusaiga. Relief washed through Kagome as her silver haired hanyou appeared like a white knight in the tales she had read as a child.
"Kagome!" Inuyasha's eyes narrowed in anger. "What the hell were you doing?"
Kagome gasped, her annoyance with his anger brushing her fear aside. Her relief was quickly replaced with anger. "Drawing it away from the village, what does it look like I was doing?"
"Trying to get yourself killed you idiot!" He sheathed tetsusaiga and stalked towards her angrily. Before she had a chance to respond he pressed her to the ground, lifting her foot up to stare at the bleeding cut. For the first time, she realized the damage she had done running bare foot over the rocky path. She had a deep cut through the bottom of her foot that still bled profusely.
"Feh, you idiot." Inuyasha rubbed gently at the bottom of her foot, applying pressure to the wound. "If you died what the hell would the village do? You have a kami damned roll to play here. These people are counting on you."
"And I was doing my job!"
"Your job? What, by drawing a damned no-face onto you and getting yourself killed? It would have drained your essence, there would have been no coming back from that. If you lose your light you lose everything!"
She smacked at his arm. "I'm fine! I would have been fine! If you didn't notice I had it under control!"
He growled. "You destroyed the god damn mask. That's the only thing keeping those things in control. Without the mask, it could have destroyed everyone and everything in its path. If you knew ANYTHING about being a miko you would have known not to do anything to the kami damned mask."
Kagome leaned back against the tree. Brushing the palm of her hand across her eyes, she wiped the tears that threatened to fall away.
"I just wanted to save the villagers."
"Feh." Inuyasha continued forcibly running circles across the bottom of her injured foot. "Stop trying to be so selfless and use your brain you idiot."
Kagome jerked her foot away. She felt hot tears brush down her cheeks anew and she turned her head away from him.
"Kikyou wouldn't have done what you did."
She turned to look at him again. His face was turned away from her, staring down at his hands that were tainted with the blood from her foot. She would have sat him, but as he stood and ran his hands through his hair she knew better than to interrupt him. He was lost in thought, and she didn't feel any more like arguing.
"Just go. Leave me."
He looked down at her. Her hair had fallen over her face. He didn't argue, instead he turned and stalked away.
It had only been a few minutes before Miroku had caught up to where she had gone. He had picked her up, careful of her injury and weakened state and carried her back to the village. It had been a full week before she felt confident enough to put real pressure on her foot, and two weeks longer before she could run again. During those three weeks she saw Inuyasha even less than she did before. While he didn't leave the village at all, he didn't come to see her or speak to her. He kept to himself, focusing on the tasks he had and ignoring hers.
Now, six months later, she felt the rift between them still tearing at her insides. She pulled off her sandal, rubbing her fingers across her previously injured foot. That had been their last intentional physical contact. The last time he had felt she was worthy of any sort of intimacy. And oh how she missed it now.
She stared down the well, looking at the dry bed she had stared at so many times. This last year she had not stepped foot near the well, afraid of what would come if she did. She didn't really want to know if it was still open, mostly because if it was she was afraid she may be drawn down into it. Now, after a full year of hard work and a growing sense of loneliness she knew that if it were to be opened again, she could be tempted through.
She missed intimacy. Every time she would go and visit Miroku and Sango she would catch glimpses of physical contact, of the love they shared. Even when Miroku acted like a hentai and Sango smacked him as a result, she could see the love between the two of them. She longed to feel a part of a family again, the casual contact and feeling that only loved ones can provide. A hug, a gentle touch on her arm, she craved it. Even five years ago when she had begun to search for the jewel shards, Kagome had had some level of intimacy with Inuyasha. She was always touching him in some way, whether to ride on his back or touch his hand or even to sit him. The contact she made with him when she sat him wasn't physical, but it brushed against her in the same way – the connection feeling tangible and almost tactile in nature.
She still felt the gentleness of his kiss. They had only shared two kisses, one she had placed on him and one she thought had been voluntary. When he had found her in the darkness the relief had been so overwhelming for her that the only way she felt she could express it was through their touch. She didn't know what he had been thinking, but he had bent down to meet her lips at the same time. The loneliness she had felt washed away from her and she could feel her anxiety leave her body and soul.
"Inuyasha…" she whispered his name loud enough that only she could hear. Since the darkness of the no-face she had felt the loneliness of those three days hang off her like a heavy cloud. She wanted so badly to be relieved of the loneliness, but she knew that Inuyasha could not relieve it for her this time.
Dangling both feet over the edge of the well again, she leaned into her palms and wept.
Two days. Two kami damned days. Miroku needed to stop taking these assignments that took him away from the village overnight. He debated refusing them, but he knew how much his friend could use the payment. And besides…it was nice to feel needed again. Besides the run in with the no-face, the last four years had been tame with only the occasional run-in with a weak young yokai that didn't know that the forest – and the village it protected – were his. Most of the time a swift kick would resolve the issue, and rarely had he had to draw tetsusaiga. That's not to say that every yokai had walked away with his or her life, but few warranted more than a quick dispense with his claws.
Depositing the two new barrels of grain outside of Miroku's home he waved goodbye to his Miroku and his ever growing family. Sango was newly pregnant again and Inuyasha hoped that would mean Miroku would be more inclined to stay local for the time being (at least until Sango's anger grew to a fever pitch and she ordered him out of the village…which would be somewhere near the fifth or sixth month of pregnancy if previous experience was good to judge upon). Inuyasha sighed heavily – they seemed so happy, and likely wouldn't stop until they had the ten babies that Miroku had always spoken wistfully about on their journeys for the jewel.
Lifting his nose to the air he breathed in deeply, trying to gauge where Kagome was. He hoped she wasn't far, possibly in the fields picking the early spring herbs Kaede needed for certain exorcisms and healing remedies. He never liked being more than a minute or two away from her, choosing to work on tasks that would keep him close to her at all times. Even if it meant some pointless task better left to the local villagers, he gladly undertook them just so he would appear busy when he watched her move about her business. Kagome had become the sun around which his world spun, his routine dependent upon her.
When he did sleep, he slept in a tree overlooking Kaede's hut. From his vantage he could see a near 360 degree view of the hut, with his main focus on the only door. He would awaken numerous times a night just to probe the surroundings. On nights when he didn't sleep he would stand a constant vigil, moving only once or twice a night to briefly look in on Miroku and Sango's home and view parts of the village before returning to his vantage point over her.
He still, to this day, couldn't understand why she had returned. He had been so happy with her return the only thing he could think to do was grip her tightly to his chest. When he had walked her back to the village the only thing he wanted to do was touch her in some way, her arm, he waist, her hair. It didn't matter as long as some part of him was in contact with her. He needed his touch to confirm what his eyes and nose already knew. He just wanted that confirmation she was really there, back with him, and not off fighting some other "entrance exam" without him there to protect her.
The day she returned he had insisted she visit those around her whom she had loved and missed. Villagers flocked to her and spoke of her purity. The conversations flower freely through the villagers of her growing beauty and stature, and how her purifying aura had grown stronger. The villagers basked in her presence, thanking her for the first time for destroying Naraku and saving the village from his poisons with her purifying arrow. While the villagers knew that Inuyasha, Sesshomeru, Sango and Miroku had destroyed Naraku's body, it was Kagome's purifying light that had destroyed him in a way that no other could. Even Kikyou, with all of her strength and wisdom, had failed to be able to destroy Naraku as she had.
It was these conversations that set in the guilt. She was pure. She was perfect. While it was true, she had filled in and grown even more beautiful over the past three years, filling in her curves, height and body in a way that only time can aid, it was her strength that had caught the most attention. For all the pain she had experienced and all she had gone through, she still remained humble, offering the credit to her friends. She told every villager she could only have done what she did because he and the others had done their duty. They were the heroes, she was simply the finishers. Her purifying aura would often flare into light, demonstrating an increased and renewed strength. While he hadn't thought it possible, they had truly grown over the last three years, even without training.
With the guilt came doubt. He was impure. He would taint her. The guilt weighed into him to such an extent that he began to doubt himself and whether he had deserved her affections. It felt like when hey had met four years earlier, when he had doubted that anyone could feel true emotion for him. While she had done nothing to him to indicate that she would betray him, he felt that she would find him too impure. He would drag her powers down, tainting her in a way that she couldn't recover from. She would hate him for it. A vicious spiral swept through his minds to the point where he decided to distance himself to keep her safe. Keep her safe from his darkness.
But even so, he was never far away.
Turning his head towards the fields he furrowed his brows. While he could pick up her scent, it was old, as if she hadn't been there for a few hours. He went to head towards Kaede's home, but caught Kagome's scent strongly upon the wind coming from the…
He froze. Her scent was coming from the direction of the well. He took off quickly, his feet carrying him lightly over the spring grasses. What the hell was she doing at the well? It was closed wasn't it?
A sheer moment of panic washed over him. What if she had decided to go back through the well. What if she was trying to? The fear gripped his chest like an anchor, pulling him down towards the pit of despair. Even the thought of her disappearing through the well was enough to send him into a panic.
Relief lifted the weight of the anchor when he was her raven locks rolling through the breeze, only to be weighed down again by panic when he was her legs dangling over the side of the well. The scent of her despair and salty tears made the air turn sour and he crinkled his nose a bit. Had she tried to go through the well only to find it closed?
"Kagome."
Kagome lifted her head a bit out of her hands. Her sobs stopped only to have them tug again at her again as she hiccuped. Inuyasha didn't know why she felt such despair but it ripped at both his demon and human hearts.
"Go…hic..away…hic…"
His breath hitched and he walked towards her. Every part of his brain, his doubt, his insecurity, and – dare he admit it – his fear of getting sat tugged him away, but still, his instincts told him to approach her.
When she heard his encroaching footsteps she snarled. "I said GO AWAY STUPID!"
"No." His answer was short as he came up behind her.
She whirled around and shoved against him. "GO AWAY!" she was near shrieking now.
"Why?" He tried to keep his voice calm, but her explosive anger made it difficult.
"Because I don't want to see you." Her hiccups had gone, but the sobs still scratched at her words.
"I don't care. I come back, try to see where the hell you are, and her you are sitting at the edge of that damned well trying to leave again. I ain't leaving you alone until you tell me what the hell you're doing!"
Kagome turned her head back to the base of the well. Tears began anew on her cheaks.
"Wondering if the well will open up for me again."
"Why the hell do you want that?" Inuyasha's voice came out more warry than angry.
She sighed. "I miss…love."
His anger gave way to confusion. "What the hell does that mean?"
She sounded exacerbated in her response. "Love Inuyasha! Love!"
"Feh…you have love here idiot!"
"Sure, calling me an idiot makes me feel loved!"
His eyes went wide for a moment but he chose to ignore her. "Sango, Rin, Kaede, the kit, hell, Miroku and the kids adore you. The whole village fawns over you. What the hell more do you want?"
She refused to look at him, opting instead to look at her hands.
"I miss feeling loved."
"What the hell did I just say? Everyone here loves you."
"Adoration is not love stupid."
Inuyasha rubbed his hand through his hair. Sure, get mad at me for calling you an idiot…
"You are the most appreciated person in the village. What more do you possible want?" He tried to be gentler with his question this time, but it didn't seem to help.
"I miss real love. The feeling you get. The intimacy, the closeness. I miss it."
A blush crept up onto Inuyasha's cheeks. Intimacy. Thoughts ran through his head so fast that he almost missed the conclusion. Intimacy. Kagome had been intimate…with someone?
"You've…had intimacy? With someone?"
She sighed. "No…not like that. Intimacy doesn't mean…that. It can simply mean connection, love, touch. I miss being touched." She could see he didn't understand. "My mom was always hugging me. Grandpa used to touch my shoulder, Souta used to brush past me most of the time, but it was always contact. Now people watch me like a china doll. I'm standing on a freaking pedestal, so valued that no one sees me as what I am...a woman that just wants love. And the men that do come to town that try to…well, you know…they aren't interested in me. Not really. They just want to say they have the purifier of Naraku as their wife."
Suitors had come to town on numerous occasions. Each time Inuyasha had wanted to swipe through them with tetsusaiga, but each time Kaede had waved him off. Kagome could handle herself she always said, Kagome knew better.
Not sure what else to do, Inuyasha reached out and touched her shoulder, pulling her gently back against him. Her body relaxed against him as he pulled her towards him. He held her there, unsure what else to do but simply hold her against him.
She tensed after a few minutes, pulling away from him. She scooted herself down the edge of the well, as if to try to get away from him. He furrowed his brows.
"You said you wanted touch. Now where the hell are you going?"
"Not like that!"
"What the hell was wrong with that?"
She raised her hands in frustration. "I want you to want to touch me!"
"What the hell does that matter! You wanted touch so I touched you!"
"But you didn't want to." Her voice quieted in her sadness.
"Feh…I don't do anything I don't want to do."
"Probably just wanted me to shut up and stop crying."
"No…I just." He growled. "What in kami's name makes you think I don't want to touch you?"
"I don't know idiot, maybe the past year? You know…the year where you literally have touched me only a handful of times? We used to touch all the time…now…you just don't want to have anything to do with me."
"Anything? Do you have any idea how stupid you sound right now wench?"
"Insults aren't helping idiot."
"Which is why you're insulting me."
"I'm insulting you because you did it first!"
"This isn't going anywhere. Kami damnit Kagome, just tell me what you want!"
"YOU!" She shouted at him, spinning on the well, her clear eyes sparkling with her tears. "You! I spent three years every day going to this stupid well hoping it would open! Literally every. Single. Day. I never left the city, I never went on trips, I stayed home, just in case today was the day the well reopened and I could see you again. I thought if I showed the well just how much I wanted to see you again, feel "you again, that it would let me through. It took three years and finally…FINALLY…after all of the effort, all the praying, all of the waiting and longing and crying and bargaining it let me see you again. And here I am, a year later, and you don't even want to touch me. Was kissing me so terrible….so disgusting…that you just can't think to do it again? Or do you just miss Kikyou so much that you don't want me? What the hell is wrong with me?"
Inuyasha was floored. He felt worse than he did when she sat him. He…hurt her.
"You really think I haven't touched you because I don't want you?"
Gentle cries racked her body again and her hiccups returned full force.
Growling he sat down next to her, pulling her up forcefully next to him. He rested his forehead against the side of her head next to her ear, breathing in the scent of her hair and neck. Even though the days of her fancy bath oils were over, her skin still smelled sweet with a hint of her own spice. It flared more when she was feisty or angry, but even now it still lingered on her skin.
"I'm not staying away from you because I don't want you. I've been staying away because I'm not good for you."
She shifted her head to meet his gaze. She leaned her forehead towards his, touching them together gently. She relaxed under his hands, for the first time in four years truly feeling the emotion in his touch the way she had when he had found her in the darkness.
"This last six months, since the incident with the no face, I've felt I was back in the darkness. I've been waiting for you and you haven't come for me."
He pulled back, looking into her soft tear filled eyes. "Wench…I've been right here."
"No you haven't." she lowered her gaze again, leaning forward to touch her forehead against his cheek. "Maybe you've been present, but…you haven't been with me. Not really. The way you held me, the way you kissed me…it made me feel like…I was the one that mattered. No one else. Just me."
"Feh." He paused, letting her stay tucked against his face, thinking of how to respond. "I had to go after you. I had to follow you."
She pulled away. Had to. She had always thought he wanted to go after her…not…had to. "Oh…"
"Not like that woman…its just…argh. I ain't good at this." He wanted to pull away, walk away, try to collect his thoughts but the weight of where they were tugged at him. They were literally on the edge of a precipice, if he left her now she may very well do everything she could to leave him. He just couldn't handle that. "I didn't have to come to you because of some kind of person forcing me. I had to because I knew…I knew I was here for you. The reason I was born Kagome…the reason everything happened. IT was to bring me to you. I was made for you. But I don't deserve you."
She lifted her hand, rubbing it gently across his cheek. She pulled herself closer to him. "What about Kikyou?"
"You ain't Kikyou."
"I get that…you made that very clear six months ago when you told me I wasn't as good of a miko as she was."
"That ain't what I said, don't put words in my mouth." He was growling low at her. He had the sudden urge to nip at her jaw, reprimand her, but he restrained. "You are twice the miko she was Kagome. She was good…she was focused…she cared and took her duty seriously. But she didn't love Kagome. You love. Everything about you screams love. You love everyone. You don't do what you do out of duty, you do it out of love." He paused, placing his hand over hers holding it to his cheek. He took the other, pressing her palm against his chest. "Kikyou would have done her duty. She would have protected the rest of the village, but not at the expense of herself. Not then. A no-face….there isn't much that can be done. They are so rare, they require a seal, and a kami damn strong one at that. She would have found a way to seal it, but she would have thought of the rest of the village in the long run. If she had pulled it off, run like you did, drawing it away and getting herself hurt, she couldn't protect them in the future. She would have been willing to let the family in that hut go if it meant protecting everyone in the future. But you…you, you love. You don't hesitate to sacrifice yourself for those you love. That's why you lived in the moment. I'm not saying she wasn't a great woman who would sacrifice herself if needed, but….she wouldn't have done it then. Not then. Not that way.
"The way the villagers speak of you…the way you are known in every town, every inn we visit makes me know how good you are. Everyone always speaks of your goodness. People love you in return. You are so loved Kagome that it hurts you don't know that.
"But I…I'm not. People appreciate me, that isn't really of question. But they don't love me. Not the way they do you. I am simply a hanyou that did a good thing. People don't see me as anything more than that. If they saw me with you…the way I want to be….then you would be tarnished. I can't do that. You are too good, too pure, too much, and I, I'm just a hanyou. I am not pure. I am selfish. I am unkind. I destroy things. I kill things. Yes, you, YOU wench, showed me friendship, happiness, love and caring. But I'm not you. I'm not as good as you, and I never will be. I will always taint you. That isn't fair to you…so I just thought. Kami, I thought that this is the one thing I can still do for you. Keep you safe from everything, both physical and…well…the words."
Kagome's eyes widened. "Do you….do you want me?"
"Wench, don't ask me that!" He shot up away from the well, running his hands through his hair.
"Do you want me?"
He stomped away across the clearing, unwilling to answer her.
"Inuyasha!" He stopped. "Do you want me or not?"
"Of course I do!" He was yelling. "More than I've ever wanted anything! You want to know what love is Kagome? You want to feel love? I watch over you every single night. Any time I'm away from the village I physically hurt. My skin burns and my soul feels weak. I literally cannot handle being away from you. It feels like a giant piece of me has been ripped away, and simply being in your presence again fills it. I NEED YOU Kagome. I NEED you. It isn't a want, it's a kami damned need."
He was growling and he could hear her whimper. She hung her head. He could see she still didn't believe him.
"I need you so badly that I will keep you in any way I can. If that means I have to stay away from you, to leave you untainted, to avoid hurting you, I will. You have no idea the fear I have of being close to you, the anxiety of it. I love you Kagome."
The doubt flowed through Kagome. She dropped her head back into her hands. "I just can't believe that. After a year….you've shown me nothing. No inclination. I just can't believe you love me."
Something snapped inside him and Inuyasha pulled Kagome roughly to her feet, smashing his mouth down on top of hers. A possessiveness took hold of him as he ravished her mouth. For all the pain she had felt she pushed back, deepening their kiss by wrapping her arms around his neck and holding his face to hers. Growling again Inuyasha ripped himself away just as quickly as he had come to her, leaping away from her.
Kagome was panting, her hand touching her lips. She wasn't sure what had just happened but she could see by his hunched expression he was ashamed. "I'm sorry."
"What the hell for wench?" His breathing had steadied quicker than hers had, but his heart still raced heating his blood and flushing his skin.
"You look…ashamed. I'm sorry, you just…you look so ashamed of me."
"Of you? Feh." He was growling again. "I ain't ashamed of you, I'm ashamed of me. I gave in."
Kagome stood, crossing the clearing to him. He backed away, trying to keep her at arms length, the fear of losing her crawling up his spine. Already he had been too close, too close to giving in, taking what he so badly wanted from her. He'd kissed her, let her kiss him, he'd been so close to just giving in.
"Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, we were kept apart because my duty here was done? My roll here was done?" Kagome's voice was gentle. She reached for him but he stepped back again. "Do that again and I'm going to sit you so far you'll end up in America."
Inuyasha stared at her. "It's a country…never mind. You'll find out in a few hundred years. Anyways. My job here was done, the crystal was gone. But it was my desire, my sincerest wish, to come back here. It a kami closed the well, it was because my job was done. But if the well was reopened, maybe, just MAYBE it was because of how much I wanted this. If the concern was that you would taint me so badly, why in the world would I have been able to come back?"
Inuyasha relented, letting Kagome come into him. She leaned against him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling herself against his chest. While she'd grown over four years, she still fit perfectly against his chest, her head nestling between his collar bones perfectly. He tensed for a moment but then gave in, putting his arms around her.
"My goodness comes from you. My spiritual powers are my own, but I would never be able to tap into them without the strength you give me. You, Inuyasha, are my anchor. Every single time I fire my bow I think of you. You are the center from which I draw my strength. You."
She reached up for him and he, for the first time that year, reached back. He placed his hands on either side of her face, pressing his forehead down against hers. "I didn't know."
"Because you're an idiot and think the worst of yourself."
Raising onto tiptoes she pressed herself tighter against him.
"I'd never lose my powers because of you, but if I did, I would rather not be a miko than lose you. After all this time, I was a little selfishness. I love you. I want you. For once in the world, can you just think about what I want?"
His golden eyes met her blue, and she rubbed her thumbs across his cheeks.
"And you…want to stay with me."
Her gentle kiss was his answer. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tighter to him.
He had no idea what the future held for them. He had no idea if this was okay. He had no idea if it wasn't. But right now she felt so good, so right, just as she was.
And that was all he wanted.
Picking her up, he tucked her in his arms. Pressing his lips against hers again he walked away from the well, leaving only their scent as a reminder that they had been there.
"Kagome."
She snuggled against his chest. "Hmmm?"
"Will you please not go to the well again?"
Pulling herself up to meet his lips again he had his answer.
So that's it! What did you think? Would appreciate the reviews!
I may make this the sequel to a greater series I plan to write. Let me know thoughts on whether this should continue and lead on!
In addition, I may add a little extension to this to Adult Fanfiction. Stay tuned!