Won't someone tell me what is happenin' to me
Why am I so misunderstood
Why can't they see
Now I'm caught between the devil and the angel
That I used to be
Arthur stared at his manservant again, one of the numerous times this week, he shook his head. What the devil was wrong with him? What even were these feelings that they had? Well he had. No he refused to tell anyone, they would misunderstand him possibly and highly likely laugh at him. Go 'Aww Arthur you don't know what love is yet' and they would ruffle his hair. Not that he was in love with that insufferable idiot. He was an absolutely pain in his royal arse. What would his father say? He used to be the perfect angel to his father, however now Merlin has come he's a very naughty little devil. God too much thoughts and too little mead.
They say I'll understand it all in good time
But age ain't nothin' but a number in my mind
Goin' crazy with this push me pull me
Caught between wrong and right
He was at dinner with his father, Morgana had already stormed off in a tantrum courtesy of him; when his father had asked him. 'Do you want to talk about it Arthur?' his father asked shocking Arthur. 'I'm not blind Arthur' and on that he spluttered on his drink. 'I really have no idea of what you mean' he gasped. 'Arthur everyone will understand in good time you're in love, at my age Arthur I can see the look of love a mile off'' his father said gently. Arthur nodded what his father had been indicating was right a girl he had fallen in love with but it was so dreadfully wrong. He was in love with Merlin and if it was so wrong why did it feel so right?
I wanna give in to the woman in me
I wanna be someone they don't want me to be
The moral of the story is I got no choice
I must not chase the boys
Arthur saw it in front of his eyes, as soon as he saw Merlin that day with his so called friend. What was he's name? God he looked argh stupid idiot going around with his Merlin. Idiot beyond bloody belief idiot idiot. Merlin's got a bloody nerve to ask him if he could bring his bloody chum to practice. He isn't even a bloody noble man. Merlin lied to him Merlin LIED to HIM. Merlin can't lie to save his own bloody life let alone get a bloody idiot into bloody knight practice. Bloody moron. Merlin should not chase boys because well it didn't look well on him for starters.
I started writing down my deepest secrets
7 days a week of truth and fantasy
Get the feeling that the way my life has
Got to be prepared for changes
God he needed to write down what he felt. Wait that made him sound like a girl. God. Have. Mercy. ''Where is my blasted diary'' I say teeth clenched. Arthur hadn't needed it since he was seven. Bloody hell this blasted room not a damn thing is where you've put it. God the idiot can't keep my room tidy for once when aha here it is in his bloody sock draw. Since when has is been in there? Now I'm going to sit here and write down everything because apparently this helps the mind. God poor Merlin when Gauis lectures him.
Won't someone tell me what is happenin' to me
Why am I so misunderstood
Why can't they see
Now I'm caught between the devil and the angel
That I used to be
God this thing is eating him from inside out. What the bloody hell is happening to me? God he felt it every time the lovable moron smiled and god help him when he was dressed by him. This is never going to work it's forbidden it's wrong. But it's not because he loves him and he definitely knows it's love because he's heart swells every time he sees him and he can hardly breathe when he looks at him. It must be love because it's so beautiful. It's like he would be a devil if he would go through with it but if he didn't and let it pass (while his heart broke) then he would be a angel. How is any of this fair?
I wanna give in to the woman in me
I wanna be someone they don't want me to be
The moral of the story is i got no choice
I must not chase...
Knight Practice focus. He kept telling himself as he saw Morgana's maid and Merlin dress that complete and utter twat. Breathe ''One... Two... Three...Four'' he calls to his knights and he must turn or other wise he'd be staring and please god don't stare. And repeat. God he really can't stand it time for Merlin to get away now. ''That's it for today... Well done.'' If he looks up now Merlin would be in his sights and he must and he does. However the sight is less than pleasant ''yes'' he says arrogantly. ''Lancelot fifth son of .Lord Eldred of Northumbria'' ahhh so that was his name. ''Lancelot my servant mentioned you'' he could even in his own voice; detects that he doesn't sound pleased with that. God he even bows thank god Merlin doesn't do that, this is a good chance, one blow and he'll be down on the floor. Perfect hit even if he does say so himself. Then the complete and utter twat challenges him and god the guy really must stop giving him opportunities to show him up. Everyone knows that the Prince given the chance and maybe not the chance will show everyone up. It's way too fun. ''You are are you? Fine you can start by cleaning out the stables.'' God way too easy. Merlin really must get someone harder or just him. Damn those thoughts!
I wanna go left
But they tell me go right
Don't wanna be the little girl
They kiss me good night
The moral of the story is i got
no choice
I must not chase the boys
They tell him many times that two boys were wrong, they also tell him to have his way with some of the serving girls or whatever but he always let them make the first move. He had no choice but to forget and get on with it. He was the Prince, this is his duty. For him there simply isn't no choice but obligation and duty, those have been drilled into him since he was born. Keep up the faith, the pretense if need be. Choice was a thing for free people, he was anything but free.
Lancelot wasn't easy but he wasn't hard either. He had much to learn. He'd give him that at least, however he was too easily provoked a couple of choice words and he was ready to fight. He didn't like the saying 'don't mess around with your food' it wasn't much fun. Besides Lancelot would learn his place. Lancelot should remember he landed the first blow. Yep. However then that Griffin or whatever attacked and that soon left his mind as he sprinted to the courtyard. Only one thing apart from Camelot was Merlin please be safe.
They could try to make me write a thousand lines
But that won't ever change the way i feel inside
They got their opinions but i just don't care
Cause that's not what I wanna hear
God here he was sitting in his chambers writing reports. ''To make you ready for being King Arthur, think of that instead of your love'' his father had said. Bullshit. He could do a hundred thousand lines and he would never forget Merlin. Only think of him more, which is currently what he was doing now. All those opinions could go to hell, their opinions weren't what he wanted to hear. Only his manservant and lover currently tucked up in his bed.
I I must I must not chase the boys
I I must I must not chase the boys
I must I must I must not chase...the boys
He had known of course he had known but to have it confirmed hurt. Merlin had lied he was supposed to be here about Lancelot; a new friend. Why had Merlin lied to him? There must be a reason, please he thought, God have mercy upon his soul. He stood up for Lancelot however his father had ignored him. One thing that his father said though ran true ''How could you trust someone who had lied to you?'' Merlin had lied.
''Why?'' he asked the man standing across from him. A chair wisely separated them; he could have killed the idiot for lying. ''I don't understand Sire'' Merlin replied confused. ''You never do though Merlin, you told me he was a noble, you lied to my face. Why? How could you betray my trust in you for a man you didn't even know well enough then?'' he shouted his heart tearing himself apart. ''Because the first law of Camelot is wrong. He deserves to be a knight as much as you or the others'' Merlin told him calmly. ''Merlin he is a fraud'' Arthur grabbed him pushing him onto the chair. Merlin struggled but Arthur struggled to understand ''peasants deserve to be knights as much as Knights, many are more noble than the noble people that sit along your table. That grace your halls and corridors'' Merlin breathed before pushing Arthur off him and heading to the door. ''Where are you going?'' Arthur spat turning around sharply. ''To visit Lancelot Goodnight Arthur'' Merlin answered.
I wanna give in to the woman in me
I wanna be someone they don't want me to be
The moral of the story is i got no choice
I must not chase...
Oh God steel and sinew is not enough this time. This ride will be my last until the one to Avalon. Please let Merlin find happiness if I go; he is too brilliant to be lonely. The feel of his lips are still on mine, can feel the tears that I have wiped away from his face. His duty sucks; he would have loved to have answered Merlin's begs of not to go with a nod and a kiss, be able to loose himself in him. Here he stands before the Griffin if this is how I'm going to die then I'm going down fighting.
I wanna go left
But they tell me go right
Don't wanna be the little girl
They kiss me good night
The moral of the story is i got no choice
I must not chase...
...the boys
Merlin was right, the first law of Camelot was wrong. That is the thing I'm going to do when I am King. Summon Lancelot back to Camelot and restore his Knighthood. Sir Lancelot. Merlin was right that a peasant is more noble than a noble Lord could ever be, if only you looked hard enough. ''I thought I was going to loose you'' Merlin admitted tracing patterns on his sides. ''You nearly did'' he whispered back. ''Merlin if I was ever to die, make sure you find happiness in another person. You're are too fantastic and wise to die a lonely and sad man Merlin. Promise?'' he asked. Merlin looked torn ''I'll try if it helps, but I can never promise that'' Merlin told him kissing his temples.