"Sometimes I think about the past. My therapist says I shouldn't, that I'm not ready yet. I do. I think about you mostly. The times we had together, but mostly about you in general; how you looked, how you felt against me," I chuckled, shaking my head as I sat on the cold, crunchy ground. I could imagine my stepfather rolling in his grave as I got the seat of my designer jeans dirty, I didn't really care though.

"But what I remember most is your smell, and I sometimes still smell it if I stand still enough." I picked at the grass in front of me. "I miss having you there, waiting for me to come home like a puppy waiting for its master. No matter how late I was, you were right there, waiting for me in the living room. I had even found you on the welcome mat, fast asleep, waiting for me to come home." I felt a small smile linger on my lips as the wind rustled around me. I looked up, watching as a relatively large gold and yellow butterfly landed on my nose, and I let out a breathy laugh.

"It's too cold for you to be out here…" I murmured softly, getting up slowly and closing the butterfly between two cupped hands. I opened the door, setting the butterfly onto the heated leather seats. I grabbed your favorite body pillow and picnic basket first before gently shutting the door. I stared at the pillow longingly, remembering when I bought it for you.

"Hey Seto, what's that?"

"It's a body pillow…" I say, looking at the tall blonde man in front of me.

"What's it fer?"

"It's "Fer" you."

"Yes, I deduced that, why?"

"I'm almost never here, so I thought I would give you something to cling to…" I was interrupted by getting tackled.

"I love you, Seto." He murmurs in my ear, and I smile softly, leaning up and kissing his cheek.

"I love you too, puppy."

I reveled in the past as I walked back, sighing and collapsing in front of your gravestone, clinging to the pillow.

"What in the hell has gotten into me? I'm lying in front of a tombstone, clinging to your old body pillow. Maybe my therapist was right." I turned to the cursed piece of stone, staring at it for a moment. My eyes lingered over to the picnic basket, pulling out a cupcake with a candle on it. My fingers lingered on the icing as I spoke, my head down.

"I miss you, so much. It hurts so much to have you gone…" I pulled out a lighter, lighting the single, golden candle, putting it on the ground, covering it with a tall, clear plastic cup with the bottom cut out, for a shield against the wind. I stared at the flame, my heart string getting tugged at as I wiped away unshed tears. I lightly fingered the hiragana on the memorial, chuckling as I remembered that he wanted to have Japanese on his memorial stone in New York City, and English on his Memorial stone in our home city of Domino Japan. He always opted to be different.

Here lies Katsuya Jounouchi

Beloved friend, lover, and puppy

May he rest in peace

"Damn it Jou, I miss you so much. It hasn't been the came since you left. I didn't want you to go…." I trailed off, resting my head on the cold stone. I sat there for what seemed like hours, staring at the candle on the cupcake, letting tears slide down my face. I straightened up, smiling softly.

"Happy Birthday, Jounouchi-koi." I whispered softly, leaning down and softly kissing the tombstone. "Make a wish."

I watched as the flame flickered and danced and, despite the wind barrier, blew out. I couldn't hold back the smile as I made my way to my feet. I brushed myself off, gathering everything and walking to the car.

I opened the door, watching as the butterfly flew out of the car and into the moonlit shy. I put everything back into the car, and leaned against the car door when I was finished, staring at the gravestone as the butterfly landed on it.

"I love you, Jou." I murmured as I made my way into the car. "Until next time." I started the car and began to make my way out of the cemetery.