Does this fanfic writer proofread? No! Does she use the same phrases over and over? Hell yes! Did she realize she knows jack about Star Trek technology and Space Alcohol while writing this? Also hell yes! But are you going to enjoy reading her story anyway? Find out!

"Nyota, we can't drink that. Put it back."

"Why not? You're off-duty, and there's no patients in here. It's just us."

Christine sighed. "It's not that. I mean, no, I don't think we should be drinking in Med Bay, on the clock or off, but that isn't what I meant. That's Dr. McCoy's booze cupboard. If you have so much as a drop on my watch, it's my funeral."

"'Booze cupboard'?" Uhura took a step back and theatrically looked the cupboard up and down. "All of this is Dr. McCoy's? Every bottle? How much booze does one man need? If I didn't know better, I'd say he has a problem, keeping all this alcohol in a medical office. Alcohol for drinking, that is."

"He doesn't drink all of it by himself. The captain visits often. Mr. Spock as well."

"This is where Captain Kirk goes every day when he leaves the bridge? I thought he was off, oh, I don't know... supervising operations around the ship. Working somewhere."

"Hm. Think again."

Uhura chuckled, studying unlabeled green bottle in her hand. "Well, if he shares it with the Captain and Mr. Spock, he shouldn't mind sharing it with us as well."

Christine silently watched, lips pursed, as Uhura plunked two stemmed glasses onto the desk and began pouring from the heavy bottle. The drink inside turned out to be bright blue. "I suppose there's no point telling you I don't want any?"

"No arguing. Just drinking." Smiling, Uhura slid one of the glasses in front of Christine. "And listening. I've learned a couple new songs. You can be my test audience." After quickly downing half her cup, she went to pick up the Vulcan lyre leaning against the wall. "Go on, Christine, try the Mystery Liquid."

Reluctantly, Christine took a sip.

"How's your life of crime taste, Christine?" Uhura chuckled.

"This is a bit stronger than what I usually get. But other than that, it's pretty good." She set down the glass. "Play me a song?"

For a moment Uhura didn't respond, busy plucking the strings while fiddling with the tuning knobs, matching the twangs to her hums. "Yes... I've just got to... Ah. There we go. All right." She adjusted the instrument in her lap. "I've got a good one. I think you'll really like this one. It's classical, but the lyrics sound almost modern. I'd actually never heard it before I stumbled across it in the computer memory banks. But it's a fun one. My kind of song." Clearing her throat, she straightened up and positioned her fingers on the strings, using her long, polished fingernails as a pick.

Smiling, Christine picked up her PADD and began flipping through some unfinished paperwork. Nyota pulled a mock offended face. 'I'm listening! I like it!' Christine mouthed back before turning back to her work.

"I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars

I am a satellite, I'm out of control

I'm a-"

Uhura abruptly stopped playing. "Damn, I thought I had this song memorized! I'm a rocket ship, I'm a satellite, I'm a... I'm a what!? I should know this; I listened to the song about a hundred times the night I discovered it." She groaned in frustration.

"For what it's worth, I liked what I heard. Why don't you play another song until you remember the rest of this one?"

"I can't sing now. That one darn lyric is bothering me too much. I remembered it an hour ago..."

"Oh. Well. Sorry. Whenever you're ready, I'm all ears." Christine took another throat-burning drink of the blue alcohol.

"Make sure you go easy on that stuff, Teen, you are a bit of a lightweight. Remember the Christmas party?"

Shooting her friend an annoyed glance, Christine scoffed. "I am not a lightweight. Just because I tried to dance on a table at a party doesn't mean I couldn't handle my alcohol. Maybe I just wanted to have a good time like everyone else. That's not so crazy. And did you just call me 'Teen'?"

Uhura chuckled. "Yeah, I was trying out a new nickname. Guess it's not gonna work out."

Christine shook her head vigorously.

Sighing, Uhura leaned back. "Well, I tried. And, well, Chris-tine, hate to break it to you, but table dancing at a work party is not something a sober person would consider."

Flushing pink, Christine flicked her hand dismissively and looked back at the forms, half-listening to Uhura lightly pick out some tune. Both women sat quietly for a while.

Christine finally spoke."That's pretty, Nyota. I wish I could play a musical instrument. I haven't the talent for it."

"Anyone can learn. It isn't a matter of talent, really, just practice. You could ask Spock to teach you to play the lyre sometime. He was happy to teach me. Well, not happy exactly, it is Spock we're talking about, but, you know... willing. Ask him next time you see him. Or I could ask him for you."

"No! I mean, no, thank you, it's fine. I- I don't need to learn- I don't have the time- I just..." Christine trailed off. Redness creeped up her neck.

Uhura's lips tightened as if she were holding back a smile. "Oh well, suit yourself."

Christine ran her hand through her platinum blonde hair. "Sorry, I'm not trying to be rude..."

Smiling, Uhura placed her hand over her friend's. "Really, it's fine. There's no need to apologize. You say that word 'sorry' far too often."

"Sorry. Oh, I said it again- Sorry! Oh!"

The two women dissolved into laughter. Turning off the PADD, Christine cleared her throat and began refilling her glass. "Isn't Mr. Spock on duty? I mean- I- I think he might be- I don't know, I don't pay attention- I mean, well, he is, right?" She became very focused on taking a long drink.

"Huh? Oh, yes, he is- 'SEX MACHINE!'"

A shower of alcohol splattered across the table as Christine hacked and gasped for breath. Uhura stood up and thumped her back.

"Are you all right?!"

Still coughing, Christine tried to answer, but could only manage a weak nod. She took another drink to try to clear her airway.

Reaching for her own glass, Uhura chuckled and shook her head. "I'm sorry about that. I should've given some warning. 'Sex machine'- that's the lyric I couldn't remember from that song. 'I'm a sex machine ready to reload. I wasn't calling Mr. Spock a sex machine, can you imagine?" She threw her head back and squealed in delighted laughter at the thought. "Actually, never mind, yeah, I can sort of image it! And I do, frequently!" She chuckled into her glass as she downed some more.

"Nyota!" Christine hissed. "I think you've had enough!"

"I don't think you've had enough!" Uhura retorted.

"At least lower your voice! And you have the nerve to call me a lightweight!"

"I'M A SEX MACHINE, READY TO RELOAD! LIIIKE AN ATOM BOMB..." Lieutenant Uhura interrupted her belting with another sip.

A curious face appeared in the doorway. "What's going on? Who's a sex machine?" the smiling young man asked.

"Mr. Spock!" Uhura replied, raising her glass as if she were giving a toast.

"Oo-kay then..." the amused ensign said. "I'm just gonna go..." Shaking his head, he walked out of sight past the doorway.

Her face bright red, Christine shouted after him, "She didn't mean it! I wasn't saying any of that! She's joking! Nobody's calling anyone a sex machine!" When no reply came, Christine huffed and plunked back into her chair. "Thanks, Nyota."

A few seconds went by before Uhura stopped shaking with laughter. "I'm just teasing you," she reassured Christine. "He knows I was only playing around."

"Maybe you could 'play around' a little more quietly, or when the doors are closed."

"Alright, but there's no fun in that." Uhura began casually playing the melody of the old folk song again. "So, anyways, why were you asking if Spock's working?"

"Oh, I was curious about when he lent you the lyre."

"The lyre? He didn't exactly lend it to me; I got it from his room."

Christine gasped. "You stole it?"

Uhura chuckled. "No, of course I didn't steal it. I borrowed it. I'm sure he wouldn't mind me using it. He trusts me. Don't worry, I do this all the time."

"You steal all the time?!"

"No, Christine... borrow. You're behaving strangely right now..."

Christine ignored her friend's observation. "You stole Dr. McCoy's drink, and you stole Spock's lyre! We're going to get in so much trouble when they find out!"

Uhura grimaced. "You know, most people act happy and have fun when they're a bit tipsy."

Breathing heavily, Christine buried her face in her hands. "This is bad, this is very bad, they're going to be so mad at me."

With a baffled and concerned expression, Uhura quickly stood up, put down the instrument, and began gathering up the glasses. "Hey, Christine, look, see, I'm clearing the table, we'll put everything back, we'll bring the lyre back to Spock's room before his shift ends. Nobody will have to know we used anything, and nobody will be mad at you, okay? I promise." Uhura wrapped her arms comfortingly around the panicking Christine. "C'mon, I'll help you up."

The hallways were relatively uncrowded. When they reached Spock's quarters, they waited until the corridor was empty before hurrying through the doors.

"Alright, I found it here leaning against his bed." Uhura put down the lyre. "See? There we go. Right where it belongs. No harm done."

Christine looked around nervously. "Nyota, let's go, we shouldn't be in here."

The sound of the doors sliding open made both women nearly jump through the ceiling.

Leave a comment or review, please! Thanks for reading!

(I might go back and edit this chapter to fix any mistakes sometime when I'm not feeling lazy.)