I sat at a small table in the hovercraft with Finnick and pressed my forefingers onto my temples, trying to think.
"I can't do this Finnick," I said. "Not yet. I can't think, I can't reason, I don't know what I'm doing, I can't even speak properly. It's doing my head in. I just need to get out there and do something!" I wasn't one to complain, but I had enough to complain about at this point. I had been through hell and back twice in the arena, my District was burned to ashes, I had been close to death and Snow was trying to kill me. Them taking Peeta and traumatizing him set off the spark inside me that became a flame I couldn't control. I couldn't let them hurt Peeta; they'd already killed his family.
"Katniss," Finnick said, grabbing my wrists in his hands to calm me down. "No one is forcing you to make an on the spot decision. Take the time to think over it."
"I'm not complaining about making my mind up on the spot. I'll be the Mockingjay; but on my terms. I just want them to let me do it." My voice raised into a growl. "Finnick, they need to let me do it. I need to do this. I feel like it's the only way to release all this," I gestured largely with my hands. "this…this anger!"
My breathing was ragged and my brows furrowed. I narrowed my eyes at the table and had to bite my tongue to hold in the curdling screams that threatened to escape my throat.
Finnick looked thoroughly concerned. A vicious and angry teenage girl who knew how to kill wasn't the best kind of person to rev up.
"Katniss, how about we go to the weaponry room later, get your bow, maybe a gun, whatever you need, and take it onto the training grounds to release some anger?"
I didn't look up from the table.
"Katniss," he pushed. "I know how you're feeling. I had the same thing with Annie. She isn't the same as she was before the Games, she never will be, but I still love her all the same."
Finally, I looked up at him. His eyes were full of concern and he was completely serious.
"Finnick, please. Convince them."
He looked at me with a hollow expression as I continued to speak.
"I need, want to kill Snow."