Nineteen Ninety– Chapter One
DISCLAIMER: I do not own APH; no, not even in my dreams.
What do I owe to you,
Who loved me deep and long?
You never gave my spirit wings,
Or gave my heart a song.
But oh, to him I loved,
Who loved me not at all,
I owe the open gate
That led through heaven's wall.
- Sara Teasdale
"Brother, I've been thinking," Natalia peered over the top of her almost empty tea cup, fixing her gaze on said older sibling. Ivan, who was sitting at the other end of the weathered kitchen table, set down his newspaper.
"Da, Natasha?" The Belarusian's heart warmed a bit at the utterance of her pet name.
"A spring wedding would be lovely, don't you think?" She smiled, happily day-dreaming of the proposed event. "It's almost Aprli, and the snow should be gone by …" Natalia trailed off.
Her older brother's face had paled, his hands balled up into fists. The newspaper was crumpled in his grip. This irked her, just a little. Why did Ivan always get like this whenever she talked of their inevitable union? It was like he was afraid or something.
Ridiculous, she complained silently.
Natalia opened her mouth to question Ivan's hesitation, but was interrupted by the unwelcome entrance of one of the Baltic nations; Toris, to be exact.
Not him again!
Natalia bristled - just her luck that he would walk in on her and Ivan together. Toris seemed to sense her animosity.
"Atsiprašau," Toris apologized as he crossed the room. "I-I'll just be grabbing the matches…really quick." His eyes were downcast, glued to the floorboards. Natalia did notice, however, that they would flicker towards her every now and then.
Ivan's demeanor, in the meantime, brightened ten-fold.
"Firewood!" he exclaimed. "We need firewood! I'll go chop some, da?"
Natalia's already present frown deepened. "Vanya, its springtime; we don't need anymore."
"Nyet, nyet," he waved away her protestations. "That General Winter is a tricky one, da? Always vigilant, he is! Always waiting for me to drop my guard…" Then the tall nation left the kitchen muttering something about "sneak attacks."
Both Toris and Natalia watched Ivan as he exited, one with longing, the other with apprehension. They both remained motionless until the sound of the slamming front door reverberated through-out the door; life resumed.
Toris caught her eye for a moment as he turned back to the kitchen cabinets, a small apologetic smile on his lips.
Natalia's scowl was always ready to retaliate in an instance such as this; she flashed the Lithuanian her darkest, nastiest look, and stood up.
Apology, not accepted.
Toris was still searching for that elusive box of matches as Natalia stalked out into the hallway, absolutely livid that her brother's subordinate had ruined her moment…again.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
With Ivan out in the woods and all, she didn't really have that much to do. Natalia spent at least an hour wandering aimlessly through the halls of her brother's expansive house. She'd spend ten minutes lounging in one room, then move to the next.
Natalia was not looking at the next few weeks with optimism; she'd only just arrived at Ivan's house three days ago. Spring at her place tended to be a lonely time, so Natalia spent about a month at her older brother's home each year. Not even a week into her stay, and she was already terribly bored.
Lying on unused beds, sitting in the library with nothing to do; she despised it. The other nations present in the house picked up on Natalia's mood. They had the good sense (coupled with wishes of self-preservation) to avoid her at any cost. Or, at least, Eduard and Raivis did.
Natalia found herself running into Toris every other hour, but whether it was by coincidence or by design she had no way of knowing. The latter was the most likely, in her opinion.
Finally, she found an old issue of Pravda, hiding in-between the sitting room bookcase and the wall. Relaxing on the soft couch, Natalia amused herself by flipping through page after page of dated articles and old propaganda. She had probably managed to read the entire thing, cover to cover, at least ten times before Ivan returned home. The Russian had dragged countless cords of useless wood back from his short expedition, and no sooner had the front door slammed was dinner set out on the table.
OoOoOoOoOoOoO
Dinner that night was borscht; it was quite good, actually. Not that Natalia was going to say anything about it. She busied herself by stirring some sour cream into the red soup, trying to coax Ivan into conversation as she did so.
As usual, her brother tried his hardest to give Natalia one worded responses, like "da", or "nyet". Then he would turn his attention back to preaching at the Baltics, who were sitting opposite him. Toris held Ivan's interest in particular.
Natalia sent a vicious glare in the green-eyed nation's direction.
Durny ubliudok; who does he think he is, stealing all of Ivan's attention?
Although to be honest, Toris did look a little uncomfortable being the ear to Ivan's ramblings. She glanced at his brothers; Eduard was just quietly picking at his food, ignoring everything around him. Farthest from her was Raivis, shaking uncontrollably as always.
Natalia's resentment grew throughout the meal until a nasty, cold-feeling knot had formed in her gut. Eventually, Ivan excused himself to his study and the three Baltics were consumed with the post-meal clean up; Raivis was walking past her carrying a ridiculously huge tower of bowls and plates.
Watching with dark fascination, Natalia thought, he's going to drop them, no doubt. Niazhrabny nievuk! No sooner had the Belarusian thought this, it came true. Raivis, being his unlucky self, had managed to trip over his own feet and send the entire pile of chinaware crashing to the floor. Shards of broken plates and bowls now littered the kitchen.
"Oh, Raivis…" Eduard shook his head, expression grim.
"Atvainojiet, atvainojiet!" the tiny nation sputtered. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to! It was an accident."
Toris peeled off to find a broom and a dustpan, his face twisted in fear, as Eduard tried to help his sibling clean up the nasty mess he'd gotten himself into.
Natalia watched, transfixed by the awful spectacle, as the three nations panicked completely. Any illusion of calm that had been present before slipped away with the seconds that passed.
Should…should I help them?
She remained immobile. And worse still, Toris had just returned from the pantry with the broom when –
"What happened here?"
Everyone froze, joining Natalia in horrified silence. Every head in the kitchen turned to the source of the deadly sounding voice.
Ivan stood in the doorway, filling every gap, crushing any hope of escape. The noise of breaking china must have summoned him from his study.
"What. Happened. Here?" He asked again, voice hushed. Anger seethed beneath the childishly happy tone that the Russian always spoke in. The playful light was fading from his amethyst eyes, turning them dark – the situation was quickly becoming dangerous.
Raivis was shaking so violently, Natalia was astounded that he didn't fall to pieces -literally.
The quivering teen lifted himself off the floor with concerted effort, away from the spot where he'd been collecting china shards with his bare hands.
"I – I'm the one at fault," he stammered. "Mr. Braginski…"
Ivan nodded slowly, raising his closed fist high in the air. It looked like he was going to hit the small Latvian.
He's not really going to, is he? He can't! Natalia tried to register what was happening in front of her. It was almost surreal. The entire ordeal didn't match up the spotless image of Ivan she had in her head. Should I step in?
"Sustoti!" Natalia turned towards the direction of the shout. Toris?
The Lithuanian stepped bravely forward. "Stop," he repeated. "Don't hurt Raivis, Mr. Braginski, prašom. It was my fault." His head was held high, but he was visibly unsettled. "I shouldn't have let him try to carry so many dishes at once."
Toris took a shaky breath. "Punish me instead," he said so quietly, Natalia almost didn't hear him. Raivis made a small, pained sound, and Eduard closed his eyes, clasping his hands tightly.
What kind of punishment? She couldn't help but wonder. Because, judging by the reactions of the other two Baltics, it wasn't very good.
Ivan stood still, a contemplative look on his face. The fist was still high in the air, hanging like a frozen pendulum. "Da," he finally ceded, arm lowering, eyes softening. "Go wait for me in my room."
Room? Why…then it dawned on her. Boža moj…
Her hands grabbed and clenched the hem of her sweater uncontrollably. Natalia felt nauseous, more so than ever in her entire existence. She thought about saying something, but realized that would just make the situation worse.
Toris left the room, each step looking like a tremendous effort. But before he disappeared out of sight completely, Natalia caught the look that he gave the back of Ivan's head. Hate, and fear. Both were present in the Lithuanian's green eyes. There was no way to describe the peculiar mix of emotions that Natalia was feeling then.
But, Toris…I thought that he was the one keeping me from my brother?
Yes, he still was, she figured. But now Natalia knew a crucial little detail that had escaped her before; it wasn't with consent that Toris let Ivan administer his affections.
Ivan was busy lecturing Raivis about the plates, as Eduard cleaned up. Little Raivis looked close to tears, and Eduard was picking up the sharp fragments of chinaware. He didn't even care that the porcelain shards were lacerating his hands. And Toris…
It was at that moment exactly, watching Ivan's horrible display of power, that Natalia got an idea.
OoOoOoOoOoOoO
Natalia lay in bed, not even an hour later, thinking. She had to admit, she was rather impressed with the ingenuity of her own plan; but she was also caught in a dilemma of the "ethical-moral" sorts.
The sounds of Toris's punishment emanated throughout the house. Natalia heard every word, every protestation, and every gasp. If these sounds reached her ears, than surely they reached Eduard and Raivis's as well.
She had never been witness to Ivan's discipline of the Baltic's before. Sure, Natalia had been the ear to Ivan's complaints about them, but she had never seen nations who were so utterly terrified of their superior. Not like that.
It wasn't in Natalia's nature to be sympathetic, but she couldn't help feeling pity for the three nations; the one paying a night visit to her brother in particular. The fact that it was Ivan, so loved and adored, who was causing Toris to emit such noises set her at unease. Had she not known the circumstances of their…lovemaking…Natalia would have been infuriated.
Even still, it was taking all of her will power not to charge down the hallway and stop it. But was it for Toris, or for Ivan? Natalia hated to admit it to herself, but she didn't know the answer. The Belarusian argued back and forth with herself for what seemed like an eternity, but in the end….
She stayed in bed.
She should've done something. Sure, Toris wasn't her most favorite person in the world, but…
What if it was you? The tiny, almost mute voice living in the back of her mind constantly berated her.
It took Natalia a while to finally fall asleep; slumber had to contend with the echoes of forced affection coming from not fifteen feet away, as well as the whispering voiced playing tug of war in her head.
DICTIONARY:
Atsiprašau - sorry in Lithuanian
Prašom - please
Sustoti - stop
Da + Nyet - yes + no in Russian
Durny ubliudok - stupid bastard in Belarusian
Niazhrabny nievuk - clumsy ignoramus
Boža moj - oh my God
(A/N) I can write again! After half a year of possessing no working word program, I have once again returned to . The internet cannot portray the euphoria I am experiencing. This is my first APH work, and I hope I have captured the characters that I have come to adore. Have no fear of criticizing, for I will take it with the intention to learn… as long as it is constructive.
In case you haven't figured it out, this story is going to be about Lithuania and Belarus. Not so much Latvia and Estonia (sorry). I use their human names, because to me it seems more authentic that way.
I researched just about as much as I possibly could to make this fanfic as historically and technologically accurate as possible. I also apologize for any error in the translations (I just plugged them into that thing on Google).
If you have any questions, please leave them in a review or a PM. Thanks!
Sorry for the long author's note…*hangs head in shame.*
Now, click the review button and receive a metaphorical cookie for doing so!
Tune in next time, - V.o.t.s.