Maybe This Will Help

Kankuro didn't breathe.

For a year he'd been slowly growing accustomed to his younger brother's violent fits and inward struggles to contain the hatred his demon harboured. And still it kept him up at night when the usually stoic, self-assured teen struggled in a bed he doesn't need with thoughts that aren't his own.

"Gaara?"

Kankuro didn't really know what he was thinking when he opened his brother's door without knocking, or when he got involved with the nightmares his teacher had told him not to even think of. Gaara's deadpan eyes locked on his older brother's tired form.

He should have been furious. Had he done this when he had let Shukaku roam free in his head, he would be dead. Surely. But the look on his brother's face wasn't one of annoyance, or of inconvenience. His knotted brow and creased lip radiated concern. His brother was worried.

"Did I wake you?"

Kankuro shook his head. "I couldn't sleep, anyway."

He took a step forward, looking to Gaara for conformation that he wouldn't be killed if he continued. Gaara nodded.

"Do you want company?"

Gaara thought about that for a moment. No one had ever really wanted to keep him company. He looked at the floor in concentration. When he lifted his head to look at Kankuro, the brunette cocked an eyebrow.

"Did Baki send you?" Gaara's voice was cold.

Kankuro shook his head, smirking and sitting beside his brother. "No, you just seemed like you needed your brother."

It was Gaara's turn to cock his non-existent eyebrow. He'd never needed Kankuro before. What could he possibly do to ease the pain of a vengeful demon eating at the sanity he held very fragilely from a thin string due to break at any moment. Kankuro could see the questions start to bubble in his little brother's brain.

"I meant, maybe you wanna talk about it?" He explained.

"No."

"Oh… well, I guess I could talk instead. I haven't told you about the time I single handily completed an A ranked mission in one afternoon, have I?"

Gaara had heard this story many times. It wasn't very interesting, but the way Kankuro delivered it with such pride and enthusiasm made him engaged, though just as confused. The mission was nothing more than intel recovery, but the way his brother jumped up and acted out every move he had made on the mission was entertaining.

Kankuro was exhausted. Gaara's struggle had kept him awake every night this week, and although the odd two hours of sleep was awarded to him after training and when Gaara was away, he'd only really had six to seven hours sleep the whole week. Every move he made pulled on his muscles and he wrestled with his legs to stay standing. He didn't understand why Gaara couldn't sleep, even though Baki had explained it many times. His father hadn't explained it as much, though he offered an example when he'd ordered Yashamaru to kill Gaara. He didn't know what else had happened then, but he knew what happened when Gaara lost control. That's why he had to stay awake. That's why Kankuro stayed up.

No one should have to struggle like this alone.

Especially his little brother.

"Kankuro, you're falling asleep," Gaara pointed out flatly, his gaze on the older boy beside him. "Go to bed."

Kankuro hadn't realised he'd stopped talking, and his obvious confusion made Gaara stand in front of him with his arms crossed over his chest. "Kankuro."

He offered a lop-sided grin to his younger brother, scratching his head. "I don't want to sleep just yet. Why don't we go for a walk?"

Gaara was confused for what felt like the hundredth time that night. Why was Kankuro so determined to stay awake when he was obviously going to collapse any second? He knew that in the last year the two brother's were closer than they've ever been, but something inside Gaara told him that they were still so far apart somehow. As his brother tottered along the sandy footpath along the edge of the Kazekage mansion that they were allowed to stay in despite the death of their father, Gaara felt uneasy at the thought that he might collapse or trip on the uneven path. He readied his sand, though found himself focusing on Kankuro's face. He was concentrated, though also distant. Whatever the reason for his strange will to accompany him through another sleepless night, Gaara appreciated it. His brother was definitely trying, and that was more than enough to make him happy.

"Gaara?"

He gave his brother his full attention, and when he noticed he had stopped, Gaara did the same.

"I've been thinking… how does it feel to never sleep? Do you ever get tired?"

Gaara frowned. Kankuro knew that Shukaku's chakra aided him in his endless consciousness.

Kankuro shook his head. "I mean, do you ever get sick of it? Always being aware of everything, of him. Never getting a break…"

Gaara stared at his brother. He understood.

Kankuro was pitying him.

Gaara wanted to be angry, but when Kankuro looked away when he didn't get an answer, he sighed. They continued on.

"I don't know. I've never known anything else. Maybe if I knew what it was like to never hear him, I would long for it. Right now, I'm too used to it for it to bother me."

Kankuro nodded. He looked up at the dust-filled sky, pulled up by a man up ahead with a broom and a hunch. When Gaara had stopped, though, Kankuro was on edge. He looked at Gaara's frown, then followed his gaze to the man in front of them.