The flutter of bird wings woke her up out of a moderately pleasant dream. The air smelt of burning wood, teenage sweat and dirt but also the faintest trace of wildflowers. She didn't know when she'd gotten used to the smell, but she had. She was officially associating all the odors- good or bad- with home. Somewhere, deep, deep in the back of her mind she knew that it was probably too good to be true but everything seemed to be operating smoothly. Being a leader was going good, okay, a co-leader. She hated to say it but Bellamy was a blessing in disguise as a total jackass. Seriously, without him they'd probably be dead. She knew for a fact that she would be dead.

Bellamy- god, there was a lot to report on Bellamy. Just the thought of his figure made red hot heat rise directly on her cheeks without it touching her nose at all- leaving it cold because of the climate change. Something had shifted over the last few days to cause this new feeling of- of- she didn't know how to describe it. It, in all its hot glory, was something though. The way her and Bellamy leaned closer to each other when conferring with one another- or the way his hand would support her back when he leaned in to get information from one of their many experts… it was so—normal. She could probably date books back to 2014 that said those were the ultimate signs that a guy liked you. It seemed like everyone knew, too. The survivors looked at them with these gazes that said they knew something was going on between them.

Yet, nothing at all was going on between them. They'd never held hands, never kissed, never had sex (not that she would immediately jump into "bed" with someone ever again because of Finn…) but there was a glimmer of a spark that was too bright not to see in the darkness that usually surrounded the camp. She crossed the dirt ground with a distracted but fresh smile playing across her lips.

She knew that she'd eventually have to come up for air and this whole "feelings for Bellamy" thing would vanish and it would be a faded glimmer that no one remembered- that is, if Bellamy never acted on his possible feelings for her. She was going to let him make the first move because she wasn't above sexism in that part of the relationship (but don't ever test her on women's equal rights about anything else because she's killed before- mercy kill or not- and she would barely hesitate to do it again.) She'd be willing to bet that Bellamy would never make the first move so ultimately- they were doomed and would never happen.

That didn't stop her pupils from dilating because of her attraction to Bellamy when she saw him standing in her safe haven. His once baby blue shirt was a dingy grayish blue with a few bloodstains here and there. She recognized the shirt as his panic shirt. You live with someone long enough-attraction or not- you notice the small things they clung to for security. For Clarke, it was the drop ship and its medical bay. For Bellamy, it was Octavia, loose women and that damn blue shirt. "Goo-" She was going to wish him good morning in an attempt to spread her happiness to the one person she was dying to make happy at that moment.

"Octavia's gone." He said with a serious frown. Clarke felt the stormy look in his eyes block out any of the sunshine she was feeling moments ago.

Bellamy:

"I'll grab my stuff." She said before he could tell her what he really wanted. He was taken aback by her eagerness to go track down Octavia. Usually, it was 'You go and I'll stay here and run the camp.'—not this time. And yes, there was a "usually" and "this time" associated with the amount of times Octavia went missing.

Clarke darted towards her tent before Bellamy could say anything to her about it. He already had his own bag, made out of seat belt and parachute scraps around his neck and hanging over his side. He smiled a little bit before he remembered that his wild sister was out wandering around without any weapons, any backup, or any supervision. This reminded him why he was in such a god awful mood in the first place.

He started walking towards the gate, signaling to his second in command that he was- in fact- leaving and he was in charge. Miller nodded in return. He also exchanged a few looks with Monty and Jasper who looked extremely concerned with the fact that O was missing- again. She was always running off with that grounder guy. It pissed Bellamy off- that's what it did. It didn't make him smile like it made Clarke smile sometimes because it wasn't romantic- it was ill-fated. A waste of time and a waste of energy, his sister should know better than to put all her marbles in the same bowl. He'd taught her better.

He shook his head and turned around, finding Clarke's blonde hair about fifteen feet away from him. She nodded before being rudely pulled back by the wrist. Bellamy knew who it was without meeting his eyes. Fucking Finn.

Clarke:

Clarke may worry about Octavia but unlike Bellamy- she didn't see why the relationship was so frowned upon. Clarke wasn't a romantic- not normally but she couldn't help but see the relationship Octavia had with the grounder like a beautiful novel. Their love- doomed, their people- different. It was all so… different and wonderful. Still, she trusted Bellamy even with his multiple personality flaws. She trusted him with her everything because that's what partners were supposed to do. Plus, she found that he was constantly proving himself in his own Bellamy way.

She felt a sharp tug on her wrist, causing her to reach for the knife she kept tucked by her lower back. "Easy." Finn said, still gripping her wrist like a prison shackle. "Where are you going?"

"With Bellamy to find Octavia." Clarke stated, distancing her voice because she didn't want him to think she cared for him. She didn't want him to believe that there was something there that just wasn't anymore.

He rolled his eyes, "You trust yourself with him by yourself?"

She tried to pull away from his grip- which was starting to hurt. She thought- like a trapped animal- about sticking the knife to his stomach and demanding he let her go. Instead, she used verbal knives. "I trust him with my life. I wish I could say the same about you."

"Don't try to cut me down because you can't stand yourself for pleasing him." She looked at him, yanking back her wrist in a firm tug.

"Pleasing him?" She questioned, anger rising ever second she looked at him directly in the eyes.

"Politically, sexually- I don't really care what you two are doing but when you see the real Clarke- tell her to stop by and visit the guy that loves her and is only worried about-"

"Raven." Clarke said, eyes cold as steel. "That's the only person you should be worried about." She was well aware of the witnesses of their argument…she didn't know who was looking at her- she only felt looked on and that was enough for her to momentarily lower her voice. She started to walk away, thinking she was meeting Bellamy's gaze. She wasn't. She was witnessing Bellamy staring down Finn. She heard Finn muttered something about screwing Bellamy like a desperate fool… that was her breaking point. She turned quick on her heels, "Even if I was fucking him, it's none of your damn business." It wasn't like her to use such language. She didn't even blush, she just moved closer to Bellamy who let her lead the way until they were out of the front gates.

He waited awhile to speak, "I don't like him, Clarke." He let that stay in the tension soaked air for a moment.

She sighed, "I know."

"No." He dragged out the word while he reached for her arm. She noticed that his grip was softer than Finn's despite his rough hands. "I really don't like him." Clarke immediately felt the heat rising to her cheeks again- it was uncontrollable and intolerable while it made its way across her face, down her neck to her chest.

"I deserve any punches he has to throw at me to get over me." She stated, "I'm the idiot that had sex with him without knowing him." She shrugged, "I made my bed, now I must lay in it."

He looked like he was thinking of a response before he said, "I respect that." He continued to think, though, which made Clarke unable to respond. "It's reasonable for him to think we're a couple." He declared after a few moments of silence. Her eyes asked him to explain his reasoning, "We're co-leaders- partners… I trust you, you trust me. At times, we literally put our lives in each other's hands. Meaning, we share a bond that he can never comprehend." He looked down at his feet, "Clarke…"

"Let's say this entire conversation is hypothetical." Clarke said, "We're leaders. We're in a stressful situation and stress can lead to tension which can lead to…" She knew, he knew what she was talking about.

He nodded, "It's natural."

"And as you said before, this hypothetical bond that we have can't be explained to anyone else." She breathed, "So, hypothetically-" She kept repeating that word because she was scared to say these were her actual thoughts and they were very much real. "-I wouldn't be able to have a normal relationship with anyone else."

"If you want to get textbook psychological, of course- that's possibly not even true." He shielded his eyes from her.

"I couldn't trust anyone the way I trust you." She said, "People can't handle a lack of trust or a shift in trust to someone besides their significant other."

"Plus, you're the alpha-female and I'm the alpha-male." He looked over at her quickly, "That is- if we are being hypothetical and sticking to what we've read in books."

"Yeah." She said, "Typically, our relationship would be rational because we would lead efficiently and control the population. And, we fit."

"Fit?"

"Yes, fit." She nodded, "My personality crashes with yours on a daily basis and that's what makes us a well-rounded team."

"Hypothetically." He reminded her. "I could protect you like no other person could. We'd be happy- maybe stressed, overworked and slightly angry but we could work."

She nodded, "I think the hypothetical conversation is over." She couldn't take it anymore- it was all running through her head. Everything they said sounded like some type of truth. "Octavia should be fairly close."

"Yeah, this is where she's found normally." Bellamy agreed, separating himself from Clarke a little.

Bellamy:

He didn't give a damn about hypothetical scenarios- he just gave a damn about her. The way her knife was exposed next to her hip made her look capable while the fairness of her skin made her look innocent. Compared to Bellamy, she was the most innocent person in the world. Her hand was balled up into a small fist, her eyes distant.

"I see her." Clarke said while she pointed "Octavia!" She called after a quick survey of the trees and land. Octavia turned around and looked at them with a twisted smile across her lips.

"I swear to god!" She said, not a real ounce of humor in her voice, "The party police brought back up."

"Do I have to handcuff you?" He asked her, "Or are you going to go freely."

"I'm not one of your bitches, Bellamy." Octavia said. He casted a glance towards Clarke to see if Octavia had hurt her feeling unintentionally. "Really Clarke? I thought you would understand why I'm doing this."

"I do." Clarke said, "But I can't let you risk your life every time you miss him. It's not safe and it truly worries us when we can't find you."

"Yeah, yeah- I get it." Octavia said, "It's a dangerous place out here."

Bellamy didn't like the way Clarke agreed with Octavia's life choices but he liked their relationship. It was nice to know there was someone else who wanted to protect Octavia. The walk back was long and silent except for the few times Clarke told Octavia about making permanent files for each patient instead of the chaos of random treatment. Octavia agreed with a nod and they continued in silence for the rest of the trip.

Octavia moved through the gate first- almost too happy to get away from Clarke and Bellamy. He looked over at Clarke as she bit her lip, most likely planning something for the camp. He moved closer to her, and kissed her for a second before pulling away. "What was that?" Clarke demanded to know.

"Just hypothetical."

"You're misusing the word hypothetical. You're not supposed to act on it!" She said, leaning forward before whispering. "This is real not hypothetical." She kissed him just like he'd kissed her before and then walked into the gate.