Hammerschlag presents: A Very Merry Christmas Special 2017 Episode 14: Lady Troubles.
It's 3AM on Christmas morning and I still can't think of anything for Fates. Ergo, I'm expanding a portion of a troll fic I released and subsequently deleted a few months ago. Some of you might remember it.
Corrin decided he'd had enough of the single life. He always wanted a woman in his life, but never knew exactly how to talk to one without being stupid or creepy. In Azura's case, both. Which, when he found out they were cousins, made him feel that much worse. So naturally, he felt the need to consult the resident master of all things women. Well, the self-proclaimed master of all things women, that is. Still, if he could provide any assistance at all, it would be better than nothing. Or so he thought.
"Ah, it's about time you took interest in a woman, my dear friend!" Laslow grinned, "sit down and let son of the legendary love master teach you about romance!"
Why did I choose to talk to HIM of all people?! Corrin screamed internally, immediately realizing his mistake. To his relief, Selena appeared.
Oh thank God; a distraction!
"Ah, what better way is there to teach the art of courting than by example? Watch closely," the mercenary jumped up from the log he was sitting on, ran to the swordswoman and began his routine,
"Oh magnificent dame, your–" before he could finish, Selena kneed him where it hurt, sending him straight to the floor, then turned to Corrin,
"Anything you want to add, m'lord?"
"N-no, I think I'm good!" the prince chuckled nervously.
"Wait a minute, were you trying talking to Laslow about women? What in the heavens drove you to think that was a good idea?"
"Uh…"
"Anyway, if there's a woman you're interested in, m'lord, perhaps I can get her to… open up a little."
"After what you did to Laslow, I think I'll pass."
"If you say so, it's not like I really care or anything. I mean, it might have been fun." Selena rolled her eyes.
"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT FUN MEANS TO YOU!" Corrin was growing more agitated by the second, though he still had enough sense in him to realize if he didn't calm down, Selena would probably make him regret it.
"Wow, you really know nothing about women, do you?"
"Hence I saw the most open man in the group," the prince covered his eyes in embarrassment.
"I think I'm beginning to see your logic. Well, I suppose if it's that important to you, I can give you a hand."
"Wait, really?"
"Sure. Meet me tonight for dinner in the mess and I'll teach you what you need to know."
"Sounds great! See you then!" Corrin exhaled in relief. Finally he was going to get some degree of help, and perhaps, if he was lucky, some proper experience.
So yeah, I Sainified Laslow a bit. It's not too out of character for him.
Writing tunes: More English drinking songs!