WARNING: TCEST! Don't like it? DONT READ IT!
DISCLAIMER: I do no own the turtles. If I did, there would be so much more Donnie 3
His thick fingers typed furiously at the computer infront of him, his mind in several different places all at once. It had been almost two years since Leo left to train in central America... Since he left him... He had sent mail during the first eight months, never to Donnie, but he still sent mail to let them know that he was okay, and that was good for Don.
"Why can't I come with you? You know just as much as I do that I need the training!" Donnie pleaded.
Donnie and Leo were in Leo's room, a large bag in the center, slowly filling with more equipment that would be needed for the long journey. The discussion had begun right after Leo had finally told the rest of the family of his plans. Donnie had been hurt that Leo had not confined in him of these plans. At the same time, his body filled with dread. He would have to live without his love for who knows how long. That's when the idea of accompanying Leo popped into his head. However, when he told Leo of his plan, when they were out of earshot from their brothers, Leo had immediately shot him down.
"Because our brothers need you. They need your big brain to give them the answers they will desperately be seeking. They are going to need that level head of yours to keep them in check." Leo said, his eyes never meeting Donnie's as he continued to pack.
"And they need a leader Leo! You cant possibly think that I can replace you! They need you Leo! I need you..." Donnie said, watching as Leo's movements slowed for a brief moment before continuing. It was only a moment, but it was still there.
The sound of something slamming brought Donnie's typing to a stop as he listened intently to the voices in the next room. Raph was finally home, and it seemed that mikey was lecturing him. Judging by the slight panic in Mikey's voice, Raph had injured himself yet again, summoning the serious side of his mate. Sometimes, it really hurt to watch them flirt and cuddle, but Donnie would never say anything.
"They don't need a leader like me! I need to go Donnie, I have to. I'm doing this for the family! I have to do this!" Leo said with hints of irritation in his voice, but Donnie ignored it.
"I know you need to go! that's why instead of doing everything in my power to convince you to stay, I am going with you. You cant stop me Leo." Donnie said as he walked towards their closet, pulling out his own bag and began to fill it with his necessities.
"Donnie, no. You are not coming with me!" Leo snapped, grabbing Donnie's bag from him and emptying it again.
"Why the shell not! And don't you tell me its because of our brothers! because you know just as much as I do that its a stupid excuse! Seriously Leo! why cant you be straight forward and just tell-" Donnie's angered rant was cut off.
"Because I don't want you there! Do you know how annoying you are being right now! Shell, if I wanted you with me I would have invited you! now leave me the shell alone and be the stupid pacifist of the damn family!" Leo all but screamed at him, his words making every vein in Donnie's body freeze.
His olive green hands gripped the desk in front of him as an all to familiar pain wracked trough his body, causing him to clench his teeth tightly together to avoid making any noise. Something inside him was desperately trying to crawl its way out, and Donnie knew exactly what it was. Once the pain had subsided, Donnie slowly moved to stand on his weak legs, pushing the exhaustion from his mind.
He hadn't slept more than a couple of hours at a time for at least a week, probably more. The nightmares that used to haunt him had returned not too long after Leo left, rendering sleep unimportant. He refused to revisit the horrid future that his mind decided to torture him with. Seeing his brother die over and over again because he wasn't strong enough to save them was not something he like to continuously relive.
Once his legs stopped shaking, he made his way towards that medical cot on the other side of the room, anticipating his brothers arrival. A small smirk graced his lips for a brief moment as his brothers entered the room. It seemed that no matter how much he had changed since Leo left, his brothers hadn't.
Sure, Mikey wasn't as happy go lucky and Raph was more of an ass, but other than that, their customs and personalities had changed very little. the exact opposite of Donnie. He had become more held back, less sociable and more emotionless. Don refused to let his family see what he had become. To see the weakling that was hiding just beneath the skin.
Donnie let his smirk disappear as he reached for his medical kit and grabbed the necessary items for Raph's quick patch up. He could hear his hot headed brother mumble something about Donnie being a mind reader, and had to hold in his chuckle as Mikey laid his injured mate on the cot, sitting next to him as he pointed out the small gash on Raph's leg.
Donnie automatically went into doctor mode and began to wipe the alcohol drenched cloth over the wound a few times, earning a few curse words from the hot head. Mikey placed a hand on Raph's shoulder and smiled at him warmly, trying to calm him down. Donnie was fully aware of the fowl mood his older brother was in, but he really didn't care. It was Raph's fault that he gotten injured once again.
"How many time must I be your doctor? You go out all the damn time claiming to be getting in your work out, yet you come home with new wounds. Do you not give a damn about how the rest of us feel when your out there doing who knows what." Donnie said numbly, not once taking his eyes off the wound he was stitching.
"Not give a shit? What 'bout ya, genius? Ya dun eva' leave ya damn experiments to do anything with yer damn family. Don't ya call me selfish when yer the only one being selfish." Raph snapped, earning a warning squeeze from Mikey.
"I am not calling you selfish. I am simply stating that every time you go out for hours at a time that you are hurting Michelangelo. If it isn't plain as day what he's feeling to you, then you truly are selfish." Donnie said simply, brushing off Raph's last insult.
"Ya know what Don! Fuck ya and yer stupid brain! Dun cha' tell me how to act!" Raph growled angrily, the muscles in his legs tensing up as Donnie continued to wrap them tightly.
"I'm not telling you how to act. I'm simply stating that you should take into consideration how your mate feels and stop going to the surface. if Leo was here-"
"That's exactly it Don! Leo ain't here! and do ya know why his ass is still in central America?! Because ya and yer annoying personality scared him away! He left to get away from you!" Raph yelled, causing Don to momentarily pause, but he continued to wrap Raph up.
"Wh-what?" Don asked, his eyes stinging with unshed tears.
"You heard me! get the shell out! I don't want you around! I don't want to be with you! shell, I don't even want to look at you! go fuck yourself! I should have just stayed with Usagi! He was better in bed than you were anyway!" Leo screamed again, this time taking a step closer to Donnie, his eyes filled with malice and anger, cool grey becoming bitch black.
"Wh-what? yo-you slept with Usagi?" Donnie basically whimpered, his emotions dangerously close to spilling over.
"Oh fuck yes! He was ten times fucking better then you, so good I wish that I chose him instead of your ugly ass! He never tried to bore me with stupid crap about technology and science! The only time that he annoyed me was when he decided to make me choose between you two. Said something about how it was wrong for me to fuck him when I was dating to you. All in all, he was just better for me! Now get the hell out of my life!" Leo screamed as his stance become more aggressive.
Shock filled every part of Donnie's thin body as he closed his eyes, willing the tears away. His hands formed into to fists and his breathing became labored. Donnie shoved every bit of sadness, anger and depression into the box in the back of his mind.
"Fine. if that's how you want it to be, then so be it. You can go on your stupid little trip, just don't expect me to crawl back into your arms like some pet when you return." Donnie growled. He turned on his heel and walked out of the room, refusing to let Leo see his pain.
Leo left that night. He had said goodbye to everyone. everyone, except Donnie.
"Raph!" Mikey growled.
Donnie didn't say anything as he finished wrapping up Raph's legs and stood, holding in the wince from his stiff legs, and gathered his medical equipment. Once everything was placed back into the organised drawers, Donnie turned and walked back to his computer, where he could be alone once again. No one in his family knew about Leo's betrayal, mainly because he never spoke about their fight.
"Don... I..." Raph started.
"It is fine Raphael. Your wound will take a few days to heal, and I suggest that you stay off your feet as much as possible, to avoid further damage." Donnie said, his voice holding the same numbness that it usually held. Silence followed, but he could still feel their pity filled stares. The longer they stared, the more he tensed up, he hated it when others pitied, but it seemed to be happening more and more lately.
"Now, if you would please leave. I have some important things that need my attention. Unless you need something." Donnie said, refusing to turn and look at them as he typed at his computer once again. Another few seconds of awkward silence, and the couple stood, Mikey helping Raph walk out of the room.
Silence.
Donnie closed his eyes tightly, Raph's earlier words echoing through his mind. If only the hot head knew how much those words spoke the truth. His typing stopped as he stood up and crossed the room, grabbing a box that he kept hidden from his brothers. As he walked towards his desk, he made sure to lock the door.
Ever since the dreams began to haunt him, he had decided that if the future was truly unavoidable, that he would at least make something that could give his brothers the things that he took form them.
He set the box on the clear desk and opened it, setting the items within it along the desk. Two mechanical arms, Three mechanical eyes and one blue bandana. There was also a second blue bandana but he hadn't finished with the circuitry just yet.
The arms were for Mikey, just in case he truly did lose his arm. The eyes were for Raph, to give him back the eye that was stolen from him. And the blue bandana was for Leo. There were different bits of electronics throughout the thick fabric, made to stimulate the senses in the eyes. That would grant sight back to one who had lost it.
Many sleepless nights were spent working on them and he continued to make copies, just in case one was to get destroyed in battle. If he was going to be the one to take those things from his brothers, then he was also going to be the one to give them back.
After setting up all the equipment he needed, Donnie began to work on the second bandana. He couldn't remember how long he had spent working on the small project, but he did know that exhaustion was creeping in and causing him to make countless mistakes. Out of anger, Donnie shot his fisted hand out towards the wall next to him.
He didn't make a sound as his hand cracked and his knuckles split open, blood sliding down he wall. No pain was felt as he let his hand remain there for a moment longer, letting the feeling of his blood seeping out him wash out the emotions he had kept bottled up for so long. He stood up and grabbed the bandages he kept close by, wrapping them over his hand multiple times before leaving his lab to get some coffee.
Judging by the sounds coming from the second floor, Mikey was trying to make Raph forget about the pain in his leg and go to sleep. The frown that was already on Donnie's face grew deeper as his thoughts wandered to Leo. How they had spent times like that together, trying to make the other forget about other things and go to sleep.
Most of the time it was Leo doing the convincing, since Donnie was usually in the middle of a project when Leo dragged him off to bed. The thought of going and sleeping while there was an unfinished project sitting in is laboratory always made Donnie restless. Leo had made it his job to distract Donnie and make him sleep. Without that, now Donnie went night after night without any sleep.
He also forgot to eat on many different occasions. Even when Mikey deliberately brought food into his lab so he could eat, he would only eat a few bites during his experiments. Because of these things, he was getting thinner and more exhausted, however, the evidence of those things were easily hidden by the lab coat he continuously had buttoned up and the mask he wore over his eyes.
The smell of fresh coffee brought him back to reality as he looked down to see the coffee he had subconsciously brewed. After so many times of making coffee when he was exhausted, he learned how to do it without thinking about it. He poured the coffee into a large mug and made his way back to his lab. The sounds coming from the second floor had stopped, so Donnie assumed that his brothers were asleep.
Once in the comfort of his lab, Donnie began to work once again, drinking the coffee decently quickly so that he would wake up faster. He worked through the night, along with most of the next day and his exhaustion, unaware of the person who was going to make an appearance later the next evening. The one person who kept him up at night.
So there you have it :P
A kind of depressing story :/ but I unfortunately like to torture my poor little Donnie
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!
And review :D