I don't anything or intend this for offense, blah, blah, blah. I'M GETTING SICK OF WRITING THIS! Anyway, this was requested for Notramjet97, it's kinda like a spin off to his stories (which you should go read. Like right now). But he's also co-authored it so partial credit to him. But the other credit is mine. ALL MINE! R&R
#1 NEVER ASK HOW IT HAPPENES
We were all at the hospital
Don't worry, no one was hurt :] (yet)
Rainbow Dash had her foal
I asked how that happened
She and Applewood blushed
Prowl threw me in the brig
What did I do wrong? DX
#2 PONIES ARE NOT BASKETBALLS
It's Ratchet's fault
He wondered how flexible the ponies were
So I volunteered to show him
Pinkie pie actually enjoyed it...
Prowl found it not so amusing
I was thrown in the brig
Again
#3 NEVER SHOW THE PONIES OLD HUMAN WESTERNS
Spike...
Didn't you read the fine print?
Do not try this at home
You are not a cowboy
Prowl, of course, threw me in the brig
Why me?
#4 WINONA, STOP PEEING ON RATCHET
He's not a tree sapling
Nor does he find it amusing when you mark on his tires
I promise you, one of these days-organic or not-he WILL throw a wrench at you
#5 DO NOT RANDOMLY SHOUT "CANNIBALS!" UNLESS THERE IS ONE
We were invited to an Opera
I, of course, didn't want to go
Prowl, of course, dragged me there
Worst five megacycles of my life
But Noonblaze and Twilight began doing...something
It looked like she was eating him
So I yelled, "CANNIBALS!"
All attention was directed on the couple
I never knew organics could turn so red
Prowl threw me in the brig
They were apparently KISSING
How in all of Cybertron was I supposed to know?
#6 NEVER TRY AND BUCK A TREE
Applejack did it
How hard could it be?
Apparently really hard
I uprooted the whole thing
And it flew...
And hit...
Prowl
I was sent to the brig
How did he know it was me?
#7 NEVER TRY AND BAKE CUPCAKES
Pinkie pie...
You make it look so easy!
And she told me to try it!
So I did
Her song was really confusing
How can you pinch flour?
My cupcakes came out of the oven...
And tried to eat me...
Prowl had to shoot it
He threw me in the brig and banned me from the kitchen without supervision
#8 YOU CANNOT EARN A CUTIE MARK
I joined the Cutie Mark Crusaders
But even after we discovered my special talent...
I didn't get my cutie mark
We had narrowed my skills down to:
A. Getting thrown in the brig
B. Annoying Prowl
C. Getting in trouble
D. Weirding people out
Prowl threw me in the brig
I don't even know what I did!
#9 DO NOT INTRODUCE DERPY TO PROWL
She made him glitch
She can defy the laws of physics
And likes muffins
I, of course, became an instant admirer of her
Prowl threw me in the brig
Whether it's for bringing Derpy or liking her I shall never know
#10 NEVER TRY AND LOOK AFTER ANGEL
Fluttershy asked me to
Forget 'the stare'
She has the most hypnotic puppy dog eyes
That rabbit is seriously mis-named
I eventually got so frustrated with him I drop kicked him
…into Prowl's face...
Hello brig, did you miss me?